012. Orange

Gone Fishing

Wilson walked into House's office and blinked. "House, your hand is…orange!"

House looked up from the journal he'd been reading then gave his hand an interested look as though he'd never seen it before.

"I would have said it was more yellow than orange," he said idly before turning back to the journal.

Wilson stared at him for a moment then walked over and sat down.

"Why is your hand orange…or yellow?" he asked as calmly as he could.

House tossed the journal onto his desk and leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful expression.

"Just one of life's mysteries, I suppose."

"Your hand just turned orange overnight?" Wilson said dubiously.

"It was that way when I woke up this morning," House replied rather blandly.

"What did you do last night?" Wilson demanded.

House shrugged, looking completely unconcerned. "Went home, made dinner, watched TV, went to bed."

"Have you…seen someone about it?" Wilson asked, his surprise now turning to concern. "I think Kelso's the best of the dermatologists here."

House frowned. "Why would I do something like that?"

"House! Your hand is orange!" Wilson yelped.

"I still say it's more yellow than orange," House observed, holding his hand up and looking at it curiously.

"What does it matter what colour it is?" Wilson demanded. "Your skin has turned a different shade than what it should be. You have some kind of dermatological problem."

"Really?" House said with apparent surprise. "I'm sure it'll go away."

Wilson stared at House in exasperation. "You don't know that. It could be something serious."

House gave him a quizzical look in return. "Well, I'll admit it's a bit unsightly but I don't think you can be seriously hurt by saffron and turmeric, can you?"

Wilson froze for a moment. "What?"

"Saffron. Turmeric," House said, a wicked gleam growing in his eyes. "I was cooking a curry last night. Dropped a teaspoon in it and had to go fishing for the damn thing. I forgot the kind of effect saffron and turmeric can have on the skin." He eyed his stained hand again. "Looks a bit garish, doesn't it?"

Wilson stared at House in disbelief for a moment. "Bastard," he breathed, vacillating between relief and the desire to throw something very solid at House's head.

"I've always thought I was more of a jerk really," House mused. "Mostly because I'm fairly sure my parents were married before I was born."

"You know I'm going to get you for this?" Wilson said fervently.

House grinned. "Bring it on, Jimmy."