Chapter Thirty: Memories

She saw a small and scrawny youngling crying in the corner of the padawan playroom. He had brown hair neatly trimmed, was wearing brown padawan robes that looked to be two sizes too big for him, and brown leather boots that didn't quite fit. He must have been there for a while, yet all the other padawans were either ignoring him or were busy playing and simply didn't notice. She felt sorry for him, so put down her hand-held game and walked over.

"Hi," she said. "Everything okay?"

The boy wiped his nose on his sleeve and looked up at her. She noticed he had big brown eyes. "Hi," he whispered.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Again, the boy wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Nothing."

She crossed her arms. "I don't believe you. I've been training to be a Jedi for two years now, and I know you're so lying."

"I'm not," the boy insisted.

She rolled her eyes. "If you're crying, you can't possibly be okay. Duh!" The boy frowned. "You must be new here." She sat down in front of the boy. "I'm Liana Suul, second-year padawan."

The boy sniffled. "Malak."

"Did you just join the Jedis?" Liana asked.

Malak nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Miss your family?"

Malak nodded.

Liana frowned. "Yeah, I miss mine, too. They still live on Corellia, I think." She tried to think of something else to talk about, something that wasn't so sad. "How old are you?"

"Five," Malak said.

"I'm seven," Liana smiled. "I remember being your age and scared, and all."

Malak said nothing.

Liana giggled. "Wanna see what I can do?" Before waiting for him to answer, she pointed to a blue cup on a nearby table. "Watch this." Liana concentrated on the cup. She heard Malak gasp as the cup levitated off the table and floated over towards them.

"Astral!" he said as Liana made the cup twirl in the air, then land on the palm of her hand.

Liana's eyes twinkled. "That's not all I can do," she grinned. "There was this one time…"

Revan's heart leapt to her throat. She stood at the doorway of the Star Forge's bridge, her lightsabers drawn. Malak stood at the far end, looking out the massive window, watching the battle outside. Revan stared at the back of his head, the recent flashback fresh in her mind. They were just kids… so young, so naïve…

But now things were different. They weren't cute little younglings anymore. Together she and Malak turned an entire galaxy upside down, declaring themselves rulers of the Sith. They were evil people, evil rulers. And now the Force had brought them together one last time… one last time to end their evil rule over the galaxy and restore peace…

Until another Sith Lord steps up, Lord Revan. Then the cycle will begin again. You could train that Sith—

Revan cringed and told the Star Forge to go away. This was a matter between her and Malak. No one else could intervene, no one else could help. That's why she walked away from Carth. He wanted to help with something he couldn't possibly understand or even handle. Carth was safer standing on the sidelines, not jumping into the middle of the battle.

Carth… If only things were different. If only she didn't have to do this…

Slowly, Revan stepped forward, walking towards the center of the bridge. The room was empty—empty, cold, and quiet. Malak made no move to acknowledge Revan's presence, but she knew he could feel her. He could always feel her.

"Bet I could beat you down the hall again," Liana grinned.

"We can't!" Malak hissed, looking all around the hall in case someone overheard. "You remember what Master Vrook said last time you raced me down the hall. We'll get in trouble!" he said through clenched teeth.

"Just tell him you were practicing your speed skills," Liana said with a shrug.

"What, so I could finally beat you at something?"

"Uh-huh!" Liana smiled. "C'mon. No one's around."

Malak grumbled. "You're just gonna beat again like always. You never let me win."

"That's cuz I'm better than you."

"No, you're not! Master Zhar said that we're both really good for our age!"

Liana's eyes twinkled mischievously. "He was just tellin' you that so you don't feel bad."

Revan saw Malak turn around and look at her. He said nothing, then started to walk forward. She'd forgotten how tall he was… a good head taller than Canderous. And she was almost as tiny as Mission…

Mismatched. That's what the other Jedi Knights referred to them as.

Revan was scared of him, of what he could do. On the Leviathan she could barely handle him. If it wasn't for Bastila stepping in when she did, Malak would have easily struck her down. He was powerful, and with the power of the Star Forge backing him…

Revan cleared her mind of doubt. No, the Light Side was always more powerful than the Dark Side. That part she believed now. Revan had learned her lesson the hard way, by having her life taken away yet slowly and maddeningly returned to her in bits and pieces. All because she chose the way of the Sith, because she meddled in something she had no business in meddling in…

"It's the middle of the night—"

"I don't care!" Liana hissed, sitting down on the edge of Malak's bed. "I need to talk to you!"

"Here?" Malak asked, gesturing towards his sleeping roommate.

Liana flicked her wrist and used the Force to freeze the sleeping Twi'lek. "This is important!"

Malak smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Suul, I swear, there are days—"

"The Mandalorians are advancing," Liana said.

Malak frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean they're invading more of Republic space," she said.

"How do you—"

"I overheard Master Vandar and Master Vrook talking about it," she said. "I was in the library—"

"Just get to the point," Malak sighed.

"The Republic wants the Jedi to help. They're supposed to hold a Council meeting about it tomorrow, but I don't think the Republic's gonna be happy."

"Why?" Malak asked, sitting up.

"I heard them agree that this isn't something the Jedi should run in on. Something about danger, I don't know."

Malak frowned. "So you woke me up to tell me that you think you overheard something but you're not sure what?"

Liana groaned. "I've been following the Mandalorian and Republic—"

"I know that."

"Look, I just think if the Council decides not to help the Republic that it's the wrong thing," she said. "Our job is to defend the Republic, not sit back and decide if we want to."

"Suul, you don't even know what the Council's decided or if they've decided anything," Malak sighed. "Look, it's four and a half hours until daylight and I want—"

"But what if they decide not to help?" Liana asked. "I mean, what if they don't do what they're supposed to do?"

"Trust in the greater wisdom of the Jedi Council, and all that junk," Malak grumbled, lying back down. "And for the sake of the Force, go back to bed."

"I can't just sit by and do nothing!" Liana said. "We have to do something!"

Malak propped himself up on his forearms. "'We'?" he asked. "What 'we'?"

"We," she said, "as in you and I."

"Okay, wait a minute here," Malak said. "You don't know what the Council has decided, and you've already assumed they're not going to help—"

"Yes."

"And you want to do something to help the Republic anyway, which means defying the Council if they've decided not to help."

"Yes."

Malak collapsed on the bed and covered his face with his hands. "Suul," he whined. "We just got promoted to Jedi Knight. I don't wanna lose the title because of something you're assuming based on facts you don't even know—"

"I thought you'd find this important, too!" Liana said.

"Well, maybe if it wasn't the middle of the night I would!" Malak snapped. He sighed. "Look, just… just go back to your own room, and we'll talk about it in the morning."

Liana grinned, leaned over and gave Malak a hug. "Thanks," she whispered. She kissed his cheek. "See you at morning meal."

"You're gonna be the death of me yet, Suul. You know that, right?"

Liana giggled. "Promises, promises."

Revan felt sick.

"Well done, Revan," Malak said. Revan blinked and looked up at her former friend… her former lover. His mechanical voice sent chills down her spine. "I was certain the defenses of the Star Forge would destroy you, but I see there is more of your old self in you than I expected." His brow furrowed. "You are stronger than I thought, stronger than you ever were during your reign as the Dark Lord. I did not think that was possible."

Revan didn't know what to say. "The light side is stronger than you realize," she said, holding her lightsabers tight.

Revan felt Malak's doubt. "I am tempted to try and capture you alive, Revan," he said. "Then I could break your will and bind you as my apprentice, as I did Bastila."

"But Revan—"

"Quiet!" she snapped. "I am stronger than you. I will always be stronger! You have a lot to learn, Malak."

"Revan, I—"

"Master!" she scolded. "You will address me as Master until I state otherwise!"

"You would be a far greater asset to me than even Bastila and her Battle Meditation, if I could control you. But is it even worth the risk?" Malak asked. Then he snorted. "Perhaps you are too powerful to be my apprentice. I betrayed you when I realized my own strength was greater than yours. In time, you might try to do the same to me."

"No," Revan whispered. "No, I'll never serve the darkness again. There was too much pain. We destroyed too many lives." She shook her head. "We were stupid to even try. Don't you see? This isn't us. This isn't who we used to be."

"Foolish words," Malak spat. "The darkness and the light wage a constant war within you. The balance is tipped one way now, but it can easily be tipped back."

"Malak, don't do this," she whispered.

He ignored her. "Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all things, Revan… and yet you are nothing. In the end you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone."

"I believe now in the power of redemption, Malak," Revan said. My friends have taught me that…

"Of course," Malak said. "What else do you have left? Fate and destiny have kept you alive despite my best efforts. They've thrust you into the role of savior."

Revan didn't know what to say.

"We have been inexorably pushed to this final confrontation, Revan," he continued. "I see now that this can only be settled when one of us destroys the other."

Or we destroy ourselves, Revan thought.

"Once again we shall face each other in single combat, and the victor will decide the fate of the galaxy!"

Malak drew his lightsaber.

The battle between Master and Apprentice had begun.

Most of Malak's dialogue copyright 2003 LucasArts and BioWare. The rest? Copyright moi...