A/N: I just realized that I have more reviews then lots of peoples. You have no idea how much this means to me! I love you all! (blows kisses)

Special thanks to GeekGrrl, my one and only beta, who also happens to be all powerful! Yah!

Disclaimer: I own all the DVDs… Does that count? (hopeful)

WARNING: There is some Bangel in this chapter (cringe) but it's necessary. Please, proceed with caution.

Chapter Five – Not Real

Buffy's eyes widened as she took in her ex-lover, the man she thought to be dead for almost a year. He looked exactly the same – platinum blonde hair, black jeans and t-shirt, leather duster, and oh-my-god-I'm-drowning blue eyes. The only difference was the look of absolute surprise she thought she would never see on his face. And right then, she knew what she had to do.

A mighty crack resounded through the lobby as her fist connected with Spike's nose, causing him to yell out in pain and stumble back several feet. His hands immediately rushed to his face, blood trickling through his fingers as he tried to stop the flow. Most of the employees stopped to watch, as they never witnessed much action ever since Angel became the CEO.

He looked at her with such shock as he clutched his broken nose that Buffy felt the hole around her heart beginning to open itself up again. She bit her lip, watching Spike as he watched her. He wasn't angry, just dumbfounded. And maybe just a tiny drop of guilt. But he wasn't him, either. Because the real him was dead.

"Angel," Buffy called. Her tone wasn't loud, but commanding enough that everyone in the suddenly silent lobby and surrounding rooms could hear her. That included the vampire himself, who rushed out of his office at the sound of the Slayer's voice.

"Angel, you've got a shape shifter here." Buffy turned to him, but not before giving mock-Spike a black look that shot daggers. "I'd rather not see anyone in that form right now."

Angel watched her, trying to read her face. It was stone cold, but he could see a little crack of weakness running through it. No one else, except for maybe Spike, could have seen that it was a smoke screen.

Buffy looked up, her eyes pleading silently with him. The hole around her heart throbbed painfully every second, knowing that Spike was there in the same vicinity as her, and she wasn't able to run into his arms because he wasn't actually him. And not matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop it from ripping itself apart. Her bottom lip trembled.

"Please?" Her words were whispered, and Angel's heart melted as he put an arm around her to guide her into his office.

"Sure." As they walked, Angel shot a look over his shoulder at Spike, who had moved past the initial shock and straight into rage at the sight of his sire holding onto Buffy. His Buffy. But the little voice in his head that was telling him that Buffy wasn't his anymore, coupled with the secret message Angel was trying to relay to him with his eyes, was enough to make him simply groan in frustration and go off to hit something.

Buffy was sitting on a comfortable chair on one side of Angel's desk, her back to the door. She stared blankly at the cup of coffee that Harmony had placed in front of her. She knew that she should be yelling about the vampiress for some reason, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Everything revolved around those beautiful, gorgeous blue eyes.

Angel watched her from the doorway of his office, leaning against the frame. As Harmony approached him, her grabbed her arm and pulled her right outside the door, careful to close it.

"How's she doing?" he whispered, his dark eyes worried.

Harmony glared at him for a moment before rolling her eyes. "She's been sitting and staring at nothing for an hour, boss. How do you think she's doing?"

Angel scowled at her, but Harmony refused to back down. Finally, he sighed and motioned towards her desk. "Reschedule the rest of my meetings for another day." The vampiress nodded and made her way over to her chair, clacking on her keyboard almost immediately. "God knows I'm going to need it," he muttered to himself as he opened his door again.

Buffy was still sitting and staring at the coffee cup. She didn't look up when he came in, so he tried to be as noisy as possible while making his way to his leather chair. She didn't even notice him until he sat down and waved his hand in front of her eyes.

Buffy blinked slowly as she looked up at him, almost as if she was waking from a dream. Him being Angel. Him being not Spike. Not Spike was not a good thing. She was about to retreat into her daydreams again, but then Angel started talking. It was hard to think about Spike when someone was talking directly to her.

"Buffy," Angel began, talking one of her hands in his. "I know I should have told you this a long time ago. Hell, I shouldn't have told you, he should've. But he didn't, and because he didn't, I should've. But I didn't either, so…" He took a deep breath, watching Buffy stare at him blankly. She seemed a little more awake now.

"So…?" She continued for him, waiting for the point to this conversation. When Angel refused to reply, she sighed heavily. "Whatever it is, spit it out, Angel."

Angel nodded and gripped her hand a bit harder. "Buffy… The person you saw back in there wasn't a shape shifter or a hologram or anything like that. That was actually Spike. He came back to us in the amulet I sent you. He was a ghost for a while, but then he became corporeal and then –" Angel looked up at Buffy when he finally noticed her hand was trembling. He braced himself for the tears, but there was none. There was laughter.

Buffy never thought she could laugh so hard. It wasn't exactly happiness, although there was a bit of that in there. There was pain, and there was a lot of grief, but there was also realization and understanding.

"Buffy? Are you okay?" Angel tried to catch her eyes, but they were closed as she leaned back in her chair, trying to hold in her laughter.

"I…finally…get it," she managed to say between giggles. "I finally…broke."

"Buffy? You're broken? What?" Angel was, at the very least, extremely confused.

"I'm crazy, Angel!" Suddenly, the chuckles were gone, replaced with a sad smile and a few hiccups. "You see? I'm starting to believe in my hallucinations. I could have sworn you actually said that Spike was really him out loud. See, I finally broke, huh? All that Slaying does something to you."

"Buffy –" Angel began again, reaching for her hands, but she pulled them back angrily.

"Stop doing that! Stop saying my name like I'm some stupid little kid who needs everyone to beat around the bush! I don't need to be protected! I need to know what's going on!" She jumped up and pushed her chair back in frustration. It made a muffled thump as it found itself on the floor. Buffy began to pace around the confines of the office at the speed of a power walker, trying to sort out her thoughts.

Angel sat there, seething. All he was trying to do was help her, and she was screaming at him! What had he done to deserve that? There were only two people who could really push his buttons – Buffy and Spike. As the former continued to pace on the subject of the latter, his temper snapped, and he jumped out of his chair as well, trying desperately to push his demon away.

"I'm only trying to help you here! I get it that's hard to accept at first, but would you just HEAR ME OUT?! Spike's alive and he's real and he's been like that for about seven months now! And if you'd just SHUT UP and LISTEN for a change, maybe you could learn something!" Angel tried to calm himself down, but he was still fuming. He clutched the desk tightly, counting to a hundred, before looking up.

Buffy was standing there, her hands on her hips, glaring down at him. When she spoke, her voice was deathly quiet. "I'm listening now."

"Well, that's a big help. Did you not hear the rant? There is one basic fact, and that's all you need to know. Spike's alive and he's real." The vampire's rage was fading slowly, but refused to go away fully.

"See, that's where I'm stuck," Buffy told him as she began to pace again. "Spike can't be alive. I saw him die in Sunnydale. I watched as the whole town caved in, and I didn't see him anywhere. There was no way he could have gotten out of that hole, even in he miraculously did survive. There was no chance in Hell."

Angel sighed and stared hard at the desk, wondering what to say to the Slayer. She just denied that there was any chance of Spike being alive. And the truth didn't make anymore sense than the fact. What was he going to say? Spike happened to be Fed-Exed to them by Angel's arch-nemesis so he could kill him? Not likely.

He was saved by the sound of a quiet sob. His head snapped up just in time to see a tear fall from Buffy's eye on to the carpet. The one tear brought friends along too, and soon she was crying buckets, holding on to herself as drops landed on the floor.

Angel was by the Slayer's side in an instant, holding her to his chest. She nuzzled him as the tears continued to flow. In his arms, she felt comforted, the same way his embrace had felt when she was sixteen. The big bad vampire that would protect her from anything that came close to her. For now, that was exactly what she needed.

"He can't be real, Angel," Buffy wept, clutching his navy blue sweater. "Because if he is, that means he didn't come to me. That he doesn't care. That he doesn't love me anymore."

Angel watched her sob brokenly, and held her a bit tighter. He couldn't help but think to himself how wrong she really was.

A/N: Ah… The Bangelness is over. You can breathe now. :P

Special thanks to all my reviewers: Wolfram-and-Hart-Sauron, Ember, satelliteblues21, willow-wiccan, Layla, and Moluvsnumber17. Very special thanks to my consistent reviewers – Ember, satelliteblues21, willow-wiccan, and Layla – I love you guys to pieces and so you get (drum roll) Truffles! Yes, I am running out of sweets here…

Extra extra special thanks to satelliteblues21, who suggested Buffy punch Spike in the nose. It fit in so well with my story.

Okay, and for all those who want Angel to get ass-kicked by Spike and are wondering why Spike gave up so easily, don't worry! Answers are coming in the next chapter. And ass-kicking (hopefully) soon after that. :)

And yes, you all have permission to take turns shooting me since I kept you waiting so long. I've had a TON of homework, and I have to write a story for my friend for Christmas. And… I kinda was reading the Virtual Serieses (is that a word?) on Virtual Mutant. Yes, I'm horrible, here's a crossbow.