Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.

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Lesson One
Beginners

Unfortunately for Yuki, the Mercedes stationed in the parking lot was the only vehicle available for Shuichi's first driving lesson. To the novelist, it was amazing that a wealthy and famous boy of nineteen had yet to learn how to drive. Nonetheless, if driving got him out of the house for long periods of time…

"Wow Yuki! You're gonna let me drive your Mercedes?" asked Shuichi, awestruck and letting the pretty silver car sink into his violet eyes. "Ahhh! This is so cool! I can't believe you're letting my drive your car! I was gonna tell you we should rent one, but it would probably take longer, y'know? Besides, I don't have insurance! Wait, do you need insurance to rent a car? Do I need insurance to drive your car, huh, Yuki? Cause I don't have insurance. Do I? Dammit Yuki, I don't have car insurance! Can I still drive your car? Huh, Yuki? Yuki? Yuki!"

Yuki stared at him for a long time. "Shut up before I change my mind…" he mumbled before getting into the car.

Shuichi stood outside, wondering what Yuki was doing. "I thought I was driving!"

"You are," Yuki assured him, turning on the car. "But if you drive around here, my insurance company will sue me."

He drove into the first vacant lot that came into sight, which happened to be a high school parking lot. Hm…

Yuki turned off the car and got out. "Get in the driver's seat," he ordered.

Shuichi, only now comprehending the situation, silently crawled over to the driver's seat, and sat his rigid body on the warm leather seat.

Yuki got in the passenger's seat and pulled out a cigarette for his nerves. Securely strapping on his seat belt, he quickly prepared himself mentally for what he was about to do. "Okay. Now…step on the break."

Shuichi stared back at him blankly. "What's that...?" he asked shyly.

Yuki sighed and asked Mex-chick, "Why?"

"Look," he began. "That pedal on the left is the break pedal, and that pedal on the right is the gas pedal," he explained, ignoring his ample vocabulary and replacing it with vague words, hoping Shuichi would understand. "The steering wheel is that...wheel. Even you should know what it's used for."

"Hey! I'm not as dumb as you think!" protested Shuichi, gripping the steering wheel with his sweaty fingers.

His sadistic side wanted to say something back, but he thought better of it, deciding to just get this whole thing over with. "Right...now turn the key forward to turn the car on."

Shuichi did as he was told. However, Yuki had failed to inform him it was not wise to keep pushing the key forward, even if it made the car make a cool roaring noise. "Let go! You're killing my engine!" yelled the writer.

"I'm sorry!" screamed Shuichi, immediately letting go of the key as if it burned.

When they settled down, Yuki spoke once again. "Look, if you're going to act like an idiot—"

"No! I'm sorry, Yuki! I won't do that again!" was Shuichi's frantic response to an imaginary question. In his (almost empty) brain, Yuki was about to give up on him because he was an idiot who didn't even know the difference between the gas pedal and the break pedal. "I don't need you to teach me the car parts! I know them all!" he cried maniacally. "I didn't spend hours in the arcade for nothing! Ahahahahahaha!"

And so, Shuichi Shindou shifted into what he thought was D, and he and his lover watched some trees grow very small as they drove backwards.

"Waaaahhhhhh!" screamed Shuichi.

"...!" Said Yuki, until he said, "Break!"

Perhaps Mercedes windshields are not known for their strength, for those type of cars are more commonly known to be the favorite of people who like to wipe their asses with Benjamins in front of poor folk, but Eiri Uesugi sure was grateful that Shuichi's head didn't go through said windshield when the idiot put his whole weight on the break, all in one forceful step.

"Not that hard, you idiot!" Yuki screamed after making sure he was still alive. "And put your seat belt on! You wanna die?"

"I'm sorry!" Shuichi apologized, whimpering every time he touched his bleeding nose.

It was then that the blonde noticed a queer taste in his teeth and a strange stench in the stratosphere. The taste tasted a lot like his cigarette, and the smell was that of burned rubber. Again he asked, "Why?"

Spitting out the chewed cigarette, Yuki cursed moi and ran his silky fingers through his equally silky hair. He looked at his lover and stared as the punk hastily tried to wipe off crimson stains from the leather seat. Yuki pretended he didn't see anything and continued with the lesson. "Gently let go of the break, and step gently on the gas pedal."

"Huh? Wha? Oh, right!" was Shuichi's thoughtless response and he pushed his foot on the gas pedal as hard as he could.

"I said gently, dammit! GENTLY!"

"Waaaahhhhh!"

To this day, no one knows exactly when the school's marching band set foot on the vacant parking lot, or how they were able to ignore a Mercedes going wild on their premises, but (based on research later done by the blonde) it was certain that the reason the parking lot was empty was because it was to be used by said marching band.

The marchers, dressed in beautiful uniforms of purple and gold, came into view a few seconds before they started to scamper in different directions. Flutes, trumpets, clarinets, drumsticks and other instruments could be seen flying through the air and landing in convenient places for being run over by Mercedes wheels.

Many students managed to escape Shuichi's deranged driving, some by climbing on tables or trees, others by running into the halls or any classroom brave enough to open the door, but others were not so fortunate. "TURN LEFT! TURN LEFT!" screamed Yuki.

"LEFT? LEFT, RIGHT?"

"RIGHT! RIGHT!"

"RIGHT?"

"LEFT!"

"LEFT?"

"RIGHT!"

"I DON'T GET IT!" Shuichi concluded, grabbing his hair and pulling it out.

"DON'T LET GO OF THE FUCKING WHEEL, IDIOT!" Yuki screamed, and grabbed onto the wheel and sharply turned it to the right, narrowly avoiding the screaming and cursing marchers. Now that the marchers were no longer in danger, Yuki focused on the fence that was somehow getting closer and closer to his Mercedes. "Shuichi! Go to the backseat!" he commanded.

Crying, Shuichi did as he was told, and Yuki somehow managed to stop the car without making it roll over and missed the fence by four inches.

After his life stopped flashing through his eyes, Yuki turned to lookto the dumbass that had endangered his Mercedes. "You..."

But he couldn't unleash his wrath right now. No. He had to go get his car's interior fixed. The punk's bloodstains were bad enough, but he would not tolerate the sight or smell of urine for long.

End of Lesson One

Sorry! I know this is rushed, but I hate my computer because computers hate me. So, uh...review please!

Adios!