Title: The Great Psychological Escape
Author: TWBasketcase
Rated: T for, well if you read the first chapter I am sure you get the point.
Chapter Summary: Well its now time for everyone's favorite geek to be analyzed.
A/N: This is way too much fun. I am glad that you agree and are back to read more :)
A/N 2: If you want a basic idea of how I imagine Richard Hashimoto to look like, picture Dean Ulich in 'Revenge of the Nerds'.
http// www. luminomagazine. com/ mw/ content/ view/ 350/ 4 – Great picture! Just take out all of the spaces!

Chapter 2 – A Parent's Wet Dream

Mr. Hashimoto twirled around and around and around in his great big chair. He was waiting for his next student to come in, and in the mean time, he was playing a game! He held an opened package of cue cards out in his flattened hand, and then began to spin in his chair once more. The cards went flying out like a tornado, and he whooped and cheered for the fun mess. What? Carl got paid by the hour, and would not mind staying a bit afterwards to clean his office!

He quickly stopped spinning as the buzzing of his desk speaker sounded. His glasses sat crookedly on his face and his bow tie was now sideways. He smoothed down his hair, and fixed himself up. "Yes?"

Doris' nasally voice once more sounded throughout the room. "You have another visitor, Richie."

Richard's grin widened. "Oh Doris! I knew that you would come around with a pet name. You really are a sweet woman when you are in a sensitive mood!"

"No pet names!" She bellowed through the gold speaker. But Richard could only tsk her.

"Not even poopsie?" He asked pouting out his bottom lip.

"No!"

"How about my little cuddlebumps?" He stuck his lip out further.

"I hate that one." She sounded annoyed.

"Not even tootsie bum?" He put his index finger on his outstretched lip.

"Not even anything!" She yelled exasperatedly.

"Okay, okay no more," He surrendered. "Well…what if I called you my special little olive?" He added widened-eyes-with-raised-eyebrows to his super-outstretched-lip-with-index-finger-on-top.

"Olives? I hate olives!" Doris shrieked. He could tell she was getting emotional again.

He threw his other arm up in the air – this was him striking a pose to go along with his super odd facial expression. "Okay, I got crumb! It suits you so well!" However, this time he got no response. The student he had been waiting for entered the room. Hashimoto instantly composed himself and smiled.

"Hi there, little fella! What's your name?" He put his hands on his lap as if he were talking to a puppy.

"Brian…Brian Johnson." The boy answered looking rather sheepish. Right away Richard could tell he was dealing with a soft-spoken and sensitive nerd. He had a feathered comb over, and wore his t-shirt tucked into his pants. He was just like Richard when he was in high school! Except he had a really cool pair of Felix the Cat suspenders. Oh how he had loved Felix.

"Well that is just a super name!" he exclaimed joyfully, trying his hardest to make the boy a little more comfortable. He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a manila folder and neatly scrawled 'Brian Johnson' on the top. He flung it open and threw some paper in it. "Well, let's get started, shall we?"

Brian only nodded and sat down at the wooden chair that was situated in front of Richard's great big oak desk. He placed his backpack next to the chair and folded his hands neatly in his lap. "Listen, you know…uh…I'm not too, uh, sure why I am here…"

Richard's eyes went a bit shifty and he dove into his upper left hand drawer for his notes. "One moment please, your service will return momentarily!" He laughed, trying to sound funny. Brian's eyes only widened as he watched the lunatic in front of him.

He found a small cue card (one that he hadn't thrown) that had his list of names on it. He looked for Brian's and found the words 'elephant' 'gun' 'locker' and 'peewee' written next to it. Hashimoto had to shake his head at Mr. Vernon's choice of words.

"Okay Brian, let's talk about the elephant first." He grabbed his super cool Shermer High Wolves Clicky Pen and got into his writing position. "What is it about the elephants that bother you?"

Brian looked completely confused for a moment there before his stopped blinking and spoke. "Well…all I needed to do was just pull on the trunk…"

"Brian!" Mr. Hashimoto shrieked, completely interrupting him. "You never do that to an elephant! That is their most sensitive place! How would you like it if someone pulled on your most sensitive area?"

Brian's face burned a bright red and he seemed to choke on his words. "I'm not too sure what you, uh, mean by that…"

Richard shook his head disappointedly and scribbled into Brian's file. "Brian this is no joke here! Elephants do not like to be pulled on, tugged, jerked, or tampered with! They are innocent animals who do not deserve that type of treatment! Could you tolerate people who would do that to you? Would you like getting jerked Brian?"

This time Brian's eyes widened to the size of saucers and his head turned a scary shade of purple. "Well, uh, sir, um…I guess that depends…"

"Okay, that is enough…I think we need to talk about the proper treatment of animals here. Is that why you had a gun, Brian? Was it to hurt the elephant?"

Brian swallowed hard. "Well the elephant was destroyed, sir."

Richard couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Okay, so not only did you jerk the elephant's sensitive place, but you destroyed him? You were jerking a dead elephant???"

Brian's eyes widened. "No! I mean, no, sir! I brought the gun to school and put it in my locker! I was waiting until study break to take it out!"

Richard looked down at his file. So far it had read, "Nervous jittery boy with a phobia of elephants; enjoys jerking while dead. Has a tendency to be homicidal with use of a gun." He looked back up at the boy and wondered if this was how John Gacy was when he was a boy. He had to admit, he was a little afraid of the student in front of him.

"What did you do with the gun next Brian?" Brian smoothed down his hair and clenched the arms of the chair so hard that his knuckles were turning white.

"Well, sir, I was very angry at my teacher, Mr. Ryan, he failed me in shop. He didn't like the elephant either."

Richard nodded slowly. "So you wanted to extract your revenge on Mr. Ryan for dismissing your dear elephant? I think this might be a territory problem, Mr. Johnson." He began scribbling on the paper again and didn't look up at the student.

Brian was at a loss for words. "You really think so? I was just worried about my grades…I didn't think it was the result of an anger problem that I had." He frowned and bowed his head in shame.

"Brian, I have seen cases like this all too often. A lot of people don't know exactly where their anger stems from. The last boy that was in here had the opposite problem. We discovered that he was a pervert."

Brian's eyes widened at that news and he swallowed. "Does he go here?"

Hashimoto nodded somberly. "Yes he does. As you can see, you aren't the only one in the school with problems, son." He leaned back in his great big chair and folded his hands over his stomach. "By the sounds of things, Brian, you are a lot more self assured than you believe. You have this façade that you have a low self esteem, but I think – I know – different. You have an inner lion inside of you."

Brian blinked at him. "So that may explain my hate for elephants."

"Yes, Brian." Hashimoto assured. "You want to have a control and domination over things and people who are bigger than you. That was why you jerked the elephant. That was why Mr. Ryan almost received your revenge."

Brian bit his lip. "I didn't want to hurt Mr. Ryan, sir. I just wanted him – and everyone – to know that the grade meant a lot to me. I didn't want to hurt him; I just wanted to show him."

Richard bit his lip. "I know, son, a lot of serial killers say the same thing during testimony."

Brian's eyes moistened and Richard smiled; he was really getting through to him! The boy wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "So what can I do to help myself? I don't want to be some kinda monster! I really am a good person!"

Richard gave him a nonchalant look. "Yeah, sure you are. Listen, most people would have to go through extensive rehabilitation processes and jail terms to cure – and even punish people – for this type of erratic behavior."

"No!" Brian squeaked and got down on his knees, and folded his hands as if in a prayer. "I'll do anything! Don't send me there! I wouldn't last! They would eat me alive! They would make me impure! I would be a bitch!" His voice cracked heavily at the last part of his sentence.

Richard held up his hand. "Don't worry son, I wouldn't do that to a kid like you. You know, I was just like you once – of course I wasn't messed up – but, generally speaking, I was like you. I wouldn't want you getting tainted."

Brian smiled gratefully and sat up in his chair, dusting off his knees simultaneously. "Thank you, sir."

"Brian, I think that your problem is treatable. You are just at a confusing time in your life, and you are tired of all the pressure and teasing. You want to be a whole, mature, responsible adult some day, and for that I believe you are fixable."

"So what exactly is my problem?" Brian looked at the man with curious eyes.

"Homicidal bestiality." Richard held up his hands when Brian looked as though he were going to protest. "Son, I know that this is hard to accept, but all of your recent behavior points at this conclusion. It's like a science experiment; you gather all of your information and observations, then there is the outcome."

"Oh god! I am a freak!" He put his head in his hands and sulked. "I never thought in a million years that THAT was my problem! It just never made sense…"

"Until now," Hashimoto concluded for him. "It will be okay, Brian. Things will start to look up for you soon. I think the best thing for all parties involved would be for you to start keeping a daily journal of all your thoughts and feelings. Then you will report to me three times a week." Brian nodded somberly and Mr. Hashimoto stood from his seat. "I'll help you through this, Brian! Everything will turn out super!"

Brian stood from his feet and tried to hide his blush. "This is all so embarrassing!"

Richard nodded understandably. "I know that. You will come to terms with everything soon enough. In the meantime, just focus on your journal and keeping the violence contained, okay?"

He nodded his head and gathered his backpack from the floor. He was a few steps away from the door when Richard stopped him. "Oh, and Brian?"

He turned to face him with an uncomfortable gaze. "Yeah?"

"Do you have any pets at home?" he folded his arms over his chest and leaned back on his heels.

Brian nodded. "My dog, Buddy. Why?"

Richard let out a long breath. "Well, I suggest that you keep Buddy outside, or maybe in the garage until all of this blows over. What do you say?"

Brian bit his lip and nodded. "Yeah, I don't want to drag Buddy into this mess."

Richard nodded. "That's a good boy. I will see you on Friday."

"Yes, sir." With that, Brian turned around and walked out the door. A large smile played over Richard's face and he raced back to his large chair and spun around happily.

"Another child! This is so super! The boss' will be so proud!" He spun around on his chair once more and let out a cheer. "What a great way to turn a frown upside down!"

TBC

A/N: GAH! That was messed. Anyhow, I do not own Felix the Cat or John Wayne Gacy. Thank god. Anyhow, if there are any of you out there that don't know what bestiality is, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT GOOGLE IT!! Just let me know and I will tell you; I know some of you don't have English as the first language. So just don't try to figure it out because you will probably see something you don't want to see. Ha! Anyhow, thanks for reading and please review!