He continued on down the corridor and passed through the door that opened up into the hangar that had housed the E.S.s. Thinking to himself that he could hide away in a corner and read until this mood of his had passed, he made a beeline for the stairs. He stopped dead when he heard two familiar voices drift toward him. No, I cannot handle Mary again right now. And Shelley won't be any help because she'll just stand there and let Mary say whatever she wants. I need to get out of sight! Spying KOS-MOS' old maintenance room door, he rushed over to it and ducked inside quickly. Leaning back against it with a sigh of relief, he jumped almost a foot in the air when he heard a voice say, "Jr., what are you doing here?"

Recovering, he saw Shion striding toward him. Seeing the cause of his heartache was too much for Jr. to bear. So he did the only thing that he thought would make him feel better, and that was lashing out at Shion. "Do you live in this room or what, Shion? You might as well sleep in here. If you'd like, we could bring your breakfast, lunch, and dinner to you too. That way, you'd never have to leave your damn memories of KOS-MOS!"

Shion gave him a hurt-filled glance. "You act as though I spend my life in here, Jr. You know that's not true. I'm sorry that I miss KOS-MOS so much. When I'm in this room, I feel close to her. So I spend a few hours a day in here, just so I won't forget about her." She turned her head from him, and he knew she was beginning to cry. Any other time it would have caused him to want to do nothing but take her in his arms and tell her he was there for her, even if she didn't understand the meaning behind it. Now, though, he just wanted to hurt her as much as he was hurting from his dream.

"She was an android, Shion! Nothing but a simple android! Why the hell do you insist on remaining so attached to her? If the situation had been reversed, and you were the one who stayed behind, do you think she'd be here grieving over you? No, because it wasn't logical and she wasn't human! She probably would have forgotten about you by now, or if your name was brought up, she wouldn't even blink. Why can't you move on?" Jr. was nearly screaming by the end of his speech. He spun on his heel, determined to leave the room. Shion's voice stopped him cold.

"How dare you," she breathed quietly. "How dare you take my feelings and trample over them as though they're nothing. I had so much respect for you before this moment, Jr. You don't know anything about my relationship with KOS-MOS. You don't know anything about her or how she felt. Turn around. At least have the common decency to look at me after you've spoken to me the way you have." When he did so, he was pinned in place by the blazing fury in her eyes. "I don't know why you think you have the right to hurt me the way you have, but you're not leaving this room until I have an apology from you. I didn't deserve that treatment and you damn well know it."

Jr.'s first reaction was to tell Shion she'd be waiting until Hell froze over and even then she wouldn't get an apology from him. The part of him that was so in love with her, he couldn't see straight when she was near, overruled that reaction. He realized that somehow, he'd managed to snap Shion out of her mourning. No one had seen much of anything in the way of personality from Shion since they'd set off for Lost Jerusalem and only tears and a need for solitude since she'd told Allen it was over. Finally, though, here was the old Shion, the strong-willed Shion that he'd fallen in love with. While she might be standing there with stormy green eyes aimed in his direction, the fact was...she had finally returned.

He held up a hand in a gesture of peace. "You're right, Shion. I was out of line with what I said. There's nothing I can say that will suffice for an excuse as to why I did it, especially when it's not even how I really feel about KOS-MOS. I just wanted to hurt someone the way I've been hurting," he said honestly. He leaned against one of the computer terminals, rubbing at his eyes tiredly.

The anger in Shion's eyes started to fade, and she came to stand beside him. "You miss him, don't you?" she asked, and Jr. didn't even pretend to not know who she was talking about. He simply nodded. "I didn't know Gaignun that well, or really at all, but I know how close you were to him. We've all lost people who meant so very much to us. I've just been so consumed by my own losses, that I couldn't see anyone else's pain. And knowing the holiday is so close didn't make it any easier. As much as I'd like to slap you for what you said," she told him as she narrowed her eyes, and Jr. gave her a guilty grin, "you did what no else could. So maybe I needed someone to get in my face. A little less enthusiasm would have been appreciated, though." She poked him in the shoulder teasingly.

Jr. chuckled, but she could see his thoughts were focused elsewhere. She put her hand atop his that was resting on the panel of the computer terminal and simply waited. "You know, it's weird. I haven't thought about Gaignun much since that day. I haven't let myself, because I know if I do, I'm going to lose it. He and I were partners for so long, and we had our own separate duties to take care of. Now with him gone, it's all up to me. It's been a long time since I was the only leader. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't know that I can do it without knowing Gaignun is there to fall back on. Everyone here treats me like a kid to some degree, and that's what has me worried. Can they really accept that I'm all there is now?"

Shion squeezed his hand lightly. She took a minute to put her thoughts in order before answering Jr. "I think they can. Besides, you were the leader of the U.R.T.V.s."

Jr. laughed drily. "Yeah, and I did such a wonderful job leading them, didn't I? I got most of them killed or infected because I was such a coward." He pushed off of the terminal and started pacing. "My leadership skills are sadly lacking. I don't know what the hell Gaignun was thinking in believing that I could do this on my own."

Shion followed after him and again took his hand, forcing him to come to a halt. "Hey, this isn't the Jr. that I know. We're not going to switch places now that I've finally stopped wallowing in my own misery. You know as well as I do that you're capable of anything when you set your mind to it. It was always you who led us through everything, and you who did things that others couldn't. Gaignun knew this, and that's why he felt comfortable going on. So don't blame yourself for the fact that you didn't save him."

Jr.'s spine stiffened. In one sentence, Shion had managed to nail precisely what he'd been feeling since Gaignun's disappearance. He'd just done all that he could to avoid thinking about it. This feeling combined with the discovery that he loved Shion as much more than just a friend had made him almost unapproachable these past few months. "You don't think he blames me for not being able to save him?"

Shion shook her head. "As little as I knew him, I did know him well enough to say that he cared very much about you, and Albedo. Being able to save the two of you was all that mattered to him. It was a very noble thing of him to do, and he certainly wouldn't want you blaming yourself. I think he'd want you to move on." She looked a little sad then. "And saying that makes me realize that Jin would have wanted the same thing for me."

Jr. noticed for the first time that Shion was holding his hand. It made him feel much lighter, almost as though a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He knew she was right about Gaignun. He would never have blamed his brother for what had happened, but having someone else say it to him made Jr. feel secure in that knowledge. "Jin loved you a lot, Shion. He may not have always known how to express it, but he was always looking after you. So yeah, he would have wanted you to be happy. He said so himself."

Shion smiled at him and nodded. "I know. It's just that right now, I miss him so much. See, when Christmas rolled around, Jin made sure that we celebrated it. Even if we fought the whole time, I had to be home for it. Back when I was younger, and Mom was sick and Dad was never really home, Jin made sure that I had a happy Christmas despite it. I wish I could remember a Christmas where we all were together, though. I know when I was a baby, Mom hadn't gotten sick yet, so we would have been able to celebrate Christmas as a family. This year, I don't even have Jin." She sighed. "But you know, it's time to establish a new tradition, don't you think? I'm among friends here, and that's what is important."

Jr. was struck by a sudden idea as to the perfect gift for Shion. He would have to discuss it with Allen, but he didn't see Allen being an obstacle. Despite their being apart now, Allen would still want to see Shion happy. Almost giddy with his plan, Jr. gave Shion's hand a tight squeeze and said quickly, "You're among people who love you here. Look, I hate to put an end to this, but I've got something I need to do right now. Thanks for what you said about Gaignun. It means a lot to me. I'll talk to you later, okay?" He rushed out of the room, leaving Shion standing there staring after him with a bemused look.

Is it safe yet? Albedo said sarcastically. Should I go back to hiding out, or am I allowed to actually speak now? Jr. rolled his eyes and replied, "Don't act like a big baby, Albedo. I needed some time to myself right then. And if I know you as well as I know I do, you were still hanging around. You withdrew enough to make me think you'd gone, but you were taking everything in, weren't you?" I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it will incriminate me, Albedo sniffed haughtily. Judging from the feelings that I'm reading from you, Rubedo, you're in a much better mood now. In fact, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to find you're skipping along merrily. Jr. slowed down, embarrassed to see that Albedo had been right. Nigredo would never have blamed you, Rubedo. He did what he felt was the right thing to do, and that was making us whole again. Jr. came to a halt and cried triumphantly, "Ha, you were listening! You'd only know I was blaming myself if you heard the conversation between Shion and me!" No, I know it to be true because I could read it in your subconscious, Rubedo. I think I've said before that you don't mask your emotions well? Albedo was quiet for a few seconds and then said in an innocent voice, You could only claim I'd listened in if I knew the reason you're so sickeningly happy right now. And if I do, I'm certainly not saying. Jr. could only sigh at his brother and then continued on his search for Allen.

He met the Professor and Scott again on his way up the corridor. They were both grumbling after having just removed all of the decorations. Jr. stepped into the room and said with an extremely straight face, "So why are all of the decorations down? They were coming along pretty well, if you ask me."

Scott stuttered, "But y-y-you told us to t-t-take them d-d-down, sir!" and the Professor gave Jr. the evil eye. "So what does that mean, sonny? We took them down for no good reason then?"

Managing to keep his face expressionless, Jr. said in answer, "Yeah, you can put it all back up. In fact, you'd better decorate the whole ship too. And since it'll probably take you a good while, no time like the present to get started!" He headed out of the room to the sound of their renewed muttering and kept his laughter contained until he hit the elevator.

He found Allen hanging out on the bridge, deep in conversation with Hammer. This wouldn't have been surprising if not for the fact that Allen had been nearly as anti-social as Shion for the last couple of weeks. So Jr. took it as a good sign that Allen seemed to be coming around somewhat. Impatiently waiting for a lull in which he could speak up, he finally broke in with, "Hey Allen, do you think I could borrow you for a little bit? I need to talk something over with you."

Allen gave him a sidelong glance, confusion plainly written all over his face. Jr. could understand why, since they didn't go out of their way to speak to one another. It wasn't that either one hated the other; it was more that Jr. had never quite gotten over Allen's comment aboard the Durandal when they'd first met and Allen had never quite forgotten that Jr. had joked about leaving him there in space. So it was somewhat of an uneasy alliance between the two of them. Now that Jr. was deliberately seeking him out, Allen was clearly at a loss. "Um, okay. We'll finish the conversation a little later, Hammer. Hacking the new network already..." He sighed and followed Jr.

Now that Jr. had Allen on his own where he could talk to him, he wasn't quite sure how to begin. He didn't want his feelings for Shion to broadcast so clearly that Allen picked up on them. He took to pacing and Allen spoke up after a few minutes of watching Jr. wear a hole in the floor. "Jr., so what exactly did you need to talk to me about? I can't think of a single thing we'd need to discuss." He put a hand to the back of his head, clearly embarrassed. "Uh, that didn't come out the way I intended. I meant-"

Jr. held up his hand and Allen fell silent. "It's okay, Allen. You were just being honest. Can't fault you for that. Look, I need to ask you a really huge favor. Ordinarily, I wouldn't ask you for anything, but you're the only one here who can do what I need done, and..." Jr. swore silently. Not the most brilliant opening I've heard, Rubedo. Have you ever heard of tact? It would serve you well to look into the meaning of the word, Albedo said with a chuckle. Jr. gritted his teeth and tried again. "Sorry, Allen, that's not the way I meant to start out. I don't really know how I meant to start this, to be honest with you."

Allen laughed a little nervously. Since he had no idea what this was even about, he couldn't help lead the conversation in a helpful direction. "I'd try to help, if I had any clue what you needed from me, Jr., but I'm lost."

Jr. decided it was best just to plunge on ahead, before he managed to alienate Allen enough to not even hear him out. "Allen, you're really knowledgeable when it comes to Encephalon diving, right? I remember Shion saying something about it before we dove into MOMO's subconscious that time. I really need that knowledge of yours for a Christmas gift for someone."

Allen looked a little surprised. It was obvious that whatever he'd been expecting Jr. to ask of him, it wasn't anything close to this. "Well, we still have the Simple Dive Unit. Ch-I mean, Shion left it here because she thought it might come in handy later on. What is it that you plan on doing? I've got to know the details so that I'm able to back you up when the time comes."

Jr. turned away from Allen. He didn't want him to be able to read the expression on his face when he told him what he planned on doing. While they weren't very friendly, he knew Allen was far shrewder than he projected most of the time. Plus there's the fact that your feelings for the princess are so blatantly obvious. And since he feels the same way about her, he'd know in an instant, Albedo pointed out. Jr. bit his lip, well-aware of the accuracy of this statement. He took a deep breath and said quietly, "I was talking to Shion a little while ago, and she was saying how she wished she could remember a Christmas where she had all of her family around her. I was thinking that she'd have the memory of when her mom wasn't sick, even if she can't recall it consciously. If you helped me with an Encephalon dive into her mind, she could experience it and keep that memory."

Allen was quiet for a few minutes. Finally, he nodded and said to Jr.'s back, "Yeah, I think I could help you out with this. We'd need Ch-uh, Shion's permission, though, because I won't do any Encephalon diving that hasn't been pre-approved, not after what we've been through when it comes to diving. I'm not saying you need to tell her exactly what you plan on doing, but she needs to know enough to give it her okay."

Jr. spun around, so happy that Allen had agreed to help out, that he forgot to put a damper on his emotions. He shook Allen's hand and grinned. "Thanks, Allen! It'll mean a hell of a lot to Shion, and I know that she'll say it's no problem. As long as she doesn't say no, I'd like for this to happen on Christmas Eve, if possible."

Allen was a bit subdued when he answered. "I don't see any conflicts with Christmas Eve. Just let me know either way." Seeing Jr. was about to leave, he said quietly, "Just promise me that you'll be good to her, Jr. She deserves it."

Jr.'s feelings were at war. While a fairly large part of him wanted to tell Allen he didn't know what he was talking about, to spare Allen's feelings, he knew that wouldn't be fair to Allen. Not when he'd made it clear he knew that Jr. cared about Shion as far more than a friend. So he replied just as quietly, "If it comes to that, Allen, I will. I swear it." He and Allen nodded to one another, and Jr. took off in search of Shion.