1A/N: So over the past few days, I've coughed up more lung than is contained in the human body. Strange, I don't feel any lighter. Anyways, not my best work. Some interesting tid-bits but mostly just low level plot progression. I think it overshadows the fact that I wrote my 250,000 total word today. Ain't that somethin or maybe its not. More than likely I'm the only one who cares about this milestone.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, but hey, I think we all knew that already
Trying To Do the Right Thing
Chapter 16
By: Finalitylife
Robin P.O.V
In my mind I could still see Raven floating off toward the city, away from the tower, away from the family she had made there, and away from me. If everything that did happen is truly happening, then I know she has ever intention of being gone forever.. It was something I could feel from her though I still don't understand anything as to why she left, why Slade was after her, or what I could possibly have done to have kept her with all of us.
Raven had said her past was returning and it was the reason she was leaving. Sometimes I forget that I truly know nothing of Raven's past before I first met her two years ago, know nothing of her childhood, original family, or even where she was from. According to all the records I really ever had on her, it was like she just one day appeared on Earth out of thin air, almost as if she had come from far, far away to find me or someone like me. I can't help but think back to the thought process I had flowing through my head before Raven's birthday party disaster, before Slade made his dark existence know again to us. Foreboding...that was the best word to describe the feelings I was getting, those very same feelings I got the first time I met a mysterious young woman with amazing power and a desire to do good along side me.
Those strange feelings had been proven correct with the appearance of Slade, who now wielded power that seemed absolute and unstoppable but with Raven, those feelings I once had never came to reality. Raven had never done anything for me to question her motives, her intentions, her heart or her soul. She had done nothing but good for the world around her, for the people around her, and as I found out only recently, was capable of a warmth I had found in almost nobody else in my life.
Now I sit here on the ledge of the roof, legs dangling over the side, staring off in the direction Raven left to. I am positive many hours have passed because the sun is beginning to dip back down below the horizon, signaling the end of another day, yet I still refuse to get up from the spot I sit. I don't want to move until I am no longer confused, can actually understand what is so terrible that it drove Raven away, what brought Slade back from wherever he had been with such devastating power. I want to know the truth, the truth that Raven so badly didn't want me to know that she chose to leave rather than tell me what it was.
I grit my teeth and clench my fists in the unending frustration but I know it accomplishes nothing but the smallest bit of release of all my pent up emotions.
"Why did you have to go Raven...why won't you at least let me try to help you...try to protect you...let all of us stand beside you as you have done so many times for us." I ask the questions to the emptiness in front of me and I expect absolutely no answer except for a small bit of wind blowing across the high altitude of the roof.
I know she is running away from her past, more than likely the same thing that brought her into my life. I know I am the last one to talk about running from one's past as few have done it better than I have.. How many people actually create an entirely different persona so that they can deny the reality of who they once were? I shake my head slightly at my thoughts. A few seconds later I hear the quiet screech of the roof door opening slowly and I turn to see who it is. I find Starfire, peeking her head out a barely open door, looking curiously around the roof before her large green eyes settle on my form. I give her a small smile before turning back to my gazing of the horizon. I can sense her tentatively floating over and I await for the inevitable...
"Robin?" Her soft and sweet voice floats through the air toward me and I can't help but smile to myself a little bit. The soothing gentleness helps to ease my pain a little bit though does nothing to counteract the gaping emptiness I feel at this moment in my chest. I make no effort to respond as I can't think of anything to say that will help with the reality that soon, all the Titans will have to face. It is only a matter of time before she sits down next to me, her long, smooth legs dangling quite a bit further than my own. We sit in silence for a bit and Starfire noticeably fidgets next to me, definitely a person not capable of sitting still for very long but that could be said for most of the Titans, including myself most of the time. However, right now is one of those moments I could sit forever, doing very little, just like when me and Raven would read quietly together on those rare occasions.
"She's gone Star. She left today." I don't look at Starfire but I'm sure her eyes have gone wide. There is only one 'she' I could be talking about so she knows who has left us. She tries to speak, her voice already breaking under the news.
"Why...Raven did not...did not leave because of the party we threw her. We only had the best intentions and...and...and..." The young woman's voice is filled with total confusion and uncertainty, straining for an answer as she knows that the party had nothing to do with Raven leaving. We all knew Raven well enough to know she would never leave for something like that.
"Please Robin...please tell me it is not because of me...please..." Her voice is barely above a whisper and I finally turn to face her, the tears already starting to fall from her eyes. Guilt, terrible, crippling guilt. How I know it all to well. I reach out and take one of Starfire's hands in my own, and give her the largest smile I can muster.
"Star...I don't know why she left but I do know it is not any of our faults. At least understand that." She nods slightly though the tears don't stop their descent. I know I don't believe anything I am saying because my nightmare still lingers within all my senses and I know that though the other Titans may be guiltless for Raven leaving, I am not free of that guilt. Starfire sobs to herself, her head lowered, her entire body quivering.
"Why did she have to leave...why did she have to leave us...I don't understand!" On the inside, I am sure a part of me wants to break down exactly like Starfire is doing in front of me, but right now, I need to be the strong one for the teams sake. I pull Starfire into a gentle embrace and she begins to sob harder, clutching on to me tightly as if she is afraid I will leave her too. I knew Starfire would take it the hardest of the other Titans because of the recent events occurring between Raven and her along with the extreme sensitivity that was simply a strong part of the young woman. She continues to cry for Raven's departure as well as many other things that she probably feared would never be resolved between her and the closest thing she ever truly had to a sister and all I can do is hold her tight, trying to be the rock for her. However, my mind has already drifted away, though my body and instincts remain to comfort her. All my mind can think about is a cloaked young woman and how I can no longer envision a future without her being a part of it. How did it come to this.
Raven P.O.V:
I find myself moving toward my destination knowing my purpose though I move almost as slow as I can, in absolutely no rush to leave behind the second place I could truly call home. However, I have no choice...no choice at all. Slade's return made that clear to me, though no less easy. The Titans were my family and Robin...he was special beyond description to me. I can feel my heart slowly beginning to break after my final encounter with Robin, knowing that I will never see the one I love with all my heart ever again. I will never feel his comforting touch or hear his kind words or simply ever know what color eyes he has hidden behind that mask. These are devastating thoughts for me and I am sure something is being destroyed somewhere, but I can't repress these feelings, can't stop the hurt that is creeping into my shadowed soul.
I hate myself for leaving behind the Titans, for not even having the strength to say good bye to anyone but Robin, and even then I never said good bye, only I quit. I know deep inside he would understand what I am doing but I can't tell him the truth. If he knew that I was truly a demonic monster, the daughter of a far darker being than even Slade and what my destiny truly was, he would be disgusted by me just like everyone else who ever learned the horrible truth. He would hate me and turn against me, and my destiny is the only thing that scares me more than that coming true. Instead, I will run away again, run from the very life I have always longed for in my most optimistic of dreams because it is the right thing to do in order to protect them all and it is easier than facing the truth. If Slade can not find me, then he can't ensure the culmination of the prophecy, and that will mean those I love will continue to be safe from that which has followed me since birth and will be safe from the truth of the thing I am.
I finally land in a heavily forested area a few miles outside of Jump City, a place that is completely uninhabited by human life, a place I have not been since I came to this dimension 2 years ago. To almost anyone, there seems to be absolutely nothing around me except trees but that is how it is meant to be, to conceal what is hidden here. I quietly say a small spell and make a few hand gestures. A small bit of magic energy is released and the reality in front of me begins to shimmer and change by my will. Slowly, a small stone opening comes into existence in front of me, appearing strong and sturdy where nothing stood before. Contained within is the place where my feet first felt the ground of this dimension, of this planet called Earth. I slowly glide into the opening, the entrance disappearing after I pass through, once again concealing itself from those without the knowledge and the power to find it.
As I enter, torches along the stone walls burst alive, casting their light down the long staircase that is in front of me. I do not hesitate for a second as I walk down the ancient steps, taking no notice of the rune symbols everywhere as I have seen them all before, know what they all say. I descend deeper and deeper into the Earth, eventually coming to a wall that appears to have no opening at all though I know it is actually the door into the main chamber. To open it, all I must do is make my request, and if deemed acceptable, I would be granted entry. I take a long, deep breathe, knowing that I can no longer turn back, knowing that my wonderful time on Earth has finally come to an end. I had always hoped that by coming here I could find allies to aid me in my quest, in my search for freedom. I found so very much more. I did indeed find a group of powerful heroes that I knew would stand beside me no matter what but also I found a family, and also a young man I would give my everything to. However, on my birthday, it was shown to me that though the Titans are strong and cared for me as much as I cared for them, they were still absolutely no match for what I fight against, what I run from. I exhale my breathe and speak the words I hoped I would never have to say again.
"I, Raven of Azarath, seek entry. I must flee this world, this dimension in order to protect it and its people from my Father, to prevent it from falling into never-ending darkness." A few small, magical symbols appear on the door in front of me, one appearing after another until they form an outline of the entrance way. There is a sudden flash of blinding white light which I knew was to come and my way is made clear, my request granted.
I tentatively walk through the new doorway, knowing that I am truly leaving behind everything that I loved and it has finally become unbearable to take any more steps forward. I clench my small hands as I look back up the stairs, feeling the smallest bit of moisture forming in my eyes.
"I can't...I just can't..." I mutter the words quietly to myself, speaking what I know my heart is screaming but in my mind the answer is undeniable clear. I have to...I have to." I walk through the doorway into the main room, taking in the raw magical power that flows within this room. It is a large circular room with statues aligning the walls, last memorials to men and women of great power, heroes who had fought to imprison a great beast I knew all to well, all but one falling in the process. They also built this place, and others like it through out many dimensions. They were meant to be gateways, to make it possible to travel the dimensional gaps in order to fight the one who sought to consume it all.
I lock my gaze on one statue in particular, one I know above all others. She was the one who helped raise me, taught me almost everything I know about my powers as well as my destiny, my mentor Azar. She was a sorcerous of great power who forged many great weapons to fight the beast and was the only one fortunate enough to survive the imprisonment of Him. She lived countless lifetimes, more years than I think I ever will truly understand, and then finally one day, after completing my training, she simply died, as if her final purpose had finally been completed, no longer needing to continue her ancient existence.
I pull myself away from my brief reminiscing and venture to the center of the room. A large, circular stone stands before me with a diameter of probably 15 feet that seems to glow with an inner light. It is the portal that will take me to a new dimension, where Slade will be unable to find me, where my destiny will be staved off for hopefully a few more years. I need and despise this portal at the same time because I know it is my best hope, yet I hate it also for being the tool that will forever take me away from my friends. I also shudder slightly when I think about it because it reminds me of what I truly am, a portal born of hatred's fire.
I very reluctantly begin the activation chant for the portal, fighting down the lump in my throat and the ache deep within my heart. With the final words, the portal opens, a shimmering white light coming into existence within the stones interior. I make no move to approach it, feeling as if my legs weigh hundreds of pounds, unable to lift them. I keep seeing Robin's confused face as I told him I was leaving along with the faces of my other dear friends, knowing how much it probably hurt them all when Robin told them I was gone. Again the tears fight against my will, demanding to fall, and this time, they win. I can feel the tears beginning to roll down my cheeks, one after another, and soon I am sobbing openly, the sound of me crying echoing around the room.
"Damn you Slade. Damn you Father. Why won't you leave me alone? Why won't you just leave me alone!" My desperate scream echoes around the room but I receive no answer, the stone statues not answering my pleas.
"I love them all so much. I don't want to leave them...I don't want to leave Robin..."
"Your wish is granted demonspawn." The voice comes from nowhere and my body turns cold. Before I can even turn around, balls of fire are hurled at the stone portal, it soon crashing to the ground from the vicious assault. Unable to hold the magic anymore, there is a small explosion as the magic dissipated back into the chaos of the universe, causing me to take cover from flying stone by creating a black shield of energy around me. When all the dust finally clears, the room becomes completely silent again, my means of escaping my destiny lying broken on the floor, my final selfish plea answered by evil's messenger.
I turn around defensively expecting to find Slade and he does not disappoint. He stands in the doorway, a fireish glow outlining his body, his single eye mocking me.
"Hello again Raven and to think you were going to leave without even saying good bye. Now how is that the way to treat a close family friend." All I want to do at this moment is unleash all my anger, all my frustration, and all my pain upon this poor excuse for a human being. I can feel anger most of all clawing to the surface and it is that fact that forces me to calm down as best as I can, despite everything that is happening.
"Your Father thought that you might try to run away again and we just couldn't have that could we. I mean just how many people would you be letting down if you just went and left." I know he is smirking under his mask, he is always smirking under his mask and it annoys me to no end.
"You truly are a fool Slade, choosing to work for him. You can't even fathom what type of being he is, what he is planning for this dimension. I don't even think you would wish what he plans to do on this planet."
"Oh I know exactly who I am dealing with Raven and it is quite clear what your Father is going to do but in the end he has promised to give me something that no one else in this universe can, and for that, he earned himself a soldier." I smile slightly at his arrogance and stupidity, to believe himself to be above an expendable pawn in all of this.
"He will never keep his word Slade. He will betray you in the end." I know my words are absolute and am surprised when even his eye seems to smile at me.
"Little Raven, do not think that I am unintelligent enough to make a deal with the devil without having a little insurance." I have no response to this for I can think of no reason why he would ever believe he could outsmart or betray a being such as the one he served. Arrogance would indeed be Slade's downfall it would seem. His mission complete, Slade turns around, ready to disappear back into the shadows.
"Do not think you have won Slade. I will find another means to escape and I promise you will never find me. Tell that to your Master. He may be all-seeing when he is free, but he is just as blind as anyone else while he is a prisoner." Slade stops and I hear him laugh quietly to himself.
"Oh I don't think you'll be going anywhere Raven. You see, if I don't see you back at the tower very soon, I will simply destroy all your little friends." I feel my heart stop and I am sure my face grew even paler than I normally was.
"Leave them out of us this Slade. They have nothing to do with any of this." I try to sound strong, but my voice is visibly quivering. Again he laughs as he turns back to face me.
"I don't think so Raven. They are a part of this now. You made them a part of this and that is a fact." I cringe as he emphasizes the word 'You', knowing that he is right. They would have all been safe from this threat had I never came to Earth, had I never even existed.
" If you try to flee again Raven, I will destroy them all and you know I have enough power to do so. You might be the only one who could truly stand against me so if you wish them to be safe, you will return. If you run, I promise that they will all die and I will ensure that Robin's death is most especially long and painful." I can see the fire burning in his eye and I know he means every word. I can no longer look at him and lower my head, squeezing my eyes tight as I feel more tears starting to come but I won't cry in front of Slade. I am trapped and that has been completely revealed to me by my Father's lowly servant. There is no more running, not if I truly want to keep those I care about most safe. Slade disappears though I barely take any notice of that fact. There is far too much going on inside me to really care because in the end, he needs me far more than I will ever need him.
I have spent my entire life either learning to fight my destiny or running away from it, but now I know destiny will wait no longer. As I depart from this broken place, I can't help but understand the simple truth that the lives of four individuals can in no way match up with the lives of billions, yet deep within my heart, they do to me.