Chances in Life
XO'MagickMoon'OX
.Chapter V. Love and Lust
-insert amusing name here- I'm so happy that you've heard of the bands I'm using, and that you know their music! Of course, the song I'm using by Yellowcard is from the Ocean Avenue album, but with Mae, the song(s) are from Everglow. And, with The Starting Line, the songs are from Based On A True Story.
Novelist ... I have no idea what Riku's last name means, nor Sora's. I just Googled Japanese surnames and picked the ones I liked best ... -sheepish laughter- ... and yeah ... but, ack, I hope you feel better soon! Mayhap this chapter shall bring you a little more relief.
And I can't believe that Slashapalooza is reviewing my story! Her stories are some of THE best Kingdom Hearts stories on FFN. Everyone must go read them, RIGHT NOW! I command yoouuuuu! Hehe, well ... anyway.
Here's the next chapter, kinda long (gomen), but enjoy!
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/Sora's POV/
More had happened in the last twenty minutes than I felt fit to handle. First of all, I'd failed my History test, but that wasn't really what had me so shaken up.
But then …!
But then, Riku had appeared at our school and he'd … he'd kissed me! I can't figure him out. And on top of that, he goes around saying things like "I missed you" and "You had me so worried, I wrote a song". I find it hard to believe I've affected him that much. I mean, really … it's not like I'm anything special.
I wonder what the song sounds like …
Okay, anyway … and now … now he's laying with his head in my lap. His head in my lap. He's been acting like we're long-time lovers or something … when we've only known each other for a couple of weeks! And of those couple weeks, we've only spent two days together … not even two days, two halves of days. All right, well, if I know this, then …
… why can't I seem to stop thinking about him?
It's true, I'd missed him too. He'd been on my mind since last I saw him. It can't be healthy to think about someone so much, someone whom you know almost nothing about. Maybe that's why I've been thinking about him. He's a mystery. I just want to know everything about him. His likes, his dislikes, his habits, his beliefs … yeah, I'm hopeless, I know. But, maybe … maybe there is such a thing as "love at first sight"? If not, then what I'm feeling sure is very similar to it.
When next I looked down at him, he seemed to be sleeping. He really was very beautiful. Even though they were closed, I could just picture his eyes, the most amazing color I'd ever seen. I remember, one time when I was younger, taking a trip to a place called Destiny Islands. The water was so breathtakingly gorgeous, so clear and pure, with a color so rich it stuck in my mind from that day on. That's what Riku's eyes were like: the sea. And, I remember going out into the sea one morning and diving headlong into the waves. The current had pulled me under, and I wasn't able to come back up again. I'd almost passed out when my mother had saved me. I had been so scared, so afraid that I'd drown. I feel like that every time I meet Riku's gaze. I feel like I'm going to drown, but …
… I don't think I'm really all that afraid.
I like his hair, too. I've never seen anyone with silver hair … well, at least no one as young as Riku. It suits him, though. It reminds me of the moon. It's like his hair is made from moonlight. It's so pretty … and soft.
"Mmm, that tickles."
"Wha …?" Ack! What was I doing? I was … petting him! In the midst of my musings, I had started unconsciously stroking his head. I could feel heat rising in my cheeks as I froze, going to bring my hand back to my side.
But he reached up and grabbed it, murmuring, "No … don't stop," still apparently half-asleep.
"Huh?" I don't think he knew what he was saying.
"I said … don't stop," he whispered, dozing off again. Maybe he did know what he was saying.
"Uh … okay." I went back to drawing my fingers lazily through his hair.
He laughed softly, his eyes opening half-way, aqua peaking out from beneath thick lashes. "That's my weakness, you know."
"Your … weakness?"
"When people do that, stroke my head like that. I can't help but become completely … defenseless. I don't know why … it just happens. But you're the only one, besides my mother, to figure it out." His eyes slid closed again.
"We're home," Kairi announced suddenly. She turned around in her seat to acknowledge us—a first since we'd gotten in the car—and smiled at us. "Well aren't you two just about the most adorable—"
"Kairi," I cut her off shortly.
"Hey," Riku whined. "Why'd you stop?" He opened his eyes and looked up at me.
"We're home."
"Home?" Riku sat up, blinking tiredly. "But I thought you were going to work."
"We have to change first, silly," Kairi explained. "We can't go to work in our school uniforms."
"Come on, everybody out," Aerith commanded.
Riku slid out of the car, stretching as he stood on my driveway. I got out the other side, slamming the door shut behind me.
As we headed inside, Riku said, "So, do you have a weakness, Sora?" He turned to me with a devilish glint in his eyes. And suddenly, he seemed so different from the guy who had been sleeping in the backseat not more than five minutes ago. He wasn't any worse or any better, just … different. Minutes before, he had been as vulnerable as a baby kitten, and now he was back to being the lion I had first met him as.
"When people do that, stroke my head like that. I can't help but become completely … defenseless. I don't know why … it just happens. But you're the only one, besides my mother, to figure it out."
"Sora?"
"Hmm? Oh, well …"
"Hah, does Sora have a weakness?" Kairi suddenly appeared at my side. "Of course he does. But it's not so much a weakness as it is a turn-on spot."
Riku quirked an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"Yeah." Kairi giggled.
"Kairi!" Oh, she better not—
"If you hit it just right," Kairi began to reach up towards my head, but I batted her hands away, "he just snaps and goes completely crazy, gets all aroused."
I can't believe she just … "Kairi!"
"And where is this spot?" Riku wondered deviously. We stepped through the front door of my house.
"Oh, you'll just have to find out for yourself." Kairi winked.
I was going to kill her.
"Wait a minute," Riku said suddenly. "Shouldn't you be at your house, Kairi? I mean, since you're changing your clothes and all."
Kairi started up the steps. "Oh no, I keep a few spare outfits here."
Riku blinked. "…" He turned to me inquisitively. "She keeps a few spare outfits here?"
I grinned sheepishly. "Yeah. I guess you could say we're just really close friends, almost like siblings. My house is her home-away-from-home, and vice versa."
"Oh."
"Well … uh … I guess you can just wait down—"
"Come on up, Riku!" Kairi called.
I groaned as Aerith stepped inside behind me. "Hurry up, you two! You're going to be late!"
I started up the stairs, and Riku followed, much to my dismay. I felt like letting him into my room was letting him know much more about me on a personal level. I wasn't ready for that. It wasn't fair, since I barely knew anything about him! Well, I knew that he worked at the mall, that he was a senior in high school, that he played bass guitar in a band and wrote most of the songs, that he had an older brother, that his parents were hardly at home, that his "weakness" was people stroking his hair … I guess I knew as much about him as he knew about me. With this thought, I felt a little more at ease bringing him upstairs.
But I was very unprepared to open the door to my room to find Kairi in the middle of changing her shirt. I yelped and shut the door hurriedly, backing up into the hallway. I could hear her giggling inside my room. Did she have any shame at all?
"Kairi!" I shouted. "Lock the door … or something … next time!"
"Hehe, sorry!"
Yeah, right. I turned to Riku, blushing nervously. "S-Sorry about that … Kairi tends to—"
"It's okay," he said. "I didn't see anything." He smiled, and I felt my stomach knot. How he was able to do that with just a smile, I'd never really understand.
"All right, you can come in!" Kairi called.
I gripped the doorknob and turned it, warily peaking inside before stepping all the way into my room, Riku in tow. Kairi was wearing a simple white sweater and blue jeans, smiling cutely.
Kairi motioned for Riku to sit on the chair at my desk, and she plopped down on the edge of my bed, crossing her legs. I opened my drawers and grabbed a pair of jeans and a red T-shirt. I turned and then noticed that I was going to have to change in the bathroom. Just as I'd finished processing this thought, Kairi said, "It's okay Sora, you can change here." I swear she can read minds.
"No, I—"
"Come on, Sora," Kairi insisted. "It's no different than changing for P.E. at school!"
The reason as to why she was being so insistent on this simple matter eluded me, but I decided not to make a big deal out of it and agreed. She began to talk with Riku about inane topics while I pulled off my shirt and began to change out of my suffocating school uniform.
/Riku's POV/
Someone up there must love me. Either that, or Kairi loves me. Or both.
I kept my cool exterior while talking with Kairi, although inside I was a bundle of nerves waiting to explode. If Kairi noticed me sneaking glances at Sora, she didn't say anything, and Sora wouldn't look at me, so I don't think he noticed, either. But Sora … damn, he was hot! His skin looked so smooth, pulled taut over a sound chest, the faint outline of a toned abdomen visible across his stomach, his boxer shorts falling low on his hips. It took ever ounce of self-control I contained within myself to keep from pouncing on him right then a there and screwing him senseless.
Kairi was still babbling on in my left ear while I tried to keep my mouth closed, lest I start to drool, and nodded occasionally or hummed thoughtfully, pretending to listen to her. Boy, that girl could go on and on. But I had a sneaking suspicion that her chatter was more an attempt to make Sora feel comfortable than to actually talk to me.
Finally, Sora had changed his outfit, now dressed in a rather tight, red T-shirt and pair of faded blue jeans. He grabbed a sweatshirt from his closet and tugged it over his head, mussing his already wild hair. He grinned that goofy grin of his that was just so adorable.
"Ready?"
I stood and nodded.
As if on cue, Aerith called up the stairs, "Guys, hurry up!"
"Coming!" Kairi replied in a singsong voice.
We headed down the stairs and grabbed our jackets before slipping out the door and piling back into Aerith's car.
"How far away is Barnes and Noble?" I asked.
"Oh, about fifteen minutes," Kairi said from the front.
I laid back and nestled my head in Sora's lap again. "Good."
Sora just blushed and looked out the window. Once we'd gotten on the road, he began absentmindedly stroking my head again, and I almost fell asleep. If we hadn't arrived when he did, I know I would've dozed off. I just don't understand why I find it so … soothing, so comforting, when people do that. I feel like it knocks down all of the walls I tend to build around myself, and I'm just so at ease. And when Sora does it … oh God, I don't know what comes over me. I can't describe it, but it's amazing.
The Barnes and Noble where Sora and Kairi worked wasn't all that grand, but more quaint and cozy. There was the typical café off to one side, I noticed as we entered, and then the section with all of the CD's and DVD's, etcetera, off to the other side. Everything else was nothing but books, books, and more books.
"All right, well," Kairi said, "we work up at the café. Our break is in an hour, so …"
"I'll just hang around until then," I offered with a smile.
Kairi grinned. "Great! Well, off we go." She hooked her arm in Sora's and turned around a nearby bookshelf. I turned the other way and headed towards the music.
The minutes passed slowly, and by the time I'd moved on, there was still nearly a half-hour left before their break. As I made my way down an aisle, idly glancing at the book titles, I bumped into something … or someone, rather, who gave a very indignant yelp.
"Hey, watch it!" the person snapped.
"Oh, sorry …" My voice trailed off as I met a pair of stormy, blue eyes. I'd seen them somewhere … this person … blonde hair, round face … something was desperately trying to click in my head.
"Well, well," she sneered. "Look who it is."
Oh, I did know her! I'd dated her! What was her name? N… something. "Nicole?" I guessed.
She glared. Nope, wrong name.
"Nancy?"
"What the hell is wrong with you?" the girl—whose name was not Nicole nor Nancy—demanded. "You're such an ass!"
"Uh …"
"You don't even remember my name!" She looked hurt, very hurt, and her eyes were brimming with angry tears. Oops.
"I'm … sorry?" I honestly didn't care. She was cute, a good kisser—if I remembered correctly, and one on a long list of conquests. I couldn't be bothered to remember all of their names. I was much better with physical identification.
"Ugh! I can't stand you!" she shouted, stomping on my foot.
"Ow!" I winced, hissing in pain as she pushed past me.
"Asshole!" she called over her shoulder.
I gritted my teeth, trying to will the pain in my toe away, growling, "Vindictive … little … bitch."
With the life I led, I tended to make more enemies than friends. Everyone in school knew of my reputation. I was admired and revered, but those who knew me on a more intimate level generally tended to hate me. My foot still hurt—case in point.
Within another minute or so, the pain had ebbed. I continued to aimlessly meander through the store as my mind launched into a gray swirl of thoughts. Yeah, most of them hated me, those who I'd played around with and dumped liked yesterday's trash, but there were some who still claimed to "love" me. They still claimed to love me after I'd used them inside and out until I bored myself and left them for someone else. I received letters from them, phone calls, e-mails, Valentine's Day cards, little tokens of affection. Pft. Love. I couldn't understand why people bothered to lend their minds to the belief that someone else completes them, the belief that there's some person out there that belongs to them, that belongs with them. It was nonsense.
I passed by a row of dictionaries and plucked one off the shelf, flipping through the crisp pages.
Love (lŭv) n 1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
Sheer nonsense.
Ruffling through the book again, I stopped on another page.
Lust (lŭst) n 1. Intense or unrestrained sexual craving.
That's more like it. Love is a myth. Lust is the cold, hard reality of the world. That was my philosophy, and I'd stick by it until the end of my days.
I replaced the dictionary and checked my cell phone for the time. They'd be on break in another ten minutes. I started up to the café. I made my way across the floor to the counter. Kairi was busy squirting whipped cream on top of someone's drink, her back turned to me. Sora was ringing the customer up, smiling as he spoke. He was wearing a green apron with a name tag pinned to the corner, "Sora" scrawled across in a handwriting that I thought was cute, neat and round, like a girl's handwriting.
I stood in line behind the man that Sora and Kairi were serving, looking up at the selection. Might as well order something.
"Have a nice day, sir," I could hear Sora say to the customer.
"You too." He took his drink and walked away to the little table set up with straws, napkins, cream and sugar and everything else people needed to suit their needs.
I stepped up and grinned, leaning my elbows on the counter. Sora took an unconscious step back, surprise flickering through his eyes. "H-Hi," he stuttered.
"Hey," I replied easily.
Kairi bounced to Sora's side. "Hi'ya, Riku! Having fun?"
"I am now," I answered, my eyes trained on Sora's. He blushed lightly.
"You … You want something?" Sora asked.
"Sure." I looked up over his head at the selection again. "Uh … small decaf latte?"
"Right away." Kairi disappeared behind Sora again and prepared my order.
"So, you guys almost done?" I asked as Sora told me the cost and pulled out my wallet.
"Yup. Just another two or three minutes … about."
"How long do you get?"
"Eh … half-hour."
"You wanna go out then?"
"Out of … the store?"
"Yeah, just walk around. Get some air."
"Uh … okay."
I smiled. "Good."
"Here, Riku." Kairi appeared again and handed me my drink.
"Thanks. Oh, me and Sora are gonna go outside during your break, Kairi."
Kairi's eyebrows arched. "Alone?"
"Uh … well … I wasn't planning on it—" a lie "—but …"
Kairi seemed to catch on to the message I was trying to get across. "Ah … uh … I was gonna …" She turned to one of her coworkers, who was standing off to the side—a brown-haired girl with large, green eyes. "I was gonna hang with Selphie." She grinned, wrapping her arm around poor Selphie's neck in an over-enthusiastic gesture. "So you two will just have to go without me."
"But, Kairi …"
"Sorry Sora, but you know, I promised Selphie—"
"Promised me what?"
"That I'd hang with you during our break, silly! Don't you remember? You … had a question on the Math homework."
"I did?"
"Yes, you did." Kairi gave Selphie a look, and a silent exchange seemed to pass between them.
Selphie brightened. "Oh … oh! Right!" She giggled.
"All right, well …" Sora bit his lip uneasily. "I guess we'll just go then." He slipped his apron off and disappeared through a door some ways off to the left, reappearing with his jacket in hand.
I smiled, taking a sip of my latte. "Come on, then!"
We stepped away from the café and started towards the entrance. Sora pulled the jacket around him, poking his arms through the sleeves and zipping it up to his chin.
It wasn't as cold as I'd expected outside, though the sky was painted a pearly gray. I took a deep breath. I always loved the smell of fresh air. It made me feel so alive. I turned to Sora, who was watching the sky, his arms wrapped around him.
"I think it's gonna snow," he muttered.
"Yeah, I think so too. Hey, maybe we'll have a snow day!" I said excitedly, trying to spur some reaction.
Sora shrugged. "Maybe."
I took another sip of my latte before putting it on the ledge of the window and taking Sora's arm. "Come on," I said.
"Wh-Where are we going?"
"For a little walk."
I pulled him around the corner to the side of the building. There was a Bed, Bath, and Beyond right next to Barnes and Noble, leaving a little alleyway-like space between the two. It was bathed in shadow, though light still penetrated the area, casting faint shadows askew. It was quiet and deserted. There didn't seem to be many people out today.
"What are we doing?" Sora asked.
I didn't answer right away, but turned to him, looking him straight in the eye. I again had the fleeting sensation of suffocating in his rich, blue eyes that so resembled the summer sky. My eyes fell down to his lips, and I remembered that little kiss I had given him back at his school. It hadn't even been much of a kiss, just slightly beyond a peck, an affectionate greeting. Glancing back up to meet his gaze, the sense of needing him came over me again, and I grabbed his shoulders, pushing him gently against the wall.
He started. "R-Riku?"
"Can I kiss you?" It tumbled so easily out of my mouth, as if it had been resting behind my lips for some time now, this simple, yet heavy request. But immediately I felt heat rise in my cheeks.
Sora's eyes had widened and he'd looked away, his eyes flickering with uncertainty. And, for the first time in my life, I felt afraid of being rejected.
"If … If you don't want to … it's okay," I whispered, my heart hammering painfully in my chest, slowly cracking, preparing to shatter. It felt so strange.
"It's not that," he murmured. "I just … I don't know how."
I nearly laughed, but caught myself. "You don't know how to kiss?"
He shook his head, blushing fiercely.
I reached up with one hand and cupped his cheek, turning his head to look at me, feeling the heat in his face contrast against my icy fingers. "It's okay," I said softly, a smile breaking across my countenance, pressing my forehead against his. "I'll teach you."
He nodded, his mouth hanging open slightly as he tilted his head up towards mine, eyes closing. I leaned in and slowly pressed my lips against his. He jumped, and I could feel him tremble, but I remained patient and coaxed him with my mouth, moving my lips against his, encouraging him to kiss back. After a moment, he caught on and began to mimic my movements, tentatively and awkwardly.
But, oh, it was so perfect! It felt as if our mouths were made for each other, fitting together like puzzle pieces. He tasted so sweet and delicate, and his lips were so soft, almost effeminate. I wanted to devour him with my kiss, but I restrained myself, knowing that if I moved too fast, I'd scare him. I moved my one hand from his shoulder to his chest and could feel his heart beating a mile a minute. I smiled into the kiss, ignoring the fact that my own heart was beating just as fast.
We parted all too soon. But I was determined to take things slow. He was already out of breath, face flushed. He looked up at me, dazed. I was still smiling. He reached up and brushed his lips with his fingertips. I stroked his cheek with my thumb before moving my hand down to meet his hand at his mouth, taking it into both of mine and raising it to my lips. He blushed deeper as I gently kissed his fingers.
"You're not bad," I whispered, my smile quirking into something of an amused smirk.
He took a shuddering breath, finally smiling himself.
"Can I … kiss you again?" I requested, releasing his hand.
He laughed softly and nodded, wrapping his arms around my neck and leaning against me, breaking away from the wall. I grabbed his waist, leaning down to capture his lips again. This time, he responded immediately, no longer trembling. I decided to take it a step further and ran my tongue along his bottom lip earnestly. He gasped, and I took the opportunity to slip my tongue inside. He immediately adjusted to the intrusion, battling my tongue with his, sighing in rapture.
I would never admit it, but I think that the most amazing kiss I'd ever had was with Sora. I didn't understand why, though. There was nothing all that great about the way he kissed, no better than anyone else. But maybe there was just something about kissing him that made it seem so much more …. magical.
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