To Market, To Market
Chapter 2

Professor McGonagall turned away from the dungeons and went up to her office, glad to be out of Slytherin territory and in her own space in Gryffindor Tower where it smelled sweeter and the sunlight was welcomed with open arms. She changed into an old skirt and blouse which she wore when taking a trip to the muggle world. Then, sitting down at her desk Professor McGonagall pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. She remembered her scrumptious dreams of the night before. Starting there she began to make her list.
Bacon
Eggs
Pancake mix
Butter
Maple Syrup
Fresh Strawberries

By the time Snape arrived she was almost finished planning all three meals for the next four days. She opened the door to find him also wearing his one muggle outfit, consisting of a pair of worn jeans and a dark button up shirt. His damp hair hung in strands around his face and he smelled slightly of lilac.

"Oh, good you used the soap I gave you." Lilac was Professor McGonagall's favorite scent and she had decided that if she was going to spend time with Snape there might as well be something about him that she liked, even if it was the soap he had used. She didn't particlularly enjoy his company or his personality, but for a few good meals she was willing to put up with them for a time.

"I've already made a list so let's get going," said Professor McGonagall as she picked up her hat and cloak. Then thinking better of it she put back the cloak.

"What?!" said Snape putting on his grumpy face. "I'm pretty sure I was voted into the position of Food Provider. You, as I remember, are merely a voluntary assistant at my disposal."

Professor McGonagall tapped her foot impatiently. "Don't look so offended, Severus. As a senior staff member I believe I am quite capable of drawing up a menu for us, but of course, since I am here only to 'assist', you may look over my 'suggestions' and have the final decision."

Snape scanned the parchment she held out for him, but didn't argue with any of the items it contained. He did, however, add the words "and blueberries" next to the sixth item listed. Then they were off. It was a silent walk to the edge of the schools grounds where they disapparated. They appeared behind a dumpster next to the store and walked in trying to look incredibly normal. Professor McGonagall's hat didn't help, but she didn't like to go anywhere without her hat.

They started with the vegetables. Peppers of all colors, cabbage, squash, zuchinni, and tomatoes.

"How are we paying for this?" Snape asked, hoping he wasn't expected to feed everyone on his wages.

"The headmaster gave me part of the funds meant for food," Professor McGonagall answered. "Mrs. Putterbit didn't use up much so we don't really have to budget yet. I think I'll get some carrots."

Snape followed her to the carrots, but she shooed him away. "Go start on the fruit. It doesn't take two people to get carrots."

Snape started towards the apples and oranges. He picked up a couple apples and started tossing them in the air to test their juggability.

"Severus, stop that," scolded Proffessor McGonagall as if she were talking to a child. "You are not a circus clown."

Snape was about to scowl at her for using that tone on him, but something caught his eye.

Exotic Fruit.

In the middle of the fruits and vegetables section there stood a cart and a potted tree with a big sign that said "Exotic Fruit." Unable to help himself, Snape went to look at what kind of foreign fruit he could buy. Asian Pears, mangoes, star fruits, papayas, oh the choices! Proffesor McGonagall had by this time noticed the display also and was putting kiwis into a plastic bag.

"I love kiwis," she told Snape. They walked around to the other side of the cart.

"Which type of coconut should we get?" asked Snape.

"You want a coconut?"

"Yes. I think we should get two, actually. And a pineapple."

"Two pineapples and some plantains."

"I've always wanted to try a star fruit. When you slice them up the pieces are shaped like a star." Snape read the label next to the fruit. "Slightly acidic in taste, ripe when yellow." He put some star fruits in a bag.

"What's the difference between a water coconut and a regular coconut?" asked McGonagall.

"Let's get one of each and find out."

They spent too much time at the exotic fruit cart and when they finally tore themselves away from it they had bagged much too much fruit.

"No more distractions," the Proffesors vowed.

"What's this?" asked Snape pointing at a bag of biscuits.

"Cookie of the month," Proffesor McGonagall read on the label. "German chocolate chip. Oooooh. They look tasty don't they?"

She put two bags in their shopping cart and they moved on. They were halfway down the list when there occured a problem.

"Severus, there's no more room for food in the cart. Go get another."

The problem was soon solved. All went well for five minutes more with Proffesors Snape and McGonagall each pushing their carts down the aisle.

"We need some condiments," said McGonagall looking at the list. Snape began putting mayonaise and relish in his cart. McGonagall stopped him as he reached for the mustard.

"No, not French's. I prefer spicy brown mustard."

"What's wrong with French's?"

"Nothing, but I prefer spicy brown mustard."

"Is French's not good enough for you?" sneered Snape.

"It's nothing of the sort. I just enjoy the taste of spicy brown mustard more than I enjoy French's."

"It's snobby mustard, you know."

"What?"

"Spicy brown mustard, look at it in it's little glass jar. Plastic containers not good enough for it? I tell you, it's uppity. It thinks it's better than the other mustards. And look how little the jar is, as if it's some rare delicacy. You get less product for the same price as you would the other mustards."

"Severus, I don't care what kind of jar it comes in, I like the taste."

"Fine, you can take your snobby spicy brown mustard, but I'm getting French's, simple and yellow. Mustard is supposed to be yellow."

"That's enough condiments I think," said McGonagall pulling Snape and his cart towards another aisle. They checked off some more items on their list before coming to the cereal aisle.

"Cereal, cereal," sang McGonagall.

"Look at all the different kinds!" said Snape in awe.

"Let's see, I think Poppy likes Cheerios, but Flitwik only eats cereals with a lot of sugar, so maybe we should get some Fruit Loops too."

"I've always wanted to try the one with the sailor on the box," said Snape scanning the rows and rows of cereal.

"Oh, yes, Captain Crunch," said McGonagall as she added a box of it to her cart. "I suppose we can indulge you. But for the rest of us I think we should get some more adult cereals, like some Great Grains and Kellog's Special K." More boxes were tossed into the carts.

"What's next on the list?" asked Snape as they continued down the aisle.

"All we need now is some bread and the dairy products."

"Good. I'm getting really hungry."

They turned and started down the next aisle.

"Oh look, Severus, shampoo," cried McGonagall slowing down. "Do you need any? They have some lovely scents."

"Are you implying something?" Snape asked slightly offended.

"No, but your hair is rather long and whatever you're using now doesn't seem to be doing the job. Maybe you should try something advertised to make hair silky and shiny. Here's some Herbal Essences, they're always nice." McGonagall stopped in front of one of the shelves. It was hard to tell because her hair was usually in a bun under her hat, but it was always silky and shiny, she took great care in that. Snape tried to pass her and keep walking but she grabbed his cart before he was out of reach.

"Come on, Severus. It'll be my treat."

"You couldn't just get me a lollipop or something?"

"Suave has some good scents too. What about Passion Flower? No, on second thought that doesn't seem to be you. Here, how about Fresh Mountain Strawberry?"

Snape was starting to scowl.

"No, Minerva. I don't need woman's shampoo, now lets go." Then something caught his eye. Green. Hmm. That looked kind of interesting. He grabbed the bottle and threw it in McGonagall's cart.

"Green Apple! Good choice!" she exclaimed.

They had soon reached the breads. The smell of the bakery caught their noses and they both picked up speed.

"I love bread," said McGonagall. "They completely ruined the food pyramid when they took the grains off the bottom and lessened the serving amount."

"Remember the time Sprout tried that silly no carbohydrates diet?" Snape asked as he picked out some baguettes.

"Oh, yes. That didn't work out very well did it?"

"I didn't know you could go through bread withdrawal. She was hallucinating for at least two days."

"How about some pumpernickel?"

"That's fine for toast, but not too good for sandwiches."

"Well, we'll get some oatmeal and wheat bread also."

They wandered though the pastry section each trying to covertly add sticky buns and danishes to their carts.

"Are you sure we need one of those, Minerva?" asked Snape when he caught her trying to hide a cake under a bag of carrots. Sheepishly she put it back. At last they were done. They made their way to the check out counters.

"Here's some of the money Albus gave me," said McGonagall as she took some bills out of her purse. "You get in that line and I'll get in that one down there. This way we'll be done faster and we can go make dinner."

Snape pushed his cart into the line McGonagall had pointed him to and began unloading his cart. He discreetly placed the cake he had hidden under the zuccinni out of McGonagall's view. He planned on smuggling that cake into the dungeons and not sharing with anyone else. The cashier raised her eyebrows at the amount of food Snape was taking out of his cart, but just popped her gum and rang up all the items without commenting.

It took a while, but they finally both made it past the check-out.

";Oh, look!" cried Snape spotting the prize machines. "Let's see if they have sticky wickies."

"Sticky wickies?" asked McGonagall dubiously. The words sounded strange coming out of Snape's mouth.

"Drat! They don't have a Sticky Wicky machine," said Snape scanning the offered prizes. "But those stickers are pretty attractive."

Professor McGonagall looked at the stickers. They were colorful and shiny and they all depicted cute, fuzzy animals.

"Aww, look at the bunny," said McGonagall.

Snape narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm not talking about those stickers. Look at these ones."

McGonagall glanced over to where Snape was pointing. There was indeed another sticker machine, but they weren't as interesting. Just dragon stickers.

"Well, I want a bunny," said the Transfiguration teacher pulling out her change purse. Snape reached into his pocket and they both inserted some coins. Out popped a dragon and a puppy. Puppies are good, but bunnies are better. Both professors decided to try again. Seven stickers later McGonagall had finally gotten her bunny and Snape had run out of change. Yet it seemed a shame to stop there. There were only a couple stickers they hadn't gotten out of each machine and they had soon realized that the sticker machines worked in cycles. Every sticker popped out once in a specific order and then the series started again. Handing Snape some more coins McGonagall kept turning out the stickers until the puppy came back out and she had a complete set of cute, fuzzy animal stickers.

Finally the professors decided that it was time to push their carts to a discreet distance away from the store and shrink their food to pocket size.

"I'm running out of pockets, Minerva. Do you think you could shrink the bags any smaller?"

"You don't suppose we bought too much food do you?"

"Of course not. There's a lot of staff to feed."

"Here's the last of them. Just take two bags in each hand."

There was a cracking as they both apparated to the gate outside of Hogwarts. They strolled up the grounds and made their way to the kitchen where they set to work resizing and reorganizing all the food.

"Alright, Severus, let's make some lasagna!"