EPILOG
Jeremy crept into the hospital room and slid into a chair between the beds. It had been a close call getting Artemus here on time. Jim had refused treatment of any kind until he knew Artemus would be all right. Once Artemus had made it through surgery to repair several broken bones and his skin was sewn into place Jim had finally allowed them to look at his injuries. The cuts to his arm, chest and leg were, thankfully, made cleanly and had started to heal all ready. Jim didn't require surgery; he had only needed stitches and lots of them. The doctor had slipped him a sedative so Jim could catch up on some much needed sleep.
Both men had been sleeping for the past two days, something Jeremy was certain wouldn't go over too well with them. Artemus was the first to stir. He groaned and tried to sit up when he noticed the sling on his right arm and his tightly bound chest. He looked around and found Jeremy.
"Jeremy," Artie croaked, his voice hoarse from disuse.
"Artemus, how are you feeling? You thirsty, I'll get you some water," Pike said as he rose and poured Artie a glass of water and helped him drink.
"A lot better now, thanks," Artie leaned back into the pillows.
"How long?" Artie asked.
"How long?" Pike echoed.
"How long have we been out this time?" Artie sighed.
"You've been out for about two days, give or take a few hours. Jim a little less…he wouldn't let them work on him until he saw for himself that you were okay."
"Why does that not surprise me?" Artie moaned.
"Nothing about you two surprises me anymore," Pike grinned.
"Always keep em on their toes and keep em guessing I always say," Artie quipped as he looked over to his partner.
"Isn't that what your Great Aunt Maude always says, Artie?" Jim asked.
"James! You're awake!" Artie beamed.
"How could I not wake up, Artie? I heard your voice and thought you were starting the party without me."
"Now, Jim would I do that?" Artie winked at Jeremy.
"Only if you thought you'd get the pretty girls first, pal," Jeremy just shook his head and laughed.
"Oh boy is this going to be fun…" both men looked at their friend.
"What's going to be fun?" They asked in unison.
"You haven't been told yet, you just woke up," Jeremy smiled at them.
"Artie, do you have any idea what he's talking about?" Jim asked his partner.
"I have no idea, Jim, I only woke up a few minutes before you did."
"Jeremy, care to explain your last comment?" Jim demanded getting increasingly worried by the amused expression on Jeremy's face.
"I think I should be the one to do that gentlemen," A man they could only assume was a doctor, judging by his coat, said as he entered the room.
"And who might you be?" Artie asked.
"I might be your doctor, sirs. But from what I have been told about you two, jailer might be a more operative word," he glared at them.
"I'm not sure we follow you, doctor," Jim said, watching Jeremy's smile grow by the second, something Jim was sure he wouldn't like.
"I was forewarned about you two and your penchant for skipping out on medical treatment…"
"Us? Jim would you do that?" Artie feigned innocence.
"Not me, Artie, would you?"
"Heavens no," Jeremy couldn't stand it anymore and broke out laughing.
"James, something tells me that Pike here knows something."
"I get that impression too," Jim glared at him.
"I'm totally innocent, this time guys. I just asked to be here when the good doctor delivered the news," Jeremy held his hands up.
"Okay, doctor lay it on us," Jim resigned himself to his fate.
"It's quite simple, gentlemen…I was given orders to see to it that neither of you left here until you are completely well."
"Uh oh, Jim, I don't like the sound of this," Artie commented.
"Neither do I pal."
"Gentlemen, meet your nurses for the duration of your stay…" the doctor gestured to the doorway and two very large, burly interns stepped into the room.
Jim and Artie's jaws dropped. Jeremy took in their expressions and his grin grew even bigger. He had known what their reaction would be but actually seeing it for himself was worth it. He stifled a laugh and tried to put on his most apologetic expression.
"What the…" Jim began.
"Gentlemen, after being informed of your antics and your ability to escape under normal circumstances, I have decided your case warrants special measures."
"But…" Artie began only to be interrupted.
"Mr. Gordon, your use of charm is legendary with the ladies that is why your orderly and nursing duties will be filled by our male nurses and orderlies."
"Mr. West, I suggest you wipe that smile off your face as these men will see to your needs as well."
"Huh? What needs? I feel fine," Jim tried to argue.
"Oh, James you should have stopped while you were ahead," Pike moaned as he slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand and chuckled.
"Mr. Gordon and Mr. West…you have been hereby ordered to remain in this room until such time as I deem you fit to leave it. And gentlemen…these men take their job VERY seriously. I wouldn't recommend trying to slip past them. The consequences would be dire indeed," the doctor glared at them and dared just one of them to challenge him.
"Artie, you're being unusually quiet, don't you have anything to say?" Jim pleaded, knowing if anyone could plead their case it would be his silver-tongued partner.
"Just one thing, Jim…did you remember to bring the cards, Jeremy? I have a feeling we're going to be here for a LONG time this time," Artie glared at the nurses/orderlies as the doctor and Jeremy laughed.
Three months later Artie arrived back at the train after a meeting with the doctor, who had declared him well on the road to recovery. He spied the package on the steps to the varnish car and he eyed it warily. He picked it up and entered the car. Jim looked up from the newspaper he had been reading and watched Artie set the package down. Artie carefully removed the wrapping and opened the box, no booby traps so far.
He opened the cedar box and jumped back as a little figure popped out. The attached card said to wind the key. Artie carefully wound the key, keeping one eye on his partner. The little figure bounced to life and in Loveless' voice began to sing.
There once was a duo named Gordon and West
They were so brave and so blest
They escaped when they should have died
To them it mattered not that I was denied
I will yet one day certainly get even
That you most definitely can believe in.
The song was followed by the insane cackle they had come to know and hate.
Artie recognized the voice immediately…Loveless. He looked at Jim who took the item and threw it out the window. He wiped his hands and looked back to his partner. Without a word Jim went back to the settee and picked up his paper and began reading. Artemus wasn't sure how to read this action, so he chose to join him. He kept a watch on his partner's expressions as he recounted his appointment with the doctor. They went onward toward their next assignment, Yep, it never ends, Artemus thought as he grabbed the paper his partner had just laid down.
It never ends.