Harry had awoken from his bed, and somehow teleported into Hogwarts, and looked around to see everyone. He walked into the Gryffindor common room, and saw two funny-looking girls named, Garima and Beth. They were both eating a chocolate frog, but they actually weren't because they did not want to kill the frog by eating it. So, they named their frogs Michael, and Lucero. Harry stared at them as if they were mad!
Hermione Granger walked down into the common room, and was talking to the two as if they were the best friends in the whole world. "Hey guys!" said Hermione. "Wanna listen to Kal ho naa ho with us?" asked Garima. "You mean like, Tomorrow may never come? Sure!" said Hermione. Beth felt stupid and left out because she thought that she thought she was the dumbest out of her friends. Annoying Ron Weasley walked in, and said that Dumbledore was washing his car, but Dumbledore didn't have a car, so he was petting his cat, but he doesn't have a cat, so he was eating food, but didn't have any food. Suddenly, Beth realized that the dumbest wizard was... DUMBLEDORE!!!
Later, they went to the Great Hall for Lunch, but there was no food because Dumbledore had no sickles nor galleons for food, so he gave them all a piece of paper! Beth, Garima, and Hermione were all smart, and did not want to starve like the rest of everyone else, so they brought a leaf with them, a tasty leaf, and they ate it. "EVERYONE! Sorry I am so retarded, I forgot to get money from the bank, But my nephew here, Ganu, has only 1 sickle, so he can only get enough food for himself, like a piece of lettuce or something... an olive, tomato, whatever. So, everyone can sit here and watch him eat. YAY you guys!!!" Said Dumbledore. Ganu stared at his uncle like he was a basilisk of some sort.
"You speak parselmouth, uncle?" asked Ganu. Dumbledore farted, then ran off of the stairs, and tripped over Livi, a Slytherin girl who despised Malfoy, and threw somehow, applesauce at him. He snorted. Ganu got even more scared, and wished he could run out of Hogwarts, but he couldn't, but GANU despised the potions teacher, Shahrukh Khan. A.K.A., SRK.
SRK got up, and spoke to everyone. "Peoples, since I am more highly intelligent than Dumbledore the poor, I am rich, and I will order Dominos pizza, but no one can get into the gate, so screw that! But, I am still more highly intelligent, and I will unlatch the gate so that Mr. Pizza man can get through the gate! So, who wants pizza?" asked SRK. Royce Main stood up, and said aloud, "Ooh, ooh, I want Timbuktu flavored, but that doesn't exist, but it does in my head!" SRK raised an eyebrow, then told the young Slytherin, Royce Main, and said, "Well, inside of your head does not exist inside of Dominos Pizza now, does it... hmm... Ganu, you despise me, and so I despise you!" Ganu grunted, and the professor and the kid got into a huge fight, and were at each other's faces. Garima stood up, walked over to them, took out her wand, then pointed it at Ganu, and said, "Still in motion." Then, Ganu was frozen solid. SRK patted her on the back, and Garima fainted, then got up in one second, and ran to the Gryffindor table.
After the Pizza Man delivered his pizza, he ran away, because he thought that Snape looked like a deformed carrot with meatballs on top. So... next starts chapter 2, and this was chapter 1: Ganu and Dumbledore.
Chapter 2: Voldemort's apprentice
Beth and Garima were in the common room, and spotted Hermione and left her behind and ran to the forbidden forest. Anyways, Garima thought Beth was running slow so she said " BLAH!"And said "Hurry up or the bad creatures will get you." Beth got so scared that she started running 75 mph. Then Beth ran into Voldemort and told him to "SHOO, or I'll cast flipendo on your boots. Oh, wait...you don't have any boots, unless they are invisible." By then, Voldemort got so tired and thought that girl was so stupid, that instead of killing her, he says, "Ooooohhhhhh"faint. So, of course, Garima was the smart one and said, "Let's kill him." Then Beth said, "You weird Garima, we can just take him to Hogwarts, because he's almost dead." Then Garima said,"Duh, Beth... that's kind of what I was going to say." Then, Beth and Garima took him to Hogwarts.
Ron was outside, planting, and crying like a laughing, and a dying cow. Beth asked, "What is wrong?" Ron answered, "Dumbledore died, but as you can tell, I..." His words got cut off by Garima saying, "Yeah, we didn't much care about him, because he is dumb, not to mention rude, and he was probably taken, and no one cares what you think about Dumbledore... because... hi!" Then, Garima took Beth, and the two saw Voldemort move his head a little to the left, and so they kicked him hard at the same time, and then he fainted again.
They made it into the Mcgonagall's office, and threw him at her, and ran off, and so she never knew who threw him at her, so she screamed like a mutated alien-girl, and ran out of her office, flapping her arms like a bird, and ran into Garima and Beth. "VOLDEMORT IS IN THE CASTLE, SO WE MUST JOURNEY OFF, ALL THREE OF US, YOU GUYS WARN THE OTHER GRYFFINDOR STUDENTS, AS I WILL WARN THE PROFESSORS AND THEN WE WILL GET OUT OF HERE, AND CLOSE HOGWARTS, AND GO SOMEWHERE ELSE TO LEARN MAGIC, AND... AND... AND..." Mcgonagall was yelling with a worried look in her eyes, and didn't take a single breath and so Garima said, "Whoa, lady, take a breath and see what happens, Voldemort is stupid, just kick him every five minutes, and he won't hurt you, we thought we killed him, and so we wanted to give the murderer a funeral, but seeming that everyone hates his guts, then I guess we'll just leave him in your office... with all of your memories... and all of your stuff... and your wand..." So then Mcgonagall stopped and thought, and then said, "Wow, you are so right, ok then, let's go back to my office, defeat him, be famous, and leave him in the garbage can." So with those words, they wandered back into her office, defeated Voldemort, and put him into the garbage can.
Mcgonagall looked as if she were famous, and Beth said, "Um, lady, we found him, so we get the credit, you fraud! Well, you get 2 of the 100 credit, because we each get 49 of the credit!" Mcgonagall pouted, and said, "Since you guys defeated him, then you guys... I will award, FIVE MILLION POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!!!" All of the Gryffindors were walking by to hear her say the thing about the points, and everyone found out what they did, so they went down into Hogwarts history, and become so famous, that they were even more famous then Harry Potter, which made him glad that not so many people drawed attention to him. Ron and Hermione were also so happy, and did not know WHY they were so happy, but they WERE happy!
Hogwarts express was departing, so everyone sat in a compartment, and Garima, Beth, Hermione, Harry, and Ron all sat by each other, but Beth and Garima got so sick of Ron talking about Quidditch, that they left, and went to sit by Cho Chang, who was more than delighted to see them, so they left again, so they, for some psychotic reason, sat by Malfoy, who was stupid, and also very delighted to see them, so they exchanged glances, shrugged, and then sat by him, and that ended the story!