Chapter Seven: Apologies

Carth and Canderous avoided each other the remainder of the day. Opting to upgrade his blasters later, Carth headed back to the cockpit and relieved Juhani three hours early. Her angered look towards him didn't go unnoticed, and Carth wondered what he had done to her. Everyone seemed to be giving him dirty looks, Carth noticed as he sat down in the pilot chair. Mission gave him a strange look at lunch, Zaalbar stared at him, and now Juhani was staring daggers.

"Damn, T3," he whispered under his breath. Did the droid announce to the whole crew what he accidentally witnessed? Carth sighed and figured there was nothing he could do about it. Revan knew the truth. Canderous, he assumed, knew the truth. And if the subject came up during their talk, then Jolee knew the truth.

Does it really matter? Carth thought. Of course it does, he answered himself. Six people and two droids living together in close quarters for the next week and a couple days… Carth didn't care about whatever reputation the other thought he had. But Revan… He'd never take advantage of her, even though he almost did. Then again, he thought, it wasn't like she tried to stop him. If T3 hadn't beeped when he did, T3 might have had a lot more to report to the crew. Next thing they'd know, Canderous would be hackin' the utility droid lookin' for footage, and probably giving him pointers.

Carth let out a soft cry of frustration and tried hard not to think about it. He didn't care what the others thought of him. He only cared about what they thought of Revan. Although, he didn't recall anyone giving Revan dirty looks. Course, Carth wasn't exactly a former Sith who could threaten them with the history of his past. Carth sighed again and stared. He stayed like that for hours, just staring out the window…

"Carth?"

Carth turned in his chair and saw Mission standing in the doorway, holding a bowl in her hand. "Hi," he said.

Mission smiled slightly. "Hi. Um, you missed dinner." She stepped forward and handed Carth the bowl. "Jolee made this; I saved some for you."

Carth took the bowl from the young Twi'lek's hands. "Thanks, Mission," he said.

Mission nodded. "Jolee said it's Shadowland Stew. It's pretty good, but, uh, I wouldn't ask him what's in it if I were you."

Carth chuckled. "Don't worry, I won't." When Mission didn't give any sign of leaving, Carth asked her what was wrong.

"Nothin'," she quickly said.

"You're lying," Carth told her. She looked at him oddly. "I'm a parent, remember?"

Mission sighed. "I… I was just… I mean. I heard about you and Canderous. Well, I mean, I heard HK's version. And Canderous isn't talkin'; Big Z tried. I just… I was just curious as to what happened, you know?"

Carth contemplated telling her, decided it was a bad idea, then figured that if he didn't tell her she'd pester him until he did. "Canderous… said some… inappropriate things about Revan… and me," he explained. "When I… in a way asked him to stop, he continued, and I slugged him."

"Inappropriate things about you and Revan? What did he—Oh." Mission's face flushed to an embarrassed shade of purple. If it was anything like the breakfast conversation, then Mission could pretty much guess why Carth slugged him. "Well… Well then, he deserved it," she said with an approving nod.

Carth smiled. "I thought so, too."

Awkward silence filled the cockpit. Mission looked at Carth with a look of uncertainty, like she was trying to figure something out. Carth closed his eyes. He kept repeating to himself that she was only fourteen and how awkward the conversation was in the first place. But he also knew what she was thinking.

"I'd never take advantage of Revan, Mission."

Mission's cheeks went from embarrassed-purple to out-right-shocked-purple. "Oh, I-I-I-I," she stuttered. "I, I wasn't… I mean…"

It was the first time Carth had ever seen Mission out-right speechless. If the topic wasn't so grave, he probably would have laughed. "It's okay," he told her.

Mission looked like she had bitten more than she could chew. "I, uh, think I hear Big Z," she fumbled. "Uh, enjoy your dinner, Carth." She turned tail and exited the cockpit.

Carth softly chuckled to himself. "Still just a kid," he softly said.

He examined the contents of Jolee's Shadowland stew and gave it a gentle smell. It smelled okay, but Carth had never had green stew before. He was starving, he had to admit. And if Carth got up and headed to the kitchen to exchange the stew for something else… Carth decided just to eat it and have it done with. He hesitantly brought a spoonful of the stew to him lips and ate it.

"Hmm… Not bad," he softly said, licking some of the stew off his lips. But Mission was right; he didn't want to know what it was Jolee had put in—

Jolee. Did that mean he and Revan were done talking? Dammit, he should have asked Mission. Carth checked the clock and saw in less than an hour Canderous would be coming to relieve him. He'd find out then. Carth went back to eating the stew.

Carth felt two hands gently rest on his shoulders. "What in the galaxy did you say to Mission that turned her into a purple Twi'lek?" a voice whispered into his right ear.

Carth smiled. "Nothin', Gorgeous," he replied.

"Uh huh," Revan said. "I don't believe you for a minute."

Carth shrugged. "She wanted to know what me and Canderous were fighting about, so I told her as… as non-descriptive as I could."

"And that's when she turned purple?"

"Eh, more or less."

Revan lightly kissed his right cheek. "What am I going to do with you, flyboy?"

Carth decided to push his luck. "Canderous had some interesting ideas we could invest in."

Revan rolled her eyes. "Just finish your dinner."

Carth smiled and took another spoonful of the stew. "So how did you and Jolee make out?"

Revan raised an eyebrow. "Given the current rumors about me and you, think you outta rephrase that question?"

Carth choked on his dinner.

Revan grinned and stepped to Carth's side, leaning against a control panel, careful not to hit any buttons. "We talked my visions and dreams through," she answered. "We meditated on the meanings, we meditated on what the Force was trying to tell me, we discussed why these visions are coming to me, and what might trigger them."

"Jolee knows a lot about this topic?" Carth asked.

Revan shook her head. "Not really, but he knows more than I do. And between the two of us, we're… we're looking for a way to… a way for me to work through them."

Carth looked at her, skeptical.

"Once… Once this mission is over," Revan said. "Then… Well, then only the Jedi Council can help. But for… for right now, this is the best we can do. Jolee… Jolee knows a lot more than he leads on, let me say that."

"I hope it works," Carth said.

"It's better than nothing," she answered.

Revan looked distant again. Carth put his stew down on the floor then reached over and took Revan's hand in his. "Rev?"

"Huh?—Sorry," she said. "Just… thinking."

Carth gestured for her to have a seat on his lap, which she did without hesitating. She sat sideways on his lap, resting her head on his left shoulder. "What're you thinking about?" he asked, tucking her head under his chin.

Revan paused. "Jolee… Jolee thinks that I'm unconsciously reminded of things I did as Darth Revan. Like, I don't know, you walk into this cockpit and you suddenly think of the first time you learned how to fly a ship." She paused again. "Jolee thinks that maybe that's what's happening to me. When I came out of the shower last night, I looked at my cot and for some reason I thought of Darth Revan's quarters on the Star Forge. I… I could see the room. Then… Then you found me naked on the floor."

"But that was just the one dream," Carth said.

Revan shook her head no. "I've… I've had other, similar memories come back."

Carth's brow furrowed. "You did? Why didn't you tell me!"

"They… They happened on Korriban."

Carth closed his eyes. That's why she didn't tell him.

Revan continued. "They happened when I was in the tomb of Naga Sadow. When I was walking through the halls, I had a memory surface of when Malak and Darth Revan walked the halls. I… I don't know how long I laid there crying before I finally stood up and finished the test." She shook her head. "I had others…"

"When you were sleeping," Carth said. "The night before your test." She looked up at him. "I… I watched you thrash in your sleep," he admitted. "I'm sorry, I was just so angry—"

She placed two fingers over his lips, silencing him. "We've already talked about that," Revan said. "But… But no, I'm just worried that… that I'll have another if not more visions once we're at the Star Forge. You… You don't need me passing out in the middle of a battle."

"I'll be there in case anything happens," he said. When Revan gave him another odd look, he answered, "You don't think I'm gonna sit inside the Hawk the entire time and let you take home all the glory yourself?" Revan didn't smile. Carth tried again. "I made a promise to protect you, Revan. I'm going to be there with you."

Revan slowly nodded. "I know." She reached out and brushed the two locks of hair away from his brow and smiled when they fell back. "Those locks are just as stubborn as you are," she softly said.

"It's part of being an Onasi."

Revan giggled. She leaned over and kissed the top of his nose.

"You missed," Carth said.

Revan grinned. "Then lemme try that again." She closed her eyes and gently kissed him. Carth responded.

"Uh, I hope I'm not—"

Revan jumped and banged her forehead against Carth's.

"—interrupting anything."

Carth and Revan turned and saw Canderous standing in the doorway. Carth opened his mouth to say something, but Canderous raised his hand. "Look," the Mandalorian mercenary said, "I'm not… not going to say anything." He took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling. "What you two do on your own time is no one's business."

Carth raised an eyebrow. Canderous said that line like it was rehearsed.

"And what else?"

Carth's brow wrinkled. Was that Jolee in the hall?

"I… I apologize," Canderous said like a child forced to make an apology.

"For?" Jolee called.

Canderous turned around. "Come off it, Old Man! I'm workin' on it here!"

Revan hid a giggle.

Canderous grumbled. "I apologize to you, Revan, for what I… implied." He looked at Carth and wrinkled his nose. "And I apologize to you, Carth, for… what I said."

"And what else?" Jolee asked.

Canderous closed his eyes and issued another rehearsed line. "And it won't happen again." He grunted. "Will you accept my apology?"

Carth looked at Revan. "I dunno. What do you think?" he asked.

Canderous sneered. "Mandalorians don't apologize. So accept it already."

Revan looked at Canderous with her bright eyes. "You don't truly believe you did anything wrong."

Canderous said nothing. Revan just stared. Canderous caved. "I… I really do apologize to you, Revan. I… I was disrespectful of your privacy."

Carth raised an eyebrow. That certainly sounded sincere and not spoon-fed by Jolee.

Revan nodded. "Apology accepted."

Canderous sighed in relief.

Revan turned back to Carth. "C'mon, flyboy," she said, standing up. "Canderous's turn. And I haven't eaten anything yet."

Carth gathered his stew bowl, then stood up and followed as Revan exited the cockpit. Carth looked in Canderous's direction. The Mandalorian turned his nose up at the Republic Commander. Carth just smiled and walked away.