a/n- thanks for all of the reviews, you guys rock...this one is for you!all of you... i know its been a while so i decided to make it good...enjoy...

ps- how'd u guys like the episode? I actually wasn't in too much pain while watching it this week...some parts were a little drawn out like the party scene, omg i almost died it was so boring, they probably should have cut that one..I was happy when Lorelai said that if she had thought about it (getting married) she wouldn't have done it..and i loved the whole lorelai going to the hospital thing, who else is for LL talking again? I am! and when luke saw the ring...aw..so sad.. Im just happy that somethings happening becasue for the last couple of episodes nothing has been happening at all...and the spoilers make me happy! jealous christopher? yes! he should be jealous! ok end rant.

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Chapter 9:She's everything To me (Brad Paisley)

A couple of days later Lorelai was on her way home from work. After sitting through an extra hour of holiday traffic she was happy to be closer to Chris' apartment. She was tired of sitting in her car alone, with no one but her radio to talk to. When she was alone, it meant she was thinking, and thinking was not something she was comfortable doing lately. She raised the volume on the radio to try to block out the thoughts in her head, but all she could see was Luke's face, all she could feel were his arms around her and his soft lips touching her cheek. She moved her hand up and touched her cheek with her fingertips, and her stomach churned. Chris, she reminded herself. The sooner she got to the apartment, the sooner she could stop thinking about Luke.

She felt extremely guilty for leaving Chris, Gigi and Rory in the middle of the night on Christmas, but in her head she did not see any other options. All she knew is that she had needed to see him right then, that he had gone to her for help and she would stop at nothing to make sure he was okay. But all of the feelings she had built up inside over the past half a year started to come back out when she had spent so much time with Luke, and this was not the Luke that she had bumped into in the supermarket when she had gone to buy ice cream, or the one that had brushed her off in the middle of the street, or even the one that she had played cards with recently. There was no holding back, no facade s, no pretending to be strong, it was just Luke. It was then that Lorelai realized that Just Luke needed her, Just her, and she admitted to herself that she needed him too.

Lorelai didn't know that it was possible to love somebody when you didn't want to love them.She didn't know you knould need somebody so badly when you tried so hard not to need them. But then again Lorelai had never been in love. Not before Luke.

She felt the tears rise in her eyes as she turned down a familiar street. It hurt her that after everything her and Luke had gone through, with how badly she needed him, that it would never happen. Too much had been done and even if Luke suddenly admitted how much he needed and wanted her in his life, she was sure that he would never be able to forgive her or trust her ever again. And then there was Christopher. She was married. To Christopher. She repeated the mantra over and over in her head, but it still sounded false to her. As much as he cared, and as much as he tried, Christopher would never be Luke. She could never feel for Christopher what she did for Luke. Lorelai used her time as she rode the elevator to the correct floor to question wheter she was ever meant to be happy. Lorelai had many, many failed relationships in her life. Most of them were her fault. But she could deal with that, if that was where it had ended for her she could probably deal with it. But it was the smallest reminders, Luke's smell, or his arms wrapped around her, that reminded her of what she had. This time it was different, this time she had been happy, and she had loved him with everything that she had. And she had lost. She was back to square one, also known as christopher, and she didn't know if she could handle it anymore.

"Hey." She said walking in, Christopher was watching television and looked up when he heard the door open.

"Hi" Chris said lightly, motioning with his hand for her to go to him. She did it although she felt awkward as she crossed the room and lowered herself to kiss him, he eagerly tilted his head up to give her easier access to his lips, but so much guilt had built up inside of her that she did not know if she could do it convincingly.

"Mmwah" She exaggerated the kissing noice as her lips breifly came in contact with his cheek and she sat down next to him.

"Hard day?" He asked noticing that she looked down.

"Yeah, it was so busy today. And it's so different from the dragonfly." She stated staring at the tv to avoid his glance.

"Different how?" Chris asked.

"Well when the dragonfly would be busy, I had friends there, a support system of people who cared about me so when things got hard they could take some slack. Plus Michel was there so I would send all of the annoying customers to him. Now, I'm the Michel, and not only to I work out of my mind but when I need people to fall back on no one's there. Its not...It's not what I want to do." Lorelai explained.

"Yeah but then why are you in the Inn managing business if you don't like it?" Chris asked her, his eyes darting back and forth with the football players on the screen.

"I guess it's not the Dragonfly, you know? I didn't build it, for all I know it was dropped from a UFO, the Dragonfly I made, it's a part of me. It gives me something to be proud of, and say, I did that. you know?" She asked him seriously.

"What you call that a foul!" Chris yelled angrily at the umpire with a throw of his hand. Lorelai was shocked initially by his yelling but when it subsided she got off of the couch and went to find something to eat.

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The next weekend Lorelai was sitting in Luke's Diner seriously studying an important piece of paper at the counter.

"Hey-" Luke said happily as he came through the curtain.

"Hey.." She responded. "Coffee?" She stuck out her lip a little before he could say no, he rolled his eyes and walked over to the coffee machine.

" I didn't know you were stopping by today" He said as he poured her a cup.

"Yeah well I'm not staying long but I had some stuff to do at the Inn" She said gratefully accepting it. "So how's April doing?" She asked him changing the subject.

"She's doing a lot better. She's at home now and she's adjusting to everything. She has a cast on her arm and is all excited about it." He said, his face lighting up. "I uh- got you something actually..." He said a little shyly

"What? Why?" She said seriously surprised.

"Christmas..." He said in a 'duh' voice. "Plus as a sort of thank you..." He smiled when he remembered them having a similar conversation not too long ago, when Lorelai bought him the hat. She smiled too.

"Ooh where is it?" She asked him.

"Hold on." He disappeared from behind the curtain again and when he came back he held out a small gift bag. He face was flushed with adoration for the man in front of her as she received it, clapping her hands. She shook the bag to her ear.

"How old are you?" He asked her jokingly.

"Two" she said proudly before she lowered the bag to her lap. She opened the bag and pulled out a flat, square shaped velvet box. She opened up the box slowly, and gasped. It was a bracelet. It had a delicate silver chain and dangling from the end was a small silver heart, encrusted with tiny diamonds. "Luke..." She said in amazement looking up at him. He smiled. "It's- beautiful. You shouldn't have- I can't-" She stuttered.

"Take it, it's a present you take it." He said still smiling from his reaction.

"Now i feel so stupid." She said throwing her hand in emphasis.

"What? Why?" He asked confused.

"Remember when you helped me when my dad was in the hospital, all i got you was that stupid hat that you don't even wear anymore and then you go and get me this-this- gorgeous bracelet i want to be wearing in my coffin and every day until i get there and-"

"It wasn't a stupid hat- I wore it every day for five years after that- plus you desearve it..."He told her and watched her face soften.

"Yeah but you don't wear it anymore." She said sadly. Her fingers fumbling with the clasp on the bracelet, finding it hard to do since she only had one hand.

"You don't have to put it on now-" Luke started

"I want to." She said and he bent over the counter to help her with it, he took one side and she took the other and after recovering from a slight tremble in her hand at the proximity of their faces she managed to get it clipped on. "Thanks. We make a good team you and me." She stated lightly, but the words falling heavily as if bowling ball had been dropped in a silent room. She she cleared her throat quietly to break the tension. He looked up at her then.

"I uh- I could start wearing it again- it was a good hat." He stumbled over his own words.

"It was a good hat" she agreed. "And you should...It looked good on you" She said smiling slightly.

"good." He said before he stood up again. "So whats that?" He asked motioning to the paper in front of her with a slight tilt of his head. She sipped her coffee before she answered.

"Work stuff" She told him. "I um, I think I'm quitting my job in Boston" She told him

"What?" He asked confused.

"I'm not happy there." She stated matter-of-factly. "With- work...I mean."She quickly corrected.

"Yeah- " He said understanding. "It's not the same huh-"

"Not at all. I just, I can't do it anymore." She told him.

"So what are you going to do?" He asked her.

"I think I have to quit. It has been so stressfull with both jobs. Plus- it gives me more time to concentrate on the dragonfly." She said.

"Yeah- but you'd have to commute two hours every time you wanted to go back and forth." He said and she saw something flash through his eyes, but she couldn't quite place it.

"I know." She said exasperated. "I really don't know what I'm going to do. I mean, I guess we could always just come back here..." She thought out loud. "But I don't know how I'm going to get Chris to buy that." She said frustrated. Luke inwardly rolled his eyes. He would never understand Christopher ever, or how Lorelai could like him so much.

"I think I speak for all of Stars Hollow when I say that we would be happy to have you back." He said lightly with a serious undertone. Lorelai exhaled heavily, the day was getting to her.

"Hey, speaking of hats, where is yours?" Lorelai asked noticing that he was hatless. Her eyes scanned down his body to note that he was dressed really nicely, and not even in the clothes that she had bought for him. Her mouth dropped open mock dramatically. "Lucas, look at you!" She admired. "what are you all dressed up for?" She asked cluelessly, before the possibilities dawned on her and her face dropped. "Oh-" She said sadly in realization, not knowing why her heart was so heavy. It's not like they were even dating anymore, or even had the option of dating, so why did it hurt so much? The feeling in her chest only served to remind her some of what Luke must have been feeling this whole time, and she hated herself for bringing up chris so casually in their conversation. Her face sunk even more and she found her cup of coffee extremely interesting.

"No- I uh have a meeting, with my lawer." Luke said, a smirk spreading across his face as he said it. Lorelai ignored the look.

"Really?" Lorelai asked him.

"Really." He said, still smirking. "I am..."He continued but dropped his voice significantly and leaned over the counter. "I'm thinking of trying for partial custody of April." He told her seriously.

"Really?" She repeated herself.

"Yeah. I just, After the accident it really got me thinking about the place I hold in her life... I don't know. It's stupid I guess, I just- if anything ever happened to Anna, I should legally be April's father right?" He shrugged.

"It's not stupid, you want equal rights as her parent." She stated. "As you should, you're her father." She said, genuinly trying to make it sound like talking about April and Anna wasn't weird for her. "did you talk to Anna about this?" She asked him

"I'm sorry is this weird for you?" Luke asked. Lorelai started to lie but then quickly stopped herself.

"A little, yeah." She understated, and Luke noticed the tone in her voice. He didn't say anything so Lorelai decided to break the silence by rambling. "I mean, after everything that happened with-us, and things were really good and- then April and, two months you know, and then stuff started to get bad- so yeah talking like this, this-" She stopped rambling when she saw his face freeze. "- is, wierd." She concluded. "are you okay?" She asked him.

"I should get going" Luke said uncomfortably, grabbing his coat.

"Luke..I didn't mean to-" Lorelai gave up. She had broken the secret code that they had that in order to be friends they couldn't talk about what happened, or how things used to be, or reference at all to the fact that they had dated let alone talk about reasons for their split. She chastised herself inwardly.

"Have a safe trip back to Boston." He told her lighlty before he left out the door, the bells jingling with it's close. She let out a breath that she didn't even know she was holding in. Smooth, exLax. She thought to herself sarcastically.

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A couple of hours later Lorelai was sitting on her couch 'watching' tv. She couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. Why had she done that? Why had she told the truth? it would have been soo easy to lie. "Is this wierd for you?" The overly masculine mock luke voice said to her in her head. "No not at all" The Lorelai in her head who interestingly enough had a country twang responded to him. See, easy! Everything had been going so great with them, but she had to go blabbering away and now they were back at the beginning. Well, not exactly the beginning but they had definately taken a step in the backwards direction. Lorelai put her hand to her head and when she did she felt a cool metal chain slide down her arm. When Lorelai remembered the bracelet she smiled. She took the heart in her figertips and stroked it with her thumb. She didn't know why but right then at that moment she needed to talk to him, needed to make sure they were okay. She looked at the clock, it had been three hours since Luke left from the diner, he had to be back by now. Besides, it wasn't as if she hadn't seen the friends episode that was currently on her television screen a hundred billion times to the point she could recite it line for line. Lorelai grabbed her coat and started on her way to Lukes.

When she got there she noticed that there were a few lights inside but the sign was switched to 'closed'. She knocked a few times but when she got no response she reached for the handle and turned. Unlocked. She entered and immediatly was surprised to hear a radio playing from the back room. "Luke?" She asked. He came out of the storage room with a broom in his hand, his face giving away how suprised he was to see her.

"Hey- I didn't hear you come in" He said cautiously.

"I can not believe that you yell at me all the time for leaving my door unlocked and here you are, closed, doing the same thing." She laughed. "Do you know the risks of that Luke? Hm? Do you know what could have been stolen? All of your precious days earnnigs, the coffee all gone to waste!" She said dramatically, trying to break the tension from the start. He chuckled as he rested the broom against the wall and walked into the room.

"Yeah, the only coffee theives I know of are...you. Yeah thats it" He said pretending to give it some thought.

"Well I wouldn't want the competition" She said smiling as she made her way behind the counter and grabbed a mug. "Hey, nice hat.." She said when she noticed he was wearing the hat she had bought him again.

"Thanks-What are you doing?" Luke asked reluctantly.

"Stealing the coffee?" Lorelai replied. "I thought I made that clear" She mused as she poured herself a cup and sat down at the counter.

"Crazy" he commented, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, crazy, but at the same time unbelieveably gorgeous, what are the odds?" She asked laughing, but then her face got serious when she saw his unwavering stare that was not telling her otherwise. "Luke-" She stated.

"Yeah?" He asked, sitting down next to her at the counter.

"I'm sorry" She said, knowing that it could encompass a huge list of things but hoping that he understood she was referring to how they left things before.

"You don't have to be.." Luke said stopping her. "I was just uncomfortable, I shouldn't have even brought it up."

"But I am sorry! I broke the code!" She said seriously disturbed with herself.

"The-?" Luke searched his brain for what she could possible by talking about. She gave him a knowing look. "There was never a-"

"Don't say it, Don't you dare say it!" She pointed her finger at him in conviction, as though if he said it a fairy would die.

"We should be able to talk about things." Luke said seriously. "Would you quit pointing your finger at me?" He asked. Lorelai laughed but did not stop, raising her finger to his face before she stuck her tongue out and started to giggle. Luke playfully grabbed her hand and tried to turn it around so she would be pointing at herself, but she struggled to keep it the right way. She finally laughed which released all of her strength.

"Agh you win" She said pretending to be bitter about it.He chuckled but did not let go of her hand, holding it lightly and she turned her hand around so that she could lace her fingers in his and she held it there. The two sat there in silence for a while until a familiar song came on the radio.

She's a yellow pair of running shoes A holey pair of jeans She looks great in cheap sunglasses She looks great in anything She's, "I want a piece of chocolate" "Take me to a movie" She's "I can't find a thing to wear" Now and then she's moody

Lorelai's face lit up. "I love this song! I mean I'm not a huge huge fan of the country music, but oh my god! I can make an acception for Brad." She chuckled and he smiled at how excited she got over a song. She saw something in his eyes and smiled back, unable to look away. Luke couldn't help but think about how much Lorelai reminded him of this girl in the song.

She's a Saturn with a sunroof With her brown hair a-blowing She's a soft place to land And a good feeling knowing She's a warm conversation That I wouldn't miss for nothing She's a fighter when she's mad And she's a lover when she's loving

"Hey- Luke?" Lorelai asked shyly.

"Yeah?"

"Would you..I mean...Do you wanna..Wanna dance?" She asked him with the innocence and fear of a fourteen year old.

"i- um..." He started to oppose, but then he saw her face".Sure.." He said, what the hell? She stood up from her stool and reached her hand out to Luke who took it following her to the spot she wanted to dance in. He fell into rythem, placing one hand on her back and the other in his own, knowing completely well that the object on her finger that was at the moment digging into his hand meant that he shouldn't be doing this, but the way that she had asked him, and the fact that it was Lorelai Gilmore asking him, caused him to go against his better judgement and dance with her anyway. Lorelai had her hand on his shoulder and melted into him as he swayed.

And she's everything I ever wanted, And everything I need- I talk about her, I go on and on and on. 'Cause she's everything to me...

Lorelai moved in closer and closer into Luke throughout the song until they were practically one person, their bodies fitting together perfectly.

"Lorelai..." Luke said softly, they were definitely now breaking whatever 'code' she had mentioned before and he did not want her to be angry at him for doing so later.

"Shh..." She silenced him, resting her cheek on his.

She's a Saturday out on the town And a church girl on Sunday She's a cross around her neck And a cuss word 'cause it's Monday She's a bubble bath and candles Baby come and kiss me She's a one glass of wine And she's feeling kinda tipsy She's the giver I wish I could be And the stealer of the covers She's a picture in my wallet Of my unborn children's mother She's the hand that I'm holding When I'm on my knees and praying She's the answer to my prayer And she's the song that I'm playing

She could feel luke's heart beating through her own, and she knew that hers was probably beating just as fast. She knew she shouldn't be doing this or feeling this way, but she had no choice, she couldn't move, couldn't will herself to leave his embrace. She felt his arms tighten around her and she closed her eyes, inhailing his sent.

And she's everything I ever wanted And everything I need I talk about her, I go on and on and on 'Cause she's everything to me

She's the voice I love to hear Someday when I'm ninety She's that wooden rocking chair I want rocking right beside me Every day that passes I only love her more Yeah, she's the one That I'd lay down my own life for And she's everything I ever wanted And everything I need She's everything to me Yeah, she's everything to me Everything I ever wanted And everything I need She's everything to me

As the sound of the guitar solo filled the air, Lorelai felt herself open her eyes and look into those of the man she was holding. His eyes were so deep and so blue, she felt like she could get lost in them forever. So she did, and she felt her face moving towards his until her forhead was rested against his own, and they had officially stopped moving. She felt her hand move up to his cheek, her thumb stroking his light stubble, the rise and fall of his chest, his breath on her face.She inhaled sharply, gasping slightly at how close they were. She closed the space between them, her mouth almost drawn to his, kissing his lips softly but sweet before separating. She closed her eyes and felt his lips come in contact with her own again in a powerful, deep kiss, full of meaning and want on both sides. She wrapped her arms around his neck and she felt his grip tighten on her waist. The third kiss was initiated by both, unable to stop themselves, his hand was tangled in her hair and this one was hungry and passionate, getting deeper with every second that passed by.

Chris.

Lorelai broke the kiss abruptly when it was at its peak, and she covered her mouth with her hand. "Lorelai..." Luke said afraid. When she looked up her face was broken, the tears spilling over her eyes. She sniffled back. How could this be happening? Now? What had she done? She was now crying uncontrollably, but still having the ability to stand.

"I'm sorry-" She made out. "I can't do this- I just can't..." She said. "God, not now.."

"I'm sorry-" Luke said reaching out to hold her up. "I shouldn't have-"

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault." She said still crying. He pulled her to him, hugging her hard to try to comfort her. She melted into his embrace but knew she could not stay there forever. "I should probably go." She said wiping off her face as she separated from him.

He nodded his agreement and didn't even get to say goodbye before the door shut behind her, the bells jingling overhead.

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a/n- i hope you liked it! please please please please please review! okay thanks.

ps- omg its a great amazing over the top unbelievable song. phew. Okay so i actually don't really like country music all that much, i mean ill listen to it but im more of a rocknroll person myself, but oh. my. god. you should hear the guitar solos in this song, brad paisley, She's everything. so cute, plus he wrote it for his wife who's pregnent with his kid right now...uber cute..and i never use the word uber so you have to trust me. check it out...I love it!

okreviewnow. thanks.

-javajunkieness-