Chapter Thirty-Nine: Another Promise

Revan stood in front of her guest room window on Admiral Dodonna's ship, staring out at the stars. The lights in her small room had been turned off, leaving the room dark except for the dim light of the stars. Carth had told her they'd be on Coruscant soon. She wasn't sure if she was looking forward to going there. The journey was coming to an end now. Soon everyone would be going their separate ways, and Revan knew her way was back to the Jedi Temple. After everything she'd been through, especially in the last few weeks, she wasn't sure if the Jedi Temple was where she truly belonged.

"Master Zhar, I don't understand," Liana asked. "That doesn't make any sense."

Master Zhar turned and looked at his nine year old padawan. "You question—"

"I mean no disrespect, Master," Liana said. "But… that just seems dumb."

"It is wrong to question the beliefs of the Jedi Order," Zhar said. "Just like it is wrong to doubt in the Force."

"I don't doubt the Force," Liana said. "I believe in it totally. I can feel it. I know it exists and can do both wonderful and horrible things. I just don't understand why the Jedi—"

"You have a lot to learn, young one," Zhar said. "Clear your mind and meditate what I've taught you before you question your lessons. There will be no more learning today."

Crestfallen, Liana said, "Yes, Master Zhar."

Revan massaged her temples. She'd gotten used to memories appearing out of nowhere, but it still left her a little dizzy every time it happened. As a youngling Revan had done nothing but question everything. And after discovering the truth about herself, she'd gone back to questioning the Jedi Council again.

Is this how it's going to be from now on? Revan thought. Am I going to continue to question everything I've ever been taught? Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a Jedi. Maybe I should be more like Jolee… a regular person with the Force powers and a lightsaber. One thing was for certain, though. She couldn't be a Jedi and be with Carth. It was one or the other.

Carth had made a promise to protect her and save her from herself. And he'd done just that. He kept that promise, and Revan knew he'd continue to keep it until the day he died. She'd given him a reason to live again… and oddly enough, he'd given her the same thing. After everything he'd done for her, especially sticking by her through the last few days, Revan now had faith that everything was going to turn out for the better provided he was with her.

Of Ebon Hawk crew, only Carth came back to the ship to see her. He had stayed outside her room, waiting for her to emerge. He hadn't barged in, nor had he hadn't demanded to see her. Carth simply had waited for as long as it took. He bared his sole to her, and she knew it. If he hadn't made an attempt to reach out to her and get her to listen, she'd still be alone crying in her quarters, damning herself for not being dead. Carth was the only one that got her to see some kind of reason. He told her to trust in herself that she wouldn't fall again. Maybe Carth was right. Maybe she needed to learn to listen to her own advice. Darth Revan died years ago, and wasn't coming back.

She heard the door to her quarters open. Light from the hall filtered in, causing her to squint. Then she heard Carth's voice. "Beautiful? You okay?" Revan turned around and saw him standing in the doorway. "You want the lights—"

"Off," she said. "Come here."

Carth closed the door, then walked across the darkened room. He stood behind Revan, wrapping his arms around her waist for a backwards embrace. He rested his head against the side of hers, the stubble of his beard scratching her cheek. "Sure you're okay?"

Revan placed her hands on top of his and said nothing.

Carth said nothing. For a while they stood there looking at the stars. He eventually broke the silence and said, "I told everyone you were off the Ebon Hawk and in your own room."

"So now they can come and find me?"

She felt Carth smile. "They were happy you were feeling better," he said. "They want to see you… eventually."

"Maybe later," Revan said. "I just want to enjoy the quiet for now."

Carth and Revan stood in silence for a few more minutes. The longer they stood in silence, the more she felt nervousness brewing inside of him, followed by doubt. Revan frowned. "What's wrong?" she softly asked.

"Nothing's wrong," he said.

"You can't lie to a Jedi, Onasi." She turned around, breaking the embrace, and looked at him. "Talk to me. What's wrong?"

Carth hung his head.

Hesitantly, Revan asked, "It's not me, is it?"

He looked at her. "What? No! No, it's…" His voice trailed off. "There's, there's something I want to ask you, before the others come. If they come." Carth took her hands in his. "We're going to be on Coruscant soon, and most likely split up. All of us. You, Bastila, Juhani, and Jolee will be with the Jedi, I'll be with the Republic Navy… Who knows where Canderous will be. I just…" He sighed. "I want to know something."

"So ask," Revan said.

Carth paused for a moment, then said: "After all of this is really over with… The Jedi, the Republic, whatever hero's welcome awaits us…" His eyes met hers. "Will you come to Telos with me?"

Revan looked puzzled. "Telos? But I thought—"

"There's an orbiting space station a lot of Telos's citizens live on," he explained. "Dustil and I agreed to meet on Telos, I know. But Telos's surface is still closed while they rebuild it. Citadel Station is where I'll find Dustil, I just know it. And I want you to come with me when I go to see him."

Revan very carefully asked, "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," he said. He cupped the side of her face. "Beautiful, I can't give you a future with me if we don't do things together." He softly laughed. "It would make things a bit difficult."

"I realize that," Revan said. "But Dustil… this is your son. It's not that I don't want to go, but isn't this something you should do on your own? What's he going to say when Dad shows up with his Jedi lover?"

Carth's face became somber. His hand left her cheek and rested on her shoulder. "The truth is… I don't think I could have faced him on my own on Korriban. And to see him so full of hate… I was so thankful that you were there. Not right away, and I'm sorry I kept interrupting when you were trying to get us to listen. But I know that I couldn't have done it without you, and certainly would have never gotten Dustil to listen." He took her hands in his. "I need you to come with me. I can't do this alone. He's my son, I know." His voice softened. "It's just been so long… Dustil's so different now." Carth's eyes met Revan's. "You got him to turn away from the Dark Side. I know that wouldn't've happened had you not been there. Dustil never would have listened to me. Besides the fact I wouldn't've known where to start in trying to turn him back to the good side. I know he told me in the Sith Academy he was going to turn away. But I also know that the dark side is difficult to turn away from. I look at Bastila and can see that." He paused, then said, "I need you, Beautiful. I need your help."

Revan still was uncertain. "You need me or you need my help?"

"Both," Carth said. "I can't do this alone. I know I haven't seen him in four years, but… He became the very thing I was fighting against. He may have turned away from the Sith, but he's still angry. Dustil's a different person now. I don't know how to handle this situation. That's why I want you to come with me, and help me."

"But there are some things you have to alone," Revan said. "I can come with you and be your moral support, but you are the one who has to make amends with Dustil. Just like I had to face Malak alone. I can't make everything better with Dustil for you, just like you couldn't defeat Malak for me."

"I know."

"Although comparing facing a Sith Lord to facing your own child is a bit unfair."

"You'd be amazed how similar it is, even more difficult."

Revan smiled. "As long as you realize that you have to make amends with Dustil on your own, Flyboy, then I'll come to Telos with you."

Carth's face lit up. "You will?" Revan nodded. She felt great relief from Carth. "Thank you," he said, cupping her face again. "This… This means so much." His hands slid down to her slender shoulders.

"Course, this is all depending if the Jedi Council lets me," she said. "Somehow I have a feeling I'm going to be under surveillance by them for a long time." When she felt Carth's doubt return, Revan added, "But I don't think they can deny a Jedi helping out a Republic War Hero find his Sith-Turned-Good son. They may even think of Dustil as a possible recruit."

"Dustil?" Carth asked. "A Jedi?"

"I don't know, Flyboy," she said. "That's not my call. But he's definitely Force Sensitivel." She smiled. "One step at a time."

Carth nodded. "Thank you," he said again. He pulled her into an embrace. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered. They were silent for a few moments before Revan said, "I should be the one thanking you from keeping me from falling. I don't know how you did it. Especially on the Star Forge… and afterwards. Just these past few weeks…"

Carth gave her a squeeze. "I've been in worse spots."

"Good to see you up, instead of thrashing around in your sleep. You must have been having one hell of a nightmare. I was wondering if you were ever going to wake up."

Liana looked around. She was in a room… an apartment. But where? And who was the man sitting next to her? She was still fully clothed—which was an improvement over the last time she'd waken up disorientated and in a strange place—and a quick glance to her left showed her weapons sitting on a table at arms length. Liana looked at the man, puzzled. Why did he look so familiar?

"I'm Carth," the man said, "one of the Republic soldiers from the Endar Spire. I was with you on the escape pod, do you remember?"

That did sound familiar. "Carth," she said. "You… You were the officer on the communicator." He helped her find a way off the Endar Spire… "I'm Liana, by the way. Liana Suul."

"Revan? You went quiet. You okay?"

She blinked. "Sorry. Just thinkin' about the first time we met on Taris." She broke the embrace. "We'll be on Coruscant soon. Maybe we should spend some time with everyone before we're separated?"

He bent his head and kissed her. "Later," he whispered against her lips.

"You didn't do this on Taris."

"And with good reason: You would have killed me."

Revan just smiled.

"Whatever's happened up until this point, there's going to come a time very soon where you're going to have to make a choice. And there won't be any turning back."

Revan looked at Carth, studying his face. "How… How could you possibly help me?"

He looked into her eyes. "I want you to make the right choice. I want to give you a reason to."

"And if I make the wrong choice?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Carth wiped away another tear from her face. "Well then, I hope I can save you. From yourself."

"Carth, I—"

"You gave me a future. I want to give you a future, too… with me. I think I could love you, if you give me the chance."

Revan's eyes filled with tears. "I… I think I could love you, too."

Carth kissed her again. Revan returned the kiss, and wrapped her arms around Carth's neck. As much as she wanted to go see her friends before the inevitable split, she wanted to be alone with Carth even more.