Matt here: Just enjoy and review! I like pie! Meeps!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off China, get over your tiny-penised selves!
Matt awoke to hitting a magically flying platform.
Matt, rubbing his head: Where the fuck are we?
Master Hand: You couldn't just stay at the mansion and fight, could you?
Matt: What the fuck are you talking about, Master Hand?
Master Hand: We're really a giant illegal tournament that uses the dead contestants bodies' organs to fund are cocain circuit, ... and we sell the footage of the fights to PBS.
Matt, angry: YOU FUCKING BASTERDS! PBS sucks!
Master Hand: Know that you know that, I can't let you live! GO MY PET! DESTROY THE NON-BELIEVERS!
Suddenly, a giant satanic version of Bowser jumped on to that platform and let out a bloodcurdling scream.
???, high pitched voices: Ohmygod! Thatbiglizardthingneedsahug! Let'sgivehimeone! Becausewe're... HUG PATROL!
The two "teenage" girls then jumped up and hugged the giant lizard o' doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!
Giga Bowser, glowing: No! Too... much... hyperactive ... LOVE!
Giga Bowser then exploded into a rainbow of multi-colored blood.
Kelly: Oui!
Kaddy: Yes! We helped another person... uh... lizard-thing through our hugs!
Matt: What the fuck are you talking about? You fucking killed him!
Kaddy: Someone sure is grumpy! You know what that means...
Kelly: ... Embrasser la Patriuille?
Kaddy: Hug Patrol!
Matt: SHIT!
The two teenagers charged at him, arms open, and at the last second, Matt stepped swiftly to the right, causing them both to smash into a giant invisible brick wall.
Matt, starring at the motionless bodies: Ya,... you might want to get someone to lean these up, they look dead.
Kelly, getting up: No, we're okay... I CAN SPEAK AUSTRAILIAN AGAIN!
Kaddy, getting up real fast, knocking Kelly down: WHAT?
Kelly: Je parle austrailian! Je parle... je ne parle pas austrailian.
Kaddy: Oh well, want some cocain?
Kelly, surprised: Pourqui?
Kaddy: I mean... uh... sugar.
Kelly: Oui!
Matt, holding a machine gun, wearing a mobster hat: Time to die bitches! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Matt then unloaded 10 clips into both of their bodies, splattering them up against the wall.
Matt: That takes are of that!
Kaddy, peeling herself off the wall: Ow! That hurt!
Kelly: Il est mechant!
Matt, taking out a chainsaw: Oh, I'll show you mechant!
Matt then chased after the two girls, swinging his chainsaw.
Kelly: Le AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (So not french!)
Master Hand: We can not allow this to continue! I'm calling Mother!
Peach, in a body cast: Haha! Momma's boy... hand... thing!
Master Hand: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU?
Peach: Matt was a little rough on the way over here, see he plunged his cock into my ear, then he shoved a cactus up my ass, while...
Master Hand, vomiting, don't ask me how he would vomit being a glove and all: TOO MUCH INFORMATION!
Master Hand then took out a cell phone a pressed the speed dial. At that very second a giant insect-y thing fell out of a time hole that magically appeared above Master Hand.
Insect-y Thing: What do YOU want Master Hand?
Master Hand: Giga Bowser is dead! We need to combine our powers, Mother Brain!
Matt, wearing a sombrero: El Gasp-o!
Mother Brain: Fine! We'll use you fucking retarded dead lizard's body!
Master Hand: Yes, Mother! ALL HANDS ON FINAL DESTIONATION!
Suddenly, Master Hand had Mother Hand, Mutated Hand, and Master Shoe surrounding him.
Master Hand: Combine!
Master Hand and Mother Hand then slide dead Giga Bowser's arms up their glove asses, while Mutated Hand and Master Shoe shoved his feet into their blowholes.
Matt: THE HORROR! GIGA BOWSER IS GOING TO PREFORM A BROADWAY MUSICAL! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mother Brain, sitting on top of dead Giga Bowser's head: You simpletons! We are going to fuse our powers together to become...
The mass of their bodies began to glow completely yellow as it shank to normal human size, grew a fro, and put on sunglasses.
???, glaring evilly: EVIL BOBOBO-BO BO-BOBO!
Matt, noticing that it looks exactly the same as the real BoBoBo-bo Bo-BoBo: What's so evil about... OH MY GOD HE HAS A GOATEE!
Evil BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo: Bwhahahahaha! You shall die by the hand of our EVIL Fist of the Nose Hair!
Evil BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo shot out two long stands of nose hair, which Matt easily caught.
Matt, eyes blazing: NO ONE! Insults my hero! Super Fist of the Blonde Hair: Fonzie Dance!
Matt was now suddenly wearing a black leather jacket with a really cool hair cut.
Matt, gun-pointing his fingers: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Matt then took out his comb and then brushed his hair with it.
Matt: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Evil BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo: What the fuck is he doing?
Matt then snapped his fingers, causing a giant crowd of fan girls to rush over to his side, trampling Evil BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo to death. Suddenly, the real BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo appeared.
BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo, wearing a trenchcoat: Ya done real good, kid. Yay, real good!
BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo then disappeared in a cocoon of nose hair. Suddenly, Frank, Matt the Author's, bless the very crap he writes, lawyer.
Frank: WHAT THE FUCK? This whole story is just one copyright infringement suit after another! Just fucking come up with your own damn stuff!
Matt: Shut up Frank!
Matt then took out the Sword of the Storm, as seen in Xaolin Showdown, and prepared to strike.
Frank: That's copyright...ed...(Sound of penis ripping off.)
Matt had slammed his sword right through Franks gut, killing him instantly.
Peach, fully healed: We're finally done! We can go home?
Kaddy: What? We have no place to go. :(
Kelly: Aucune foire ! Comment se fait-il que vous obteniez un visage frowny ?
Kaddy: Magic! I need some sugar after all that physic defying! I WISH WE COULD GO HOME WITH SOMEBODY? (Obviously implying something.)
Matt, sighing: Come on.
Kelly: Yay!
The two girls ran over to the group of Smashers.
Matt, pulling out a grenade: Time to go home!
Matt then threw it out the ground, sending the Smashers flying back to the mansion.
Kelly: Pourquoi juste n'avons-nous pas pris l'autobus ?
Matt, slapping his head: Fuck
REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps!