I probably should mention that the title of my story is from the song Everything by Fefe Dobson, she is amazing and you should check out her stuff. I've also used some from RENT, Flyleaf (Check them out!), Foo Fighters, Sheryl Crowe, and Garbage (Shirley Manson is a goddess!). This one is a section of the Song Road Trippin' by The Red Hot Chili Peppers, I don't know who originally did this one.

Why They Call It Falling

Chapter Nine: Let's Go Get Lost

"You want another kiss or something?" Paige asks raising an eyebrow. She means it, but Alex can't tell if she is just kidding or if she is requesting a kiss.

"Why?" Alex says, putting the pressure back on Paige.

"Maybe we should get these guys going." She says with a mischievous smile. She loved using perverted boys to her advantage. The movie wound down and the lights came back on and everyone started to talk and laugh. Suddenly Paige flung a leg over Alex, straddling her lap. She remembers the way Alex's hands had squeezed her thighs and how it had made her feel so she does the same to Alex. She gets the same reaction, her body rises and she gasps. Paige presses herself onto Alex, making each girl want to scream. She begins to lower her mouth to Alex's. That is when a vision of red hair and cherry lips pops into her head.

"Whoa, I can't do this…" Alex whispers standing up, knocking Paige to the ground.

"What's your issue hun?" Paige asks. All of the guys in the room start to boo.

"I'm just teasing them" Alex laughs. She always has been pretty good at lying. All of the guys in the room (excluding Dylan of course) boo even louder and laugh as Alex smiles and helps Paige up.

"That was such a good movie." Alex says trying to make simple conversation.

"Yeah… it was alright. Marco will be the best Angel ever." Paige says.

"I think I'm gonna walk home." Alex says after a long pause.

"I can drive you…" Paige starts to gather her things.

"No, I live really close to here I don't want you to have to leave. See you later." She says with a casual wave.

"Yeah, see ya." She says sitting back down. She had really wanted to take her home, she was thinking of really kissing her. It was too late though. She could tell how uncomfortable Alex had been. She sighed as she watched her walk out the door.

I should tell you I have always loved you… you can see it in my eyes…

When Alex finally closes the door behind her, she tries desperately to catch her breath. She couldn't show Paige that every time she looked at her, she couldn't breathe. She couldn't tell her that it hurt so bad to sit next to her because she couldn't take just talking to her and not being able to touch her and kiss her. And she couldn't kiss her… not just because she was afraid anymore but because of one more thing… Ellie Nash.

"Craig, where've you been lately?" Marco asks over the phone.

"I've been around, just not when Ellie is. I don't want to bother her," He says.

"She is upset with you obviously but you know Ellie, she wouldn't want you to miss out on anything. Hang out with us tomorrow please?" Marco says.

"Maybe for awhile. It's kind of hard for me to be around her right now. I miss her so much it kills me to be close to her and know how bad I messed everything up. Will you tell her that? She listens to you." Craig says.

"I might but Craig, I'm pretty much with Ellie on this one. You didn't appreciate her at all." Marco says.

"I know I know. But you also know how much I love her and how sorry I am." Craig says.

"Well I don't have much to fight against with that. Can I ask you something?" Marco asks.

"Shoot." He responds.

"What ever happened with you and Manny. She's pretty open with me about everything… except that." Marco says it softly, he knows what a touchy subject it is.

"She really has never talked to you about us?" Craig asks.

"No, I ask her about it and she shuts down completely. What happened?" Marco asks.

"Well, Ashley was my first real love. It was a toxic relationship though as you know. And one night when Ashley wasn't there for me, Manny was. I regretted it so much afterwards, it was only like two weeks before that I had lost my virginity to Ashley. But in that, me and Manny had a connection. When no one else was there for me Manny was. We were over then for quite awhile, completely over. That's when I started to fall for Ellie. Ellie was different. She was vulnerable and she needed me, and yet at the same time, she was so much stronger than I could ever dream of being and she held me up. Ellie expressed interest. At the same time, Manny came to me and expressed her undying love for me. Without even thinking, as though it was some sort of habit I kissed her. I didn't want to. I wanted to tell her about Ellie and apologize but instead I kissed her. I got really upset about the whole situation and went to a party and got drunk. Darcy was there, this was before Spinner and before her born again days. I barely remember it, but apparently we got pretty close to having sex. I passed out. Manny found out and had thought that we were together and that I cheated on her when really I never wanted her in the first place. It was horrible of me and I feel badly about it but Manny was bad for me and I needed out." Craig says. He had never told the whole story at once before. The only other person who knew it all was Ellie.

"Wow…" Marco says.

"What are you thinking?" Craig asks after a long pause.

"I understand why Manny was so upset now. I wouldn't want to talk about it either." Marco says. It makes him want to go find Manny and hold her because he understands that pain.

"So do you hate me now?" Craig asks.

"No. You've always stood by me and I will stand by you. You ever do this to Ellie I will have you killed." Marco says quite seriously.

"Like I'd even have the chance. I miss her I just… really miss her." He says running a hand through his hair.

"I'll tell her. I'll definitely tell her okay?" Marco says seeing that Craig was genuinely sorry.

"Thank you. I have to go. Thank you so much." He says.

"It's no problem really. Ciao." Marco says hanging up the phone.

I'm sober… so why do I still want her? Ellie thinks to herself holding her pillow and staring into space. She doesn't remember everything about that night but she remembers everything about Alex, every movement she made, and every word that she spoke. She wanted to wrap her arms firmly around Alex's ribcage and feel her body rise against her own. She had never had any desires for a female like this and it terrified her. It says in the bible that homosexuality is wrong and she'd always believed that. She supported those who had made the choice because the bible also says not to judge and to love everyone but it was never for her until Alex Nunez had to come in and ruin everything. She had always been so sure of herself in that area until she was holding Alex in her arms.

She closes her eyes and pushes her emotions into her stomach. It hurts so badly but she won't show it… she is determined not to show it. She drifts into a light and unsettled sleep. Her eyes move back and forth underneath her eyelids as she begins to dream. In her dream she smells smoke. It startles her and she runs down stairs. She realizes that it is the exact same scene as when her mother set the house on fire and she is terrified. She runs instinctively to the kitchen, but there is no fire in there just smoke. She runs all over her house trying to find the fire and her mother. She realizes that she hadn't come from her bedroom and it was the only room that she hadn't checked. She runs up the stairs and sees that her door has 20 locks, each one as large as a bowling ball. Some gold catches her eye and she looks to a chain around her neck. Hanging from the chain is a large, brass, skeleton key. She somehow knows that it is the only one like it. She unlocks them as quickly as possible seeing smoke billowing from under her door. When she flings her door open, the intensity and fear falls away. There is no more smoke. Everything is perfectly clear. Inside the room hanging from everything… snakes. Dully colored snakes are everywhere. When she sees then, she is at peace. They make her happy. She quickly shuts the door behind her and locks it up. She then walks around with a gentle smile admiring the snakes. She pets some of them, letting her fingers glide underneath there shiny chins. Then one of them crawls up her arm. She smiles at it. Then another comes. It bites down on her key and pulls it off of her neck. She reaches over to peel it away but every time that she gets one of them off of her three more climb on. She starts to panic and cry but they won't leave her alone. She doesn't want them but they won't leave her. She hears a lion's roar.

"Help me!" She screams under a blanket of snakes.

Before she even knows what is happening all of the snakes are gone and she is wrapped in the warm paws of the lion. She cries into his fur and she has never felt more soothed before. He drops her key from his mouth and smiles a whiskery smile. She knows what he wants her to do with it…

She lets out a gasp as she sits up and looks around her room. She had almost expected to find snakes hanging all over because the dream felt so real to her. She rubbed her arms to get the scaly feeling off of her. She shudders at the thought. She had never been afraid of snakes before, they had never occurred in her dreams. She was a firm believer in dreams having meaning so she quickly wrote this one down. She went to sleep with one person who wouldn't leave her mind… Alex.

Alex knew that she had to talk to Ellie. She had to talk to her about the drinking, and she also knew that they had to discuss the kissing. She hangs her messenger bag in her locker mind drifting around random topics. She keeps thinking about what she will say to Ellie. She looks up and sees Ellie turn the corner; a smile on her face, red curls bouncing, books held to her chest. She has to bite her bottom lip to suppress a groan. As she walks by, she smiles at her. Alex can hardly hold herself back from her.

"Al." She is startled by Marco's voice.

"What were you looking at?" He asks suspiciously.

"Nothing I was just dazed. Come on." She says with a smile. They head to class and Marco forgets all about it.

After a long day of thinking and working, Alex sits on a bench just outside of the school doors. The sun is just starting to dim casting a brilliant orange light all around. Alex really enjoys this time of day; it's just so pretty. She loves the color orange. She is lost in thought when from the corner of her eye she sees her friends approaching her. Paige's hair shines in the sunlight. Craig's skin glows orange and the light bounces off of Ellie's glossy lips. Marco follows them and Manny hugs him goodbye then gently and shyly smiles and waves at Paige. Paige waves back and they stand looking at each other for a minute and they both smile. Then Manny walks away. Alex smiles at them.

"Hey Alex." A few of them say as they sit on and around the bench. It's another one of those times that she wants to freeze.

She scans the faces of her friends. Craig, the funniest boy that she knew. Marco, The boy with a golden heart. Jimmy, so strong and so courageous. Paige, the one that's out of reach. And then Ellie, the girl who had grabbed her hand…

"Ellie, I really need to talk to you." Alex says. Ellie smiles and leans her body closer to Alex.

"Let's go get lost." She says with a slight smile.

They walk away hand in hand. Everyone looks up wondering where they are going, but no one says anything. They couldn't have told them where they were going anyway because they didn't know themselves. They just felt safe and happy walking with no destination and no expectations. Alex's skin tingled every time Ellie touched her though it wasn't even intentional. They were just walking so close that from time to time their legs would graze each other. They stop when they are in town and in front of an older looking brick tattoo parlor. They walk into the narrow ally next to it and Alex leans against the wall.

"I really needed to talk to you. Mainly about the drinking thing. I shouldn't have let you drink and I won't let you again. I'm sorry that I let my stuff affect you like that." Alex says.

"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" Ellie asks.

"Well I was wondering about… us. And how you were feeling now that you're sober." Alex doesn't get to finish. Ellie just smiles and puts her mouth on Alex's.

She presses every inch of her body against Alex pressuring her into the building. Alex licks her lips begging for entrance. Ellie opens her mouth and their mouth dance together in a dance that only they know the steps to. Alex wrapped her arms around Ellie's waist pulling her even closer. Their senses heightened, they could hear every sound, smell every scent, see all the colors and feel every move as though it was the very first time. All that they wanted in that moment was each other and they didn't care what anyone else thought. Ellie felt herself falling away from everything that she once believed because, if this was so wrong, then how could it feel so right?