23 Reality's alternatives
As Sarah reached the far side of the bridge she couldn't help taking one last look back at it, at the words carved into it and as she did so she saw them disappear, within seconds the wood was smooth, seamless, there was no trace there'd ever been anything there. Bewildered once more she began to turn back around and at that point she felt a shock of pain flow through her entire body. She collapsed to the floor, unable to support herself with the pain invading her flesh. But this was different to the times before. Then the pain had been focused around her chest, it was a deep agonising pure pain. This pain was all over her body, worse in some parts than others, and it was a different type of pain, more raw, less crushing, but agonising none the less. As she opened her eyes she realised she was staring into the eyes of someone she knew, someone she loved, the person she was closest to in the whole world. Toby. For a second she saw him, for a second she registered the pure pain in his eyes, and felt it tug at her heart. And then it was gone.
When she awoke she lay in Ludo's arms and could feel herself being carried. As she opened her eyes she felt a slight residual pain covering her body, an ache that wouldn't quite seem to quit. Slowly lifting her head she felt Ludo stop moving as he realised she was conscious once again.
"Sawah awake."
"Yes Ludo, I'm awake, wish I wasn't though, I've got an awful headache."
"Bang head?"
"No, well yes, I suppose, I don't know. I'll be okay, can you put me down please."
"Sawah down."
"Thank you Ludo."
"My lady, thank goodness thou art awake. We were extremely worried."
"What were wrong? You okay now?" This last from Hoggle, and the look on all their faces made Sarah smile despite the throbbing that had taken up residence inside her head. They cared, they truly cared. But she was too worried over her vision to really be happy. Why had she seen Toby? What had she really seen? What the hell was going on?
Frustrated but realising that her friends were still worried she reassured them she was fine, just a little fainting spell, and with that they continued, although where they were, Sarah had no idea. They'd left what used to be the bog of stench a while ago it seemed, and she'd never been in this part of the Labyrinth before. On either side of her was a mesh wire fence. From a distance it looked like your normal run of the mill fence, but as Sarah peered a little closer she realised the wire was in fact glittering in the weak sunlight that penetrated the thick black clouds gathered overhead. As she looked closer at the wire she realised it wasn't wire, and upon touching it she discovered it was a spider's web. Instantly she recoiled, the foolish fear of spiders she'd had as a child coming to the fore. Looking down she realised she was on another bridge, she could see through the wooden slats of the floor that they were walking over a huge cavern, so huge she couldn't see the bottom. As far as she could see the slopes were covered in bushes and trees, but no grass. The ground she could see between the foliage seemed to be entirely bare rock or hard, cracked mud. How anything grew there she had no idea, but grow it did. As she tripped slightly on one of the boards she was saved from having to touch the webbed sides of the bridge only because it was so far away. The bridge itself was at least 3 meters wide and seemed to extend forever in either direction.
"Where are we?" She asked in confusion.
"The chasm of seeing!" Samael answered excitedly.
"What does that mean?"
"I, erm, I, I, I don't know." He replied looking decidedly dejected at not being able to answer. Smiling tenderly Sarah placed her hand on his shoulder to let him know it was okay. It really was like dealing with a child, but in a good way. He had the pure excitement of childhood, and a pleasantness that would take a lot to dispel, he was truly a joy to be around and Sarah was glad he'd been able to join the group.
As they continued to walk on Sarah couldn't help but think about Toby, she'd seen him but didn't know why. Had he seen her? The pain in his eyes suggested he had, but if so, where was she, what had he seen? The throbbing in her head intensified and she was forced to close her eyes for a while only to open them almost instantly as she saw her father. He was hunched over in a small plastic chair. His eyes were closed and he was asleep, or passed out from drink, she couldn't tell. What was obvious was his unkempt state, his hair was a mess, he obviously hadn't shaved in days. His clothes were rumpled and there were a couple of stains on his shirt that looked like soup or something along those lines. Shocked by her vision, but curious as to what it could mean, she closed her eyes warily and once more she saw her father in the same position. She watched as a tear slowly slid down his cheek and then what she was seeing changed. She saw her father again, but this time he was at home, sat on their sofa laughing. He was obviously sober and he looked truly happy, his eyes sparkled and what she was seeing caused a lump in her throat. It had been so long since she had seen him like that, happy, sober, at peace with the world. She saw Toby, looking older, sat next to him, with a huge smile on his face. The whole scene was pleasant, light, joyful and against her will she felt a tear squeezed from her closed eyes. How many times had she seen this in her mind, wished for it to replace her reality. It had been years since happiness had truly filled their house. She had longed for this with her whole soul, but there was something different about this scene than what she had dreamed about hundreds of times, it seemed real almost. It was distorted, slightly vague, but it seemed so real, like it could really happen. Both Toby and her father looked older, not old, but certainly not the age they were now.
As she pondered the meaning of what she was seeing, her mind was suddenly catapulted into another direction. The living room disappeared and she was no longer looking at her father, but at her brother. He was wearing a black suit, tears were streaming down his face, but his tears were silent, his face a mask that covered the agony she could see in his eyes. She could see the pain he was in, yet couldn't keep her eyes there, her sight was drawn to the ground at his feet, and the hole that was there, at the coffin six feet below the surface, the single white rose lying on the top of it. She couldn't bear to look up, she didn't want to know what was written on the headstone, she couldn't face it, because she knew in her heart what it said. Yet her gaze was drawn upwards despite her will, she barely glanced at her brothers hand which held another hand, hardly even thought about who that second hand belonged to, all she could do was stare at the name carved into the stone set at the head of the grave. Her father's name.
Once more her eyes flew open with shock. Her legs gave way and she crashed to her knees on the bridge, but this bridge wasn't as stable as the other. The force of her collapse sent the bridge swaying enough for Sarah to be thrown sideways as her mind was focussed on what she had seen. The spider's web that had seemed so sturdy gave way under her weight and neither her nor her friends had time to react before her body fell from the bridge down into the seemingly bottomless cavern. As the reality of the situation hit her Sarah began to panic, she knew she was going to die, but her life did not flash before her eyes, instead all she could think of was how she had failed her family, she had not been there for them enough before, and now her actions had led to her death. She closed her eyes in order to avoid having to watch the ground coming towards her. She was falling fast, could feel the wind whipping past her, every now and then a stray branch would catch her causing an endless amount of small scratches, but she was aware of none of this. As soon as she closed her eyes her mind was once again filled with the vision of her father and brother laughing together, the mirth obvious to see and so she fell to her death with a smile on her face.