Dereliction of Duty
Chapter 6 – Filius Flitwick

I've never dared to join.

Oh, I knew about the Order of the Phoenix – where Albus, Minerva and later Severus disappeared to every time something terrible happened. I knew even before Albus invited me…

...the first time.

I never pretended to be anything more than a coward. I never pretended to be a warrior.

Maybe that's why I was taken down so easily when Snape betrayed us.

But that doesn't explain why I'm standing here.

Lily does.

Every time I refused Albus's invitation, every time I turned him away, I saw her face.

Every time I opened the newspaper to more deaths, disappearances, tragedies, I saw her funeral.

And that's before she died.

Then came Harry.

And then came the real guilt.

Guilt walked into my classroom one morning in early September, and when I read his name I fell.

Toppled right off my stack of books like a giddy fan.

Like someone who didn't know Lily Evans Potter.

There are so many stories, so many things I could have told him to help him know his mother, to help him feel that she still –

I have insulted her memory, betrayed my word more times than I can count.

And it stops now.

With a wave of my wand, I levitate myself until the upper shelves of my study are within my reach. Fondly, I recall my first day in these quarters, when Albus offered to shrink everything down to a more manageable level for me. Myself, I've never been one to expect the world to adjust to me. I adjust to the world.

And it is time that I do so.

Carefully, I lift the small wooden chest off of the shelf and lower myself to the ground, my fingertips idly tracing the delicate petals carved into the surface. This chest had never needed a label – not with the lilies carved into it. Not with the roses entwined around their stems.

Not with what lies inside.

Grabbing my cloak with my free hand, I make quickly for the door and rush up to Albus's – Minerva's, I recall with a sudden sadness – office. She will lead me to Grimmauld Place, I know it.

It is time that Harry knows. I have waited six years – Lily said I'd know when he was ready…

…it's been time enough.

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Cheers,
LIZ