Chances in Life

XO'MagickMoon'OX

.Chapter IX. The Origins

A/N: Thank you, as usua, to everyone who's reviewed! Much love to you all!

AbnormallyWeirdPerson: Thanks, as usual, for your long and very very awesome review! As for your question about Seph, Cloud, and Leon...well, there was some sort of relationship issue, but think back to when Kairi said the Aerith was Cloud's high school sweetheart. That might give you some sort of a clue. And PDA in the ice cream parlor. Gotta love it, ne? Mint chocolate chip ice cream with rainbow sprinkles is one of my personal favorites, and it did sound like something that Sora would get. Chocolate is my other favorite, hence Riku's preference in ice cream. Black raspberry is also good... oh, that's going off topic. :D Anyway, thanks again!

RMSTitanic89: O.O;; Your review was VERY long, and very conversational, and therefore, I loved it. :D Thank you! It was great to hear your opinion on Sora and Riku's relationship, etc. It's true that they should have equality. They usually do in my stories. BUT, in this particular story, Sora is supposed to be the very pure, virgin Catholic boy, who has never been in a relationship due to his being gay and his homophobic surroundings. On the other hand, Riku is as far from pure as Satan himself, definitely not a virgin (quite the opposite), and doesn't believe in love...only lust. Therefore, Sora sorta unintentionally took the "female role" because of his inexperience. But thank you for pointing out that they should be equal, because I'll be able to keep that in mind while developing their characters. I was planning on making Sora gain some sort of boldness after a while, but if you hadn't mentioned it, I probably would've forgotten to develop his character as such. As for Seph and Cloud, they themselves weren't in a relationship, but they did have some sort of relationship fued. Like I told AbnormallyWeirdPerson above, think back to when Kairi said the Aerith was Cloud's high school sweetheart. That might give you some sort of a clue. ;) There will be mentionings of hetero couples, but no focus on them. Like I said, there's mentioning of CloudxAerith, as well as Riku and various other girls, seeing that he really "gets around" with pretty much ev-er-y-one. I agree with the not having every couple in the story yaoi-based. It doesn't make it very realistic. And, finally, I am going to try to include AxelxRoxas. I never plan on including them, but somehow they always find a way into my writing, 'cause really, they are just too adorably together, ne? XD Anyway, thanks again so much for your review! I hope you continue to share your thoughts, and keep a tab on how well I'm doing with all of the things you mentioned.

RainbowSerenity: Thank you so much for your review, too! Ahem as for the SephyxCloud turn, I don't think there's going to be any SephxCloud... did not intend it (though I love them together as much as any fangirl). :D But there is going to be some sort of issue between. As I mentioned above, think back to when Kairi said the Aerith was Cloud's high school sweetheart. That might give you some sort of a clue. Hehe, mint chocholate chip with rainbow sprinkles is a personal favorite of mine, too! So is chocolate. Anyway, thanks again so much! I loved your review!

Blackened-wings: Thanks, too, for your review! So glad you like my story. :D If you want to hear any of the music on "Crimson", I could always e-mail the mp3's to you. ;) Any music, for that matter. Yay for wind instruments! I play violin, myself, as well as bass guitar (I can't count how many times I've mentioned that throughout my A/N's; I should really stop mentioning it XD), and my friend is also teaching me flute. w00t! Hehe, well, anyway, thanks again!

And now, on with the show! -raises curtain-

...-drops it again by accident-...

Audience: hissBOOhiss

Magick: Ehehehe... -raises curtain again- Sorry 'bout that!

-curtain falls again-

Axel: Aw, the hell with it! -torches the curtain- Mwahaahah!

Magick:... -backs away slowly- Aaaanyway, NOW on with the show!

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/Sora's POV/

As much as I hated to dispel the gaiety that had overcome us, I wanted more than anything to know what had made Riku so upset. I don't think I'd be able to stand him keeping things from me.

"That car," he said, "was my mom's car."

Okay, so I didn't see anything wrong there.

"I wasn't expecting my parents home for another week, so I thought it'd be okay to go to my house." He took another lick of his ice cream while I ate mine in silence, waiting for him to continue. "My parents… well, let's just say that they aren't on the best of terms with each other anymore. Consequently, they aren't on the best of terms with me or Seph, either." He laughed, and it sounded so hollow. "You'd almost think they'd have forgotten they even had children if they didn't send money for the bills each month.

"My dad's an archaeologist, and my mom is a doctor. Instead of starting up a practice here, she spends a lot of time in other countries that don't have good medical care, or some shit like that."

"That sounds nice," I said slowly, ignoring the feeling of treading on thin ice.

"Yeah, it would." Riku scowled at his ice cream. "My parents spend a lot of time away from home, and a lot of time away from each other, and not just because of their jobs. They can't stand each other, and they'd get a divorce if they cared to go through all of the trouble that it entails. So instead of getting a divorce, they just act like they're divorced. And ever since Seph and I became old enough to take care of ourselves, they basically just walked right out of our lives. They come back for the holidays, probably to ease their nearly nonexistent consciences, and sometimes they don't even come back then. It would probably be better if they really did just stop coming back. Things are always a mess at home when they're there."

He looked up at me and smiled almost sadly. "That's why I couldn't bring you inside; I didn't want you to have to see it."

I fixed my gaze the plastic tabletop, studying a small stain of sticky strawberry ice cream. "Oh, I understand," I said softly. "Thanks, Riku," I added, feeling appreciation for him bloom anew in my chest. I turned my eyes back to meet his, smiling sincerely.

He let out a breath of relief, saying, "You know, you're the first person I've ever told that to."

"Huh? Really?"

"Yeah." That said, he continued eating his ice cream, licking the rivulets of chocolate that had run down the sides during our conversation.

We let the topic of his parents drop, and started talking about this and that and more of this. It was a lot of fun, just talking to him. We talked about food, movies, music (Riku loved to talk about music), annoying teachers and favorite classes. We talked about friends and about our plans for winter vacation. He said he didn't have much planned, and I told him that I was going to visit my grandparents. He looked a little disappointed, but I assured him that I'd be back before the end of the break. And he smiled.

I loved his smiles.

/Riku's POV/

When I dropped Sora off at his house, he leaned over and gave me a kiss before saying, "I had a lot of fun."

"Good." I grinned and pulled him back for another kiss, but he made it quick and broke away.

"G'night, Riku."

"'Night," I murmured. And with that, he left, and I watched him head up his driveway and disappear into his house. Suddenly, I felt very lonely. Brushing the biting sensation aside, I took off down the road and headed for home.

When I got there, I saw Seph sitting on the porch steps, looking contemplative and brooding. Or, at least, more so than usual. This was not a good sign. Nor was the silver Camry parked beside my mom's CRV. Dad was home.

With my bass slung over my shoulder, I approached my brother warily. "What's happening?" I asked, and there was nothing casual about my tone.

Seph closed his eyes and shook his head. "I don't know if you want to go in there."

I sighed. This was just ridiculous. It was our own home, dammit! It wasn't my parents' home; it may have been their house, but not their home. And I'd be damned if they'd alienate us from our own fucking home. Again. Defiantly, I marched up the stairs past Sephiroth and opened the unlocked door, stepping inside. Without a word, I ascended the stairwell and made it to my room without having any sort of confrontation with my parents.

And I knew why.

I closed my door and hastily, almost desperately, turned on my stereo, trying to drown out the sounds coming from my parents' room. They were sounds that most kids never wanted to hear their parents making. I remember a few years ago, I'd been revolted at the very thought of what my parents were doing when I would hear those same sounds every night, and I would become very attached to my headphones during those times. But now, it barely fazed me. Just barely.

As the music blanketed all other unwanted noise, I set my bass down and collapsed on my bed. What I had told Sora about my parents was really only half the story.

My parents had never been in love, as far as I knew. They didn't love each other now, so surely they had never loved each other in the first place. How was it possible to love someone enough to marry them, to have children with them, and then to just fall out of love with them like that? It wasn't possible. Which meant that they had never been in love to begin with.

It was true that their jobs required them to spend a lot of time away from home, away from each other, but not as much time as they spent. The reason they spent so much time away from each other was because they were spending it with other people. And not in the business sense, but in the adulterous sense. Sometimes, Dad would come home with another woman when Mom wasn't here and make it clear that their relationship was more than friendly. Mom would do the same thing with other men. What was worse was that sometimes they both came home with someone else at the same time. The fact that they were disloyal to each other didn't even bother them.

But what was the worst by far was when they'd come home for the holidays and spend every night fucking each other, only to carry on throughout the day as if nothing had happened. If there were tender smiles the morning after, some sort of affection or fondness between them, then perhaps I wouldn't mind it all as much. But there never were.

That, my friends, is what attraction is all about. There is no love, only lust. People pretend that there's love to make life more bearable. They want to feel attached to someone else, and so they do. They want to believe that there's something magical in the way someone else makes them feel, something chaste, something clean and simple and oh so beautiful. But it's never anything more than make-believe. Love is about as real as the stories my mom would read to me before bed when I was young. It's about as real as the way she used to look at me when reading those stories, like she cared about me. Like I was born from the love shared between her and her husband, and not the product of some careless accident. But, whenever I would receive those looks and smile back at her, I was only deluding myself, setting myself up for the crash and burn that I experienced when I realized that there was no love. Only lust.

Because, the week after I turned fifteen, when Sephiroth was eighteen, my mom walked out the door and didn't come back until Christmas. Dad did the same thing. And then there were no more bedtime stories, or feelings of motherly care, of fatherly affection. And when they finally did come back, that was the first time I heard The Sounds that I had never thought I would, nor wanted to, hear coming from my parents' bedroom. And when the morning came, and Mom and Dad were as cold to each other as they'd ever been, I knew that it was all make-believe. Love was make-believe.

I felt tired. More like drained. I sighed and got up to turn my lights off, keeping my stereo just short of blaring, and stripped down to my boxers before crawling back into bed.

As I drifted in and out of consciousness, the music playing in the background of my thoughts, I really wished Sora was there with me.

"…Just don't let me lie here by myself.
Let's go, I know I'm faded…

Outta sight, tonight, just stay with me, I don't wanna go home.
Outta sight, tonight, just rescue me, I don't wanna go…"

/Sora's POV/

"Sora, is that you?"

I walked into the kitchen, seeing my mom and dad sitting there. Dad was looking up from the book he'd been reading and Mom was stirring a cup of hot chocolate. They smiled at me, and I felt almost guilty smiling back, thinking of Riku. I really hoped he was okay…

"How was the concert?" my mom asked.

"It was great!" I said, taking the seat next to my dad. I added offhandedly, "Me and Riku went out for ice cream after."

"You did?" my dad quirked an eyebrow. I felt my cheeks heat, and vehemently tried to will the blush away.

"Uh… yeah."

"What about Kairi and Selphie? Weren't they with you?"

"Um, they were, but…" Stupid, stupid, stupid! What had I gotten myself into? My parents didn't know I had a boyfriend. Hell, they didn't even know I was gay! Gah, this was bad. I really didn't want to deal with a whole "coming out" scene right now.

Thankfully, the phone rang.

I jumped to my feet. "I'll get it!" And so I did, answering the phone and feeling relief flood me to hear Kairi's voice on the other end. I turned to my parents and said, "It's Kairi." And with that, I took the cordless and dashed to my room.

I put the phone back to my ear to hear: "…a? Sora? Answer me, dammit!"

"Sorry," I breathed into the phone. "But, Kairi, I owe you. Big time."

"Oh? Why's that?"

I flopped down on my bed. "Ah, nothing."

"So?"

"So what?"

"So what happened? What did you guys do after you left?" I could discern the suggestive note in her voice, coupled with blatant amusement.

"N-Nothing!" I said.

"Liar."

"W-We were going to go to his house to watch a movie and stuff—"

"And stuff," she repeated, and I swear she was about to do one of those creepy, fangirl cackles.

I ignored it. "—but…something happened, so we got ice cream instead."

"What happened?" she asked with genuine curiosity.

"Uh…well… I don't know if he wants me to go around telling people."

"Oh." I could hear the slight disappointment and bit my lip. "Well, that's okay." Instantly, she went back to her chipper, if not over-excited, self. "But you guys made-out, right?"

"Kairi!" I groaned.

"Please tell me! Come on!"

"And what good will it do you? Is it going to improve your life? Is it going to end world hunger? Will it bring peace on Earth?" I demanded exaggeratedly.

"It might. And if it doesn't, it'll at least make me a very happy girl."

I sighed heavily, making sure she could hear it. "All right, yes, we did."

I heard her giggle crackle over the phone. "How many times?"

"It was good speaking to you, too, Kairi!" I said and made to hang up.

"All right, all right," she conceded, still giggling. "Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"'kay. Night, Kairi."

"Night Sora. Pleasant wet dreams."

"What?" I was answered by the dial tone. I sighed again, turning the phone off. She was a strange one, that Kairi. Sometimes I had to think really hard to remind myself of just why she was my best friend.

With that, I wriggled out of Kairi's tight jeans, letting out a breath of relief as they hit the floor, followed by my shirt and that insufferable dog collar-like accessory. It felt so good to flop onto my bed in just my boxers, free from the restraints of those suffocating clothes.

I drew my hand over my face and laughed as I remembered Riku's reaction to my outfit. That had to have been the most intense make-out session so far. If just an outfit could spur that sort of response, then maybe I wouldn't mind wearing it more often.

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The snippet of that song in there was Rescue Me by Unwritten Law. Me no ownie!

And so, the truth is revealed! What'dya think? Review, please! Feed the fire of my inspiration!