Disclaimer: Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! I do not own Gravi! Happy birthday to me!
SUMMARY: Shuichi gets everyone (well, almost) into the Christmas spirit and goes out with the gang to get everyone else in Japan feeling all mushy and fuzzy for the holidays. Except, things unfortunately cough turn out the other way…
This story is dedicated to all who celebrate this holiday either because they have to or just for the hell of it, and to those who love Gravitation and my insane one-shots. Enjoy! Happy Chrismahanikwanzika!
A Crazy Christmas
"Yuki?"
"What?"
"Are we gonna do anything special for Christmas?"
"Isn't that a Christian holiday?"
"So? Who cares?"
"I do, punk. Or did you forget I'm a Buddhist?"
Shuichi, who had been sitting surprisingly silent (much to the writer's appreciation), started with his daily argument of the day. "As if you give a rat's ass as to your religion!"
Yuki said nothing, just smirked and continued typing in his laptop. However, Shuichi wasn't about to drop the subject. "You just don't want to spend some special time with me!" he whined, letting his head drop into a position of defeat.
For a long time, not one said a thing. All that could be heard was the constant tap-tap of Yuki's fingers on his keyboard. Finally, Yuki stole a glance at his lover, sighed, and stopped typing. He took off his glasses slowly. "What kind of 'special time' did you have in mind?" he asked with his serious eyes closed.
Shuichi looked up at Yuki with big, violet, puppy-dog eyes. Yuki gulped, a huge wave of fear suddenly taking over his being. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked him, slowly edging away from the source of his fear. However, the punk would not stop staring at him, which left Yuki to resort to insults. "Are you trying to look like an idiot? Because it's working." Still, the pink-haired singer said nothing, and kept staring at Yuki with those eyes. Eyes that had really started to get on the novelists' nerves. "Stop looking at me like that! You're freaking me out!"
"Oh, YUKI!" screamed Shuichi suddenly, and jumped to him to lock him in a tight, airless, embrace. "So we can have 'special time'?" he asked hysterically.
"Geh ofha mi!" Yuki tried to yell.
"What was that? Was that a 'YES'? Oh, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I'll go get started on everything for Christmas Eve okay!"
With that said, Shuichi spun out the door, came back five seconds later to give the writer a smack on the lips, and spun out the door again. Yuki sat there breathing heavily and stared intently at the doorway as if expecting the hyper teenager to return. He ran a hand through his now messy hair and looked up to the ceiling. "What have I done?"
N-G BUILDING
"YOU WHAT!"
"And he agreed?"
Shuichi crossed his arms over his chest and held his chin up proudly. "He sure did," he said to Hiro. Sakano, after yelling, "YOU WHAT!" again, fainted. "So, K. What do you have to say about this?" asked Shuichi.
The American had been calmly sitting down on a chair with his arms crossed over his chest and his sunglasses covering his eyes completely. His head was slumped down as if in deep thought. Shuichi waited for K to respond.
For five long minutes Shuichi waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. He waited so long, actually, that it took K to fall off his chair for him to realize that K had indeed been sleeping.
"K! WAKE UP, DAMMIT!" Shuichi screamed, kicking his manager and sending him flying out the window.
Poor Sakano had woken up just in time to see what Shuichi had done and had a heart attack. Hiro screamed and Shuichi just stared as K flew out the window. "Uh-oh..." whispered Shuichi.
"Oh no! You killed K! You bastard!" yelled Hiro, pointing a finger at Shuichi.
"WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!" he screamed, pulling his pink hair out of his head.
"Well, don't just stand there! Go outside and catch him!" Hiro yelled at Shuichi.
As Sakano recovered, Shuichi stated, "You're right!" and jumped out the window as well. Then Sakano had another heart attack.
"WAAHH! What'd you do that for, you idiot!" Shuichi could hear Hiro scream.
Hiro ran to poke his head out the window as he screamed, "SHUICHIIIIIIIIIIII!" and extended his hand, wishing Shuichi could grasp it.
"WAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed a crying Shuichi. "I THINK I PEED MY PANTS!"
Hiro looked down and saw that Shuichi had landed on K, who was still sleeping like a stupid baby. It truly was lucky they were only on the first floor of N-G.
TEN MINUTES LATER
"No wonder I have grass stains on my clothes!" laughed K, pointing to the green stains on his white shirt. Hiro and Shuichi had told him the whole deal while trying to get Sakano into his normal, jittery self. Unfortunately, the paramedics had not given them much hope. "So then Yuki-san truly agreed?"
"Yes! He did!" squeaked Shuichi happily.
"You mean, you actually got him to agree to sing?"
A bolt of lightning had suddenly struck Shuichi, it seemed, as he turned stiff. His face started to sweat and he started to fidget with his hands. "O-of course, K-san! He was very uh...excited," he stuttered, avoiding any kind of possible eye contact as his eyeballs rotated to look at different places of the room.
"You couldn't lie if your career depended on it!" laughed K.
"Well...the deal was that if I cold get Yuki to agree to spend time with me on Christmas Eve, you would give me the day off to do whatever I wanted! You didn't say that I had to tell him anything about the Christmas carols!"
"Wait," said Hiro as if suddenly realizing something important, "you said Yuki-san agreed to spend some time with you, right? What exactly did you have in mind?"
"Y'know? That's exactly what Yuki said," said Shuichi. "Do you think that maybe he'd agree to come along and sing Christmas carols with us?"
"What do you mean us?" asked Hiro, smirking. "And I doubt Yuki-san loves you enough to sing to a bunch of strangers."
"WHAT! DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?" cried Shuichi, his huge violet eyes filled with unshed tears.
"Chill, dude, I'm just joking!" said Hiro hastily.
"Well, since you did your part, Shuichi, I guess I have no choice but to do mine," said K, interrupting the two best friends. "Christmas Eve is tomorrow, so meet me here at five o'clock sharp!"
"Who else is coming?" asked Hiro as K walked out the door.
"Well...K is, of course. Yuki is, if I can convince him. Fugisaki might come. Sakano was supposed to come. And K-san said a 'special someone' was also supposed to come. And you...if you want." Shuichi finished, looking up hopefully at his best friend.
Hiro smiled down at Shuichi. "Don't worry. I'll be there," he said.
"Yay! I knew I could count on you Hiro! And you can bring anyone you want! The more the merrier!" said Shuichi excitedly. "SEE YOU TOMORROW!" And he ran out the door.
THE NEXT DAY
Why Shuichi decide to go to N-G Productions for their "special time," Yuki continued to wonder. He and his lover where now inside the building, apparently waiting for some other unknown visitor.
"How much longer are we going to stay here?" Yuki asked, for he was now very bored.
"I dunno! K said he would be here a five o'clock sharp!" said Shuichi, frowning at the impatient writer.
"So what time is it now?" asked Yuki. Shuichi looked at his watch.
"Six-thirty," mumbled Shuichi.
Yuki groaned. "What are we doing here anyway?" he asked.
"Just wait and see," said Shuichi, intertwining his arms into Yuki's arm and squeezing it.
"It better not be something stupid," said Yuki, adjusting his sunglasses with his free hand, "like dancing or singing."
Before Shuichi could cry his eyes out, his friends came waltzing in. Literally.
"Hey, Shuichi! We were just practicing for the party after this shebang!" exclaimed Ryuichi Sakuma, twirling around hysterically with Kumagoro.
"RYUICHI?! RYUICHI SAKUMA?!" Yes. Ryuichi. Ryuichi Sakuma. The Ryuichi Sakuma. Wha! I (the writer) am so excited! And so was Shuichi, it seemed, as he ran over to Ryuichi and praised him for the rock god that he was. If I were fictional, I would too.
"Yo, Shuichi! You like my present?" asked K, a smirk of success on his face.
"YES!" Shuichi managed to say, as he continued to grovel at Ryuichi's feet, "CAN I KEEP HIM?"
"Hell no!" laughed K, "He has a big concert coming up next week!"
For no reason anyone in room could grasp, Shuichi started to cry. "Dude! Don't cry! You're gonna make me cry!" said Ryuichi in a fruitless attempt to make Shuichi stop crying, be it in joy or pain. "Here! Your present from me!" he exclaimed and he handed Shuichi a teddy bear.
Okay, since I don't want to extend this any longer with pointless humor, I'll let you know who else was in the room. Hiro was there, with his guitar. He had planned on spending Christmas Eve with Ayaka, but then thought about it and decided it would be better if they spent Christmas together instead. K had convinced Ryuichi to come, which he did, of course. Tatsuha invited himself as soon as I finished typing the sentence before this. I used my influence as the author of this story, and with a little help from my good friend, K, to convince Fugisaki to attend. He will be taking care of his traumatized producer, Sakano. (Thanks for the gun, K!)
Anyway, Yuki did not know what in the world was going on, but he knew it was something stupid. Shuichi and his friends were involved, so it was already guaranteed to be a fiasco. 'Well, whatever it is,' Yuki thought, trying his best to be optimistic, 'I'll forget it soon enough.'
"Yuki! Take off your sunglasses!" Shuichi urged the blonde man. "You look creepy!"
"Do you want some crazy fan of mine to spot me and 'ruin the moment'?" Yuki asked him.
"No! Of course not! But I want to see your face!" pleaded Shuichi, his face turning into a cute pout.
Yuki rolled his eyes and took off his sunglasses. "There. Happy?"
"Yes!" squealed Shuichi, looking up at his lover's beautiful jade eyes.
"Quit staring at me like that, you punk!" yelled Yuki.
"AWW!" cooed K, his blue eyes watching the two lovebirds. "Such a romantic moment!" he said to no one in particular.
"Well, let's get this show on the road!" said Ryuichi happily, holding up Kumagoro.
"I agree! Let's go now!" joined in Tatsuha.
"Yes, please. Let's get this over with now," mumbled Fugisaki. "Sakano-san, please stay close to me," he said, watching as Sakano tried helplessly to escape.
"This is going to be a long night," Hiro mumbled to himself, adjusting his guitar strap.
"C'mon people, we don't have all day!" shouted K, "Let's go to our first stop!" And they all walked two blocks to where the first neighborhood would experience a once in a lifetime event.
"Okay!" shouted K, gathering everyone in front of a two story house. "Let's start. The first song will be, the 'Twelve Days of Christmas'!" he happily implied. "Everyone please turn to page five of the book Fugisaki is now handing out."
"Hey...wait a minute..." started Yuki, shifting his gaze from the book in his hands to the idiot who had convinced him to come to this place. "Is this what you meant by 'special time'?" he asked as he started to get annoyed.
However, Shuichi wisely decided not to respond and proceeded to sing the song as Hiro started with his guitar.
"On the first day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
A partridge in a pear tree."
Soon, everyone, including Sakano and with the exception of Yuki, started to sing.
"On the second day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Two turtle doves
And a Partridge in a pear tree."
"You really are an idiot," said Yuki to his young lover. Shuichi, however hurt he was, pretended not to listen.
"On the third day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Three French Hens,
Two turtle doves
And a Partridge in a pear tree."
"Please sing, Yuki!" begged Shuichi, "This is very special to me!"
"On the fourth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Four calling birds,
Three French Hens,
Two turtle doves
And a Partridge in a pear tree."
Yuki, as pissed off as he was, could not help but listen to Shuichi. Some part of him wanted the punk to be happy, while another part of him told him not to yield to the asinine pleads of the crazy teenager.
"On the fifth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French Hens,
Two turtle doves
And a Partridge in a pear tree."
And, no matter how convincing the sadistic part of him was...
"On the sixth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Six geese a laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French Hens,
Two turtle doves
And a Partridge in a pear tree."
The part of him that wanted his punk to be happy won.
"On the seventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Seven swans a swimming,
Six geese a laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French Hens,
Two turtle doves
And a Partridge in a pear tree."
Much to everyone's surprise, Yuki put his arm around Shuichi, and began to sing.
"On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Eight maids a milking,
Seven swans a swimming,
Six geese a laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French Hens,
Two turtle doves
And a Partridge in a pear tree."
The people living in the lucky home that had been randomly chosen by K came out to greet their carolers. Unfortunately, girls inhabited that particular building. Twenty-five teenage girls to be exact. And, as fate would have it, those 25 girls were hardcore fans of Yuki's. With their fan-girl, ultra hawk-eyed vision, they spotted their master.
"Omigod!"
"It's Yuki Eiri-sensei!"
Shuichi knew by experience what would happen next, so he grabbed a hold of Yuki's arm, and ran. Ryuichi, Tatsuha, Hiro, and Fugisaki soon followed them. K stayed behind with Sakano (K had to carry him now) shooting the crazy teenagers as they tried to run after their god.
After 15 long and tiresome minutes, they all stopped to rest from their narrow escapade. Then K caught up.
"K! $#&$#!" screamed Shuichi as he fought desperately to escape from the grasps of Hiro. He was holding him back to prevent his friend from killing or being killed.
"Well, that certainly was something!" laughed K, the only one, except Ryuichi, to find the whole situation amusing.
"I never get tired of it!" exclaimed Ryuichi.
"So you like being chased, Sakuma-san?" began Tatsuha.
"Anyway, our next target is three doors down from here," said K, leading the way to the next victim, I mean, lucky home.
The house was nicely adorned with lights and Christmas decorations. They even had that whole reindeer set on their roof, lights on the house and the trees, and the snow that had fallen in the morning did the house well, illuminating the cozy-looking home further. This certainly was a hardcore Christmas family.
"Okay people, the next song on our list is on page fourteen. Let's begin!" said K, pulling out a Santa Claus hat and adjusting it on his head.
"You better not shout, you better not cry
you better not pout I'm telling you why!"
"How long are we going to do this for?" asked Yuki. Shuichi looked up at him.
"Santa Claus is coming to town,
Santa Claus is coming to town,
Santa Claus is coming to town."
"Yuki...can you at least pretend you're enjoying yourself?" he asked.
"He's making a list, he's checkin' it twice,
He's gonna find out whose naughty or nice,"
"Isn't it enough that I'm here?" he asked. "Aren't you happy yet?"
"Santa Claus is coming to town,
Santa Claus is coming to town,
Santa Claus is coming to town."
Shuichi smiled up at Yuki and grabbed a Santa Clause hat he had stuffed in his jacket.
"He sees you when you're sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,"
Shuichi put the Santa Claus hat on Yuki's head. "Now I am!"
"He knows if you've been bad or good,
You'd better be good for goodness sake."
As soon as they finished singing that last verse, a man came out of the house. "Is that why I haven't been able to catch that fat bastard!"
All eight men looked up at the crackpot of a guy. He was a very pompous man, his age might have ranged from thirty to forty years, and he was wearing pajamas with little rocket ships on them and he had on a little red cap. In short, he looked like an oversized toddler.
"Ever since I was eight, I've been waiting for that fatso to come tumbling down my chimney. I even go overboard on decorations to make him come here first!" he hollered, pointing to the beautiful Christmas decorations. "I will never forget that year when he brought me NO PRESENTS!" he cried.
"Look, dude, we're uh...sorry Santa didn't bring you a present..." began Hiro in an attempt to calm the hysteric man down. However, it only served to excite the guy even more as he screamed, "HE SENT YOU DIDN'T HE! YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS!" He took out a control remote and pressed a big, red button.
The eyes of the cute little reindeers that were set on the roof of the house all of a sudden lit up to a dangerous crimson blaze. And just as suddenly as they their killer eyes lit up, they all flew down onto the lawn, right in front of the eight alarmed men.
"GET THEM, MY FAITHFUL MACHINES!"
Dasher and Dancer chased Tatsuha and Ryuichi. Prancer and Vixen chased Yuki and Shuichi. Comet chased Fugisaki. Cupid chased Hiro. Donder chased K. Blitzen chased Sakano. It was quite a sight to see really; eight grown men being chased by eight mechanical reindeer controlled by a deranged old man.
"K! DO SOMETHING!" screamed Shuichi, dragging Yuki by the arm as Dasher and Dancer shot laser beams from their eyes at them.
K grabbed his handgun and jumped up high in the air. He landed perfectly on the back of Donder, and rode it like a pony. "YEEE HAW!" he hollered, and spanked the behind of Donder. "Come Dasher, come Dancer, come Prancer and Vixen," started K, shooting his gun aimlessly in the air. "Come Comet, come Cupid, come Donder and Blitzen!"
Strangely enough, all eight reindeer responded to K's calling as they all lined up in chronological order to their names. K jumped off of Donder's back and yelled, "Be quick with your suppers! Get hitched in a hurry! You, too, will find fog a delay and a worry!" Perhaps it was their programming, or perhaps it was K. Whatever it was, it made the reindeer fly off that night with no sleigh.
"COME BACK MY PRECIOUS!" screamed the man and he chased after his robots.
Yuki began to wonder if even the love the punk claimed he felt for him was worth all the chaos that was being unleashed this Christmas Eve.
"WAAAAAHHHHHHH! YUKI! I WAS SOOOO SCARED!" Shuichi cried, embracing Yuki with all his might.
"What the hell! Stop that! Your snot is getting all over me!" screamed Yuki, pushing his face away from the snot covered one of Shuichi's.
"But, but, but," began Shuichi, not removing himself from the writer's being, no matter how much he attempted to pry him off.
"Shuichi, this is getting out of hand. Let's just do one more song and then go home," said Hiro, picking up his guitar from the snow.
"Yes. I think it'd be in everyone's best interest to finish this as soon as possible," said Sakano, who had given in to the crazy situations he was constantly caught up in. If you can't beat them, join them.
"Yes! Let's hurry! Kumagoro is getting cold!" said Ryuichi, holding Kumagoro close to his body so he wouldn't catch a cold.
"If you're cold, Sakuma-san, we can keep each other warm by staying close together..." implied Tatsuha, snuggling close to the rock star.
"K. I don't care if you or that crazy author shoot me. I'm going home!" cried Fugisaki, and he ran away. It didn't take long for K to catch him though. A shot in the leg was more than enough to stop him.
"Anyway, we should hurry up!" said K, heaving Fugisaki over his shoulder.
They walked just a few houses down from the one they had just sang in, each hoping that in that house the owners were not deranged.
"Okay. For our final act, we will sing the song on page seventeen!" announced K.
"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus,
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep,
She thought that I was tucked up
In my bedroom fast asleep."
A man came out of the house. It seemed he lived alone. He just stood there, watching the men sing.
"Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white,
Oh, what a laugh it would have been,
If Daddy had only seen,
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night."
Then, the guy smiled. "Look, Yuki! I think we finally found someone who likes our singing!" said Shuichi, jumping up and down and pointing at the man.
"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus,
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep,
She thought that I was tucked up
In my bedroom fast asleep."
"Please...STOP SINGING THAT STUPID SONG!"
"Oh, no..." sighed Fugisaki.
"Should we run now?" Ryuichi asked Kumagoro. He nodded.
"WHY MOMMA? WHY DID YOU CHEAT ON DADDY WITH SANTA OF ALL MEN?"
"This neighborhood is full of nutcases!" cried Shuichi, tugging idly at his pink hair.
Then, the guy pulled out a bazooka.
"It's every man for himself now!" yelled K, pulling out his gun. "Except you," he pointed at Fugisaki, who was trying to drag himself away. Don't forget. K shot him.
"I can't believe this shit!" said Yuki and he rolled his eyes. This time, it was he who took Shuichi's arm and ran for it. Hiro ran with Sakano in his arms (he had fainted). Ryuichi was running away with Kumagoro and Tatsuha was not far behind. K stayed behind to have some fun with the crazy man. And it was like K said. To each his own.
Fortunately for the writer and the singer, their home had not been far from the homes Shuichi was hell bent in singing for. Both ran in, gasping for breath. Constant gunshots and loud explosions could be heard in the distance.
"You...are..."
"An idiot, I know," interrupted Shuichi as he plopped himself down on the couch.
"Damn right, you are!" continued Yuki. "What the hell were you thinking?"
"I'm sorry, Yuki!" Shuichi pleaded, his eyes starting to tear up. "I just wanted to spend some time with the people I cherish the most..."
Yuki said nothing, and walked over to the couch to sit down as well.
"Y'know, Yuki? Christmas isn't just about Christians or presents or Christmas carols..." said Shuichi, edging towards his lover ever so slowly. "It's about—"
"I know, I know. 'Spending time with the people you cherish the most,' right?" he said placidly, lighting up a cigarette.
"Yeah! I'm glad you agree!" Shuichi smiled. "But I still got you a present!" he said, and he reached under the sofa and pulled out a beautifully wrapped box. "Merry Christmas!" he said and he extended his arms to hand Yuki his gift.
"Uh...thanks." said Yuki, taking the box from the happy singer. "I uh...got you a present too."
At that, Shuichi's eyes lit up with pure, stainless joy. A huge grin had formed on his face as he asked, "WHERE?"
"Dude, don't scream. It's in the closet in my office," he said, and Shuichi flew off the couch and into Yuki's office.
He would not get curious. He had sworn he would not get curious. But knowing Shuichi, it was certain to be something strange. And Yuki liked to experiment. He gently shook the box Shuichi had given him just as Shuichi himself came twirling back into the living room.
"Can I open mine first!" cried out Shuichi, hugging the box he had in his grasps.
"Hey, hey! Don't smash it!" said a stratled Yuki, his eyes widening as Shuichi ripped open his gift. Then, Yuki's present jumped out of the box.
"WHAAA! GET IT OFFA ME!" screamed a startled Shuichi.
"Hold on! I'll get it off!" said Yuki, and he stood up to pry the animal from Shuichi's face.
"IT...IT TICKLES!" Shuichi laughed!
When Yuki was finally able to get it off of his face, Shuichi saw that he had in his hands an adorable, golden-colored puppy. So Yuki was listening all those times he had whined about getting a puppy! "Yuki! It's so cute!" he screamed.
"Yeah. Your welcome," he said, sitting back down and eyeing the gift Shuichi had given him.
"Okay! Go ahead and open yours, Yuki!" said Shuichi, playing with his new puppy.
Yuki carefully torn open the wrapping paper. He opened the box and inside was...
"A pink sweater?"
"Not just any pink sweater, mind you!" laughed Shuichi, grabbing the sweater from the box. He showed it to Yuki. "Look! It says: SHUICHI AND YUKI 4EVER!" he said proudly.
Yuki could not find the words to describe his gift. And neither could I. Just imagine the rich, and very fine, Eiri Yuki, wearing a pink sweater with the words 'SHUICHI AND YUKI 4EVER!' on it. Another way of saying, "Look at me world! I'm gay!"
"I chose pink so it would remind you of me whenever you wear it," he laughed, running a hand through his gorgeous pink hair.
"You expect me to wear this?" said Yuki taking back his pink sweater, "In public?" he added.
"Yuki!" whined Shuichi, "Why must you destroy my happiness?"
Yuki looked over at Shuichi and sighed. "I'll only wear it today."
"And tomorrow?" added Shuichi hopefully.
Yuki was about to argue, but Shuichi's hopeful face melted his desire to see him crumble. "And tomorrow," he said.
"And the whole week?" Shuichi asked.
"Don't push it, punk," warned the writer.
"Thank you, Yuki!" cried Shuichi, and he moved to embrace his lover. "I'm so happy!"
The puppy watched them as his new master embraced the blonde guy. As if understanding that this was supposed to be a private moment, it ran off into the kitchen. Shuichi snuggled closer to Yuki and rubbed his head in Yuki's chest gently. "I love you, Yuki," murmured Shuichi, smiling gently in the writer's arms. Yuki said nothing, but smiled and pulled Shuichi closer, and he locked his lover in a long, passionate kiss. Shuichi understood what it meant. He knew it was Yuki's was of saying, "I love you, too."
FIN
Yup, yup. That's it. Happy holidays! What do I want for Christmas, you ask? Well, since it's my birthday on X-mas Eve, and Christmas the day after, I think I deserve some nice, long reviews. Please? Thank you!
Adios!