AN: Happy AIDS Awareness Day to everyone! (Is happy the right word to use? I'm not sure.) I'm posting this chapter in commemoration.
I'm glad people liked the Roger With Blue Hair thing. That was actually an inside joke. Apparently, when Adam was performing at a place called The Elbow Room with his band, he really did dye his hair blue. Weird, but true.
"What are you doing here?!" Roger growled, marching up to Benny. "Can't I enjoy a vacation without having to deal with you?"
"For starters, Roger," Benny began. "I didn't even know you would be here. Besides, I'm perfectly at liberty to come with my wife and in-laws on a vacation. It's not just you who has that right. By the way. What did you do to your hair?"
"Oh, shut up!" Roger pulled Emily's Yankees cap farther down on his head, trying in vain to hide the blue color.
"Roger, please. Don't cause a scene," Mimi begged.
"Oh, now I get it!" Roger continued, feigning deafness. "Here I was thinking you left the heat on for us because you were actually trying to be nice. But you really weren't there to turn it off."
"Don't try and question my motives again, Roger, please," Benny frowned. "I just want to enjoy my vacation."
"Oh, well don't let us stop you. We wouldn't want to bother you from your duties as Muffy's little lapdog."
"For the last time, don't call her that!" At that moment, a loud squeal was heard. Seconds later, Wenceslas scampered into the room, his harness trailing behind him. He was pursued by the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel Mark and Emily saw Allison walking the day they had arrived.
"Someone stop that stupid mutt!" Emily appeared, chasing after the animals with Allison at her side. Roger made a dive for the dog as he ran by, but the little dog squirmed out of his grasp. Within seconds, Wenceslas was cornered against the cabinets in the salon where the spaniel began to attack the little pig. Emily crossed the room in an instant, shoving the dog aside roughly with her foot before scooping the pig up into her arms, protecting him from the attacking dog.
"How dare you kick my dog?" Allison shrieked, picking up the dog, glaring daggers at Emily.
"I wouldn't have had to kick him if you kept him under control!" Emily fired back. "If you can't keep your dog from hurting someone else's pet, you can't expect others to take it lying down!"
"Don't be ridiculous! Why would Gatsby bother touching your dirty…?"
"Oh, and what did that to Wenceslas!" Emily furiously pointed to the pig's snout and ear, which were bleeding. By now, Collins, Maureen, Joanne and Nana had appeared and joined Benny, Mark, Roger and Mimi in watching the fight.
"Who cares about a filthy little pig, anyway?" Allison snapped.
"This pig is probably ten times smarter then your little mutt."
"He is not a mutt! It just so happens that he has pedigrees that go way back to his grandparents."
"Allison," Benny stepped forward to try to calm his wife. "Please. Just try to calm down."
"Calm down? You expect me to let that little wench speak to me that way?"
"Forget it!" Emily shouted, turning to run out of the salon. "I don't have to defend myself to someone like you!"
"Emily," Mark groaned before going after her. Benny sighed, and after sending an apologetic look to the others, escorted Allison, who was now fawning over Gatsby, out of the salon as well. As Benny led Allison away, Maureen and Roger shared a glance. Their expressions stated clearly 'truce'.
A short time later, Mark, finding the door unlocked, walked into Emily's room to find the photographer on the bed, applying pressure to Wenceslas' ear to stop the bleeding.
"Is he okay?" Mark asked, walking over to the bed and sitting down next to his friend and her pet.
"Thankfully, it's only a few scratches," Emily replied without looking up from her task. "I tell you, if my father was still alive, I'd be thanking him for choosing not to raise me in the rich upbringing he was born into. If that's how I'd have turned out....." Mark remained quiet for a moment.
"Here," Mark said eventually, placing a bandage on Wenceslas' snout.
"Thanks for your help," Emily nodded, now applying ointment to Wenceslas' ear, which had stopped bleeding. Once again, the two sat in silence, until it was broken by Mark.
"Emily, about what you said earlier? About guys going for what you haven't got? You were wrong when you said I wouldn't understand. Don't forget I grew up with Roger. Even back in high school, he was the one all the girls went for. The only time a girl would talk to me was when they wanted me to introduce them to Roger or things like that. So you see, I do know how you feel. And, for what it's worth, I think that… any guy who'd just pass you off as just another girl...it's his loss. Not many people in this day and age would have the compassion to work in the Center. Or help some stranger who crashed his bike on the street." Emily smiled slightly, recalling their first meeting.
"Keep that talent of always knowing the right things to say, Mark, and I guarantee that any girl who'd bother to listen would see that you do have something to offer them."
That night, around midnight, Allison was asleep in her bed while Benny was having a late-night meeting with Mr. Grey. As she slept, the door slowly opened and Roger and Maureen poked their heads into the room.
"Lucky for us, Emily showed me how to pick locks after that incident with the handcuffs back when we first met her," Maureen grinned.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Roger waved impatiently. "Just keep your voice down, or she'll wake up. You have the stuff, right?"
"Right here," Maureen held up a paper grocery bag.
"Great. Well, let's get started."
Allison woke up suddenly to Benny's startled cry. The moment she opened her eyes, she let out a horrified shriek. The entire room was completely tented with toilet paper, and water-filled paper cups covered every inch of the floor. In the corner, Gatsby was shaking on a chair. His entire fur coat, from the neck down, had been completely shaved off, with a small muzzle secured around his mouth to keep him from barking. Allison stumbled from the bed, paying no attention to the numerous cups she was knocking over, and made a beeline for the closet for her bathrobe. The second she opened the closet door, she was overcome with an avalanche of brightly colored balloons. Allison continued to scream in aggravation, which brought everyone in the hall out of their rooms to see what was going on. Among the onlookers were Nana and the Bohemians.
"What on earth?" Joanne stared as a hysterical Allison stormed into view, with Benny trying to calm her down in vain. Seeing this, Roger and Maureen both tried, rather poorly, to fight back laughs.
"I know you had nothing to do with that," Mimi cast them a mock-angry glare, spotting this.
"Well, you didn't expect us to let her get away with chewing out Emily like that, especially when she didn't even do anything," Maureen reasoned.
"Oh, great. What did you do?" Mark moaned.
"Well, in any event," Collins shrugged. "I think it's safe to assume we've overstayed our welcome." With that, the group quickly returned to their rooms to prepare to leave on the double.
AN: I admit- I was laughing to myself while writing about that last big prank. Hoping it had the same effect on you.
Also, a little bit of trivia: can anyone guess the significance of Wenceslas' name? Honorable mention, and virtual pie in any flavor you wish, to anyone who can guess correctly.
Hint: The fact that he belongs to a Bohemian is important.