Chances in Life

XO'MagickMoon'OX

.Chapter XI. Riku's Hamartia

A/N: Once again, thank you to all my wonderful reviewers! I love you all. :3

Insomniak: I'm glad my story can make you feel. :D

RMSTitanic89: Hehe, yes, I made Sora "more dominant"-ish. I actually think I would've been stuck on the scene in the car if you hadn't suggested that; it would have been a hackneyed make-out scene with Riku dominating and Sora musing. Blah blah blah. But, thanks to you, I was able to add a little twist. ;) And you hinted that Kairi should have a boyfriend. I would give her one, if I knew who to pair her up with. The only one I can see anything happening with with her is Sora, and, well, we know that won't happen in this story. Any suggestions?

-Zeida-and-Maria-: Yeah, I've seen the stories where Riku's the singer. I think mine is the only one where he's a bassist... I wonder what he'd be like if he was the drummer. -muses- Anyway, I figured it was best to make him the bassist, because I can relate easiest to that. Also, bass is just a kick-ass instrument. XD And you mentioned about my making Axel a homophobic bastard... hehehe, well, think back to how he wasn't really involved in the fight. There'll be more on him in the next chapter, and you'll find out his real story.

RainbowSerenity: -munches on cookie- I'm glad you liked the Crayola comment. It's true, though, that they have all of these make-believe colors. Well, maybe not make-believe colors, but make-believe names. Like "macaroni" or "robin's egg blue". So, I figured that they could quite possibly have a "Sora's Blush Red", no? XD And I'm glad that my story was able to have some sort of effect on you; I like those stories the best, don'tcha think? Stories that you can relate to and/or make you feel something. And nice picking up the thing about Axel; there'll be more on his story in the next chapter. Hehehe... Well, here's more of Riku's stubborn denial. You'll probably still want to stab him with a spork. XD

AbnormallyWeirdPerson: Hahaha, yup, Sora didn't know what "PDA" was. I know it was a while before I learned what it was. Or maybe that was "TLC"... ah, either way. And yes, Sora was more dominant; nice surprise for Riku, ne? Well, you have RMSTitanic89 to thank for that; they were the once who suggested I make Sora dominate more. Guys and Dolls is a play about...um...well, men and women. It involves gambling and Christian missionaries and romance, lying and deceiving, and a whole bunch of stuff like that (you can probably find a summary on Wikipedia or something). My high school theatre company performed that play in the spring, so that's where that came from. :D I don't know if Sora and Kairi will get the parts or anything; I actually only included that part 'cause I needed Sora to be at school around a time when not a lot of teachers would be there so he could get beat up. Gah, I know, that's horrible of me, but ah well. :);; So I probably won't be focusing on that much, though, now that you've mentioned it, I'll probably mess around with it a little more. I believe the same about the Bible, that it was written by people and that it's probably not the direct word of God. When it comes to the Bible, I look for the main message, which is about the loving and forgiving nature of God, and don't focus on the little details, as you never know who really came up with them. And yes, it does feel good to rant/ramble about that kind of stuff. I do it all the time, so feel free to do it, too:D As for Sora's roll in the fight, I figured that since Sora was the main character of Kingdom Hearts, the hero, to boot, with all of the kick-ass moves and abilities, that it would be very OOC to make him some wimp. And you also picked up on Axel's little quirk; what is he hiding? Well, his story is to be revealed in the next chapter. Okay, I've rambled long enough. Enjoy the chapter!

The Glass Slipper: Ah, your Catholic school sounded nice. Nothing like Sora's, ne:) Dominant Sora was fun to write! You can RMSTitanic89 to thank for that. They suggested I make him a little more dominant. And poetic Kairi... hehe, I think I'm modeling her character after me. After all, her character in the game is pretty shallow, so it's fun to write her 'cause you can twist her every which way and no one will really complain.

Novelist: Sorry for the confusion! Well, I never mentioned Zexion's name. But he was there. He was here:

"Or you'll what?" a third asked. He brushed a purplish lock of hair out of his face, no emotion displayed on his countenance. "Have your fairy hit us with his magic wand?"

And here:

Turning, I saw the other bastard, some freak with purple-gray hair, staring coolly at me. It didn't look like he was going to attack me, but I still wanted to kick his ass, I was so angry. So I settled for shoving him roughly back into his brown-haired friend, who was still trying to catch his sparse breath.

I tried to work his name in there somewhere, but it felt kinda awkward anywhere I tried to put it. It sounded weird enough having all of these people that know each other addressing each other so randomly. Anyway, sorry again, though:);; Hehehe, I don't really think Kairi forgot her notebook either. I was thinking about mentioning that, that her running away was just a ploy to get Sora and Riku alone in the car, but ah. I left it open for interpretation! And like I said above somewhere, I think I'm modeling Kairi after me, or my inner yaoi fangirl. ;) And as for the using other senses in your writing, I'm glad you're noticing it in mine. If you ever think there's some sort of digusting imbalance of using the senses in my stories, feel very free to point it out! Like I told you, I'm still trying to break out of my habit of focusing on sight.

Akira-of-the-Demons: Hope this chapter makes you happier! And, the question is, is Axel really a homophobe? That shall be revealed in the next chapter. :)

Aaaanyway, here's the next installment of Chances in Life. Enjoy!

Hamartia (άμαρτία):

A "tragic flaw" in the character of the protagonist (the tragic hero).

Also, a "tragic mistake" where the character makes one fatal mistake based on an incomplete self knowledge

---

/Riku's POV/

By the time we were walking up Sora's front porch steps, I was carrying him bridal-style. He'd protested at first, saying that he felt like a girl, but I just shushed him and told him to stop moving as he'd struggled in my hold. He'd winced from even the small movements he was making (I could tell his head was throbbing) and conceded grudgingly, snuggling into my chest.

Kairi opened the door for us, stepping through and calling to Sora's parents. I pushed through the doorway, leaning against the cold wood as the door closed behind us. I was still carrying Sora like he was a delicate damsel, and I didn't really care that he was blushing as his parents came into the foyer.

"Sora!" his mom gasped. She rushed forward, brushing his bangs aside.

He peered up at her, giving a shaky smile. "Hey Mom."

"What happened to you!" she all but shrieked.

"I just…got into a fight at school…" he explained lamely. I rolled my eyes.

"Not again!" his mother groaned. "Sora, this has to stop! Look at you!" Then, as if suddenly realizing my existence, she looked up at me and asked, "Who are you?"

I jumped, a little startled at the sudden attention, and answered, "Riku Ishiguro, ma'am."

"Oh, so you're Riku." She smiled at me, her previous frenzy seemingly dissipated.

"Um… Mrs. Tsukada, do you mind if we take Sora to his room?" Kairi asked. She cast me a sidelong glance, and I silently thanked her. I seemed to do that a lot.

"Sure," she said.

I nodded and started towards the stairs, but Sora's father's voice stayed my feet. "Is Sora incapable of walking by himself?"

I started, glancing at him over my shoulder. "Uh…yeah, he twisted his ankle," I lied smoothly, tacking on a polite "sir" as an afterthought. Getting on my boyfriend's parents' bad side wasn't high on my list of priorities. Of course, from the distinct aura his parents were radiating, I suspected that they had no idea I was Sora's boyfriend. Regardless, I didn't want to get on their bad side.

When no more was said, I continued on my way, Kairi leading me to Sora's room, though I was pretty sure I remembered where it was from my prior visit to it. Before we'd gotten out of earshot, I heard Mrs. Tsukada say, "Well, he's certainly a handsome boy." I smirked, despite the situation, and listened to Mr. Tsukada's quiet reply of "Hn".

Closing Sora's door behind us, I made my way to his bed and gingerly laid him down. He was still blushing and muttering something that involved the words "am not" and "girl". I just smiled at him and placed a kiss on his forehead.

There was a knock on his door, and his parents came in a moment later. His mother was carrying a bottle of antiseptic and a box of bandages, as well as a warm washcloth. She busied herself with fixing him up while I perched on the end of Sora's bed. Kairi sat in the chair at his desk.

"So," his father spoke, "how do you know Sora again?"

Oh boy, here came the Q & A. And he didn't even know I was Sora's boyfriend yet! I wondered what the Q & A would be like if he actually knew about Sora and my relationship. "We met at the mall a few weeks ago," I answered, composed as ever.

"Where do you go to school?"

"The public high school."

"What grade are you in?"

"I'm a senior."

"Ah, so this is your last year. Are you planning on going to college?"

"Uh, yeah. I got accepted to the community college."

"Why not somewhere else? Bad grades?"

"Dad!" Sora yelped from the bed, then hissing as antiseptic was dabbed onto the gash in his forehead.

I just laughed and shook my head. "No, I'm an A-B student, but I don't really feel the need to ship myself off to some fancy college. As far as I'm concerned, my future's right here in this town. Or, currently, at least."

"And what future would that be?"

"Music. I'm in a band with my brother and our friends."

"Oh, that's right." Mr. Tsukada smiled. "Sora went to your performance the other night."

I nodded, grinning a little at the memory.

"They're amazing," Sora piped up.

"Yeah, you'll be seeing their albums on the shelves one day soon. Music videos on TV, songs on the radio, you know," Kairi added, gesticulating mildly with a hand.

"So, Sora," his mother spoke, packing up the medical supplies, "why were you in a fight?"

"Oh. Well…" I could see the confliction in his eyes, and knew then for sure that his parents had no idea that he was gay. "You know, they were just assholes looking for an easy target."

"Why are you an easy target?" his dad asked.

Sora shrugged. "I guess I look like one. I'm not exactly bodybuilder material or anything."

And thank the gods for that. Picturing a bodybuilder Sora was just… Ew. He was adorable the way he was.

"And I'm kinda short for my age," he continued.

I liked his height, too. I could hold him comfortably and he could put his head on my chest.

"Who were they, Sora? We'll call the school and tell the principal—"

"I don't know their names," Sora said. I got the feeling he was lying. "Just, don't worry about it."

"Don't worry about it!" his mother cried, aghast. "Sora, look at you! You're lucky you don't need stitches for that cut on the side of your head!"

"Mom, I'm fine now," he persisted. He looked tired, as if he'd had this argument—or some like it—many times before. It made my heart throb painfully to think about it. "I just…want to rest for a while."

His mother nodded curtly. "Fine. We'll talk more about it later."

With that, his parents left. Kairi glanced between me and Sora and gave a sort of half-smile. "I guess I'll get going now. You two probably want some time alone."

I chuckled and murmured my thanks before she waved cutely and left the room, closing the door gently behind her. And so Sora and I were left alone. I crawled from my spot on the edge of his bed until I was laying next to him. He rolled onto his side, looking at me with no trace of happiness on his face. I hated it. I liked to see him smile.

Blood was no longer smudged across his face. His lip and nose were clean again, and the gash on the side of his forehead was bandaged up neatly. Glancing down, I saw that his knee was fixed up, too. How many times have he and his family had to go through this routine? With Sora coming home, all battered and bloodied, and his mother having to clean him up and make the pain go away? Too many times, I decided. Sora was so beautiful, so perfect, so wonderful. Someone like him shouldn't have to suffer like this.

"Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you all right?"

"…Why do you ask?"

"It…looks like you're about to cry."

"Oh." I felt my cheeks burn a little and rolled onto my back, rubbing at my stinging eyes. Dammit. It had been a long time since I'd last cried, and it had never been on account of someone else's issues; it had always been me wallowing in my own problems. But…I guess Sora wasn't just "someone else". He was…well, he was Sora. He was my boyfriend.

But why would that matter? I'd had plenty of boyfriends before, and I'd always been the sole cause of the majority of their pain, using them and then throwing them away, breaking their hearts. I'd never really felt guilty, and I'd never worried about their problems, their concerns. But here I was, practically in tears because of something that someone else had to deal with.

No, not "someone else". Sora.

I rolled back onto my side, feeling my tears return to whatever reservoir they'd escaped from, and stroked Sora's cheek with my thumb. He winced as I ran over a tender spot that was already starting to bruise. Once again, hatred for those bastards who'd done this to Sora reared its ugly head. I swear I'd make them pay. Sora didn't deserve this. He was the last person to deserve this.

Slowly, I leaned forward and pressed my lips gently against his, mindful of his soreness. He made a soft noise of approval and inched forward a little to increase the contact, and I took that as an invitation to pry his lips apart with my tongue. His lips were so soft, so perfect, curvaceous and pliant against my own mouth. His tongue eagerly met mine, lapping timidly, like a curious kitten. He tasted like blood and whatever he'd had for lunch, but beneath that was something so delicious that I knew that I was probably feeding some developing unhealthy addiction of mine by continuing to kiss him. But I didn't care. I think I wanted to be addicted to him, to his honey-sweet taste.

I rolled onto my back, pulling Sora on top of me, and slid my hands smoothly down his bared arms (his uniform jacket had been discarded sometime during his mother's treatment), loving the feel of his silken skin underneath my palms. He pulled his mouth away from mine grudgingly, only to surprise me by kissing along my jaw. Oh, he could be incredibly sexy when he wanted to be. He was moving towards my neck, and I rolled my head back to present him with more skin to kiss.

"Ahh!" I gasped when he bit down, and I could feel his smirk. Damn him and his coy seductiveness.

He giggled, whispering, "Looks like Riku has a sensitive neck."

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, and fuck. I had to turn this around before he was the one getting into my pants. It was supposed to be the other way around, dammit! But…I don't think I really minded which way things went. As long as I was with Sora, everything was fine and dandy (note the cheesy understatement).

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Sora and I jumped simultaneously as his mother called, "Sora! I made some strawberries for you two!"

Sora laughed, sitting up. I did, too, and quickly transferred to his desk chair as his mom walked in, carrying a tray topped with a strawberry pyramid, two toothpicks standing proud at the top. She set it down on the end of the bed and Sora smiled at her, saying, "Thanks Mom."

She nodded. "So, what have you two been doing up here?"

I bit my lip to keep from laughing as I saw Sora blush brightly. "Nothing much," I covered for him. "Just talking."

"Oh. Well, don't let me interrupt!" she said, exiting the room as I thought dryly, Too late for that.

Sora took one of the toothpicks and speared a particularly large red berry with it, popping it into his mouth. Some of the juice dribbled down his chin, and I groaned. Already turned on from our previous making-out, this was not an image I really needed. I shook my head and reclaimed my spot on his bed, leaning in and licking the strawberry juice off of his chin. He gasped, though it came out rather muffled, as he was still trying to eat the too big berry in his mouth. Finally, he swallowed (with a bit of difficulty) and went back to eating the strawberries. I just laughed at him and joined in, taking the other toothpick and sticking it through the nearest fruit.

Once they were all good and eaten, I set the tray on Sora's desk and then returned to his bed, laying down so that my back was propped against his pillows. He crawled up beside me and snuggled into my chest, curling his arms around my waist.

"Sora, are you okay?" I asked him.

"Hm? Why?"

"I mean, from earlier. What those guys did was just…unforgivable."

"Oh, that. I'm fine," he said. "I'm used to it by now. Though, it's never been as bad as it was today. That's why I've never really had a boyfriend before; sorta hard to find one with my environment. But, a few weeks ago Kairi decided that I needed someone, so she took me to the mall, and…well…you know what happened after that…" His voice trailed off, and he let it hang. He picked his train of thought back up, saying, "Thanks for coming to the rescue today." I could hear the smile in his tone.

"Always," I told him. I blinked, realizing that the word had slipped from my lips before I could stop it, or even know that I was going to say it. Why did things like that tend to happen around Sora?

"Riku, ya know what?" he said suddenly.

"What?" I answered, chuckling at the childlike eagerness in his voice.

"I remembered this dream I had once. The name of your band—Kingdom Hearts—reminded me of it. And I think…you were in the dream."

"Me?"

"Yeah. I had it a few years ago. I think I was…thirteen, maybe fourteen." He shrugged. "But, it started as a sort of nightmare about the time that I'd almost drowned. Me and my family had taken a trip to this archipelago off the west coast called Destiny Islands. The water… Well, your eyes remind me of it. It was so beautiful and clear and deep. My grandparents are living there now. So, one morning we went out to go swimming, and I got pulled under by the current. I would've drowned if my mom hadn't saved me.

"But, about a year later, I had a nightmare about that time. In the nightmare, I was suddenly standing in the water close to shore, but there were no other vacationers out swimming or anything, like there were when we were visiting the Islands. It was just me…and this boy who was standing out a little further. I had to squint to see who he was, but when he turned around, I was caught by these amazing aqua eyes, like your eyes. And his hair was silver, too, like yours, except a little shorter. He was a little shorter, too. He was like a younger version of you.

"So, anyway, there was this huge wave building behind him, but he didn't look afraid at all. He was smirking, and he held out his hand, as if expecting me to take it. I ran out to him, but before I could grab his hand, the wave crashed over us. I fell back into the water, drifting downwards, and when I opened my eyes, I could see him floating there, still holding out his hand. I tried to swim up and grab it, but I was suddenly swept backwards by the current or something, and then I was falling. I know I was falling through the water, but it didn't feel like water. Everything was dark, and I just kept falling. Before I'd reached the bottom of wherever I was—if there even was a bottom—I woke up."

I was silent for a moment, taking in everything he'd just told me, until I finally spoke. "Wow. That was one hell of a dream."

"It was weird. When I woke up, it didn't really feel like a dream, more like a very distant memory. But I knew it had to have been a dream." He reached underneath my shirt and began tracing lazy circles across my abdomen. It tickled. "And I swear that it was you who was in it. The boy…he looked just like you. And he had the same attitude as you, the same smirk. I just…I could never understand why I couldn't take his hand. It was so odd."

"Hm." I inhaled a deep breath, my nose picking up the aroma that was just utterly Sora. We were quiet after that, and I just laid there with him curled against me. I listened to the gentle sounds of his breathing, feeling his chest rise and fall with each inhale and exhale. It was soothing, like a long-forgotten lullaby. He was warm, and he seemed to fit into my arms like he was born there. Why did everything feel so perfect when I was with him?

When I was with him, I found that I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. When I wasn't with him, he was all I could think about. At night, he was all I dreamed about. I found myself achingly disappointed waking up each morning and not finding him next to me. And we hadn't even slept together yet!

"But…you only kissed? That's a bit chaste for you. Generally it takes something a bit…more…to put you in this mood. Actually, even something a bit more wouldn't put you in this mood. You're just…you look like a love-struck teenager. You have this dreamy glaze to your eyes."

I screwed my eyes shut, wondering why something Seph said forever ago was coming to me now. And I wasn't love-struck, dammit! I'd never be "love-struck", because it was impossible to be struck with something that didn't exist. Yes, love didn't exist. It was a figment of the whimsical imagination. Nothing more.

---

I left Sora's house around six o'clock. Getting into my car, I started up the engine and pulled out of the driveway. The silence seemed oppressive suddenly. Or maybe it was just that my thoughts were trying to drive me up a wall.

So I turned on the radio.

"You're listening to Y105.6," a woman's voice informed me, followed by some stupid little jingle. The jingle was quickly replaced with a charming melody plucked out on a guitar, or harpsichord or something. It was always impossible to tell with pop techno music.

"Sometimes, the feeling is right; you fall in love for the first time.
Heartbeat, and kisses so sweet, summertime love in the moonlight.
A-yippee-ai-yay-o, a-yippee-ai-eh, a-yippee-ai-yay-o-ah."

"Now the summer is gone, you had to go back home.
Please come and see me again; I've never felt more alone."

"Baby, I am missing you—"

"I want you by my side—"

"And I hope you miss me too."

"Come back and stay."

"I think about you everyday—"

"I really want you too."

"You swept my feet right off the ground,
You're the love I've found."

I scowled, deciding then to change the station. I'd never liked that group anyway. I hit the seek button, stopping on 95.7.

"…You sexy thing and yeah you know it.
You move around, now you show it."

"I'm not in love, it's just a phase that I'm going through.
I'm always looking for something new, but—"

Okay! Enough of that. I hit the seek button again, almost desperately.

"This is E103.4," a man chirped over the speakers. "Hours of your favorite Disney classics, commercial-free!"

Disney. Disney was good. There was no way that—

"If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I've already won that.
No man is worth the aggravation; that's ancient history, been there, done that."

"Who d'ya think ya kidding? He's the Earth and Heaven to ya,
Try to keep it hidden, honey we can see right through ya,
Girl, ya can't conceal it, we know how ya feel and who you're thinking of."

"No chance, no way, I won't say it, no, no."

"You swoon, you sigh, why deny it? Uh-oh."

"It's too cliché, I won't say I'm in love."

This had to be a joke. Some sort of twisted, sick, horrible joke. There was no way—this was fucking Disney music, dammit! With a heavy sigh, I switched the station yet again. I was going to beat this thing. Those stupid little people in the radio weren't going to get the best of me!

"Can you feel it crush you? Does it seem to bring the worst in you out?
There's no running, no way from these things that hold you down.
Do they complicate you, because they make you feel like this?
Of all the colors that you've shined this is surely not you best."

"But you should know these colors that you're shining are—
Surely not the best colors that you've shined.
Surely not the best colors that you've shined."

"I know you feel alone, yeah, and no one else can figure you out,
But don't you ever turn away from the ones that help you down.
Well they'd love to save you, don't you know they love to see you smile?
But these colors that you shine are surely not your style."

"But you should know these colors that you're—"

I don't think I could even bear to listen to this song. It made my heart sink, twist into knots, as if trying to strangle itself. I flipped the station again with a despondent sigh. Some neat guitar melody filtered through the speakers, calming me somewhat. I returned my twitching hand to the steering wheel, deciding that this song, surely, wouldn't betray me.

"Desperate for changing, starving for truth,
I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you."

"I'm falling even more in love with you,
Letting go of all I've held on to.
I'm standing here until you make me move,
I'm hanging by a moment here with you."

"Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete.
I'll take your invitation, you take all of me."

"I'm falling even more in love with you,
Letting go of all—"

"Goddammit!" I shouted, furiously turning the radio off. I was immediately encased in silence that just seemed to ring, as if taunting me. I wanted to bash my head against the steering wheel, but seeing that I was fairly attached to my car, my driver's license, and (if nothing else) my life, I decided that not distracting myself with such temptations was best. At least until the car wasn't moving.

---

---

A/N: Since my first A/N was incredibly long, I decided to put the disclaimers down here. I do not own:

Doctor Jones by Aqua

Not in Love by Enrique Iglesias (feat. Kelis)

I Won't Say (I'm in Love) from the Hercules Soundtrack

Colors by Crossfade

Hanging By a Moment by Lifehouse

Review, please!