Not Gonna Wait For You Forever
Chapter Twelve: Bright Eyes
How can I miss what was never really there? she thinks to herself. She holds her eyes shut tightly trying to force herself back to sleep so that she won't have to think about any of it. She smiles when she thinks of Alex's touch. Her hands are smooth and beautiful. Forget Craig. Forget him forever.
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She stands on weak and sore legs and walks to the bathroom. She looks in the mirror and is appalled. Her cheeks are ash grey from mascara. Under and above her eyes are tiny speckles of bruises, the kind you get from coughing or in her case crying to hard. Her hair has knots on one side where she had laid all night. Her eyes were still bloodshot. She didn't want to look like this because of that man. She undresses and turns the shower on. She washes repeatedly, not wanting her appearance to show that her father had ever existed. Once she has decided that she is clean enough she gets out and hurriedly dresses in a light pink t-shirt and faded jeans. She puts in her earrings and applies a little extra makeup around her eyes to cover her crying bruises. She brushes her hair and runs some gel through it. She looks at herself. They will all see a perfect high school beauty queen. She still sees the same scared little girl wishing that her father would love her. She doesn't feel that way. Where was he when she was raped? Where was he when Spinner cheated? Where was he last night? She doesn't care anymore… she just doesn't care.
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"Good morning sunshine." He says quietly. He is perfectly warmed by the sun through the glass of his windowpane and the body of Manny Santos. He knows that if they are ever going to get ready for school than he has to get up now, but he doesn't want to.
"Mmm… not yet." She mumbles tiredly. They didn't move an inch all night.
"If we're going to get ready, we need to get up." He says, not making a move.
"Then I'm not going." She smiles still not opening her eyes.
"How fast can you get ready?" he asks.
"Ten minutes, all I need is ten minutes." She says.
"I can handle that." He says and closes his eyes again.
She thinks about the fact that he smells like cinnamon and fresh cut grass. He thinks about how she smells like pineapple and lotus flowers. She makes him feel like a man like no one else in the world can. He feels strong when he wraps his arms around her, because he is the only one who she has trusted to shield her from the world. She could have run to Jimmy, they were pretty good friends for a while. She could have run to that soccer player, or any of the other guys lining up to hold her, but she chose Marco.
"I'm going to keep you safe." He says. He thought she had fallen back asleep.
"I know. I trust you." She whispers drowsily. He is almost startled. He smiles.
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"Mr. Jeremiah, did you hear me?" Dr. Peterson asks.
"What?" He asks snapping back into the conversation. He had been staring into the hospital room at his son.
"He's going to be okay. He isn't in a coma; his body is just exhausted. His oxygen wasn't cut off long enough to cause any brain damage. He should wake up sometime in the next couple days. His throat is a little swollen, so he'll find it hard to talk for a little while and he shouldn't until he is fully healed but he's going to be okay… physically." Dr. Peterson says.
"Oh thank God… what do I do? I mean, am I supposed to put him in a psych ward? He'd hate that, what if that makes him worse, I don't want him to think that I am abandoning him." Joey starts rambling.
"I would definitely suggest it, but you don't have to worry about it just yet. Just take care of him however you can and we'll worry about all of that later." Dr. Peterson says putting a comforting hand on Joey's shoulder. Joey stays staring through the window. How was he supposed to make a decision like that?
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Alex was lying on her bed. She had nothing better to do. It was two in the morning, so she couldn't exactly go see anyone. She had just closed her eyes when she heard her door creak open. She opened her eyes and about an inch from her face was Paige. She sat up slightly to talk, but Paige's finger pressed to her lips before she could.
"Shhh… just lay down." Paige whispers.
Alex obeys, body shaking with nerves. She lets Paige lay her down and watches as she climbs onto the bed to straddle her. Paige looks down at her and smiles. Alex reaches up and caresses her soft face. Paige slowly leans down and presses her lips to Alex's in an engulfing kiss.
Alex's heart beats so hard that she wakes from her wonderful dream. She can still feel the warmth of her golden haired maiden on her body as though she had actually been there. She pulls her thin sheet up to her chin and keeps her eyes shut tightly. This isn't fair to Ellie. She thinks to herself as she drifts back to sleep only to have the same dream.
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Ellie stands a bit shaky on her feet. She is exhausted. She didn't sleep solidly all night. She grabs a long-sleeved black shirt and some jeans on her way to the bathroom. She quickly dresses and curls her hair. She does her makeup and brushes her teeth. She walks up to her mother's room. She hasn't moved since the night before. She leans on the doorframe and gently knocks. Her mother groans and her eyes become tiny slits.
"What." She says plainly.
"I'm going to school." Ellie says.
"And?" She grumbles into the pillow.
"Just wanted to let you know, and to say bye." Ellie says, beginning to be hurt by her mother's words.
"Okay." Her mom barely makes noise as though speaking to her daughter was both to taxing and irritating for her time.
"I love you." Ellie says throat tightening slightly.
Her mother rolls over without saying a word. Ellie nods as though to gesture that it was only appropriate and walks away, not allowing a tear to fall. She throws her black messenger bag over her should, grabs her keys off the table and heads to school. She just wanted to see Alex; it was the only thing that was driving her on. She was scared before about everyone at school knowing but her morning was just bad enough that she didn't care. All that she wanted was to be in Alex's arms. Even though Alex had always been there, she still almost expected her to ignore her once she walked in. It was what she was used to. Why should Alex be any different? To her it was the issue of her significant other not showing they cared, but it was an issue of her not being good enough. Her mother had shown it, Marco had shown it, Sean had shown it, and everyone knows that Craig showed it. Now it was just Alex's turn.
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"Manny sweetie, we have exactly ten minutes." Marco says.
"Ugh. Alright… I guess." She says opening her eyes. They feel as though they are glued shut. She pulls herself away from Marco's warmth and a chill runs over her. She gets out of bed and gets ready in about five minutes. She is done before Marco.
"Your beauty is natural… I hate you." He says, looking at her with mock disgust.
"You're pretty beautiful yourself Mr. Del Rossi." Manny says with a smile watching him get ready.
"I've decided something." He says more to the mirror than to Manny.
"What's that?" She asks.
"I'm going to go talk to Dylan. He may have screwed up but I love him, I think that we can work it out." He says. Manny's heart sank slightly. She was growing so protective of him.
"I guess that it's your decision to make but I've seen how much he hurt you. I'm telling you now that I don't like it, but if it makes you happy, then I'll be happy for you." She says.
"I guess that's all I can ask." He says sitting on the edge of his bed pulling his Doc Marten's on.
"Both of us ready in ten minutes," He says putting an arm around her and tossing his keys in the air to catch them again "Not bad Santos."
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"Hey babes." Paige says with a smile leaning on Marco's shoulder. She had seen Jimmy sitting there, but hadn't seen Manny. Her face sunk a little, not intentionally but at seeing her all she can think of is her birthday.
"Hi Paige." Manny says quietly not expecting anything in return.
"Hi Manny." Paige says. They make eye contact for the first time since the incident, and there is some mutual connection. It doesn't mean that they are friends; it doesn't mean that they're going to exchange Christmas cards anytime soon, but it does mean that things may be okay between them. They both smile and nod slightly as though to tell each other that it was mutual.
"How are you sweets?" Marco asks puckering, her cheek meeting his lips.
"I'm doing really good." She says.
They all continue talking, Paige smiles, she laughs, she speaks without hesitation. She thought that she had them fooled. But someone noticed. Someone noticed her knee bobbing erratically. Someone noticed that her eyes were swollen. Someone noticed that her smile didn't match her eyes. She almost pulled it off… but someone noticed.
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Joey looks at Craig and wants to wake him up. His eyes are darting under his eyelids. His mouth twitches slightly. His brain wave meter is moving more than it has the whole time. He knows that he must be dreaming.
"What are you seeing big guy…" He whispers with concern as he grabs his hand.
Craig walks into and old run down theatre. No one is there. He walks past an old concession stand and into the theatre part. He sits down and looks around him. Everything is rusty and falling apart. No one else is there. He looks confused and awkward. Suddenly a movie begins to play on the screen. He leans back in the chair resting his ankle on his knee and settles in.
The first thing that he sees is himself at the age of two trying to run around the yard on chubby baby legs. He laughs at himself wearing nothing but bib shorts on a bright summer day. He runs through a sprinkler and laughs on the screen. The film looks like it is from the 50's, all grainy, choppy and fuzzy. Next he sees Manny ice-skating. He may not have really been in love with her, but he never found her more beautiful than when she ice-skated. He smiles gently at the memory. Next he sees his dad. First when he was a kid and they were so close. He's holding onto his hands and spinning him through the air. He smiles and laughs at this memory. He concludes that he is watching a movie of his good memories. He sees his mom sitting in their old living room. She smiles and opens her arms to him. He runs to her and crawls into her lap. Sitting in the theatre he can still remember how warm she felt. It makes him miss her more than he has in years, which is truly saying something. He wonders if the movie will ever end.
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Ellie walks in and shoves her bag into her locker. She normally would grab a notebook, pen, and earth/space science book but she didn't feel like it today. She knew all of the stuff already. She walks down the hall, turns left and then right. Alex is leaning against a locker by herself. Ellie approaches her with low expectations. Alex cocks her head to the side slightly with a perplexed concerned look. Ellie finally reaches her and stops.
"What's wrong baby?" She asks softly opening her arms to her. Ellie is shocked.
She lets her body lean into Alex's. Alex wraps her arms around her and Ellie feels loved. It had been quite a long time since she had truly felt that way. She had a horrible habit of falling in love with people who didn't know how to show it. Was this different? Was Alex really different? Was the problem them, or her?
"Nothing anymore." Ellie says smiling slightly.
"I'm glad to be holding you. Are you okay with everyone knowing?" Alex whispers in her ear.
"I wouldn't have it any other way." She says smiling up at the girl and placing a soft kiss on her mouth.
She knew that everyone was looking, she could feel it, but she didn't care. Alex was worth it to Ellie, and Ellie was worth it for Alex.
"Alex?" The soft voice came from behind Ellie.
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It was fifteen minutes until the bell would ring and as Marco and Jimmy leave talking, Paige smiles in satisfaction. Her façade had worked according to plan. She grabbed her white backpack and beings to walk inside. Someone grabs her arm, which visibly startles her.
"Paige, wait." Manny says.
"What's up?" She asks turning, shocked at who had stopped her.
"What's wrong?" Manny said after a bit of a pause. She had tried to think of something big to say, but this was all that came.
"What are you even talking about?" Paige says calmly, though inside she was panicking.
"Something's wrong. I can tell, you aren't yourself today." Manny says. She realizes that she looks ridiculous now but she wouldn't have been able to live with herself if she had let Paige go on.
"I'm fine really." Paige says.
"Maybe you don't want to talk to me but you should talk to someone, Marco or your brother. I don't know I'm just worried I guess." She says. She sounds almost as awkward as she feels.
"Well… don't." Paige says walking into the building. As she does she is shocked.
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Alex looks around Ellie to see Paige and her heart skips a beat. She isn't sure what the look on Paige's face means. Paige always has been pretty hard to read. Ellie turns and sees her standing there and for some reason she feels like she shouldn't be touching Alex. She isn't sure why but the way that Paige is looking at her is pretty intense.
"I think we need to talk." Paige says trying not to let the tears sting her eyes.
"Yeah I guess so." Alex smiles. She turns to Ellie.
"I'll see you in class okay?" She says kissing her again before walking over to Paige.
"Walk with me." Alex says.
Seeing the look in Paige's bright eyes Ellie begins to realize… Paige is in love with Alex…