Not Gonna Wait For You Forever
Chapter Eleven:
In her dream she smells smoke. It startles her and she runs down stairs. She realizes that it is the exact same scene as when her mother set the house on fire and she is terrified. She runs instinctively to the kitchen, but there is no fire in there just smoke. She runs all over her house trying to find the fire and her mother. She realizes that she hadn't come from her bedroom and it was the only room that she hadn't checked. She runs up the stairs and sees that her door has 20 locks, each one as large as a bowling ball. Something gold catches her eye and she looks to a chain around her neck. Hanging from the chain is a large, brass, skeleton key. She somehow knows that it is the only one like it. She unlocks them as quickly as possible seeing smoke billowing from under her door. When she flings her door open, the intensity and fear falls away. There is no more smoke. Everything is perfectly clear. Inside the room hanging from everything… snakes. Dully colored snakes are everywhere. When she sees them, she is at peace. They make her happy. She quickly shuts the door behind her and locks it up. She then walks around with a gentle smile admiring the snakes. She pets some of them, letting her fingers glide underneath there shiny chins. Then one of them crawls up her arm. She smiles at it. Then another comes. It bites down on her key and pulls it off of her neck. She reaches over to peel it away but every time that she gets one of them off of her three more climb on. She starts to panic and cry but they won't leave her alone. She doesn't want them but they won't leave her. She hears a lion's roar.
"Help me!" She screams under a blanket of snakes.
Before she even knows what is happening all of the snakes are gone and she is wrapped in the warm paws of the lion. She cries into his fur and she has never felt more soothed before. He drops her key from his mouth and smiles a whiskery smile.
She gasps as she wakes from the dream again. She grips her head and closes her eyes tightly trying to bring herself back to reality. Why was she having this dream? What did it mean? She lies back down and thinks of Alex and then for some unknown reason… she misses Craig.
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"Can I stay here tonight?" Manny asks after they have established that they both have watched RENT way to many times and never had to look at the script on any part.
"I guess why?" He asks.
"Things are just tense at home. I can't let on that I'm going to be acting; I can't be free at all in the house. It's just better for me here tonight." She says.
"Then of course you can stay." He says putting a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
"I'm always glad to have you here." He says as he lies on his bed starring at the ceiling.
"I'm always glad to be with you." She says. She looks at him lying there with his hands cushioning his head. He's wearing a tight white t-shirt, perfectly fit mud-washed jeans, and a cute black and red knit beanie. His dark smooth skin was lit by moonlight coming in through his window and a few candles on his headboard. His hair curled from under his hat. He was the image of perfection.
"Can you hold me tonight?" She asks crawling onto the bed. He smiles and opens one arm. She grins back at him and settles onto his arm, resting her head into the crook of his shoulder putting a hand on his chest. They had planned on getting ready for bed and moving later, but it was just so comfortable that they didn't want to move. So they didn't all night.
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Paige begins to dig through the things under her bed… Where is it… I know it's here somewhere… she thinks to herself. Then she finds the light pink memory box. It almost scares her, as though she it had been a myth and now that she knows it is true she is startled. She shakes it off and tears the top off. Inside is every memory of her father that she has. Pictures, ticket stubs, a small teddy bear, double mint wrappers, a leather bracelet all reside within the box. She stares at it for a moment and dumps it on her floor. She shreds every last thing. She doesn't want anything left of him. For years she had tried to blame anyone else that she could, she had tried to believe that he would come around and rescue her but no more. She could not wait for him anymore.
"Why can't you be who I need?" she says, her voice a mere whisper. She has completely exhausted herself. She curls around the rubble of her past. She lies in the fetal position and cries. She cries for everything that her life has become and closes her eyes not planning to open them for a long time.
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The world looks different once you've made the decision. Even more so as you carry it out. He hadn't anticipated the pain in his lips, his eyes, his scalp. He felt free though, freer than he had since he had tasted sweet cherries. Everything began to turn blue and it intrigued him. Things began to flash in his mind. They were like pictures and video clips more than normal thoughts. He saw the nurse with the crocodile tattoo. He saw the look on his dad's face the last time that they saw each other. He saw the red haired maiden behind the drum set. He saw the angel of the keyboard. He saw Paige's reassuring smile as he passed her in the hall. He saw his little sister on his stepfather's shoulders laughing. He saw himself laying on a couch, cigarette between his lips and guitar on his lap. He saw a flower through the lens of a camera. Then… he saw nothing.
"Oh my god Craig!" Jeremiah exclaims running to the aid of his son, tears instantly run from his eyes.
He pulls out his pocketknife and saws at the sheet wrapped around his throat. Craig's shirtless, pale limp body falls to the shower floor. Jeremiah sets him up and begins CPR frantically. He lost this boys mother, and he wasn't about to lose him too. He had been through so much for him, and he loved him like a son… he was his son. Craig's blue lips startled him.
"Oh God, please no…" He says through tears as he pressed on his son's chest.