046. Life
Nothing
She enjoys life more than you do.
She stole that kiss from Chase. What have you done lately?
House lounged on his couch and swirled the scotch around in the glass. Those three statements from Wilson kept coming back to him again and again, swirling around in his mind like the scotch in his glass.
She enjoys life more than you do.
House snorted. That one was no surprise. Everyone enjoyed life more than he did. Life for him was painful and difficult. He grimaced as he took a drink. That wasn't entirely true. He knew half his problems were of his own making. His anger and bitterness were his own choice but they helped. They helped him get up when his leg hurt in the morning. They helped him think when the drugs slowed his thought processes. Besides life occasionally had its moments. He refused to think about the fact that most moments came in the company of James Wilson.
She stole that kiss from Chase. What have you done lately?
What had he done lately? He'd gone on that disastrous date with Cameron. He'd drifted around Stacy. He'd avoided thinking about Wilson entirely.
But the thing was Cameron was never going to work. They were too different and she liked him for all the wrong reasons. He'd almost believed that she might be worth taking a chance with until she'd told him about her dead husband. Then all he'd wanted to do was stay as far away from her as possible. He hadn't been entirely sure about the source of her need and her desire to fix everybody but when he'd finally found out, he'd instantly known why she liked him. And that was not how he wanted to be wanted.
Stacy. He freely admitted to himself that her reappearance had conjured up a whole swath of mixed emotions. It had been bad enough when Wilson had missed a night of monster trucks to have dinner with her. That news had caused a flinch or two but he'd been able to push it aside easily enough. But to see her again had…hurt. Yes, it had hurt and just for a moment he'd hoped. Hoped that she was back for him. But she wasn't, for all of her mixed feelings she wasn't back for him. And that hurt even more because part of him still loved her as much as another part hated her. He snorted into his glass at that thought. It was probably the most blatant sign that rekindling that relationship wouldn't work when he hated as much as he loved.
What have you done lately?
Not much, he admitted to himself with a sigh. Not much. But he wanted to. He wanted to do more than steal a kiss but he couldn't. Because he wanted to steal a kiss from the wrong person. He wanted to steal a kiss from his best friend. His only friend, really. Wilson. He wanted to kiss and be kissed by Wilson. He wanted more from Wilson. He wanted so much from Wilson.
But Wilson had Julie.
And he had nothing.