Chapter 18

Patrick phoned Robin a few times in the hours since he got off work but she didn't pick up her cell phone. Finally, worried that her car crashed on the way home and her and Izzy were in a ditch somewhere, he called Lainey.

She answered, her voice professional, "Dr. Lainey Winter speaking?"

"Is Robin home?"

"Oh, hi, Dr. McHottie. Yep, your girlfriend is here. She's feeding Isabella. Hold on."

Patrick's whole body relaxed. For the minutes he couldn't locate robin it felt like his life was hanging on the edge of a cliff. If Robin and Isabella were gone he might as well not be here either.

Suddenly, an image flashed through his mind of his mom. How she waited up till he got home when he was a teenager. How she needed him to be okay for her to sleep.

Soon Robin's voice filled the line.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Patrick asked

"Sorry. I was meaning to call you back."

Something in her voice was off.

He asked, "Are you mad at me? What did I do? I swear that nurse hit on me. Not the other way around."

"Patrick." She cut him off, sighed, and said "I'm not mad. And what nurse?"

"Hmm. Oh, no one. Then what is it?"

"We need to talk."

Dread filled his body, down to every nerve ending. He knew what those four words meant.

And then he started falling off the cliff.

Robin asked, "Can you come over right now?"

"Yeah."

The line went dead. Patrick spit out a curse word.

Maxie was leaving her AA meeting, walking down front street, when a car horn beeped and she heard her name being called.

She turned and saw the car slow down and then stop at the curb near her.

Diego said, through the rolled down window, "Get in. We have to talk."

"Not today." Maxie said and started walking again

The car rolled next to her. "I kept your secret but if you don't talk to me that could change."

Maxie turned and gave him a nasty look. She stomped over and climbed into the sports car.

"Is this stolen?" she snarked at him

"Is that any way to talk to the man keeping you from a prison sentence?"

"I wasn't driving that car! Kyle was and he is dead so tell who ever you want about him killing that man. I'm not responsible for that." But her eyes filled with tears because inside she felt like a murderer. Or at least a willing accomplice. It was her partying that put them on that road, Kyle driving her car drunk, that morning last year.

"It wasn't your fault, Maxie." Diego said, his voice kind. "That's why I never ratted on you. You had enough problems already being hooked up with Kyle Radcliffe. Did that loser boyfriend get you in more trouble after you left town?"

"We both did things...yeah, okay, it got ugly in New York. You're right? Happy now?"

"Of course not. I was worried as hell about you while you were gone. And I can see that you are not doing well now either. Was that a AA meeting you just walked out of?"

"How would you know that?"

"I have a friend you goes to that meeting sometimes."

Maxie hung her head. "I'm not an alcoholic, if that is what you are thinking."

He reached out to touch her arm but she recoiled from his gentle gesture and jumped out of the car.

"Don't feel sorry for me!" she yelled "I'm fine!" And then she ran off. Diego tried to follow her but a traffic jam made it impossible.

Patrick walked into Robin's apartment feeling like he was going to the electric chair. But he wouldn't go down without a fight.

I love you! he silently screamed at her. You can't leave me when I love you!

Isabella cried. Robin started moving toward her when Patrick said, "Let me."

He picked up the infant and murmured soothing words. Oh my sweet Izzy. I can't lose you, he cried to himself.

What had he done to upset Robin? He couldn't figure it out. Was it the way he held back sometimes on saying I love you or I need you. Was it because he hadn't asked her to move in with him?

He thought, as he cuddled the baby closer, Maybe, I should have bought a house for her and Izzy. Yes, I should have done that. Damn! What a idiot. Well, I'll do that now. Today. Just, please God, don't take them from me.

"You're good with kids," Robin said softly

"Not really. I don't know the first thing about them." he met her eyes "But I can learn. Give me time. I'll catch up to you and Jax soon enough. I'll be a better sitter than even Georgie Jones. I can't let a teenage girl out do me in anything."

Robin laughed.

Laughter is good, he thought. But she looks sad, devastated actually. And scared. Oh no, it can't be. Not the HIV.

"You have all the time you need. Isabella and I aren't going anywhere." Robin said gently"That's why I asked you here. To tell you not to feel pressured to be an instant daddy anymore."

"I didn't." He walked over to her. The baby cooed.

"Of course you did. And that was my fault. I just knew she needed a father so badly. But I fixed that."She looked into his eyes. "I asked Jax to adopt her with me. To be her official father."

Patrick all but shouted, "You gave my daughter away?!"

The baby started to wail.

Maxie ducked into the first bar she saw and drank until the pain was numb.

A woman sat down next to her at the bar and said, in a dull voice, "I though that was you."

Maxie tried to focus on her: red hair, bloodshot eyes, smeared lipstick. "Aunt Bobbie?"

"Buy you another?" Bobbie motioned to the bartender, lifting two fingers.

Her shoulder rose and fell with the effort, a sigh escaped her, as if she was exhausted from the effort.

Maxie asked, "What are you doing here? Does my mom know I am in town? Were you two following me"

The bartender sat the drinks down and Bobbie guzzled hers.

Bobbie said, "I come here sometimes now. Not a lot. Sometimes. No one knows. They think I am coping. But, ha, yeah..." Her voice trailed off. Maxie gaped at her.

Then Bobbie spat out, "You keep your mouth shut 'bout seeing me and I'll do the same for you, got it?"

Maxie put her hand to her forehead and shook her head. This could not be right.

Bobbie reached for Maxie's drink. Maxie snatched it from her and said,"Bartender! Take this away. We're done."

Though Maxie felt woozy, seeing Bobbie like this was sobering her up fast.

"Let's get a cab and get out of here." Maxie said "Or I could call Lucas."

"You don't know?" Bobbie hissed at her "Selfish girl, you ran off and hurt your mother and don't even know that my son is dead. Your cousin is dead, Maxie!"

Maxie visibly recoiled backwards. She breathed out, "How?"

"Last fall he was ran over by someone who didn't even stop and help him. They left my baby to die in the road like a dog." Bobbie started to cry.

Maxie spun away from her and threw up all over the floor. Then she stood and hurried out of the bar, clutching at chairs, table, walls, anything to study herself. On the street she sunk to the ground and cried for long minutes. No one came outside to check on her.

She was a broken, damaged young woman, she knew that. And she was all alone.

Robin said, "Your daughter? I didn't know you thought of her that way."

The babies cries pierced the air.

"Come to mama. Izzy. It's okay." Robin took her form Patrick's arms.

He walked over and sat down on the couch, feeling shaky. His vision blurred.

"I thought this would make you feel relieved, Patrick."

He blinked and focused on the two people he loved most in the world. Even himself and his father came after them on his list of who he needed to be safe and happy for his world to make sense.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," Robin said. "And you didn't lose anything. Really."

Softly he muttered, "How do you figure?"

Robin came and sat next to him. She took a deep breath. "Because one day you can become her stepfather. If you want that. If you choose us."

She looked at him, hope filling her eyes.

"Don't answer right now," she said "Whenever you're ready."

"I'm ready."

"What?"

"I choose you, both."

Tears rushed from her eyes."You do?"

His thumb brushed a tear from her cheek. "Yeah, I did. A while ago. But my stupid brain forgot to clue in my heart."

"You don't have a stupid brain. I love you brain. I love everything about you."

With the baby between them, Patrick leaned over and gently kissed her.

She added, "But you're ego."

He laughed.

Robin asked, "Do you hate the idea of Jax adopting her?"

Patrick took a moment to organize his thoughts. His eyes drifted to Isabella. He wouldn't want her to be without a father for one second of her life. Robin had done what had to be done.

"It's just more love for her, Rob." he said "How can that be a bad thing?"

Robin smiled, and said. "Get over here and kiss me."