Ok so I just found out that there is such a thing as a Lorelai/Chris fan. I had no idea. I think that my open-mindedness and normally high perception of people was clouded by my impulsive need to gag, or say the word "gag" every time his name is mentioned. example: Christopher. Gag. the end.

I don't know where that came from. Ook so I know I haven't updated in a while but that's life right? Right. I'm actually really sorry about that but I have a lot of school work which I should actually be doing right now but I was inspired so I decided to write this chapter instead. Please review me. Thanks for reading.

Chapter 4: You Can't Stay Here…With every single hope you had Shattered

(in a big country. Dashboard Confessional)

"I'm so sorry, I could try to cut out early but I don't know how well that's gonna go over with the boss, and even then I don't know how much I'll be there for." Chris told her apologetically.

"Yeah, no problem," Lorelai assured him. "Really, it's ok. I think this is something I have to do on my own anyway."

"You sure?" Chris asked her.

"Sure." Lorelai said, trying to sound convincing.

"Ok, well then I guess I will see you later then."

"Yep," Lorelai said, trying to cover the disappointment in her voice.

"Love ya." Chris said tentatively, making sure that she was really ok.

"Okay…" Lorelai said. "Bye." She hung up the phone quickly. She knew she had to mentally prepare herself for what she was about to do. "Hey Rory…" Lorelai called for her daughter.

"Yeah-" Rory answered her coming out from her room. "You ready?" She asked while she put her coat on.

"I have to be." Lorelai told her. Rory nodded understandingly and linked her arm with her mothers before they made there way out the door.

As Lorelai and Rory made their way into Patty's Dance Studio, a hush swept over the crowd of people that were sitting inside. Lorelai looked at the faces, people she had known for so long now. Babbette, Kirk, Taylor, Gypsy, Andrew, and front row center were Sookie, Jackson and their kids. They were all here. For so long they were her Friends, her neighbors, her family. Miss Patty was at the front of the room gently wiping her eyes with a tissue. Lorelai and Rory sat in the front row next to Sookie. Taylor stood up and started to speak about God knows what. Lorelai's mind was racing. How was she supposed to do this? Her thoughts, and Taylor's lecture, were interrupted by Patty blowing her nose forcefully.

"Eh hem." Taylor cleared his throat before turning back to the audience. "Now, certain people think that it is acceptable to actually go into town square after-"

"Shut up Taylor." Gypsy yelled, interrupting him. It was responded with approving remarks and nods.

"Yeah come on! We want to hear Lorelai!" Babette yelled.

"Yeah!"

Lorelai turned in her seat and looked around the room before looking back at Taylor.

"I wont be long." She told him.

Taylor turned to Patty. "Come on Taylor, let the woman speak." She said, still wiping her face. Taylor turned to the audience.

"All say Aye who would rather hear Lorelai speak than think of a way to settle the huge crisis in town square which will most likely turn into-"

"Aye!" Yelled every one, cutting him off.

"Fine. Lorelai-" Taylor said motioning to her with his hand in defeat. Lorelai stood up and straightened her skirt. She took the piece of paper she had up to the podium and she turned around and faced stars hallow. This was harder than she thought it would be. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ears before she cleared her throat.

"Wow." She said out loud, letting out a nervous laugh. "Ok." She looked at her paper.

"Citizens of Stars Hallow, I would like to start by saying that-" Lorelai was interrupted when the door to the dance studio creaked open. She looked up and made Eye contact with Luke Danes. He nodded to her and without looking away he took a seat in the back of the room. Whispers went through the studio when everyone noticed who had walked in. When it got quiet again Lorelai looked down at her piece of paper, breathed deeply, and began again.

"Citizens of Stars Hallow, I would like to start out by saying that There is no place in the world that I will ever love as much as this Town. It has been my home for so long, the place where I raised my daughter, and all of you took us into your lives, and your hearts, as if we were family." Every so often Lorelai would look up from the paper, trying to look at her audience, but for some reason the only person she could see was Luke. So every time she looked up, she found his eyes looking back at her, and in them she found a source of confidence that she didn't know she had in her.

"I love each and every one of you in your own way. This town is my life. It is my heart. It is so much a part of who I am, and I never thought I would be leaving it. But there comes a time in everyone's lives where things change, life changes, people change. And now I have to go. As most of you probably know already, I will not be selling my house. Rory will still be attending Yale and will most likely need a place to stay sometimes, and of course I will be visiting often. Also in regards to the inn, I will still be a partial owner although I have hired a very talented woman to take my place as temporary manager, she will be in charge when I am not here. This town means so much to me, and I just had to say goodbye before I left…"

By this time her face was wet with tears. "You helped raise my daughter, and you helped to raise me. I am going to miss you guys so much, your quirkiness, your charm. I love you all, from the bottom of my hearts, even you kirk…" She laughed slightly when she saw he too was crying. She looked up once more to find an empty seat where Luke had been sitting. She filled with panic as she searched the room and he was no where to be found.

"I'll be right back-" Lorelai said quickly to the room full of people before she made her way outside, clutching her jacket tightly around her.

"Mom?" Rory questioned.

"I'll be right back" Lorelai assured her before she shut the door behind her. The cold wind stung her cheeks and she turned around, looking for Luke. Where would he go? She asked herself. She saw her breath expand in front of her face, and she decided to run over to the diner, that's where he had to be.

She ran up to the front door and started to bang on the glass with the palm of her hand. All of the lights were off. She picked up a stone from the ground and threw it at the window to his apartment, but she got no response. Why would he want to talk to her anyway? She turned around in defeat and faced the square. She gasped when she saw a dark figure sitting in the gazebo, hunched over, looking at his hands. Luke Danes. She walked calmly to the steps, assuring herself that she could face him. She started to ascend the steps, and he jumped slightly when he heard her heals click against the wood of the steps. She looked into his eyes, and upon realizing how much she had missed him, she said the first thing that came to her mind.

"What the hell was that?" She said quietly, wanting an explanation.

"What was what?" Luke asked her, clueless.

"You walked out on my goodbye!" Lorelai told him pointedly, with a hint of anger.

"You were saying goodbye to the town." Luke said.

"I was saying goodbye to you!" Lorelai said almost pleadingly.

"and the rest of the town." Luke explained.

"You just walked out. We were friends, best friends, for what? Ten years? And you were just going to walk out? Let me leave with out hearing me say goodbye?" Lorelai said, not knowing where her words were coming from.

"You were just going to leave without saying goodbye?" Luke spat back at her.

"I was saying goodbye!" Lorelai said, raising her voice slightly.

"To the town!" Luke said just as loudly. "You told Kirk you loved him for God sakes." Lorelai realized they weren't getting anywhere and she groaned loudly before she sat next to him on the bench. He turned to face her and she looked back at him sadly. She nudged his shoulder a little with her own.

"I'm going to miss you. I- I do miss- you." Lorelai let him know, still unable to look away from him.

"I know a lot happened-" Luke started.

"Shh." Lorelai cut him off. "not now." He nodded. She started to cry a little and he longed to wrap his arms around her and hold her until she felt better. She longed for him to do the same. Instead he just stroked her hand lightly with his thumb. It was enough. She looked up at him and was shocked that his face was wet too. "This is so hard." She told him. He nodded in agreement. She sniffled a little and tried to regain her composure. "I-um." She tried to make out, squeezing her eyes tightly to stop the crying. "I should get going." She said after she opened her eyes again. He nodded slightly, but was holding something back.

"Bye, Luke." She said, almost casually, but knowing how much meaning it had to the both of them.

"Bye Lorelai." She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. He was shocked at first, but then he slid his arms around her waist and squeezed her tightly. She swayed back and forth slightly, and with all the strength she had left in her, she willed herself to let him go. She had to, didn't she? She inhaled deeply through and wiping her face off, she stood to go. She turned one last time before she started to descend the steps.

"No-" Luke let out forcefully.

"What?" She asked him, confused.

"Don't- don't go." He said instructing her. She put her hand to her face.

"I have to." Lorelai said, shaking her head at him. Why was he making this so hard for her?

"Don't go." Luke said.

"Please…" She pleaded with him to stop. She had to remind herself why she was moving. Chris. She had to go. Luke wasn't keeping her here anymore. They were over. He would never forgive her for what she did. She would never forgive her for what she did. She was married. They were over.

"Lorelai-" He said, his words filled with meaning and unspoken feelings.

"I'm married Luke. To Chris." She said, watching the pain shoot through his face, and secretly hating herself. "You let me go, you let me walk away."

"You walked away." Luke said just above a whisper. She was silent for awhile, not wanting to fight anymore, and they shared a long stare.

"Bye Luke." She said again, with a little more finality than she had said it before. She turned around and walked away, once again.

(to the tune of grand old flag) re view review ree view re vieew review, and review oh! review me please. It is the ree viewers of this fic I love, the reviews oh reviews, in the home of the free and the brave. Every review beats true for the ree ee e view….

Ok I give up, but I get an A for effort right? Hm. it's the thought that counts.

Eh hem. I had too much caffeine today. Anyway. I'm actually pretty sick of writing sad LL scenes, but I feel like they have to get over so much before they can live happily ever after, and I have a story line to take it through, and I realize its kind of depressing but im really trying to be true to the story line and the characters, and they are both so friggen stubborn, and Lorelai is married now so….I don't know I want to make it happy, and im getting there just hang with me. If it wasn't so sad though, it would mean luke wasn't in it and I guess sad luke scenes are better than no luke scenes, a concept that the writers of the show seem to have forgotten. Ok, because really, they have to talk if they want to make up, and they have to fight, so they can move on. Whatever. Ok the end of my rant. Review now.

java junkie. Ness.