Memo Thing: Hello readers! Sorry for the long wait. I have finals for a few days starting tomorrow, so I was studying and working all week. I'm very stressed right now and I'm sorry if the chapter is kind of scrambled. The good news is I'll start my new quarter and it will have easier classes and less homework. If all goes well, updates will be better. Thanks and continue!

Reminder-

"blah" means talking.

'blah' mean thinking.

OoOoOo mean change of view.

Blah will mean elvish or dream or something like that. You'll tell from the context.

Disclaimer: Me no owny Lord of the Rings.

Chapter 40 Recap:

Abigail stood there, with a hurt expression of shock and sadness. Her eyes were wide but her lips were closed tight in horror.

Aragorn palled. He open and closed his mouth wanting to say something, anything.

"No…wait…A-abby," he tried to form a sentence.

Legolas took a step toward the poor girl, his arm outstretched in a peaceful gesture.

But she only shook her head and caused her auburn hair to cover her dark eyes. She took a few small steps backwards before turning around and sprinting back to the keep, going back to the dead.

Chapter 41:

A Few Moments Earlier

Abigail ran out of the tower, not even waiting for Gimli. The cries of victory were still ringing in her ears. She was proud of the people and proud of herself for overcoming such grave odds. Predicting the future according to the story had given her some relief, and now that it had come true she was simply happy.

Then, there was still the small ache in the back of her heart, the one she hadn't been able to name before. It took the harsh reality of war to help her realize she was in love.

It made her angry, sad and joyful to be in love with Aragorn, she had come to that conclusion. The anxiety of seeing him returned to her mind, but she would try her best to put a brave face and push it aside. The thought of him seeing her as more than a friend wasn't possible. If she had already denied so much about her life, how hard could it be to deny love?

(A/N- Yeah…let's see how long that'll last)

'Just focus,' she told herself. 'Just be grateful that everyone's safe and move forward.'

She still had some adrenaline flowing through her veins. She wanted to see her friends and be able to celebrate a well-earned triumph.

Abigail had been moving without noticing anything. She blinked and realized she had already made it outside.

She carefully kept her gaze upward. The casualties had looked and smelled bad enough from a tower, she tried to avoid dwelling on them when they were so close.

The sky had finally cleared, and only a few shadows of gray clouds remained.

She saw Aragorn and Legolas at the end of the bridge entrance.

She was about to greet them, when she heard Aragorn say something.

"He died…Haldir died…right in front of my eyes-and in my arms," the ranger said, full of remorse.

Abigail stopped.

'What…did he say…" she tried to comprehend.

The mere thought of those words, whether they were true or not, was like a punch to the stomach.

She breathed in sharply, and unwillingly caught their attention.

They turned around, and it seemed like she was the last person they wanted to see.

Legolas looked more surprised than anything, but Aragorn…he looked horrified.

Abigail felt the urge to scream, yell at them for playing a ruthless trick. But her mouth was clamped shut, for from the look in his eyes, he was not joking.

She was faintly aware of Aragorn saying something to her, but it didn't matter.

There was a sudden movement to her left, it was Legolas reaching out, but he could not help.

She shook her head so her hair would cover her eyes. For some reason, she did not want them to see her cry, though there was no way to mask the pain she felt in her entire body.

"He died….he died...he died," the words wouldn't stop repeating themselves.

She backed away, but she could still hear them. Then she turned and ran, trying to escape.

There are children standing here,

Arms outstretched into the sky,

Tears drying on their face.

He has been here.

Brothers lie in shallow graves.

Fathers lost without a trace.

A nation blind to their disgrace,

Since he's been here.

Again, she found she did not know where she was going; she only had to keep moving. She could only imagine the confused faces of the people to see this blood stained girl running and weeping.

She was crying now, fat-salty tears were dripping down her face. Her hair still covering her face, praying to god no one would stop her and see.

And I see no bravery,

No bravery in your eyes anymore.

Only sadness.

The bodies were no longer disgusting. They were only ghosts taunting her, trying to convince her of the awful truth.

The words were still playing in her mind.

"He died, right in front of me…he was right there…in my arms…Haldir died…my father's dead."

'Shut up! Shut up!' she screamed inside. 'It can't be true. I saw him, he said he was fine!'

She could sense the women coming out of the caves, and the sound of sadness and shock was thick in the air.

Houses burnt beyond repair.

The smell of death is in the air.

A woman weeping in despair says,

He has been here.

Tracer lighting up the sky.

It's another families' turn to die.

A child afraid to even cry out says,

He has been here.

Why hadn't she remembered? How many time had she watched that goddamned movie? Why was this all real?

'I should have stayed with him. I was so selfish. I knew something was wrong, and a kept going inside, away from him,' she thought guiltily. 'I could have made a difference. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!'

And I see no bravery,

No bravery in your eyes anymore.

Only sadness.

And then, all to soon, Abigail saw it. The red cloak gleaming against the black blood. She rushed toward him. His body was face down, but she even knew what the back of his head looked like, after all the years of looking up to him.

Instinct told her to check for a pulse, but the evidence was painfully clear. She cautiously grabbed his side, and flipped the body over. She released a low, mournful wail. His pale skin was no longer beautiful, but lifeless. Silver eyes looked up to sky, as if he still hadn't given up.

There are children standing here,

Arms outstretched into the sky,

But no one asks the question why,

He has been here.

Old men kneel and accept their fate.

Wives and daughters cut and raped.

A generation drenched in hate.

Yes, he has been here.

It felt wrong to be here, since it was her fault. She had never looked more useless in her entire life. She picked up Haldir's cold hand.

"You promised this wasn't the end. You said you wouldn't do anything stupid," she whispered. "That includes getting yourself killed!" she yelled suddenly.

"Abby," a voice said quietly to her back. It wasn't a question, he already understood.

Oddly enough, Abigail silently stood and went into his comforting arms without hesitation. She didn't care if he was still awkward or angry with her. All she knew was he would listen and he wouldn't judge, which was what she needed more than anything.

"Authion," she whimpered, only allowing him to see her weakness. "I can't believe…please tell me I'm wrong."

And I see no bravery,

No bravery in your eyes anymore.

Only sadness.

(A/N-Ha! I bet you though it was going to be Aragorn. The song is No Bravery by James Blunt. How eerily perfect are the words? I also realized I have a lot of 'a' names like Aragorn, Abigail, Authion, Arphenon…I hope you don't get too confused.)

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Aragorn leaned heavily against the saddle.

"Elbereth, what have I done?"

"You did not know she was there," Legolas reasoned. "And she would have had to find out sooner or later."

"But not like this. I wanted to give her some time," he groaned.

"Time would not help the blow. Perhaps it is better for it to be over and done," Legolas mused cautiously.

Aragorn rubbed his head. He was saddened by the loss as well. Haldir was a great friend. But the elf had been a father to Abigail.

'She probably hates me.' And that thought devastated him the most right now.

"Should I follow her? Try to make amends?" he said, seeking advice.

Legolas sighed. "The sad truth is that she most likely does not wish to talk to any of us. But Abigail will return when she is ready. She always comes back."

There was silence, and the pair thoughtfully studied the scene that was a field of victory as well as a massacre.

"I suppose you have a point," the ranger said sullenly. "But…she looked so ashamed. Will I still have a chance to explain myself?"

"Patience," was all Legolas said.

Aragorn felt like a boy being scolded. He stood up straight and fixed his belt, hoping he could feel tall again.

"Come, let us find Gandalf. There is much to be discussed," the man said flatly, leading Brego away by the reigns.

The elf prince sighed again. Aragorn did not often get moody, but when he did it was a sympathetic sight. Legolas muttered a short elvish prayer for his fallen elven comrades and for the men as well. Then, he gathered his own reigns and followed Aragorn.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Abigail continued to embrace Authion and soak his shoulder with tears for a good minute.

She finally pulled away and mumbled, "Sorry."

He smiled kindly. "It's nothing, don't worry."

Authion looked so much older, for some reason. It had hardly been a couple months. His blonde hair was darker, with more of a brown tinge. It looked like his face had added some wisdom lines, and his stature seemed taller. However, there was still a spark of mischief in his green eyes.

"I was wondering when I would get to see you again," he spoke next.

She hastily wiped her eyes. "This was not how I wanted to greet you…though I'm surprised you would want to find me," she confessed.

He looked puzzled. "Why would I now want to see you?"

"Well…because of where…how we left off in Lothlorien."

"Oh, right," he shifted his feet. "Well, you were unlike any girl I'd ever met. You were fun, courageous, nice-"

Abigail still managed to blush at a time like this.

"My outburst was because I was afraid of losing you. But then I realized, with some help from Rodwen's fist, that I was afraid of losing my friend. I didn't want to let go of the girl who had grown up with me, even if I was nine times her age."

Abigail didn't know what to say, but only waited until he made his point. He ran a dirty hand through his hair. "I do love you, Abby. You can't blame me for that," he looked up hopefully. "But it's merely the love a big brother would have for his little sister."

She couldn't stand it any longer. She stepped forward and gave him another bear hug.

"Dammit, Authion, you're making me cry again," she whispered.

He chuckled lightly. "It's not my fault you women are so emotional."

"Ahem," a small cough came from behind.

"Father, you're ruining the moment," Authion complained.

Arphenon smiled warily. "My apologies, but the three of us should talk."

"Where's Finwé?" Authion asked, stepping back and turning around.

Abigail was slightly surprise, but should have known better. Finwé was a soldier too. She looked at the old elf, awaiting his answer.

Arphenon merely shook his head, which says it all after a fight. He was 'gone' too.

"Valar guide us. What is this going to do to Rodwen and Ornë," Abigail said lowly, painfully picturing her friend and her young son.

(A/N- I don't think I actually ever named Rodwen's and Finwé's kid. Yeah…so his name in Ornë)

Arphenon shrugged, not knowing how his daughter would react. "I get to be the bearer of much bad news when we get home."

Abigail nodded slowly, and returned to her fathers side. She put a shaky hand over Haldir's eyes, and closed them.

"And to think I could have actually been happy and relieved for a moment today," she wondered out loud.

"Abby," Authion cautioned. For the sake of her sanity, it was not wise to linger around the dead.

She ignored him, and looked to Arphenon.

"Arphenon…I don't want Haldir's(gulp)body to stay here. He deserves better. A proper funeral."

"He was a friend to Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel looked upon him fondly as well. It is not traditional to bring a corpse-"

Arphenon choked on the word corpse, but regained his composure.

"To bring a corpse back, but I doubt few would object," he finished.

Arphenon then walked over to her side, and he gingerly removed a pin from Haldir's cloak. It was the crest symbolizing Haldir's rank as captain. It was the traditional gold leaf, crossed with an arrow, and there were some elvish symbols engraved on the veins of the leaf.

"You were his family. He would want you to have this," he explained. He placed the pin gently in her open palm.

"Thank you," she said softly, and she hugged the shoulder of the elf who had also saved her, all those years ago.

"I'm sure you already know this, but you were one of the friend's he respected the most. He was always happy to have your company," she informed him.

Arphenon smiled. "I'm glad you think so." He walked away, pulling Authion a few steps back with him, so Abigail could have some privacy.

Though nobody directed her, she felt it was time to say goodbye.

She picked up the lifeless hand again and held it tight.

"I'm sorry, Haldir. I didn't save you, but I'll make things right. I promise."

A single tear fell on his pale lips. "Namarie, Àda."

It was her turn to kiss him on the forehead.

Authion watched the final interaction with a heavy heart, but with a bit of worry as well. Those last words had sounded like a cry for revenge. Vengeance and depression did not mix well.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

With the loss of their Captain, the Lorien elves weren't really sure what to do. Basically, the remaining warriors left at their own scattered paces. It wasn't quite the dignified thing to do, but nobody had the heart to change it. This battle had been different, in a mysterious way. Many were left feeling sad and confused.

Arphenon and Authion left through a side door, as to not draw attention to them selves. They had carefully covered Haldir's body with a brown sac. It sounded crude, but it felt more crude to have his pale corpse lying out for all to see.

Abigail had given a small goodbye of her own to the two elves, but not much was said, it wasn't needed.

She watched unmoving as they disappeared over the hills. It had been the longest morning of her life, and she was beginning to feel numb.

"That was another chance for you to leave," Gandalf said.

She wasn't even fazed with the newly white wizard appearing out of nowhere.

"There is still much to be done here," was her cold and simply reply.

"If you are ready and alert, we are putting plans into motion," he told her.

Abigail was faintly surprised at his lack of pity, but at the same time was grateful for it. Maybe he knew her better than he let on.

"To Isengard," she said, not questioning at all.

She could feel Gandalf nodding.

"I'll be up shortly," her voice still practically monotone.

Gandalf sighed and left, realizing this would indeed be a very troubling period.

She merely observed the hills for the moment longer. If you looked straight ahead, the path was still clean. It had avoided the tarnish of the battle.

Abigail had gained a 'brother', reunited with some friends, and lost a father. Some would call that exciting, she just found it painfully annoying.

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Hmm, kind of a moody chapter, but it was full of death so what can you expect. I'm excited for the upcoming chapters, because we're off to Isengard, which means something interesting with Saruman.

Thanks to Reviewers (I had so many, yeah!):

White Blossom of Gondor: I do love the book, but the movie version has some aspects that are good to work with. Love will become more apparent, at least from Abby's POV. I still have some…issues to work out with Aragorn (cough, Arwen, cough). Thanks!

writin4fun15: I'm glad you 'approve' with the death, and I will try me best with the 'relationship blooming'. Thanks for yummy kudos!

ArwenEvenstar83: Yeah, this is where the angst/drama pick up a little bit. I did consider not killing him for a moment, but in the end it is good for the plot to have him dead. I'm glad you don't hate me, thought! Thank you for reviewing!

Samantha-Girl Scout: To be honest, the main reason I had Abby 'forget' he was going to die, was to make you guys sweat. I thought it made it more interesting (and it will serve a small purpose), but I guess in the end it wouldn't' have really mattered. Anway, you also realize if Izzy kills me with the weapons you keep giving her that means no more story. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Jk, thank you!

Jupuffskin: Thanks for the approval, I'm glad you kept reviewing!

Animeotakufreak: I know, the suspense is killing you all. Lol, thanks!

KeeperMusicNight: I was sick of everyone saying "so good to see you", and the beard line just popped in my head, lol. Love and death, it's what every story needs. Hehe, thank you!

ChirikoFan: Good to hear your hooked! Thanks and enjoy!

Narnian Sprite: Yeah, I feel bad that some characters aren't really popping up a lot (including Frodo, Sam, Arwen and some Rohan characters). If I see an opportunity to stick them in I'm taking it! Anway, thanks!

rdawg16: I know Haldir hardly shows up in the books and movies, but I still love him. I know, kind of hypocritical of me. And no need to beg, I will always try to update at least once a week! Thanks!

sister kitty: Hello there, I believe you're a new reviewer! I'm gald your not angry. Haldir may be gone in character, but his spirit is still in the story, I assure you! Thanks!

NightLady-Serenity: Welcome to the review corner! Geez, it makes me happy when somebody had been reading MY story for hours. You remind me of me (Izzy: Oh please, get a room). Lol, no need to get 'weely' mad and I'll try to keep up to good work! Thank you!

KillerRubberDuckiesR-J: Ooo, brother's sound evil. As said before, after the protest I did consider saving Haldir, but I stuck with my original plot. Glad you still fell the love, thanks!

Not too many flames of hatred because of Haldir's death. These things just happen.

Izzy: (snort). Yeah, they happen because you write them that way.

MN9: (glare) My point being that I'm glad you're all still here. Though I can do without her (points accusing finger at Izzy).

Izzy: Ah c'mon, you know you love me.

MN9: Love to strangle you…

Izzy: (raises eyebrow) What?

MN9: Nothing, nothing (hums away)

Until next time!

-MysticNight9

p.s. I just want to say how proud I am of all you reviewers (I got 13 for this chapter!). One more review and I'll be at 200! So thanks to you guys (and you sole readers too), for making me happy during this stressful time of finals! Arigatou (not really sure how to spell it)!