AN: Again I'm sorry for the delay in posting this, but I kept on changing it as it just didn't seem to flow proplery. Hopefully that is all fixed now and the story has moved on!

All reviews very welcomed, and thanks for all of those who have already sent a review. You make my day everytime you take a moment to reply.

Elliot lay watching Olivia as she slept peacefully in his arms. She had cried herself to sleep a couple of hours ago as he had tried to comfort her and convince her that she hadn't been responsible for what had happened. How successful he had been with that he still wasn't at all sure of. At least she had eventually stopped fighting him and let him hold her. For the little that he had been able to do for her he was grateful.

He regretfully looked at his watched and sighed as he saw the time. He'd have to get going soon, even though he would have loved to be able to stay right where he was, holding her in his arms as she slept.

Olivia felt exhausted, both physically ad emotionally. But for some reason she also felt incredibly warm and safe. She could hear the steady beating of Elliot's heart as he held her, felt his breath ruffle her hair and his hands gently caressed her back.

He'd made it clear to her that he wasn't going to leave her, or let her take the blame for what happened to Kathy no matter how much she had believed, and still did, that she deserved it. She still felt guilty that she was here and Cathy wasn't. Cathy who had her children and her family and Elliot to live for and care for. When what did Olivia have? Certainly not anyone who relied on her, no children, no family, no one to love her. All she had was her job and a handful of friends.

She felt Elliot move and then sigh, she couldn't help but tense a little, thinking that this was it, he would finally tell her what she had been dreading for the past day.

"Liv?"

He'd felt her tense up as he'd sighed and knew that she was somewhat awake. He feared that she'd freak out, or shut him out. He couldn't bare that, not now, not ever.

Olivia didn't want to answer, didn't want to hear the words from him, she hoped that if she kept still enough, kept her eyes closed, pretended long enough, that she could keep the illusion of Elliot caring for her just that bit longer. She feared that when she opened her eyes the security and warmth that she felt in the moment before would be forever gone, beyond her reach.

"What's the matter Liv? Are you in pain? Do you want me to get the nurse for you?"

The longer that she refused to answer him the more concerned he became, he sat up a little, still holding her, stroking her, trying to draw her out to him again. He had to find out what had scared her or hurt her, he had to try and make it better somehow.

"Come on Livia, please, tell me what's wrong."

She shook her head, he sounded worried.

No not worried.

Scared.

She opened her eyes and glanced up at him. She could see the fear in his face, fear for her. After all that he had lost he was still scared for her?

She moved to pull herself away from him and sit up a little and gasped as pain ripped through her stomach and shoulder. She squeezed her eyes closed and took quick shallow breaths while trying to get the pain under control a little. It took a few moments but as the pain receded she became aware of Elliot massaging her shoulder and back in an effort to help ease her pain.

"Take it easy Liv, that's it, just relax,"

She eased back onto the pillows.

Elliot smoothed back her hair as she settled back into her bed, god she'd scared him just then.

"Sorry."

Elliot sighed, he wasn't sure what she was trying to apologize for, but as far as he was concerned she had nothing to apologize for. She was alive, and for him, and the kids, that was enough. God he wanted to hold her again, but feared that she may freak out on him, and besides he had to go soon.

"Liv, you don't have to apologize. Tell me what's wrong. Please?"

She looked at him, his blue eyes searching for an answer, worried that he'd done something wrong. She felt the tears well in her eyes again and looked away. Maybe Cathy had been right, maybe she had been stealing Elliot away from his wife and his family.

"Nothing, really."

He watched her for a moment, his heart breaking as he watched the emotions play, so close to the surface because of all that had happened and all of the drugs that they had her on to help her heal. He wished that he could stay, hold her until she fell asleep again. He gently smoothed her hair back and waited for her to look at him again before he spoke.

"It wasn't nothing Liv, if something is wrong, please tell me. I want to help. But if you don't feel comfortable telling me what the problem is at least let me get someone else to help you."

He felt his heart shatter as she looked at him, she looked so lost. He knew that the fight to save her was still raging. That even though she was here, with them, that they still may loose her if they couldn't convince her of how important she was to them all. How much that they all loved her.

How much he loved her.

Needed her.

"Please baby, don't shut me out."

Olivia froze as she heard him.

Baby?

Had he really said that?

"Liv?" Elliot asked when he saw her freeze. "Liv?"

"Baby?"

Elliot gave himself a mental head slap as he realised what he'd said. She didn't need that on top of everything that she was trying to cope with already. God knew what Cathy had said to her while she was being held. He looked at his watch again and grimaced. Then nodded to her.

"Sorry, it slipped out, I didn't mean to scare you Liv." He reached over to gently hold her hand. He needed some contact with her, to reassure himself that she was really still there that this wasn't some dream, or at times nightmare.

She shook her head as she processed this latest piece of information. Then she noticed that he was looking at his watch.

"You don't need to stay here El, if you need to be somewhere go, I'll be ok."

He eased himself onto the side of her bed so that he could face her, still holding her hand.

"I'd like to stay, but the kids have decided to go back to school today for a couple of hours, sort of easing themselves back into it. Their friends have been calling them all asking when they were coming back. The only time the phones not ringing is when someone's talking on the damn thing."

Olivia laughed at the face he was pulling, and knew that he was trying to ease the tension a little. But he'd always been able to make her smile, to forget what it was that was troubling her.

"I bet." She squeezed his hand, trying to show him that she was fine, even if she wanted nothing more than to just curl up in his arms and hide away from the world and her memories.

"I said I'd stay with the twins for a while just in case they need me." They had been so scared since this had happened that they didn't like not knowing exactly where Elliot was or how Olivia was doing. They were scared that if they didn't know then they'd loose them both as well. Dickie and Lizzie had both spent a lot of time at the hospital with him while they all waited, and had insisted on visiting Olivia at least once a day since she'd woken up. More if they could wheedle it with which ever adult happened to be taking care of them at the time. But he'd made sure that they knew how much he loved them, and that he wasn't going anywhere, and in turn they had tried to show Olivia the same. Again pride of his children swelled in his chest. God he was lucky. "If you think you'll be up to it I know the kids want to drop in after school and say hi, see for themselves that you're doing ok."

"Sure, only if they want to, I don't want them to feel that they have to come and see me."

"Hey, that's enough of that." Elliot said as he forced her to look at him, she'd looked away as if she was scared of what he'd say. God he wished again that he'd been able to stop this from happening. Or of at least knowing what Cathy had said to her. "Do you know how hard it is for me to keep them all away from here? If I'd let them they'd all be here 24/7, along with everyone else."

"Liar" she said softly.

He knew that she hadn't meant him to hear but he had, and he pulled her into a hug, burying his face in her hair.

"You have no idea how scared we have all been about you. All of us, not just me and the kids. You so much to more people than you know. When we got the call saying that something had happened do you know who we were worried about?"

Olivia shook her head as she felt the tears fall again.

"We were worried about you." Elliot said as he held her, soothed her as she cried again. "All of us, it was the kids that suggested that you were in danger when we got the call that something had happened at the house. It was you that we were all scared for. You Olivia, not Cathy, you. The first thought that any of us had was for your safety, and we are all so sorry that we weren't able to stop this from happening, that we weren't fast enough to stop you from getting hurt by the crap that was happening in our lives. You were an innocent bystander Liv."

"No." Olivia sobbed into him, denying what he was saying but at the same time needing to believe what he was saying to her, hoping that he wouldn't lie to her.

"Did you know the reason that the kids wanted me to take them away for the weekend?" He waited till he felt her shake her head in response. "They wanted to ask if they could live with me. They didn't want to live with Cathy anymore Liv. They couldn't live with her anymore, the way that she had been acting, she had made it impossible to live with her any more. The constant mood swings, the way that she would interrogate them when they went out after school or on weekends."

She stilled as she listened to Elliot. The tears still flowing, but now they were not all for her, now she also cried for the hell that they had all been living through.

"The kids hadn't told me everything that had been going on when I saw them. They hadn't wanted to make things worse, but they had gotten to the point where they couldn't take it anymore. They never knew what kind of mood Cathy would be in when they got home, or what would set her off. The final straw for the kids was when she hit Lizzie hard enough to leave a bruise."

Olivia gasped.

"Remember the phone call I got from Maureen that Friday morning? Apparently Cathy had been telling the kids what they could and couldn't do on their weekend with me. When Lizzie had said that she couldn't wait for me to pick them up that evening Cathy lost it and had hit her. Maureen had been about to leave for school so she had gathered the other three up and asked her friend to drop them all at school. Maureen was afraid of leaving the rest of them in the house with their mother."

"So when we got the call, the first thing we were all worried about was you Liv. Only you, not Cathy."

Olivia felt overwhelmed by the emotions that swamped her.

"So never doubt that any of us care about you, we all love you Olivia Benson, and I don't know what we'd do if we lost you."