Random rants:
I want to thank everyone for your wonderful, amazing, reviews. I love you all. I don't know where i'd be without you ! Ok i exaggerated a little. only a little. but thank you very much. You really encourage me to keep writing! Ok so here is the thing. I took like twenty minutes and wrote out responses to all of the reviews that i got. And then my computer froze up. And i never pressed the little savey button, so im very sorry. Ill do it next chapter i promise. Now to discuss some things brought up in the reviews. I wanted to say thank you to everyone. Then i wanted to say that someone mentioned that last chapter there was a sentence where i said lorelai 'didn't think it was something they could work through' and i meant to say 'couldn't' . i also wanted to say that i also hate that they are eloping, but im trying to make it happy in the end. Just workin' with what i'm getting. And someone mentioned Rory was a little OOC, and im sorry if anyone thought that but ill try to keep her in character in the upcoming chapters.
Ok so...Cinny72- i wanted to say that i agree with you and i really wanted to show lorelai's part in the pining because ever since she and chris started dating, they seem to not show her caring that much anymore and i think that she really does, so i wanted to show it. Thank you for your review, it really made me happy.and i love long reviews, so keep em coming!
and dodgerrocks said they wanted chris to die...and as much as i dislike him... i dont think that will be happening. Why? because I hate chris so much that i don't want to make him into too big a part of my fic and therefore will not grant him the honor of dying. There i said it. phew. ok but thanks for your review. it made me laugh. the end.
and...finally...avesnovuelan told me to update or die...and i didn't want to die...so i updated . enjoy!
approximately one week later Lorelai was awakened by her bed shifting underneath her. She turned over to see Chris climbing into bed.
"Did you just get home?" Lorelai asked him, her voice raspy from sleep.
"Yeah. There was a lot of traffic." Chris explained why he was so late getting back from his business trip. He was supposed to be there by midnight. She turned over and glared at the clock which told her it was five to six in the morning. "I didn't want to drive in it so I hung at the hotel a little longer, got some sleep." She nodded, accepting his response. At the same time, however, she didn't really care if he was telling her the truth. Why? Why hadn't she missed him all that much? She was too tired to ask herself questions she already knew the answer to so she sat up in bed. "I have to get to work." She informed him.
"Have you thought about what I asked you? About Boston?" Chris asked her.
"I don't know Chris. This is my town. This is my house. Rory goes to school not an hour away, I don't want to make that any further. Plus, I have work here." She told him. He nodded and took her hand.
"Well if you change your mind." Chris told her.
"Okay." She said before she slipped her hand away and went into the bathroom to get ready.
By six thirty Lorelai was roaming the streets of Stars Hallow. She needed to get some caffeine in her system, but she could not have stayed at home any longer, and showing up at the inn this early would only result in questioning and sanity checks for the rest of the week. Instead she stood outside of Weston's Bakery which didn't open for another fifteen minutes. She hadn't drank coffee lately, she didn't know why. For some reason tea was her drink of choice for the past months. It had less caffeine in it, and it was a little lacking in taste but at the same time it was comforting to her. She turned around and leaned her back against the cold glass on the door of Weston's. She glared across the street to where a light was on inside of Luke's. How quickly things had changed. She remembered not that long ago when they were just friends. Best friends. He would do anything for her. For her to be happy. She remembered how they flirted and bantered constantly. How she helped him pick out paint chips, the Santa burger, how he took her to the hospital to see her dad. He was her hero. She pictured what it would be like if they were still friends. She would burst into the diner on a caffeine hunt, he would tell her how it would kill her, she would pout, he would give in. And her day would start. How quickly things had changed.
Lorelai caught sight of Luke coming down the stairs. He walked into the diner and picked up a garbage bag from inside of the kitchen. Lorelai's body became overwhelmed with pain and longing. When had things started to change? Her heart sped up when she realized she hadn't been paying attention, and when she looked up again Luke was outside, facing her from across the street. He was frozen, holding a bag of garbage. She couldn't move, couldn't avert her eyes, think of what to do or say. He nodded slightly, emotionlessly, before continuing his way down to the garbage bin. This was too much for her. Had he lashed out at her, screamed at her, yelled about how she broke his heart, Lorelai would have been able to handle it. Anger she could handle. Not this. Not nothing. It hurt her so much to see nothing in the eyes of a man who had once showed her so much love and passion.
Lorelai quickly made her way across the street, closing the space that was separating them. She was wearing her work clothes, but her hair was pulled back into a kind of haphazard bun in the back of her head, she didn't have time to make much of it this morning. Luke looked up from the street when she was in front of him, her arms folded across her chest.
"Hi." He said to her, still cold.
"Hey." She had walked up to him, she wanted to talk to him, why couldn't she think of anything to say. Now she was the one looking at her shoes. This was hopeless, did she really think that walking over to him would solve everything that had happened between them in the past months? Did she think that his face would soften, his voice would be warm, and that they could move forward? She shook her head in defeat and slightly embarassed she turned to walk away.
"So, I heard..." Luke said, still without emotion apparent in his voice. Lorelai immediatly turned around and faced him. She searced his face for some kind of emotion, some feeling. If she knew where he stood, maybe she would be more secure with her own feelings. If he absolutely hated her, maybe she would find it in herself to move on. She tried to think of a response.
"Yeah..." Lorelai said simply. She could have said a million different things, told a million differend jokes, or asked him a million different questions. And yet none of them seemed enough to encompass what she was feeling. What she needed from him. She didn't see where this conversation was headed, and since no one was talking she contemplated turning again, but that thought was immediatly interrupted.
"Lorelai..." Luke breathed, barely above a whisper, but dripping with pain, and loss. It was only one word, and Lorelai had heard it many different times throughout her whole life, it was this one time however that it made Lorelai weak in the knees. Not in the romantic kind of way, but in a way that made her sick to her stomach. He was hurting. It was her fault. What she heard in that one word told her exactly how he was feeling. She forced herself to look into his eyes, and when she did she was shocked to find that what she saw there was an exact reflection of her own. Of what she saw in herself when she stared into the mirror after she made sure she locked securely in the bathroom every morning, the shower running in the background.
He looked like he wanted to say something, but he struggled to find the words. "Are you...happy?" He asked her softly, Luke let his emotions flow through his words. He dropped the smug, tough guy, you proposed to me, attitude he had been carrying around.
There were no words, but in that one moment she let her guard down, to the only man she had ever let her guard down to, and she looked him directly in the eyes and allowed him to see straight through her. Finally she answered him, just in case there was any doubt that made him question what he saw. "I...I have to be...I...will... be." She said to him, slowly.
"For who?" He asked her sincerely.
"For..for Rory. For Chris. For me. I have to be happy, Luke." Lorelai said, letting his name role off of her tongue. She had missed him so much.
"Do you...Love him?" Luke said, almost nonchalantly. He had to ask her, he had to know. As much as it pained him, he needed to know.
"Luke..."Lorelai pleaded with him. She looked back at him, unable to answer his question. Lorelai Gilmore, at a loss for words. Luke got his answer.
"Then why are you doing this? Why did you marry him?" Luke asked her, letting his emotions show once again.
"Please stop." Lorelai pleaded, just above a whisper. "Don't. Don't do this. Please." She begged. Luke only looked back at her. "This is too hard...I cant- I have to-" She motioned her head painfully to somewhere in the vicinity of Westons Bakery. Luke nodded back at her and they both turned and went their separate ways. Lorelai found it hard to walk, but she willed herself to do it. She crossed the street and opened the door to Weston's, which had opened five minutes ago.
When Lorelai returned from work that evening she walked into the kitched of her house. Chris, who had been preparing pizza bagels looked up upon noticing her arrival. She was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, her face was paler than usual and her eyes were dark. He walked over and put his hand on her arm, and looked at her expectantly.
"I want to move." She finally made out. She looked him in the eye for the first time. "to Boston."
a/n- review please!! The title of the chapter is Beauty in the Breakdown which of course is a line from the song Let Go by Frou Frou, and that one i am sure of because who has a name like Frou Frou? anyway its a good song and its from the soundtrack of Garden State, which i hear is a very good movie and i really plan on watching it some day...
also- don't hate me, this story will turn out happy for Luke and Lorelai, so i need you to hold on and buckle up for the ride. It is going to be fun. I promise. I just have to include a lot of the emotional components that are needed because lets face it. A lot happened between them and they have to start to work through that. Ok im done now. review me please! I promise to update soon.thank you for reading!