Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off lawyers!
Matt awoke to Peach snuggling up closer.
Matt: Man, I slept good. 10 times in one night, that's enough to even tire me out.
Matt then heard crying.
Matt, waking Peach: Peach, we might want to leave before Tails cries about how Sonic won't accept his love.
Peach: WHAT?
Matt: I mean, let's go get breakfast.
Peach: I need something clean to wear.
Matt: Then go get it!
Peach: I'm not running in the halls naked.
Matt: Why not, I would?
Peach: It's not the same for girls. I need something clean to wear, now!
Matt: Why can't you just put on the one you had yesterday?
Peach: I can't wear the same thing 2 days in arow! What will the others think?
Matt just starred at her with a "you're a fucking moron" look on his face.
Peach: Right, all video game/ cartoon characters wear the same thing. But still, you cummed all over that dress in time 9. It's completely white now!
Matt: So?
Peach, VERY angry: NEVER ASSOCIATE ME WITH NURSE PEACH AGAIN! OR MY FOOT WILL MEET YOUR NUTS!
Matt: Like how they did in time 4?
Peach: No, like kicking you in the nut's.
Matt, depressed: It's never like in time 4.
Peach: Stop being a such a big baby.
Matt: Ok, ok. How about you wear my street clothes?
Peach: Ok, those will do.
Matt and Peach got dressed and went down for breakfast.
Megaman: Hey! They're finally up!
Megaman went up for a high five, but the second the hands collided Megaman's blaster went off, burning Matt's hand.
Matt: OH GOD! YOU FUCKING SUCK DUDE!
Megaman: Sorry, I don't have any control over it.
Matt: I fucking hate you dude!
Matt then looked around the room and noticed that a lot of the guys were tired.
Matt: What's wrong with you, Mario?
Mario: YOU 2-A KEPT ME UP-A ALL NIGHT!
Matt, rubbing his head: Yeah, sorry about that.
Zelda slid over closer to Matt, her hand sliding her hand down to his crotch.
Zelda: I heard that you, like, really know how to, like, make a woman happy.
Matt, liking what was happening: From who?
Zelda: From, like, the room across from me?
Matt: Wait, aren't you the...
Zelda put her finger up against his lips. She pointed to the other Triforce characters.
At the Triforce trio,...
Wind Waker Link: Argh! He be muscling in on our girl! I ain't be switchin' to the poopdeck entrance!
Ganondorf: I say we open a temporary truce, eh?
Link: Fine, until Matt is out of the picture.
Wind Waker Link: Argh! Deal, it be!
Ganondorf: Deal, eh.
Back at pleasure center, a.k.a. Matt's seat,...
Matt: And so I said to him, That's not my Yoshi, it's my wife!
The table burst out in laughter.
Mario: Hey-a Matt! We are all out of Parmesan-a Cheese! Go to the store and-a pick some up.
Matt: THE STORES 6 HOURS AWAY! CAN'T YOU WAIT 5 MINUTES FOR MASTER HAND TO MAKE IT APPEAR OUT OF THIN AIR?
Mario: Frankly, no-a. Take-a my Yoshi.
Mario threw a set of keys at Matt.
Matt, holding the keys: Ooookkkkkkkk.
Matt then went out to the garage. He saw Yoshi sleeping.
Matt: Since when do we have a garage?
Matt, The Author: Since it became important to the plot.
Matt: Oh.
Matt then tried to wake up Yoshi, but noting work.
Matt, holding the keys: I wonder,...
Matt then shoved the key up Yoshi's ass.
Yoshi: Yo, yo, yoyo SHI!
Matt then got on Yoshi's back and rode him down the road.
Yoshi: My name is Yoshi, I live in the bronks, I shot down some Koopa ass, and killed a lot of cops!
Matt, hitting Yoshi on the head with a hammer: What else is on?
Yoshi: I'm so sorry, Birdo. My Goomba was hit by a car. I just want your sweet honky tonk.
Matt, hitting him again: I hat country.
Yoshi: I rape little boys, when they're in their beds. I do them up the ass, and make them give me head!
Matt, hitting him again: AH! POP!
Yoshi: Praise God, or he will smite your ass! He'll plague you with locustes, until you worship his name.
Matt, hitting him again: Man, Christian Rock has gotten lazy.
Yoshi: I am Yoshiman! Nuna, nuna, nuna, Yoshiman!
Matt: Eh, it's ok.
Matt then rode Yoshi to the store, he went inside and grabbed the cheese, then walked out, noticing a group of people around Yoshi.
Xzibit: What is up with this Yoshi?
Matt: What are you talking about?
Xzibit: Is this your Yoshi?
Matt: Kind of, borrowing from a friend.
Xzibit: Take us too him, NOW!
Matt then rode back to the house.
Matt: Hey everyone!
DK: Where have you been, chap? You've missed your match.
Matt: Damn. Where's Mario?
DK: In the kitchen, old bean. Good Day, I'm retiring to my room for a jolly good read!
Mario: What-a is it?
Matt, tossing him the cheese: I got the Parmesan, and these guys gotta tell you...
Xzibit: Mario, we're here to PIMP YOUR YOSHI!
Mario: Oh-a my god! That-a is sweet!
Xzibit: This show normally takes about a day, but we had such a long limo ride we did it on the way. Come out and see.
Mario: Oddlay-baeloo, Odala-baloo!
Outside,...
Xzibit: We pimped out this Yoshi with gold-plated shoes, spinners on the shoes, diamonds on the teeth, leopard-skin saddle, booming megaphone attached to the mouth, and a rocket launcher attached to the mouth.
Mario: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT LAST ONE?
Xzibit: Uh,... kittens? RUN! Here's the bill!
Mario was then handed the bill and left in the dust of the speeding limo.
Mario: How-a much can it be-a?
Mario then looked down at the bill.
Mario: FUCK!
Mario then fainted.
Matt, stepping over Mario's body: I wonder what's for dinner.
Matt then grabbed some food and went to bed.
Nothing much to say, except REVIEW! For gods sake, you fucking retards! REVIEW! REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps!