a/n...ok so i decided to incorporate the spoilers from 11/21 into this chapter a little bit, although not exactly cuz i don't really know what april's medical emergency is so i improvised and brought it in to the fic, because i frankly could not wait...so here you go... and thanks everyone for reviewing, and i encourage more people to do so..it really makes me happy...
This weeks rant...
ahhhh.ew.ew.ew.ew gag gag gag oh my god! So for the majority of the episode i was completely ready to just barf all over the floor.. ew! Lorelai was all like...im so happy...i love you...blahblahblah.! i don't know, i don't beleive it, i think shes covering how unhappy she is by saying that shes happy, she didn't convince me at all though...it took her ten years to admit to luke that she loved him, and she said he was the first guy she ever really loved, meaning she never really loved chris, and no matter how many times she says it i don't believe her! and then the end of the episode...chris totally pushed her into marrying him and she totally didn't want to do it! I wasn't sure at first but when he left the room at the end and she was sitting on the couch looking sad i was like hell yeah! im getting so sick of happy chris/lorelai moments, i sooo needed to see that expression on her face at the end! shes not happy! i knew it...and the promos for next week? YES! omg i can't wait! I mean luke punching chris in the face, meerly satisfying, but this is a full beat down, ihavetotakeoffmycoatcuzitsholdingmeback fight! yes! and you know Luke is totally gonna beat the crap out of him cuz hello? Im so excited. and then the spoilers for next week and um the next couple of months are all pro LL and i am so happy! im all for Lorelai's epiphany even if i have to wait until january or febuary for it...aww luke is so sweet...but if hes helping out emily doesn't that mean him and Lorelai are talking again and are friends again? meaning more LL moments in between that we don't know about yet? i think so... There is hope in the world again! Down with chris!
and ehhem...that whole line, "id sleep on any bench with you" was that supposed to be romantic? cuz i thought it was soooo cheesy... but then again i think everything that man says is che. ok the end. :) chris makes me go like this...gag!
Review please! and excuse my fluffiness. thanks.
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Chapter 8: I Never Knew The Meaning Of Christmas...'till I looked into your eyes
(yes, its Nsync! i admit it!)
It was Christmas Eve and Lorelai was laying in bed, unable to sleep for what seemed like hours now. Christmas used to be one of her favorite holidays, this year she was sure it was not going to be so merry. The rain, yes rain, was pouring heavily on the roof above her. If it were ten degrees colder she knew that it would be snow. Chris' arm was draped protectively around her and she stared up at the dark ceiling, the room only being lit every so often by a flash of lightening. Tomorrow night Richard and Emily Gilmore would be coming out to Boston to spend christmas with them. This would be the first time they had seen how Lorelai was living with her new apartment and her marriage, and as much as she pretended that she didn't care what her parents thought, deep down she really longed for their acceptance and love.
Lorelai closed her eyes, hoping that when she awoke, the streets outside of her window would be covered in snow. She closed her eyes but was awoken quickly when her cellphone started to vibrate loudly against the table. The caller ID said number not available. She looked at the clock, it was twelve thirty and being that Rory was in the other room she couldn't think who it would be. She opened it quickly so that it would not wake anyone else.
"Hatred..." She mumbled sleepily to whoever was on the other end for having disturbed her getting back to sleep, she put her head back on the pillow.
"Lorelai?" A voice came from the other end. Lorelai immediatly recognized it and she removed Chris' arm from her waist so that she could sit up fully.
"Luke?" She asked. His voice scared her, it was filled with fear and confusion, and he almost seemed lost. She also had not spoken to him since the last time she was in Stars Hollow.
"Sorry. I know I probably shouldn't have called, I didn't know who else to talk to." He said quietly from the other end.
"what's wrong?" She asked sweetly and slowly, her voice concerned..
"April. She- the road was slippery-" He made out in fragments. "the car- and now..." He couldn't finish a sentence.
"Hey- rewind...where are you?" She asked him.
"Hartford Community" He said.
"Is April Okay?" She asked concern apparent in her voice.
"She's- I don't know. The doctor said she has a slight concussion, she hasn't woken up yet." He made out.
"Who was driving?"
"Anna. She's okay. Apparently the way the side of the car hit the tree, she only had a few scrapes. The hospital called a couple of hours ago- I didn't know who else to talk to..." He said. His voice scared her more than anything, she had never heard him sound so afraid and vulnerable.
"hey...It's gonna be okay..." She said trying to soothe him. She heard sniffling from the other end.
"I'm so scared." He said weakly, his voice shakey.
"Shh..."she tried to calm him down. She felt an arm snake back around her waist.
"Who is it baby?" Chris asked groggily, his eyes still shut.
"go back to sleep." She assured him quietly.
"I shouldn't have called." Luke stated, having heard christopher's voice it reminded him that he no longer had a place in Lorelai's life. "I'm sorry."
"Lu-" She went to stop him before she heard a click on the other end and the line went dead. crap. She thought. She pressed the redial button on her phone but noone answered from the other end, she assumed it was a payphone since it wasn't Luke's number. Damn it. She quickly got out of bed and slipped her jeans on that were on the floor next to her bed. She grabbed a sweatshirt and was putting it on when she heard Chris' voice.
"Where are you going?" He asked her confused.
"Hartford. I'll call you tomorrow okay?" She asked him.
"Tomorrow's Christmas Lor..." He told her. "Your parents are coming remember?"
"There's something I really have to take care of." She said quietly, almost pleading with him to understand. "We'll talk tomorrow." With that she slipped the rest of the sweatshirt over her head before she grabbed her purse and shut the door behind her.
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Two hours later Lorelai was outside of Hartford Community hospital, It was raining so hard she could barely see the road in front of her, and the whole time the only thing she could think of was Luke's voice. She parked in the nearest spot, which was not very close and started to run towards the building, the rain was soaking through her and by the time the emergency room doors opened in front of her she was sure that there was not a dry hair on her head. She made her way to the front desk, tucking some of her wet hair behind her ear.
"April Nardini?" She asked the woman.
"Relation?" The woman behind the desk asked. Lorelai realized that she now had no relation to this girl who would have been her stepdaughter. She considered lying for a second but then decided to take a different approach.
"look, Its Christmas, I just drove two hours through sheets of rain that Clark Kent couldn't see past, left my kid at home to be here, parked my car a mile away, and now I'm standing here with enough water on me to provide for a five year drought, now April Nardini please." She said pleadingly.
"Third floor, room 125a" The woman said in defeat.
"Thank you." Lorelai responded before quickly making her way to the elevator. She pushed the button impatiently multiple times before it responded by opening in front of her. Three floors up an anxious Lorelai shuffled through hallways to try to find room 125, instead she stumbled upon a waiting area. She looked around at the people sitting there without advancing any further. Thats when a certain brunette caught her eye, Anna. She looked miserable, like she hadn't slept in a very long time, her hair was a mess and her face was cold and distant. Lorelai glanced to the seat next to Anna and she was happy she was in a hospital because her heart nearly stopped when she saw Luke sitting there, hunched over. His elbows were on his knees and his hands were resting on the back of his head, behind the brim of his hat. The whole room blurred around her and he was the only thing that she could see.
"Luke..." Lorelai said from across the room. Luke immediatly looked up and when it hit him that it was in fact Lorelai Gilmore standing across the room from him, he let his body take over. He quickly got up from his chair and rushed towards her, and she did the same, meeting him halfway into the room in a powerful embrace. She wrapped one arm tightly behind his back and held his head with the other. His hands were securely around her waist. She held him just as tightly as he was holding her, hoping that it would let him know that she was there for him, in whatever he needed. Lorelai felt herself melt into him, and she realized just how much she missed this man that was holding her so closely. She missed the way that he smelled, the feel of his stubble against her cheek, his strong hands around her waist. She struggled to keep her mind on why she was there, and why eventually, she would have to go back to Boston.
"You came..." He whispered in her ear gratefully, surprised. She knew her clothes were soaking through his at the moment but neither seemed to care very much.
"Of course..I...came.." She said assuringly. That was all that he needed to know. He backed away slowly, and reluctantly she did the same. "How is she?" She asked him concerned.
"she still hasn't woken up yet. The doctors say that it should be within the next couple of days, but it's different for everyone." He said, his voice overcome with fear.
"How are you?" She asked. He just looked back at her, his eyes telling her everything. How could he begin to describe what he was feeling? She understood. It was then that she looked past Luke and saw Anna sitting on the chair, watching them with a hint of surprise in her features, yet forcefully trying to hide it. Lorelai separated from Luke.
"Hey..." She said to Anna, who nodded back at her, unable to speak. Lorelai understood her pain, if anything this serious ever happened to Rory...she didn't know how she would react.
"They won't let us in to see her." Luke told her. She lead him to a pair of seats next to where Anna was sitting.
"I'm going to get some coffee." Anna said before she excused herself to go.
"What, why?" Lorelai asked quietly, cautiously.
"Visiting hours..." He explained. "So we've just been sitting here."
"Yeah..." Lorelai said not knowing what else to say. She swallowed hard as she reached out and grabbed his hand. He looked up at her slowly and when he met her eyes she was afraid of what she saw there.
"What if she..." He couldn't finish his sentence.
"Hey..." She said quietly. "Don't talk like that...She's going to be fine..."
"How do you know?" He asked her.
"Because I know." She said squeezing his hand. He looked at her skeptically and she decided to go further. "Because Luke, when I look at her I see you. I see your strength, and your gentleness, and kindness." She told him sweetly. "And sometimes you can be very, very stubborn," She laughed quietly. "in order to protect the people you love, and if she got that gene from you too, she's going to make it through this." She said, trying to lighten him up a bit.
"Thanks." he said, wanting to let her know how much her just being there was helping him. She gave him a small tentative smile.
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A while later Anna came back into the room holding a cup and sat down across from them. "Anything?" Luke asked her hopefully. She shook her head no.
"You should really get some sleep, you have been here long enough and they won't even let us see her until tomorrow." Luke gave her a glance that meant no way was he leaving. "Really I've got it covered I promise. Go home, come back tomorrow." She told him. Luke turned to Lorelai who had not yet let go of his hand.
"She's right. You need sleep." She told him. "Or rest at least."
"I don't know..." Luke said. As much as he hated hospitals, he wanted to be there for his daughter. But Anna was right, no progress was being made and staying there wasn't doing anybody any good. "What about you?" He asked Anna.
"I think i could use being alone right now." She told him, looking into his eyes to assure him she would be okay. "I'm fine. Go." She stated.
"Yeah, I'll drive you and we'll be back tomorrow..." Lorelai said. He didn't look like he was in any state to be driving, and she knew that her jeep was much safer than his truck in the icy weather.
"You sure?" He asked her, noticing that she had said we, meaning that she would be with him.
"Yeah...Come on." She said standing up, he followed her. When they got outside the rain had started to slow down. Lorelai drove home and Luke was collapsed in the seat next to her, staring at the droplets of water rolling down the window. She recognized his expression and she removed one of her hands from the wheel and held his. He turned to her when he felt the contact. Her hand was warm and soft, and her touch was caring. He had missed her touch, her love, her smile. He didn't realize how much apart of his life Lorelai was until she wasn't in it anymore. He felt like a part of himself was missing, like he was only a shadow of who he was with her. He knew that he would regret taking her for granted until the day that he died.
"Thanks. For everything." He told her. Lorelai smiled at him.
"What are best friend's for?" She asked him, her eyes watering up a little. It amazed her that after everything they had been through, how they hurt eachother and lied to eachother, that here they were once again. After everything that had happen in the past year he was still here, he was still her best friend. She hated that things went so wrong between them, but sometimes she questioned herself that if it wasn't meant to be, if she really was meant to be with a guy like Christopher, why did she have that feeling in her stomach? Why did she feel such a strong connection with him, and why did they keep ending up here? Secretly she also wondered where they would be if Christopher and her never started dating again, would Luke and her ever get back together, would he ever trust her like that again? Of course not, the only reason he was friends with her now was because he knew that she was married and it was strictly friendship, right? He offered a small smile and nodded back before he turned to the window again.
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By the time Lorelai stopped in front of the diner, she was completely worn out from everything that had happened that night. It was three in the morning and she was sure that Luke had not slept a wink the whole ride, but his eyes were closed and his head was rested against the window.
"Hey...We're here..." She told him quietly, and he opened his eyes. He didn't move from the car.
"Do you want...some coffee?" He asked her.
"Sure." She knew that he needed her now and she wasn't going to let him down. She put the car into park and followed Luke inside the dark diner. She started to make her way to the counter but was surprised when Luke made his way over to the curtain by the stairs.
He led her up his apartment steps and opened the door inviting her in. She sat on the couch and he made her a cup of coffee before he sat down next to her, sighing loudly.
"You okay?" She asked him before taking a sip.
"I don't know." He told her. "I can't even explain it."
"I get that." She said, searching his face for whatever he was feeling. They sat there in silence for a while, Luke looking at the ceiling and Lorelai looking into her cup. They were just comforted by eachothers presence. "I mean, you must be so scared." She said, trying to open him up, wanting to talk to him but not push him to far.
"I am. I don't know what I would do..." He trailed off.
"She's gonna be okay Luke." She assured him quietly.
"I know. I just- I mean I knew she was my kid, and I knew how much I loved her...It's just when something like this happens...I didn't know how it would feel, how i would would react..you know?" He asked her trying to explain himself.
"I know..." She said remembering when she got Rory's call from the hospital.
"You shouldn't take anyone for granted." He says pointedly, a part of him wanting to show Lorelai how sorry he is for how he treated her. His statement effectively made their conversation a little too uncomfortable for Lorelai's liking. She finished her coffee and placed it on the table in front of her. "I should go...I'll be back tomorrow morning, whatever time you want to leave just call me. I'll be here." He nodded. She was at the door before she turned around. "Promise me you'll get some sleep." She said.
"I'll try." He told her. The door was almost completely closed when he stopped her.
"Lorelai..." He said, catching her attention.
"Yeah?" She asked returning quickly.
"Could you...Stay?" He asked her. She was taken aback, but cautiously entered the room again, shutting the door behind her.
"You mean for the night?" She asked quietly.
"Yeah...I mean you could take the bed, I'd take the couch but...It's dumb for you to come back in a couple of hours to get me...just...stay..." He said slowly, choosing his words carefully yet stumbling over himself at the same time.
"Okay." She said casually. "But you take the bed, I'll get the couch, you need it more than I do..." he accepted appreciatively before he climbed into bed and she collapsed on the couch next to it.
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A couple of hours later Lorelai awoke quickly. She was confused at first but then the events of the night before quickly overcame her. It was still dark and Lorelai glanced across the room. Luke was laying in bed, facing the ceiling. She knew that he hadn't been able to go to sleep. She was more startled when she spotted a tear running down his cheek, and he quickly wiped it away, sniffling quietly. In all the years that she had known Luke, she had never seen him like this, she had never seen him cry. That's not completely true, she reminded herself, she saw him cry at Rory's graduation but that was different. Here he was, weak, scared and almost visibly shaking. The man who had always been there for her, had always been her rock.
"Luke?" Lorelai asked quietly. He turned to face her, slightly embarrassed but unable to overcome the tears that were slowly escaping his eyes. She felt an aching in her heart and she knew what she had to do. She swallowed back her fear before she stood up and crossed over the room to his bed and sat by his side. "Hey..." She tried to calm him down, but at her touch he only lost it even more. She scooted on the bed and lie down facing him and stroked the side of his face. She felt her stomach drop. "It's okay...she's gonna be okay..." She assured him quietly, he nodded before he slid his arm around her, holding her to him tightly. She let him cry before she felt them both drift off to sleep.
"Lorelai-" Luke awoke her from the side of the bed. Lorelai shifted and squinted to open her eyes."That was Anna...April's awake..."
"Luke thats great!" Lorelai assured him.
"Come on, I'll drive, you sleep in the car." He told her, his voice anxious to see his daughter. Luke reached out his hand and helped her from the bed, placing a thermos of hot coffee in her other hand, and led a partially sleeping Lorelai out to the car.
They were halfway to Hartford when Lorelai spoke, her head against the window and her eyes still closed. "I told you she would be fine." She stold him
"I know." He said, his voice still a little nervous since Anna was a little vague on the details.
"She's so strong." She said still not opening her eyes.
"Mmm." Luke agreed.
"Like you." She finished. Luke gave a small smile knowing that Lorelai wouldn't see it anyway before he stepped on the gas a little harder hoping to see his daughter as soon as he could.
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Lorelai was standing outside of April's hospital room. Luke was inside with Anna and they were talking to her. Lorelai was sure that it wasn't her place to go inside and she decided to give Luke and Anna more time with their daughter. She was dialing Rory's cell number when her phone started to ring.
"Hello?" She asked.
"Mom where are you? What happened, dad said you left for Hartford last night is everything okay?" Rory asked from the other end.
"Yeah...everythings fine..." She told her daughter.
"What happened?" Rory asked.
"Um...it was April, she was in a car accident." Lorelai told Rory.
"Oh my god is she okay? Is Luke okay?" Rory asked.
"Yeah, everyone's fine hun...listen i'll be home in a couple of hours, try to clean up for me before your grandparents get there..." Lorelai told her.
"okay..hey mom?" Rory said
"Yeah babe?" Lorelai said.
"Tell Luke i'm happy he's okay." Rory told her mom.
"sure, and tell chris i'll be home soon"
"kay"
"Merry Christmas baby, I love you." Lorelai said to her daughter.
"Love you too mom, see you soon." Rory said, and with that Lorelai closed her phone. When she looked up she saw Luke standing in the doorway to April's room. He had heard the tail-end of Lorelai's conversation and assuming she had been talking to Chris, his face grew cold.
"Rory." Lorelai assured him when she noticed his reaction. "she wanted me to tell you that she's happy you're okay." His face immediatly lightened, aand his cheeks blushed slightly. "I should get back to Boston, they're waiting for me..." Lorelai said sadly.
"Sure, yeah...I mean it is Christmas." Luke said. "Do you want to, see April before you go?" He asked her.
"Really?" Lorelai asked surprised, after all of the effort Luke had gone through trying to keep Lorelai out of April's life, there he was inviting her to walk right in and talk to her.
"Really." He said assuringly.
"Ok." She stated happily. She walked into the room where Anna was sitting next to April's bed. April looked up and immediatly her face lit up.
"Lorelai!" She said excitedly, although she was still drowsy.
"Hey sweetie!" Lorelai said. Anna excused herself from the room, trying to hide her jealosy in how her daughter and fathers ex, communicated.
Now that she was alone in the room Lorelai sat down in the chair next to the bed. "We were all so worried about you..." Lorelai told her.
"I can't believe you came..." April said appreciatively.
"Of course I came..." Lorelai said, repeating herself from earlier that day. April's face softened into a small smile.
"I knew you still loved him." She said quietly, adjusting her glasses. Lorelai leaned in closer to April and brushed a hair off of her face.
"Yeah kid... I guess I do." She admitted quietly looking at her hands. "I should go."
"Merry Christmas Lorelai." April said from the bed.
"Merry Christmas." Lorelai leaned over and kissed April on the forehead before she left the room, meeting Luke outside.
"So this is it..." Luke said, sensing that she would be leaving soon, going back to her family.
"Hey...It's snowing!" Lorelai noticed, looking outside. She made her way closer to the large glass windows, staring outside in wonderment.
Luke crept up behind her, his eyes never leaving her face. "It's beautiful" He said quietly. Lorelai turned and froze when she saw that Luke was looking at her, his face was only centimeters away from her own. Lorelai's fourth finger on her left hand reminded her that she could not be doing this, but the look that Luke was giving her was far to intense for her to look away. Instead, fighting himself with everything that he had in him, he redirected his lips and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. "Thank you, for everything you've done for me..." He said softly.
Lorelai blushed. "Stop thanking me...i'm happy to help." She said turning her face to the snow again. He watched her in amazement, trying to block out the part of his mind that was reminding him that she wasn't his to be amazed by anymore. She was gone. She was with Chris. And it was all his fault. But at that moment all he could think about was her.
"Merry Christmas Luke." She said, leaning back into him slightly.
"Merry Christmas Lorelai." He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her slightly before he turned and walked away, going back to see his daughter.
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yay! end of chapter 8 I hope you liked it and please please pleas eplease review if you read it, i really like to know where you guys are, it really helps me...and i no how im getting them together, have no fear..its a comin... thank you!
ooh and song titles anyone? for some reason i find a lot of country songs encompassing their relationship if that helps at all...I don't know why that is..hmm...
pleasereviewmenow : )
-javajunkieness-