Chapter Twelve: Release

"So run this by me one more time," Carth said. "You felt Bastila being tortured through the bond?"

Revan nodded. "Yes."

The entire crew of the Ebon Hawk was assembled in the common area. Jolee paced around the room, listening to what Revan had to say about the vision she saw through the bond, while everyone else either sat or stood. Revan had pushed three of the common room chairs together and was lying down on the make-shift bed, covering her eyes with her hands. She could still feel the tingling sensation left over from the Force Lightening attack.

"How is that possible?" Carth asked. "How could you feel—"

"Bastila and Revan are connected," Jolee reminded.

"Then how come I couldn't feel her after the Leviathan, felt her then, now can't feel her again?" Revan asked. She shook her head. "Never mind. Look, the main point is, she's alive."

"Bah, Malak wouldn't've killed her," Jolee said. "I told you that before."

"I know," Revan said with a sigh, "but I couldn't feel her. I'd gotten so use to being able to sense her…" Revan's voice trailed off.

Mission looked back and forth between Jolee and Revan. "Why is Malak torturing her?" she softly asked.

"Because he's Malak," Canderous answered with a snort.

"No, that's not it," Revan answered. "Well, it's part of it." She paused. "Malak's wanted Bastila for a while now. He's gonna try and turn her. I know he is."

"What good's that gonna do?" Canderous asked. "Okay, fine, she's been hangin' out with you for the past year, and has this bond-thing. But other than adding to his army of Dark Jedi—"

"Malak attacked the Endar Spire looking for Bastila, then Taris," Jolee said, turning to look at the Mandalorian. "When she escaped, he destroyed Taris. He wants her Battle Meditation ability. That's why he's torturing her. He'll turn her, then use her to his advantage. She's just a pawn."

Revan shook her head. "He won't succeed," she said. "Bastila's strong. And Malak—"

"I wouldn't underestimate Malak's abilities," Jolee said.

"I wouldn't underestimate Bastila's," Revan answered. "Look, no one… no one knows Malak better than me."

"Malak's grown much stronger since he attacked you years ago," Jolee said. "And he's got the Star Forge on his side, whatever that blasted thing does other than crank out ships."

"But he's still the same coward he was before," Revan said.

"Coward?" Carth asked.

Revan sighed and massaged her temples. "The whole reason I became the Master and he the apprentice wasn't because I was stronger or more powerful. It was because I was willing to do the work to gain that title. Malak… Malak wanted to be in control, wanted to be the one calling the shots. But he didn't want to do the leg-work. He'd much rather sit back and let me do it, then take it from me. That's why he tried to blow up my ship instead of face me in a duel for the title."

"So he laid low the entire time?" Carth asked.

"Sorta," Revan sighed. "I mean, he's strong. He's always been strong."

"Malak takes the easy path," Juhani said. "He blew up Taris instead of looking for Bastila. He sends Dark Jedi after us again and again to capture or kill. He has the Leviathan Admiral torture for information. And now he tortures Bastila."

"That's kinda the way of the Sith, Juhani," Revan said.

"But it is not honorable," Juhani replied. "He should come for you himself instead—"

"It's not me he wants."

Carth's brow furrowed. "What do you mean he doesn't want you? You're his former master. You—"

"He wants Bastila," Revan said. She sat up and sat cross-legged on the chair. "He's wanted Bastila from the start. He didn't know I was alive. Hell, I didn't know I was alive." She shook her head. "Malak wants Bastila for her Battle Meditation skill. That's it. If she won't turn to the Dark Side, he'll kill her so the Jedi and the Republic can't continue to use her to their advantage." Revan leaned forward, rested her elbows on her knees, and massaged her temples. "He doesn't need to come after me. He knows I'll go to him."

The room was silent.

Revan sighed. "Look, I-I'm sorry, gang. I really don't want to talk about this anymore. I just… want to be alone right now."

Slowly, the crew shuffled out of the room, heading to various parts of the ship. Before leaving, Jolee placed a hand on Revan's shoulder and told her to talk to him when she was ready. Revan nodded but said nothing. Carth was the last to leave the common area, making sure she was okay before he left.

When the room was quiet, Revan sat back and closed her eyes, just thinking. Every second that passed by brought her closer to the Star Forge, closer to Malak, and she felt even more unprepared now than she did months ago. And now Bastila…

Revan stood up and headed to her quarters. She closed the door behind her, turned off the light, then sat down on the floor, her back to her bed, and began to meditate. She thought of the vision she witnessed through the bond, and the previous visions of Malak and Darth Revan. She thought of the dream she had where she witnessed Carth being murdered by Darth Revan, and the previous visions she had on Korriban.

Revan spent the remainder of the afternoon meditating in her room. The crew left her alone, respecting her request for privacy. But when she didn't surface at dinner, Carth became worried. Jolee assured him she was fine. After dinner, Carth went to check on her, bringing a plate of food with him. He opened the door to her quarters and found her still sitting in darkness, deep in meditation. Carth locked the door behind him, shutting off the only light source. He walked in the darkness over to her, placed the plate of food on the floor next to her, then sat down behind her on her bed. Gently he placed his hands on her shoulders and slowly massaged her neck and shoulders.

"You're too good to me, Onasi."

Carth turned on the light over her bed, then lowered his head and kissed her cheek. "I also brought you dinner."

"You're wonderful," Revan sighed.

"What are friends for?"

Revan opened her eyes and smiled. "Friends, eh?"

"Well, maybe more than that."

Revan's smile slowly faded. "Maybe more… even though it seems every time you touch me or kiss me I see Malak?"

"It's not your fault," Carth said. "We'll work through it. We've done pretty well so far."

Revan shook her head. "I don't want to keep… working through it. I want to get past it."

"You told me yourself that it was going to take time," Carth said. "You need time, not space. Those were your exact words."

She closed her eyes. "I know."

Carth squeezed her shoulders. "Beautiful, I'll give you all the time you need."

And I love you for it, flyboy, she thought. But I'm too impatient. I want to get through this now. I don't want this to keep getting in the way… of us… Revan fought tears. "Damn you, Onasi," she whispered. "How dare you make me cry."

Carth smiled. "Part of my charm."

Revan turned around. She stood on her knees and lowered Carth's face to hers. She kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I don't want to wait anymore," she whispered against his lips. Malak memories be damned. She loved Carth now. Revan kissed him again. Carth responded, holding her tight.

"Master, you're—"

"Call me Revan."

"But Master—"

"We've known each other for years, Malak. You didn't have any problems calling me Revan before."

No, no it was Carth she was kissing. It was Carth who was running his fingers through her hair. It was Carth that was pulling her even closer…

"Master—Revan, are you… sure… about this…?"

"Who's going to stop us?"

Revan tried to fight the memories. She kissed Carth harder, gently pushing him back on her bed. Revan straddled his waist and ran her hands down the front of his jacket.

"Revan," Carth whispered against her lips. "Are you… sure… about this…?"

Revan blinked a few times. She focused on Carth's face, concentrating…

"Revan?"

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I… I wasn't sure…"

"Malak?"

Revan said nothing.

"Revan, we don't have—"

"No," she said. "I'm… I want to…"

Carth frowned. "Beautiful, if you're still suffering—Revan, I'll wait."

Revan brushed a light kiss against his lips, then slowly unfastened his jacket. "Tell that to the rest of your body."

Carth closed his eyes and softly moaned. "Nothing a cold shower can't solve."

"And how many of those have you taken so far?"

"I lost count."

Revan nibbled his ear.

"Blast it, woman," Carth moaned. His hands found her waist and unfastened her robe. He tossed her belt off to the side, then ran his hands inside her robe. Revan responded by pushing the sides of his jacket off his chest and running her hands under his t-shirt. "Revan, stop just a second," he hissed.

Revan continued to let her hands explore while she nipped at Carth's neck.

"Rev, stop just a sec and look at me," Carth said.

She raised her head. "What?"

Carth wasn't sure how to phrase what he wanted to say. "If…" He sighed. "If you see images or memories…" He tried again. "Revan, if you tell me to stop, I swear to you I will."

Revan removed her left hand from underneath his shirt and ran her fingers through his hair, catching the two stubborn locks and smiling as they snapped back into place across his brow. "Always a gentleman, Onasi," she smiled.

Carth grinned. "It always got me the girl. Well, that and my uniform."

"This jacket got you girls?"

"My other uniform."

Revan giggled. "I'd love to see you in your Republic uniform."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm," she said, brushing another kiss across his lips. "Just as much as I'd love to see this orange jacket of yours—"

"Rust."

"Whatever color it is," she said, "it needs to be off you and on the floor."

"You don't beat around the bush, do you?"

Revan grinned.

Carth sat up enough for Revan to push his jacket off his shoulders. She tossed it aside and the jacket landed on the floor.

Carth kissed Revan and lay back down, taking her with him. His hands rested on her hips, then slowly traveled upwards.

"You sure about this?" Carth whispered.

"Yes."

"No regrets?"

"None."

Carth closed his eyes. "I… I haven't done this in… in a long time, you know. I—"

"Stop talking."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"I've never done this before, Malak…"

"Neither have I."

"The Jedi Council forbids—"

"We've already defied them on so many levels, Revan."

Revan's mind screamed for her to focus. "You locked… the door so… T3 can't come… wheeling in, right?" she whispered in between kisses.

"You just told me to stop talking," Carth pointed out.

"I know I did," Revan whispered against his lips. "But I don't need this recorded, either."

"Door's locked."

Carth held her hips, then rolled over. He nibbled at her bottom lip. "You're beautiful, Beautiful."

Revan's hands were all over his chest and back. She closed her eyes and moaned his name, running her fingers through his hair.

"Oh, Malak…"

"Oh, Carth," Revan moaned, more for her own benefit, blocking out the Force vision. The visions were becoming more vivid. Revan fought the urge to tell Carth to stop.

Carth kissed her, tracing the inside of her mouth with his tongue.

All the frustration since Taris, the flirtation since Dantooine, and the affection after Korriban found its release. Carth and Revan were left undisturbed by the rest of the crew, only Revan's memories preventing her from truly enjoying the moment.

They lay there in darkness under the blankets, tangled in each others arms. Revan pillowed her head against Carth's shoulder, her leg draped over his. "You okay?" Carth whispered.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Revan whispered back.

"I didn't know if you…" he paused. "Way to ruin a mood, but I wasn't sure if you had any memories—"

"None," she lied.

"I'm glad."

They lay in silence for a few seconds before Revan whispered, "For someone who made a point in saying he hadn't done this in a long time—"

Carth chuckled, cutting off her sentence. "Who knew I still had it in me?"

Revan giggled. After a few more seconds of silence, Revan started to apologize.

"For what?" Carth asked.

"For earlier," she said. "Like, a few days ago. I… I was just—"

"Don't apologize," Carth said. "You said you needed time and I was more than happy to give it to you, Beautiful."

"I've wanted you so bad," she whispered. "Just lying here the last few nights…"

You have no idea how hard it was to just lay here, Carth thought. "Shhh," he said. "Don't say anything. Just… enjoy the moment."

Revan smiled.

"I bet your dinner's cold."

"You told me to stop talking and enjoy the moment," Revan said.

"I know," he replied, "but I just remembered you hadn't eaten."

"Later," she said. "I'll eat later. Right now… I just want to take your earlier advice…"

Carth smiled and kissed her forehead.

Thanks to Ocelott for being one of the best Beta-readers ever! There is a longer version of this fic available, and we managed to cut it down to this for a T-rating. Thank you so much, Ocelott!