Chapter 16

Lulu and Dillon were cruising across the lake on a boat owned by Edward.

Lulu laughed as the wind whipped her hair and Dillon smiled at her and made silly faces.

He said, "Grandfather would kill us if he knew we borrowed this."

"Stole, Dillon. We stole this boat and it feels great! I missed doing stuff like this."

Dillon loved seeing this look on her face. She was like a wild horse who had broken free from someone who tried to pen her in.

Was he the one who took this look off her face last year? Or just the pregnancy? The baby that never would be.

The smile slid from his face and he looked away. He concentrated on steering the boat.

His mind filled with the picture of the baby from the newspaper. The one someone had tossed away. If only that was his daughter he would never have left her that way.

It must have been some teenager. Someone feeling like Lulu did last fall.

Suddenly a thought came to his mind... but it couldn't be. He turned and looked at Lulu.

She winked at him, the image of young and free. Childless.

Dillon studied her features.

She's so lovely. She couldn't have... Dillon thought She couldn't have had our baby and left her in the park.

Lulu made her way over to him. She said, "You sure you know how to control this thing?"

"Yeah."

"Then punch it, Dil. I want to see how fast this baby can go."

Dillon pushed his crazy thoughts out of his head, attributing it wishful thinking on his part. At least his child would be alive if that baby in the park was his. But, he felt, Lulu wouldn't do something like that.

And he increased the speed he realized he only felt this free with her.

And Lulu realized she hadn't felt this happy since last summer.

Maxie walked into Kelly's after another AA meeting. She didn't tell the truth when she told her story to the other people there.

Her truth , about her time in New York, was too much. Too horrific to say aloud. It was filled with nights with no where to sleep but her car or abandoned building, with parties that never seemed to end- even a week later when they were long past being any fun, with a man who never said I love you but wanted to have sex with her everyday, with other men who she tried to find comfort in, with ugly, ugly things that made her shiver to this day.

Max was sitting at the counter. When he saw her he said, "Hey, M. J. I was hoping you would come home soon. "

Maxie smiled. Max was the one bright spot in her life. He stopped by every day to buy her a meal, make her laugh, and just check in on her. He made her feel like someone who deserved to be taken care of. He was the only one on earth who felt that way. Even she didn't think she deserved love or kindness.

"Hey, Max."

He heard the sadness in her voice. "You okay?"

She sat next to him on the stool. She usually tried to stay in her room or only go out late at night, when she wouldn't run into her family. But today she just didn't care.

The struggling to not drink had exhausted her. The alcohol was all that made her able to not think and now, thanks to her so called friend Lea who was camping out in a sleeping bag in Maxie's room, she didn't have anyway to numb herself anymore.

She looked at Max. Maybe he could make her forget for a while. She placed her hand on his thigh, gave him her sexiest look and said, "You want to make me feel better? Take me somewhere we can be alone."

"M.J." he said softly, tempted but with a warning in his voice

Maxie leaned over and whispered in his ear, "I need to be held, please."

Max nodded, slipped his hand in hers and they left Kelly's.

Robin was on emotional overload when Jax came over to baby sit. He could hear the sound of Angel crying from the hallway.

When Robin opened the door, she was holding the baby. Without a word she walked away, murmuring "It's okay, sweetie," to try and calm her child.

Robin said to Jax "Isabella has been like this since I picked her up from daycare. I haven't even been able to get ready for my date yet."

"Is she sick?"

"Not feverish. I think she is just cranky. Poor girl." Robin kissed her forehead. The baby still wailed.

"You go get ready and I'll hold her for a while."

Robin smiled gratefully. And when she came back the baby was cooing instead of crying.

"You're a miracle worker." Robin said smiling.

She joined them on the couch and said "She's perfect, isn't she? Even when she's crying. Isabella needs so much though and I just hope I can give it to her."

"You can, Robin."

"Not alone, I can't. I know what it feels like when your Dad is not in your life. The first few years of mine I didn't have one and it was a gaping hole. Every kid needs a father. She needs a father. Jax... is your offer still good? Do you want her?"

"Are you saying you are going to give her up?" Jax asked shocked

"No! Don't even say that where she can hear you." Robin stroked her daughters few strands of hair and said "No one is taking you from your mama, baby girl."

"Sorry. What are you proposing Robin?"

Robin met his eyes. "Would you be the father of my daughter?"

Jax tilted his head. Awed, he breathed out "Are you serious?"

"I've known you for a long time. I know you would never hurt her. And like me you have longed for a child you wondered if you would ever have. You wanted her once. Do you still?"

"Yes."

"So you think we could do this together?"

"As in what? Live together?"

"No, no, Patrick would not go for that! But we would both adopt her and share custody. She needs a dad. One who puts her first, never leaves and treats her like a princess."

"Can't Patrick do that?"

"Yes and I hope he will, one day, as her step dad. But he told me to not count on that. I think... Jax, I pray he comes around and wants to go for it. To marry me and be with us for life. But I have to take him at his word right now. He isn't ready and she can't wait. She lost enough already. She needs to know she had a mom and dad today, not someday."

"Robin, " Jax said "are you sure you want me to be the one? Her dad?"

"Don't feel pressured."

"I feel honored." He looked down and locked eyes with the baby. "I'm your dad."

Robin smiled. She knew this was a unconventional but she also felt both her and Jax could do right by this little girl together.