I stayed silent.
What could I say to that?
There was nothing.
"Lily?" he asked worriedly.
"You knew it was me?" I asked incredulously.
"Not until we started dancing," he replied, grinning at himself.
"And you didn't say anything? You just pretended you didn't know me and allowed me to make a fool of myself?" I said, getting angry.
How could he do that? I made a complete fool of myself and he knew that I was Lily the whole time.
"I'm sorry," he answered, looking a bit hurt.
I looked away. For a while, I was able to witness that look of hurt, but tonight, I couldn't. I felt terrible. But more over, I felt like an idiot.
"It's okay," I said apologetically.
"It is?" he asked, looking back up at me, a look of hope in his eyes.
"Yes. I'm the idiot. I thought I could pretend to be someone else for the night. But it was obvious that I couldn't."
"Why would you want to be someone else, Lily? You're beautiful just the way you are."
"It's Halloween. It's the only time that I can be someone else."
"The Cinderella costume would have done just fine."
"Not for me."
"Why?" he asked, obviously not understanding why I'd done it.
"Because I didn't want you to notice me."
"What?"
"I wanted one night of freedom."
"Freedom? From what?"
"From you."
"Why from me?"
"I wanted to feel like I didn't have to avoid you. I want to be around you, James, I really do. But I can't. It just can't happen. So I went a few steps further with the costume and pretended to be someone else. I told my friends it was because I didn't want you asking me to dance a thousand times, but really, it was so I could dance with you."
"Why couldn't you just dance with me as Lily?"
"Because I couldn't, James. I just couldn't. Look, you and me? It's not supposed to happen. It's not supposed to be that way. You're supposed to date girls like Cindy, not me. I just can't do it," I answered, looking away.
I felt like digging a hole and burying myself in it at that moment.
I felt like a terrible person.
"But I love you, Lily. And I don't want to date Cindy. I want to date you. I don't care what's supposed to happen. I care about what should happen. And what should happen is you and me."
Still not looking at him, I could hear him take a deep breath.
Uh oh.
Suddenly, I could feel his finger touch my chin and lift it up towards his eyes.
"I love you, Lily," he whispered as he took a cautious step forward.
I didn't move. And I'm glad I didn't.
When our lips touched, a chill went down my spine.
My whole body tingled.
No. This isn't how it's supposed to be. Why can't I just hate him? Why can't this kiss mean absolutely nothing to me? Why can't I just run and hide and never see him again?
Because I can't. That's why. I have to face this like I know I can.
By enjoying this kiss to its full potential and not caring what anyone else thinks.
Screw what's supposed to happen. Like he said, this is what should happen.
I wrapped my shaky arms around his neck and allowed him to lift me up off the ground a bit.
"James," I said as we released each other's lips.
"Yes?"
"I love you, too."
He lowered me back to the ground and we moved away from each other a bit so I could look up at his face.
He had a huge smile spread across it and it made me smile.
Looking into his eyes, my knees went weak again.
This better not be a normal occurrence.
"You all right?" he asked worriedly.
"See what you do to me?" I answered, giggling.
"Me? It's not my fault you love me so much," he replied, releasing my waist and wrapping one arm around my shoulders.
I leaned into his side and wrapped my tiny arm around his waist.
We walked like that all the way back to the lake, where we sat down against one of the trees near the shore.
Ripples swept across the lake as gusts of the October wind whipped around.
I shivered a bit before James removed his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders.
I held it tightly around myself and snuggled into his side.
Oh, how I could lie like this forever.
"You do realize that you still have your mask on, right?" he asked, chuckling a bit.
"I do?" I asked, laughing with him.
I reached up and touched my face.
"Seems I do," I said, removing it from my face and tossing it next to us in the grass.
"We do have to get up sometime," he said.
"Why?"
He laughed.
"Because it's getting late. And people will wonder where we are," he said.
"Who cares."
"I don't. But they will."
"Oh, fine," I said, pushing myself up.
"I didn't say now," he replied, pulling me back down so I was lying on top of him.
I sighed heavily as I laid my head down on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and placed his hands at the small of my back.
I shivered.
"Cold?"
"No."
He smirked and kissed my forehead.
"Mm, I could stay like this forever," he said.
"Me, too."
Dawn cracked around as we continued to lay in each other's arms.
I slowly opened my eyes and looked around.
"We fell asleep," I whispered to James, moving my body so he would wake.
"Hmm?"
"We fell asleep," I repeated.
"Seems we did," he answered, smiling.
"We fell asleep," I repeated again, jerking myself up and falling off him into the grass. "James, we fell asleep!"
"Yes, Lily, I know."
"That's not a good thing!"
"Why?"
"Because that means we're not in our dorms. Which means nobody knows where we are!"
"And that's a bad thing because?"
"Because..." I started. "Well, I don't know why. But it is!"
"Sure it is, Lily," he said, pushing himself up and scooted back so he was sitting up against the tree. "It's beautiful out here this early."
"It is. But we should go."
"And how do you suspect we should get to our dorms without being caught?"
"I don't know. That's your job. You're the sneaky one, not me."
"I'm sneaky? You're the one who tricked people into thinking you were someone else last night."
"True," I smiled proudly. "I even tricked Sirius."
"That's not saying much," he replied sarcastically.
"Shut up," I whined. "Do you have a plan or not?"
"Of course, I do," he answered, smirking.