a/n...okay so you officially all have reason to kill me. just dont. okay thanks. I know its been like what..two weeks? and i don't have really a reasonable excuse but that life got in the way and i wasn't feeling particularly creative. but show some love and review this chapter. thanks a lot. I promise a much much much faster update. and i loved the last episode. Lorelai plus luke plus baby equals soooo adorable. plus the latest spoilers are killing me cuz i can't wait, they all sound so good! okay so basically i have beeen working on this chapter for a while now, and i couldn't ever really seem to make it work, and i thought you guys deserved more so i spent a lot of time thinking about how i want to continue this fic, and i think i found it. This chapter kind of sets up the next few. hope you all enjoy the LL interaction. review please it means a lot : )

ps. I'm happy u guys liked my creation of the word Loristopher. I found it rather amusing myself. Im thinking of having it copywrited. jk. well if trump can get a patent on the phrase 'your fired' who knows, right? Yeah and thats my new philosophy on life..if trump can do it...that was sarcasm aimed at my own randomness if you missed it..i think its hard to pick up on stuff like that when its in writing. okay read now.

Chapter 11: How To Save A Life

(the Fray)

"Luke" Lorelai said half in shock half in amusement with how startled he seemed when she opened the door.

"going somewhere?" he asked curiously noticing her attire.

"To see you actually" She told him truthfully. Her heart physically ached with the intesity with which she wanted to embrace the man before her and never let him go.

"Nice pants." He commented playfully. She somehow managed to look gorgeous wearing bright yellow pajama pants with spongebob's face plastered all over them. He quickly shook the thought and focused on why he was there.

"thanks. Want to come in?" She asked him quickly before stepping aside to let him enter. "ooh food?" Lorelai asked shutting the door behind him.

"Yeah... I heard" he said akwardly. She nodded her embarrased understanding. "I thought you might be hungry." Silence filled the room and Luke shifted uncomfortably. "and you know..that you could talk to me about it...if you want."

"Thanks." Lorelai said simply to him as she reached out and took the brown bag he was holding and carried it to the kitchen, he followed closely behind.

"So how are you?" Luke asked once they were both seated.

"me? um I'm okay" Lorelai said to him, because admitting that she was not would open a whole new can of words.

"You sure?" Luke asked her. Lorelai couldn't stand it anymore. She couldn't stand pretending like nothing happened, like they were just two friends with no history that hadn't seen eachother in a while. She was sick of pretending.

"No...?" Lorelai admitted out loud. Lukes face quickly filled with concern and he looked at her inquisitively. "I just-" Tears sprang to her eyes as she began to talk. "I just don't want to do this anymore." She told him, her throat closing as she spoke.

"Do what?" Luke asked.

"God..I mean I tried right? I tried to do it...I really did. I did everything i could possibly do, and yet it just doesn't work. Nothing will ever works- and I can't even pretend like it does anymore because its just killing me, i mean its killing me, and i cant- i just can't-" She rambled before luke cut her off.

"Wait, Lorelai...calm down..what are you talking about?" He asked rubbing her arm softly.

"I just can't do it...and I feel so stupid and broken that I can't even..I tried so hard..." She trailed off, looking him in his eyes.

"tried to do what?" luke asked her staring back just as intently. He looked at her hard, trying to look deeply through her eyes to see what she was feeling, thinking.

"This" She motioned between them. "I cant...move on...from this" She said slowly wiping at her eyes. Luke couldn't speak. What could he say? He swallowed back his fear.

"Lorelai..." He said her name in that smooth, comforting, adoring way that kind of just rolled off his tongue.

"I just- I have missed you so much" She cried.

"Me too." Luke assured her.

"why is it so hard?" She asked him truthfully. "Just...the other day..when we..when I..when-" She stumbled over her words, but saw that he got what she was referring to. "I have wanted that for so long...i just realized that I wasn't being fair...I had to tell him...It was like this whirlpool I was being sucked into, the longer I stayed in it the harder it was to get out...I couldn't keep pretending that I was happy..." She explained to him.

"I know." He told her comfortingly.

"And its not like I'm expecting anything..god..I'm not..but I wasn't being fair. I had to end it." Lorelai told him."It wasn't fair that I married him, and was starting this whole life with him when-"

"When what?" Luke asked interrupting her.

"when I still...When I never stopped.." Lorelai stopped and took a deep breath. "It wasn't what I wanted. Well, it was..I just never wanted it with him." She said hoping he would understand.

"oh" Was all Luke could manage.

"I...Love..you luke." She told him honestly. "I can't stop that. I've tried, trust me, I have tried. I just- I know you must..after everything...but I can't stop it. And it hurts so much..because I know that it won't happen now, that i'll never have it..any of it..because no matter how hard I try, the only one I want it with is you." Lukes face overcame with relief and he smiled slightly unable to control his words.

"I love you too." Luke said quickly.

"Even after-?" Lorelai started.

"Even after." Luke interrupted. Lorelais face lightened and she smiled embarrased as she looked downwards at her hands.

"So what now?" Lorelai asked as she took a bite of her burger.

"I don't know." Luke said. "I do know that I don't want to hurt you again. I don't want to end up like that ever again. But I love you so much... ." He assured her the importance she held in his life despite everything that had happened..

"Me too." Lorelai said.

"These last few months have been-" He started.

"Hell in a handbasket?" Lorelai offered.

"Worse. and I just don't want to do that anymore. ever." He said, she smiled shyly.

"me neither." She stated.

"So maybe we could try the whole..talking..thing."Luke suggested with a smile.

"Talkings good." She agreed.

"good." Luke said. "How's your burger?"

"perfect." Lorelai told him with a small smile.

"it is, isn't it." He said reaching for her hand. Lorelai pulled him into a tight hug, squeezing him with everything she had before she melted into his arms. She began to lightly cry for the millionth time that night, but this time it was different, it was happy.

"I was so scared." She said into his shoulder.

"me too." He admitted into her hair. She slowly released him before he crept forward and tentatively planted a soft kiss on her lips. She leaned forward and kissed him back and little harder before they both pulled away.

"I should go." Luke said quietly.

"yeah..its late.." She said lamely but still couldn't get the warm feeling in her heart to go away.

"So I'll call you tomorrow?" He asked.

"yeah, that sounds good."

"And we'll talk?"

"we'll talk."

"good" Lorelai told him. Luke turned around one more time before reaching the door.

"I know we have a lot to work on, and to talk about. I also know that you probably need some time, everything happened so recently. But- I just wanted you to know that I'm here. Im not going anywhere. 100 percent."

"thanks Luke. But I- I don't need time. Ive had time. 7 months of time. I had time up to gazoo. I don't want time. I just want you." Lorelai told him honestly.

"See ya Lorelai." Luke said smiling before he closed the door behind him.

She couldn't quite get the small smile forming on her lips off of her face. So they weren't exactly dating again, they weren't exactly in that place. She wouldn't be spending the night wrapped in his arms, his ring on her finger, but they were starting somewhere. They were taking it slowly but at least they were taking it. There was hope after all. Hope that she could be happy, hope she could be with the man that she loved, hope she could have it, the whole package. The whole package with Luke.

"Boom! hit me with you're best shot!" Lorelai sang quietly yet enthusiastically as she made her way into the kitchen of the dragonfly. "Hit me with you're best shot...Lalala Hit me with you're best Shot! Fi-re a wayeyayy. bum bum bum-" She dramatized but cut herself off when she saw sookie staring back at her shocked. "Hi" She said happily acting like nothing strange had happened.

"Hi" Sookie laughed. "Did you..take the wrong perscription this morning?" She asked "because that happens."

"um nope. pretty sure I didn't" Lorelai said pretending to be confused.

"So whats with the happy?" Sookie sked her friend suspiciously.

"the happy?" Lorelai laughed avoiding the subject.

"come on what happened?" sookie urged. It had been so long since she had seen Lorelai like this that she forgot this part of her friend even existed.

"i'm not sure I know what your talking about." Lorelai said still avoiding the topic but not having the ability to stop smiling. It would be way too big of a deal to sookie, and Lorelai knew they had to figure everything out for themselves before the town figured them out.

"you do too!" She accused. "The other day you were all sad and depressed" She continued, Lorelai pretended to be offended, her mouth dropping. "sorry but you were. and you're going through a divorce" Lorelai stuck out her lip, was she trying to put a downer on her mood? "and now you're all happy 'bum bum bum'" She imitated lorelai's dramatized singing from before.

"how dare you accuse me of bum bum bum'ing!" She said back in the same manner.

"you just did it. come on what's up." Sookie urged, clearly not willing to drop the subject.

"i'm not sure." Lorelai said taking the safest route.

"what does that mean?" Sookie asked seriously.

"it's kind of complicated." Lorelai told her hoping that she would stop pressing.

"it's luke, is it luke?" Sookie asked happily and excited.

"I can't really say" Lorelai said, her face immediatly blushing.

"its luke!" Sookie sing-songed.

"sookie!"

"I knew it."

"sook listen I need you not to press this. And not to tell anyone what you think I think you know."

"i wont" Sookie said holding up her girl scout honor fiingers.

"not even jackson" She warned.

"i wont!" Sookie promised, her excitement bubbling through her.

"Because really there's nothing to tell." She said downplaying it.

"right 'nothing'." sookie said emphasizing 'nothing' enough to let Lorelai know that she knew there was something to tell but would hide it.

"no really, I mean there isn't really anything. we're kind of just talking." She explained, hoping that maybe telling sookie more of the truth would prevent her from making her own assumtions and starting rumors with them.

"oh yeah, 'talking' " sookie emphasized in the same way.

"sookie!"

"right, no,I gotchya" Sookie said laughing.

"really sookie." she pleaded.

"really." sookie said playfully.

"okay." Lorelai finally said timidly, still not believing that sookie really got her but wanting to end their conversation before it went any further. "well I should go check on the-" she didn't bother finishing her sentence before she turned and went back into the lobby, sookie couldn't help but notice a certain bounce that had returned to her step.

It was that night and Lorelai was laying in bed silently frustrated with how she had spent her day. She had wandered through her normal schedule happily, humming and swaying through her day at work awaiting the much anticipated phone call she had been promised. It never came. She turned in bed unable to go to sleep. He said he would call, right? He had said it. Maybe he changed his mind, she wondered and she felt her heart drop. That couldn't have been it, the sincerity in his voice had told her everything. Lorelai shut her eyes and was about to drift off into sleep when she was awoken by a loud buzzing on the table next to her bed. She was immediately nervous and she felt her throat constrict as she reached for her phone. Luke.

"Hello" Lorelai answered cautiously, not letting any of her emotion be shown.

"Hi." Luke answered.

"..."

"I couldn't sleep" He said tiredly but profoundly.

"You didn't call" She stated.

"I'm sorry." He said simply, not wanting to explain. "I wanted to, I just-"

"yeah." She said finding comfort in his voice. She layed back down in bed, her eyes shutting as she hit the pillow.

"So how are you?" He asked her.

"i'm good now" Lorelai said telling the truth.

"Good. Me too." Luke said.

"So I have a question." Lorelai asked him sincerely with a bit of a playful tone.

"Hit me." He said. Lorelai inwardly laughed remembering the song that was stuck in her head for most of the day.

"How is this gonna work?"

"You tell me." Luke answered her.

"I wanna get back to a place where I know you can trust me, that might take a while but-"

"I trust you" Luke cut her off.

"But how can you after I-"

"I trust you" He said.

"Okay" She said smiling, thinking that she was falling in love with him all over again. She liked this agressive, openly loving side of him and she forced herself to stop smiling so she could move on. "I also think that we need to talk. About everything that happened. So it doesn't happen again."

"Okay" He stated simply agreeing with her.

"And maybe after we understand what happened, we can fix it."

"well we're talking now" Luke said.

"I miss you Luke." She admitted. "so much."

"Me too."

"Yeah?"

"oh yeah."

"I'm tired." She yawned into the phone.

"Sorry I called you so late." Luke apologized. If he had called earlier they would have had a chance to talk.

"Thanks for calling though" She said.

"So uh, maybe we could talk about everything. For real. Tomorrow?" He asked her.She smiled.

"over lunch?" She asked him.

"sure." He answered. "Hey lorelai, I don't know if this messes with our whole, take it slow, thing..but...I love you" He finished quickly. She smiled again, wider this time.

"I Love you too Luke." She said sweetly. " 'night"

" 'night Lorelai." He said. She went to shut her phone but stopped when she heard quiet breathing on the other end.

"luke?" Lorelai whispered curiously after a few seconds, not wanting to sound crazy though if he wasn't there.

"yeah?" Luke whispered back.

"you still there?"

"mhmm" he mumbled.

"okay." She said quietly, and she closed her eyes and went to sleep to the sound of him breathing. They both slept better that night than either of them had in a little over a year.

a/n- okay thats it, review please: )

oh and if you guys are missing some characters (wanna know what's going on with chris or anything), I can work that in, i just am happy i got rid of him so i tend to stop writing about that stuff not wanting to drag it out really but if you think its unrealistic that all of a sudden its like no chris, ill work on it and mix it in. just let me know.

-javajunkieness-