A/N Here's the next chapter. Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing. Enjoy…

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"What happened the other night? I thought you were coming by afterwards?"

"I know, but I was pretty tired so I decided just to head home."

Seth had been looking over one of his graphic design textbooks in the outdoor seating provided right by the on-campus cafeteria, while Ryan sat opposite him looking over his own work in preparation for the semester finals that were coming up.

"So did you get to talk to her?" Seth inquired, bringing his soda closer to him and taking a sip.

"No…I just must've missed her, I guess." Lying somewhat. If he continued further they would end up conversing more about Marissa and her new friend, and Ryan wasn't all that prepared to do that. "Actually you know what…" Ryan said, beginning to pack his things up from the table, "I've got to grab some books from the library, I'll see you later."

"Yeah sure man, see you later." Seth replied unbothered as his returned his attention to his notes.

Walking in through the glass doors, the noise and haywire from the outside suddenly disappeared as he entered the almost muted hall of the library entrance. Conforming to the surroundings, without a sound he made his way up the stairs into the appropriate section, passing fellow students hard at work. He reached the desired shelves and began scanning the titles on the spines of each book. Trying to focus on the task, he found that the silence only left room for his thoughts to easily surface. Since last seeing Marissa in the cafe a few days ago, shaking the images out of his mind, were proving difficult.

Her smile was the most prominent. The way she would do so with such innocence, and sincerity, but it was the reasons for her happiness at that moment, was what made Ryan's heart grow heavy. It had been a long while since he had shared in her joy, her laughter; a long while since she directed a smile towards him. Ryan missed that. Ryan missed her. All it took was one man to emerge in her life, to make him see she may not always be around waiting for him.

As if he were hallucinating, he heard her voice. Ryan could hear soft whispers and laughter coming from nearby; her voice, her laugh, that was trying to be contained in order to keep the peace. Was this all in his mind because he had just been thinking about her? Was it just wishful thinking that she would appear as he desired her? About to pick up another text he removed his hand and turned around to see if he could find her.

Peering through the gaps in the shelving that the uneven books had created, he began searching to where the source of that laughter had been coming from. Walking out to one side he stuck his head out, looking to his left then to his right, seeing if she were on the approach on the walkway, but no one, except the soft whispers continued. It was just there, merely taunting him, as if someone of a higher power had set out to do this in order to mock his situation. Then there it was, right above 'Modern Day Architecture; 1-12', through the cracks of the sequential volumes, he saw her face. A few rows down, she was there, radiant in coming into view.

More than anything he wanted to approach her, but then a dark cloud settled on his ray of hope as the same young man from the coffee shop came into line of sight. Interacting in a similar way, he would say something that would bring out a giggle on her part, and she would playfully slap him on the chest. Their chemistry seemed to be undeniable, and this time Ryan couldn't help but turn away, unable to watch further. But he was always happy when Marissa was happy, and it's for this reason he became torn as to how he felt about all this.

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Her laughter died as she tried to regain composure of herself, "Anyway, I'm going to head home. See you soon?"

Ethan smiled back at her, "Yeah, you bet, see you soon." He replied as he grabbed her books for her off the shelf and handed them to her.

Marissa took another breath, "I don't think this study partner thing is working out, we weren't at all constructive."

"Maybe you weren't, I got some stuff done." He said mocking her as he grinned.

"Yeah, yeah" she rolled her eyes. "Okay, I'm going, talk to you later." She finished as she made her way to walk out of the aisle and he gave her a small salute off.

She walked down the clear-way, passed the study desks, and the studious learners. In passing, out from the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a lone figure that had been standing with his back turned from her position, facing a large wall of readings for industrial design. Marissa stood there in silence just watching him for a moment before she would make her approach. A wide smile overcame her at the sight of Ryan, she had actually wanted to catch up, but hadn't managed to contact him as yet. It was a welcomed coincidence that he happened to be there, so as she lightly stepped towards him with his back still turned, inches away, she placed both her hands and covered his eyes trying her hardest to be silent.

"Guess who?" She whispered softly.

Upon feeling the touch he knew so well, a smile appeared on his face as it was still covered. Inhaling her fragrance brought him into a euphoric experience, he was almost speechless.

Letting go of him, he turned around as they greeted each other in the fashion they knew so well and have practiced numerous times.

"Hey..." Marissa said as she tipped her head to one side shyly.

"Hey..."

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"I didn't really get a chance to talk to you the other night."

He looked to the ground and then back up at her, "Yeah, it was kind of…all over the place." He said for a lack of anything better to say.

Marissa bit her lip a little hesitant, they hadn't spoken to each other one on one in close proximities in a while, and she felt like some sort of amateur. No longer running from him she took the first step to get their friendship back on track. "I uh…I'm finished for the day, I was thinking, if you're not busy…"

"No, no, I'm not busy", he replied a little too quickly to jump at the opportunity of spending some time with her again to get a chance to talk.

There was a brief silence until an idea had entered her mind, "I want to take you somewhere…"

Responding with his half lit smile, "…you want to take me somewhere?" He asked a little disbelievingly.

"Yeah Atwood, I do. Got a problem with that?" She said with her smile widening as they quickly fell back into the rhythms of a relationship that had been working for them so well in the past.

Raising both arms giving in, "Hey, you want to take me somewhere, that's fine with me. But I do have the car here, so…"

"That's okay, I'll go with you to drop it off at your place, and we'll go from there."

Picking up his belongings from the floor he swung his bag over his shoulder then took the initiative and grabbed the books out of her hand which she appreciated. "How chivalrous of you…" She said sarcastically.

"Hey well you know, chivalry is my middle name."

"Ryan-Chivalry-Atwood…You know I just don't see it." She giggled out loud as she mocked him.

"Oh you don't huh…" He said with a mischievous smile forming as he wrapped an arm around her neck and ruffling her hair as she shrieked and was filled with laughter; one of their fellow students having to shush them from a distance for disturbing the solemnity.

They took that as their cue to proceed and make an exit out of the building, walking out into the winter breeze as the sunlight dawned on their bodies. Together they walked in silence, keeping their thoughts to themselves with occasional glances over at each other, as each step they took was reflective of the small paces they would take in repairing a fraying relationship they both had a hand in letting it go astray.

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"I didn't even know you still came here." Ryan said astounded as he stood on a mount and looked at the same waters, the same bridge, the same panoramic vision as they did when they had toured the city together; easily a month ago now if not more. Marissa shut the boot of her car as she clutched a tartan picnic rug and laid it out on the soft grass.

"Yeah, I come here every now and again. I even have my own picnic rug, see…" She said as she fluttered out her right arm showcasing the item like women in game shows.

"Yeah I see that; very nice." He replied.

She slid off her ballet flats and sat cross-legged on the mat, patting the spot beside her for him to join her and he willingly obliged. They sat there for a moment, Marissa focusing on a butterfly that had settled on a daisy then beginning to swerve in and out like a figure skater through the tall stemmed dandelions. Both of them were carrying around with them questions, answers, it was deciding what to ask or choose what to answer that was the problem. Revealing too much or too little catalyses a chain reaction in how the rest of their conversation will play out. One question triggers another, then another, and if answered truthfully there's the chance it will upset the other, and if answered with a lie, it may just upset the balance in future and come back to haunt them.

She rubbed her arms trying to warm herself up from the cold air.

"Cold?" He asked.

She smiled, "I'm okay."

Instead of starting with a question, she provided an answer, "Ethan and I, just met…" She said amidst the silence as she stared out into a passing sailboat.

Taken aback at first with her choice of words he brought his knees up toward him to rest his arms on his caps. "…So I've heard", then, nothing other than the sound of a cicada gracing the air once more. Ryan wasn't sure if the next words would say would cause him to be disappointed or relieved.

"We're not dating, we're just friends." Marissa continued softly

Relief.

She picked up a small flower as she ran the petals through her fingers, feeling its velvety texture. His insides that had been suspended, now released some tension, but waited for the next thing she would say in great eagerness.

"He's a good guy. I mean, I just met him, but I think he's a good guy." She said sincerely with a sparkle in her eye and a small smile she kept to herself.

Ryan just continued to listen like a good friend would, but underneath it all, he wasn't at all sure he wanted her to continue anymore. Hearing the pro's of another guy that was in all likeliness after her heart, felt like a needle into his own with every positive thing she said about him.

"We actually met here…" Marissa began as she would then to continue and speak of the recent fond memory. "…Saturday actually, that afternoon."

Taking a look around where he had been sitting, as if trying to find something, studying parts of the luscious earth and feeling as if he had trodden on sacred ground.

She noticed this immediately, "…not here exactly", with a slight laugh. "Usually I would come here just to clear my head, highlight some notes, or just enjoy the view. But that day I actually decided I'd take a walk for once, and found my way to the bridge."

She sighed, "It's really quite stupid when you say it out loud, but I walked a couple hundred feet out and looked down, I just felt overwhelmed you know, the thought of being so small in a vast world, and I just got emotional, started tearing up like an idiot…" Marissa continued slightly laughing at the thought of how she must've looked, while Ryan's face was overcome with concern as she revised events with him that seemed to stem with sadness. "Ethan just happened to be out on a walk, saw me crying, crying girl looking down from a bridge, you can guess what happened. But he ran toward me, waving his hands like an insane person…" Marissa pressed on as a similar glint in her eyes appeared.

Ryan began feeling uncomfortable reliving events of how Marissa and another man met. It was slowly tearing away at him as he tried his best to conceal his feelings. Deep down he wanted to know, he was curious and she had been openly telling him what he wanted to find out without having being asked. But without knowing it would eat away at him, it's just that in knowing, there was no arguing with the truth, he couldn't gloss over it with his imagination and pretend it was never there, which scared him.

"He thought I was going to jump, from there he just introduced himself. We went back to have coffee, talked for the afternoon, and met up again to go to the club. Met up a couple times since Saturday, he's called, you know, the usual. But yeah…I think he's a good guy", Marissa ending her little story as she left it there for Ryan to imagine how they must've hit it off.

Ryan sat there, feeling jealous; jealous of how someone could just come from nowhere and have an effect on her. The bright perfect weather was in now way reflecting how he felt. "Why are you…why are you telling me this?" He asked a little unsure, with his voice slightly shaky as it had been he first thing he said in a short while.

Marissa took a deep breath as even she was unsure of why she felt she was telling him all this, but persevered, "Because I want to be honest with you…and I think if I should be honest with anyone, it should be you…"

Ryan bit his lip and nodded, "Are you going to keep seeing him?"

"I don't know, I'll continue seeing him as a friend, I'm not sure if I want it to go further." She said earnestly and then paused for a second. "I want to tell you something…"

"Okay?" Ryan replied with uncertainty as to where this discussion was heading.

"When we decided a long time ago we'd take a break, I agreed, and that if we met people, or found someone else we'd understand. When you moved in with Sarah I was scared…I really was, its stupid I know, but I think even you knew I was scared. Scared of change, scared I would lose you, maybe not to her, but to just…anyone really." Marissa stopped to look at him, focusing on only each he tried to read into her, but what he had always been sure of was no longer there, he couldn't guess what she'd say next, he couldn't understand what was hidden between the lines, and it was paining him with every word she said that he couldn't anticipate. Almost like she was different, not bad different, just different, unable to read into her like he used to.

"I'm sorry…" She said, barely above a whisper.

"What for?"

"Not keeping my end of the bargain. I've seen you with Sarah, just the natural way you guys are when you're around each other. I said I'd be okay with it if we met new people, and even in that, I was jealous, I really was. I wasn't happy, I was holding on, unable to let go."

Ryan couldn't at all believe what he was hearing, were these words really coming from her; all this time, with no idea as to how she felt. "Sarah and I are just-"

"-friends, I know, but it's the idea behind it, and I decided I'm not going to fight this. I'm not meant to fight this. No matter how hard you try you'll never beat what's meant to be. I can honestly say now, I'm really okay with all this. You're friendship is important to me…you're important to me."

"Marissa, what are you saying?" His eyes were preparing themselves to well up as his face suddenly became flushed in the winter air.

"This isn't anything to do with Ethan, because I decided this before even meeting him, but if we meet other people, I want us to be able to talk about it. Be the first ones to tell each other when we have good news, talk about our bad days, our good days, talk about our relationships, be happy for each other, no matter what that means…It's what you wanted, and I think…its what I want too."

He nodded, like he understood and so Marissa took his hand in hers and stroked the side of it with her index finger. He was trying to comprehend everything he just heard and was at a loss for words.

"I'm always going to love you, you know…" She said as she leant her head upon his shoulder as a tear had no choice but to make its way down her cheek, and he removed his hand from her grasp and took his arm, wrapping it around her and drawing her into him.

"Me too…"

…and there it was. It was like she was letting him go. Letting him go before he even had a proper chance to get back into her life the way he should be. But he knew it was his fault, he had his chances, he just chose not to take them, thinking she would always be there. Marissa sat there, close to him as she could be, but he felt like she couldn't have been any further from him. She was moving on, just like they said they would, just when he wanted to find her, she was no longer there to be found.

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