Memories Keep You Near

A/N: Shoooot me! Exams are terrible :(

Anyway, Chapter 3 for you! I will try to make this one better than the last, but I'm sure you perverts out there would prefer the last one because of the sexxxx!...well... this one might not be all that great in the way that it isn't very happy :( so sad... but bear with me! Please!

This chapter starts in a memory right away. ----- indicate where it stops

Chapter 3

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She glares across the room at him and schools her expression to one of defiance when she really feels like breaking down in tears. She doesn't want to give in, and knows that if she lets the tears fall she'll loose the argument and give in to him, or at least show the weakness she has when it comes to him. Perhaps he knows of the weakness already, but she doesn't want either outcome but her own.

Hitomi would not stay in the palace anymore.

The reason they were standing on opposite sides of the room was to prevent such a break down of argument. It seemed Van did not want to give in on the matter either. Little did he know, was that Hitomi was standing as far away from him in order to keep herself under control. The need to touch him was so strong the only way to win the fight was to stay far away from him.

If he knew this, he'd use it to his advantage.

As it was, the glare that only served to make him look more handsome showed he had no idea the weakness she had when it came to him, and she was fine to keep it that.

"You're being irrational, Hitomi."

Or perhaps he was on the other side of the room because of memories. Memories of numerous times getting smacked, hard, across the face by an angry Hitomi.

She was certainly angry now. Or just simply frustrated. She wasn't quite sure.

"I'm not being irrational! I'm being perfectly rational! You just don't see it."

"Where will you live?" His voice rose a moment before he remembered to keep it down. He seemed to not want to be overheard, but Hitomi didn't care at the moment.

"In the city." She motioned with her head to the window. The capital of Fanalia stretched out past the palace. Lined the valley walls and grew into fields of yearly crop and the forest that housed the dragons. This was the most beautiful place she'd ever seen and always would be. "I already found a place."

He definitely looked put out at that comment, and Hitomi thought for a venomous moment that he merely wanted her to stay in the castle for easy access, but on further scrutiny realized it wasn't the case.

When he spoke next, his voice was hollow. "Where?"

She held her breath a moment, feeling the tears come again, but she pushed them back. Her eyes were starting to sting. "On the other side of town. I won't tell you where until I'm moved in." Because she knew he would try to do interfere in some way.

He looked suddenly angry again. Like the old, stubborn Van. The one she fell in love with. "What? Just tell me. I can help you move in."

"No." She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. "No. I'm perfectly capable of doing it on my own. I'm not some fragile toy, or..." She fought for something to say, "Or a rich princess..." she couldn't stop herself, and the next words were out before she knew what was happening. "Like your wife."

She knew she'd said something wrong right away. She watched, with apprehension as Van shifted, a look she couldn't quite describe washing over his face before he crossed the distance between them in a few quick strides. She felt herself shrinking away, even though she knew he would never hit her, and was shocked as her back pressed into the wall.

He stopped just short of her, and she suddenly noticed how much taller he'd gotten than her. "I am very aware she isn't you, Hitomi." A hand was brought up. Smacked against the wall just beside her shoulder. She didn't jump, or move, only stared up at him. Her emerald eyes wide. "And she doesn't deserve to be mistreated or spoken ill of-"

"What are you doing than?! You're mistreating her every time you're with me."

He froze. One second. Two Seconds. She felt her heart hammering against her chest. It felt like sand was coating her throat and mouth.

When he did speak, it was slow and calculating, his eyes bearing into hers with such intensity that she felt out of breath. "Do you not want me to be with you?"

Oh god. "I didn't say that!" She felt finally able to move. Lifting her arms, she brought her hands against his chest and gently pushed him away. "I want to be with you..." She trailed off, and watched his feet as he took a few steps backwards, giving her space. Even being this close to him was intoxicating. "Always."

"Stay at the castle than."

She sighed, suddenly feeling very exhausted and looked at up him again. He was watching her with a decidedly blank look on his face. His eyes were the only thing that gave him away most of the time. "I can't stay here Van... I want to. Really." She looked around the guest room he'd prepared for her here. She'd been back on Gaea for a month now, but the place still looked as if she didn't live here.

No place would feel like home to her unless he were there, and she knew that wasn't a possibility.

"I love you."

She returned her attention to his face again, always a little shocked to hear someone say those three words with as much truth and power behind them as Van always managed. She felt herself smile.

"I know. But sometimes that isn't enough."

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"Why did I buy this?" Hitomi muttered the question to herself, staring at her reflection and watching her nose scrunch up in self-confusion. Really... sometimes she had no idea why she did things, and buying the necklace Van's wife had suggested she buy was one of those things.

The necklace, made of pretty blue and green stones lay layered across her breast bone and collar and she sighed as she reached back to undue the clasp.

After the queen had excused herself and wandered back to the castle, Hitomi had double backed down the way they came and was not only relieved the necklace was still there, but also happy to buy it. Why? She couldn't quite understand it herself.

Just like how she couldn't understand why she didn't hate Van's wife. Soriyah. A beautiful name for a queen, and one that suited her. She remembered repeating the name to herself when alone to her grief after the meeting. She'd hated the name than, but loved it now. Soriyah Olivia DuRess de Fanel.

She couldn't help but like the women the name came with. Perhaps her actually liking Van's wife was making this relationship even stranger. Even more unhealthy and exhausting.

She set the necklace in front of the mirror before her just as someone knocked at the door. A knock she recognized right away and was both happy and annoyed at the visit.

"Come in." She stood, brushing off invisible dirt from the beautiful dress she'd finally decided to try on. It looked too wonderful to let it lie on the chair forever. However, she was embarrassed now -- as Celena and Merle entered -- to be caught playing dress up in her room.

As soon as the girl's stepped in they started cooing and surrounded Hitomi.

"It looks even more amazing on!" Celena, who was in the capital of Fanalia and living in Merle's quarters was there to train as a lady in waiting or something of the sort. Hitomi didn't quite understand the situation, and didn't get why Celena didn't do whatever it was she was doing in Asturia. The only assumption she could make was that it was warmer in Fanalia.

"It does look amazing, Hitomi." Merle was running her hand down one side of the dress, obviously amazed the softness of the material. "You'll need to wear to the castle soon so that Van can see it."

"Or," Celena had a rather cheeky look on her face that Hitomi didn't much like. "you can wear it when he comes to visit you. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Merle spoke up, and Hitomi didn't like the look on her face either. "What would be the point. It wouldn't be on her for more than a few seconds."

"Merle!" She felt herself blush. Her ears heating up as she moved to tug at the young women's tail. However, cats are too quick.

"I'm only stating the obvious."

"You don't need to do it so crudely..." Because she couldn't come up with an excuse or better comeback.

Merle shrugged, a catlike grin stretched across her face as she bounded over to the chair the dress was previously draped in and took a seat. Celena sat on the edge of her bed.

Sighing, and realizing they would be here for a while, Hitomi moved over towards the tea she had set up to steep in the corner. "All right... what brings you two here?"

"An intervention." Merle was leering at her over the top of the chair, and Hitomi scowled back.

"What?"

"We both think you should come back to the castle." Celena was swinging her legs back and forth in a childlike manner before she picked up Hitomi's sunglasses she left on the bed. Apparently she found them very interesting as she didn't speak again for a while.

"And you both know why I won't." She went to hand Merle a glass of tea but she shook her head 'no' and so did Celena. She took it for herself and went back to the vanity stool, spreading her skirts out around her, feeling embarrassed as she did so. She wished she could change.

"You like Soriyah though. I don't understand."

"It's because I like her that I won't stay."

Merle pouted and Hitomi watched her tail flick up in a manner that showed her annoyance. Very catlike.

"But you love him?"

"Of course I do. As I've already told you many, many times now." She spoke to Merle during these times as if she were a small girl. The look on the cat woman's face at the moment only helped to back that up.

"Van gets so depressed when he's stuck in the castle all day without you. Doesn't he Celena?" Celena nods. "I don't like seeing Lord Van sad."

"Neither do I. But it can't be helped. Besides, someone might find out sooner or later."

Merle fell silent and watched Celena put the sunglasses over her eyes. Her tail flicked again.

Hitomi took another sip of tea.

"Soriyah's had another miscarriage."

Hitomi turned her attention from the carpet to Merle immediately. "What?" She hadn't been aware there were ones prior. She knew they must be trying for a baby, but never gave it much thought. A son, preferably, she guessed. She felt suddenly very, very sad and strange as she set her tea away on the vanity. "Is she all right?"

"She's on bed rest. She's very depressed about it though, and blaming it on herself."

Hitomi nodded numbly. "And... Van?"

Merle shrugged. "Honestly, I have no clue. He doesn't ever talk about things like that. But I can tell he's sad about it." She suddenly looked angry. "And the council is saying that he needs a son soon."

Hitomi looked up from her hands to find that both girls were staring at her. "What? I couldn't give him a legitimate son. One that I give him wouldn't be made King ever. You know that, Merle."

"It would be if he married you."

"He's already married. I wouldn't want to do that to Soriyah."

Merle visibly sighed. Her whole body shrinking rather dramatically. "You're too nice sometimes, Hitomi."

She chuckled before they all fell silent once more.

"Perhaps I should just go back to Earth."

Merle was out of her chair in an instant. "Don't even think about it! Van needs you here!"

She was about to protest. Had even managed to school her features into a glare at the cat women before she let it slip away, knowing her comment had every ounce of truth to it. She also knew that if she were to try and go back, a moment of selfish reasoning would keep her there on Gaea. In Fanalia. With Van.

She knew she needed him too.

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A/N: wooooo..one spare moment to sit down and write and I'm done a whole chapter! Yes! I think the next chapter may be the last one, but we shall see :)

Hope you liked it

P.S. I know I'm terrible with verb tenses and all that jazz. Just...ignore it if possible ;)