062. Smile
Keep Smiling
Wilson tried to smile. He tried hard but he suspected he was mostly failing from the looks he kept getting. But every time he didn't smile people started tiptoeing around him and whispering quietly. Then they'd start speaking to him in deliberately gentle voices as though he was made of fine porcelain and about to shatter. He wasn't going to shatter.
He'd already done that.
He'd shattered the night that House hadn't arrived back at the apartment. He'd been surprised when he'd beaten House home from the hospital since House was riding the motorbike. But then had come the phone call from Lisa Cuddy and Wilson had shattered into tiny pieces.
House was dead. A car had swerved into the wrong lane without warning and collided front on with House's motorbike. It had been that quick. The paramedics had been of the opinion that House had probably died on impact. Considering the injuries he'd suffered Wilson could only hope so; even if he'd survived the collision, House probably wouldn't have survived the injuries.
Wilson had slowly picked up the shattered pieces of himself and put them back together in a haphazard manner and made his way into the hospital. He'd never bothered to go back and fix the repair job he'd done. Why bother? Without House what did he need his heart for?
House had left everything to Wilson; his apartment, his piano, his books, everything. Wilson had been surprised but even more startled when House's parents had told him they'd known of the relationship between him and their son. Wilson had been glad of that. It had been a relief to have someone that knew; someone who could understand what he was going through. They had lost a son; he'd lost a friend…and a lover. He hadn't altered a thing in the apartment.
Somehow Cuddy and Cameron had found out about his relationship with House. Wilson suspected it was from the letters House had left for the two women. It had been inevitable after that that the entire hospital would know. Nobody said a word though; whether out of compassion, tact or confusion, Wilson didn't know…nor did he care.
Oddly enough it was Cuddy and Cameron along with Foreman and Chase who treated him the closest thing to normal. He had a suspicion that they were watching over him. He didn't mind if they were. They were the closest things House had had to friends other than Wilson himself. He liked the idea of keeping them close.
Cuddy had handed the Diagnostic Medicine department over to Foreman. That seemed fitting in its own way though Foreman had looked like he'd wanted to refuse at first. Wilson had no doubts that Foreman wanted to run a department of his own but he suspected that he'd wanted it on his own merits or because House had retired and handed it over to him. It had taken Cuddy showing Foreman the letter she'd been left which had suggested Foreman for the job to convince the man. However, in spite of that, Foreman ran the department in a very collegial manner as though Hose was still in charge and rarely used House's office even though his name was now on the door.
Wilson had an open invitation to the Diagnostic Medicine department at any time whether he was there for a consult or not. Mostly he just sat silently, holding onto the memory of the man who had once presided here, but sometimes he contributed a suggestion or two. Foreman, Cameron and Chase seemed to like having him there and tended to keep glancing at him as though reassuring themselves.
He tried to smile as he kept going. Kept treating his patients, working in the clinic, wishing for House's sardonic, sarcastic comments. Foreman was good but he had a long way to go. Mostly he just wished for House…whether he was in the clinic, in his office, in the Diagnostic Medicine conference room or in their bed.