Chapter 6: Consoling

By Christmas, Lily had begun to heal. She was amazed at how easily she had slipped back into her normal routine, and would even experience brief periods of time where she wouldn't think about her parents at all.

As Christmas drew closer, Lily had begun to worry. She didn't think she could stand a Christmas alone at Hogwarts since she had always gone home for the holidays before. Luckily, Ellie had told her that her mother insisted Lily spend Christmas with them, and so Lily now found herself baking cookies with Mrs. Adams.

Lily was very thankful to the Adams', because she knew without them she would have probably fallen apart. With them she was actually able to enjoy parts of the holiday.

Ellie's mother was a very boisterous witch who seemed thrilled at having Lily invade her home. She had dark brown hair which bounced up and down with every step she took. According to Ellie, she was a very talented Auror, in addition to being a gifted cook.

Ellie's father in contrast was a quiet man who enjoyed his Ministry job as a member of the Floo Network Authority. He was obviously very enamored with his wife, and the two would take to dancing around the kitchen.

As much as Lily liked Ellie's parents, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Never again would Lily's parents dance around the kitchen, or make sweet comments to each other at the dinner table.

Even now, as she was rolling out cookie dough on the counter, Lily felt the pang of missing her mother. Ellie's mom was wonderful, but not as wonderful as Mrs. Evans had been.

"You alright dear?" asked Mrs. Adams, looking up from own cookies.

"Yes, I was just thinking," said Lily rather quietly.

Mrs. Adam gave her a sad, knowing look. "I bet you were. I was too, and I just remembered I'd forgotten to tell you. It probably slipped Ellie's mind too, she's so used to going to it every year. Every year we go to the Potters' Christmas Night Party for the Auror's department. You know their son, don't you? James Potter, he's in your year."

"Yeah, I know him," said Lily with an annoyed grin. Now this wasn't something she'd been expecting, dealing with Potter on Christmas. Not to mention a party.

She supposed there could be worse things though, and it would be good to get her mind off missing her parents on Christmas.

"I'll make sure I have something to wear later," she said with a smile to Mrs. Adams, who returned it and went back to decorating her cookies.

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Lily tucked her hair behind her ear, smoothing down the front of her dress. When she'd asked Ellie what they should wear, Ellie had told her it was a formal party and that Lily could borrow a dress if she wanted to. Now Lily felt very awkward in one of Ellie's old dresses, since Ellie was a fair bit taller than her now. Luckily, the dress wasn't gaudy or out of style, but a simple, emerald green dress. On any other day, Lily may have thought she looked nice.

The day had gone rather well, better than Lily had expected. While she had been constantly reminded of the loss of her parents throughout the day's events, she had also been able to enjoy her time with Ellie and her parents. She still did not look forward to a party, especially one where the only people she would know were Ellie and the Marauders.

Mrs. Adams knocked on the door of the large Potter mansion, which Lily felt was rather fitting considering James' ego. She was surprised however when a warm, welcoming woman opened the door and instantly hugged Ellie's mother.

"Jane, darling, how are you! And Mark, come in come in." She ushered them inside, kissing Mr. and Mrs. Adams on the cheek. "And Ellie, so nice to see you again. You look quite lovely. And who's your friend?"

Ellie grinned mischievously and pushed Lily forward. "This is my friend Lily Evans. You know, the Head Girl who works with James." Mrs. Potter smiled knowingly, and Lily felt herself turn a little pink.

"Well, make yourselves at home. Ellie, James and his friends are in the kitchen, as I'm sure you could guess."

"It was nice to meet you, Mrs. Potter," said Lily politely as Ellie dragged her away.

"You too, dear," replied Mrs. Potter as she whisked away the Adams'.

Lily was hauled into the kitchen by Ellie, where they found the Marauders munching happily on cookies.

"You boys fat enough yet?" asked Ellie teasingly, poking Remus and Sirius in the stomach.

"Oy, Ellie," said Remus, rubbing his stomach. "Happy Christmas."

"Yes, happy Christmas to you all," replied Ellie.

Lily felt James' eyes on her, but was suddenly pulled into an embrace from Sirius. "Lilyflower, you made it! We wondered if you'd come with this one," he jerked a thumb towards her friend. "James, don't you think she looks lovely?"

Lily glared at Sirius, but James only coughed quietly and said, "Yes, you look beautiful Lily."

"And what about me?" remarked Ellie indignantly.

The five continued to banter, while Lily stood there, listening. Her mind wandered, and she began to notice different things about the kitchen. It looked much lived in, and Lily wondered if the Potters cooked for themselves or hired a chef.

After several minutes, Lily felt herself getting warm, and the swarm of people in and out of the kitchen was beginning to overwhelm her. She felt her body teeter on the verge of an anxiety attack.

"I'm going to look for the bathroom," she whispered into Ellie's ear, who nodded absently, listening intently to Sirius tell a joke about a Christmas Cherub, Dumbledore and a naughty angel.

Slipping through the crowds, Lily soon found what she was really looking for: an exit. Slipping into the backyard, Lily walked until she found grass, and then laid down on it, staring into the sky.

James found her not more than a minute later, shivering in the grass. "I thought I might find you here, are you cold?" he wore a look of concern.

"A little," Lily admitted. James took off his suit jacket and laid it on top of her. He then joined her in the grass, gazing into the heavens. "Hard day?"

"Yes, actually," when James didn't say anything, Lily continued, "I just can't get them out of my head. Like, if I'd been there and done something, we could all be together right now. I could be celebrating Christmas with MY family, instead of someone else's." She let out a small sigh.

"I'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear about that on Christmas," Lily said after a few moments of silence.

James sighed, and sat up, and Lily could tell he was wrestling with something in his mind. Lily sat up too, and looked at him questioningly.

James half-laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, "No Lily, I do want to know. I care about you; I just don't know how to help you," he looked back at her, seeing the tears swelling in her eyes. "Lily…" he began.

"Hold me," she said quietly, and leant into his arms. Instinctively, James put his arms around her, holding her tight. They sat there for a moment, Lily crying, and James wishing he could do something more.

After several minutes of sitting in his embrace, Lily looked up at James' face, her face wet, but her eyes once again dry. He looked back at her, warmth pouring out of his eyes into hers. As one, they leant closer and kissed.