A dream. This was a dream.
At least, she was certain that it was.
Everything was blurry, like peering through obscure glass. She could perceive her surroundings, but was unable to discern them apart. Yet even so, an odd sense of familiarity flows through her as she stands motionless in place.
Her legs began to move, yet she did not order them to. Her limbs so utterly detached from her mind as if she was just a spectator in her own body. She could only watch on as she entered through a clear doorway.
The environment around her began to shrink as she passed through the door, clear walls constructed itself to each side, forcing her into a now small compact room. Ghostly white began to drip from the ceiling, painting the floors and walls in anemic wax.
Her head turns slightly to the side, a long counter erupting from the floor. Then smaller items began to pop up from its equally paled surface, scattering throughout the table.
She was so intrigued by what was happening that it took her a moment to realize someone was standing behind that very counter.
Her body seemed to hover towards them, eyes pinned onto the person. The closer she got, the more that figure began to morph and change, as different colors seeped into their bleached skin.
Finally, what erupted from it was a young girl, whose face was adorned with a wide smile that spread all the way to her eyes.
She could see her. Every crease of her skin. Every slight twitch of her movement. Every slight imperfection on her skin. They were all so clear to her eyes.
The girl's smile was wide, maybe too wide for a person to normally make, yet that did not bring discomfort to her. If anything, she was relaxed, comforted almost by their smile.
Then their lips move, seemingly to say something that her ears could not hear. It was only now did she realize that she could not hear anything, despite that however, she was certain that the girl was genuinely happy.
She was glad for that. She wanted to be able to smile like that. She wondered if she was smiling.
Her fingers lightly glazed her lips, her eyes widened in surprise of her movement. She could move by her own will now, turning her gaze down to those fingers.
All she could see was red, drenching from the tip of her fingers down to her arms.
Her mind froze, unable to properly register what she was seeing. That crimson color was everywhere, not just her hands. It plastered across the floor she stood on and the counter in front of her, an all too red color that bloodied all she could see.
Moving past the shock of the sight, her eyes haltingly turned back to the girl, yet she could not see them, their figure vanishing from thin air.
No, their body was still there.
Lying beneath her very feet, the girl's limbs limply sat beside her. Her clothes now stained with that same crimson, eyes staring directly at her.
"Why?"
She could hear those words travel out from her mouth, her body numb to its core. Perhaps that's why she only just realized that she was holding something in her hand, a black metalic shaped object, streaks of red staining its very tip.
"Why?"
She drops it, her hands trembling as she falls to her knees. The girl's eyes now became all that she could see as it peered into her very being.
She did this.
"Why?"
Her body screams.
Mei's eyes snap open, her body jumping off from where she laid. Hands gripping tightly onto the white sheets as her mouth laid agape, indigo irises rapidly darting from side to side.
She was in her bedroom.
Realizing that, she slowly calms her breathing down, each breath shorter than the last. Her grip lessens as she breathes through her nostrils, until she finally lets out a drowned out sigh.
A nightmare…
Her mind rationalized, her beating heart still audible in her ears. She tries to close her eyes, only to immediately widen them back up. She didn't want to see that face again.
No…not a nightmare.
It was a memory, horribly twisted and disfigured by her exhausted mind, yet still so utterly real to her. A reconstructed image of what she had done was now all she could think about.
The light in her eyes dimmed, hand now covering her closed lips. She pinches the top of them as her nose flares slightly.
She remembers the girl's smile. How tired yet still so joyful as they looked at her. She recalls the short but sweet conversation they both shared, one so utterly mundane yet somehow was enough to make her day. The slight fluster she gave as she scratched her cheek.
The split second as her eyes stared at her before the gun was fired, the light vanishing from them afterwards.
Mei could still hear it, the firing after the trigger, still ringing inside her ear. How utterly frozen in place she became once it happened, the only sound after was the heavy thud as their lifeless body fell to the floor.
Everything became a blur to her after, her body seemingly moving on its own. By the time she could register the passage of time again, she found herself standing inside her house, staring at the crimson stained water as it fell to the bottom of the sink.
She remembered not leaving anything for Kiana to drink then.
She kept herself distracted with the thought of the Kaslana, drowning away all the emotions that threatened to spill out of her stomach. The girl needed her then.
But she is alone now. Isolated from any company as these thoughts gnawed at her mind.
She pressed her palm tighter to her mouth, a sickness pilling up deep in her throat. She felt utterly empty inside her stomach, a void enveloping it as it ate away at her.
"…mmm.."
Light whimpers caught her attention as she snapped her head to the side. Kiana laid beside her, eyes firmly closed as she slept.
Another whimper escaped from the girl's throat as her hands began to fidget. Only then did Mei realize how cold the air was, pulling the blanket over Kiana as she moved out from the blanket.
The noises then ceased, light breathing replacing it as Kiana laid onto her pillow. Mei kept her gaze on her, eyes softened as she reached over to the girl, gently glazing her fingers over the girl's cheek.
They were soft, so soft. The sensation was so soothing to her as she began to caress it so very slowly.
Kiana looked so peaceful, the violet-haired woman then finally smiled; her eyelids fell as her arms stopped.
Mei knows what she did was wrong.
She understood that perfectly well.
No matter how just one's reasons may be. No matter how right one must feel to do so. Even if it was one's only choice.
It would never feel right when you stare into their eyes, watching as the light fades from those irises as their body falls lifelessly to the ground. It would never feel right to stand there, stained in their blood as reality sets in.
Mei knows that.
She just wished that it made it easier to accept it.
She could never take back what she had done. She could never revert time itself to change it. What's done is done, she can never redo her wrongdoings.
So she won't.
She won't beg for a chance to redo anything. To fix her horrible mistakes.
She won't ask for forgiveness from anyone or to herself.
She will not cry for another chance, a chance to make things different.
She will not wish for a different reality.
For her reality is laying right beside her.
"…Mmm, that's right." Mei mumbled, a resolute expression on her face. "I have to take care of you after all."
If it's to be with you. Just for one more day. I'll gladly become a sinner.
That is the promise that she will make to herself. A resolution and acceptance that she will never waver for anyone else.
She will accept it all, for this is who Raiden Mei has accepted to become.
Footsteps echo along the empty hallway, its pace steady and stern. Reaching the end of the long hall, their walk ceasing as blond strawberry hair flutters lightly against the cold air, arms firmly held to their sides.
Eyes peering at the sign written in front of a small doorway, the woman promptly reaches for its handle, twisting it open as she steps through.
Inside were tables laid across the compact room, atop each one sat boxes of documents, all sorted in a neat order as they pressed against the walls. She took a single glance at them before turning her eyes to the far end, a single box laid dormant by itself.
She heads for it, taking out a pair of thin gloves from her uniform's pocket. Grabbing the helm of the box, the woman recounts the events from last night.
The death of a convenient store clerk whose case was quickly deemed as a suicide by the Chief. The chance encounter of an odd yet friendly private detective, Bronya, and her words which drive her actions.
Just a few hours ago this morning, she had received a detailed report of the victim's body and clothes. In it detailed the injuries of the body sustained and the time of death, along with it were their clothing; of which immediately she picked up some incredibly strange details.
Gunshot residue was indeed found on the victim's sleeve, yet it had only stained one side of their hand and wrists, leaving the other completely devoid of any trace of it.
Either the mechanism of the gun was fired in such a peculiar way that the residue from the shot only covered half of their arm, or someone else had held a gun right up to their heads as they pulled the trigger, then planted it to look like a suicide.
She chose to believe the latter.
But believing was not a good enough basis for suspicions, which is why she was here now, searching through the victim's belongings that was found on their uniform. To find something that could solidify her belief into something more tangible and real, a clue that would reveal the existence of a culprit.
Fortunately, she had a lead, given by the very same woman she met only last night, yet had left a firm impression in her mind. That lead being the existence of a potential stalker turned killer.
And so she digs, her eyes scanning and looking through every item inside the box as she finds anything of note. Something that will firmly establish the existence of this stalker beyond just words.
She reached the bottom, finding only one thing left to inspect. She held the object up to her eyes, the small lightbulb above illuminating the object. It was a small black square leather object, a clip attached to its side, barely heavier than a pen. She looked at it for a moment before quickly unclipping the leather case, revealing something inside.
With a tight grip onto the edge, she pulls the item inside out, her eyes widen upon seeing the thing in her hand.
It was a small journal, a name written on the cover. The victim's name. She flips it open, the pages fluttering against her fingers from the sudden motion. Slowing down as it stops on a random page, the woman skims through the words written inside.
"…A diary." She muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.
Dates were written on top of the page, with notes just below it. Some detailing very miscellaneous things while others being events that happened on that day. It was less of a diary but more of bullet notes of events, but she didn't care about the specifics right now.
The woman took a deep breath before narrowing her eyes onto the journal. She first must find any mentions of this stalker, recent or not. Flipping all the way to the end, she found the most recent date written was just shy of a day ago, meaning that nothing was written about the day before. Unfortunate, but she continues regardless, retracing the dates backwards as she looks for anything relating to the stalker.
However, the more she flips through, the more her enthusiasm begins to drain away. Replacing it was slight confusion as she began to question whether she had misread some parts or not. But alas, even as she went through nearly a whole month, she was only left bewildered.
There was absolutely no mention of this stalker, nor any notes detailing the victim's feelings of being followed. She tried to rationalize that maybe they didn't write it down because they might not deemed it all that noteworthy, but that made no sense. If they didn't think that the possibility of them being stalked was something substantial, then what is?
She shook her head. Now was not the time to be doubting. Yet she couldn't help but let out a sigh upon the prospects of running into a corner while flipping back to another page. Regardless, she continued reading.
Her eyes skim through the contents of another page, the day dating back to little over three weeks ago. As her eyes reached towards the end, she began reading through the last few lines before preparing to flip to another page.
Her hand immediately froze as her eyes stopped dead in its place. A second passed by before those deep blue irises widened.
This…This is-
"Miss Durandal?"
"Ah!"
Durandal's body snaps back as her eyes dart towards the entrance. Standing in front of the open door was a woman whose eyes stared back at her; a deep rosemary color reflected in those pupils.
"…Rita..." Realizing who it was, she muttered, her voice distant.
The woman gave Durandal an odd look before approaching her. A complicated expression became more visible to her.
"What is it?" Durandal asked, her jaw trembling much to her own confusion.
"Your hands..." The woman responds in a worried tone.
Her eyes widened upon hearing that, turning her gaze down to her arms. It was trembling, her fingers growing looser each second.
Her grip immediately tightens, trembling be damned. Her hands clasped tightly around the journal, as if fearing that if she were to lose her grip for just a moment, the object would vanish from her grasps.
Suddenly, another pair of hands clasped onto hers, gently caressing her fingers as it held onto her. Durandal lifts her gaze, finding Rita standing just inches away from her.
"Are you okay?" The woman asked in a gentle tone, tenderness etched into her every word. It was comforting to hear, soothing the raging heartbeat that seemed to pound against her chest.
"I-" She stammered, finding herself breathless.
"Just breathe."
Durandal listens, closing her eyes as she breathes through her nose. In and out. Slow and steady. Each breath calmer than the last before it returned to a regular pace.
"…Thank you, Rita." She uttered, letting out a quick sigh as she reopened her eyes.
"There is no need." Rita responds, fixing her gaze onto both their hands. "May I?"
Durandal hesitates for a moment before nodding, the grip she has on the journal lessens. Placing it into the woman's palm, making sure she did not flip to another page by mistake, Durandal then lets go.
Rita promptly turns her gaze into the journal, eyes darting slowly from side to side. They then widen slightly before lifting back up.
"Could this be?" Her voice was filled with genuine surprise. Durandal simply nods.
"I see..." Rita's lips then twirls into a small smile.
"I am glad then."
Durandal shares a smile with her, a relief washing over her face. This was reality.
She wasn't certain if she should even feel this way, for all she could assume what she had found was completely non-relevant. That the slight glimmer of hope that brought such levity to her soul was simply her mind trying to accept something too good to be true.
Even so, she chose to believe in that glimmer, for a reality that is otherwise would be far too cruel to her heart.
"I should notify our division then."
"Ah, wait." Durandal said, staring into Rita's eyes. "I'll handle this."
"By yourself?"
"Yes, I have to.."
She couldn't drag them into this anymore, not when she now realizes just how destructive her actions have caused for others. She has a lead, and that itself is more than enough for her.
"I have been troubling you all too much. This time, I will do it alone."
She turned her gaze away from the woman, finding these words difficult to say directly to her face. Silence then followed suit, before a sharp pain penetrated from the top of her head. Durandal yelps, turning her head back to look at Rita whose arm was outstretched above her head.
"Um…what was that for?"
"To knock some sense back into you. Did it work?"
"I..don't know?"
"Then let me make it clearer to you. With all due respect Miss Durandal, I disagree with your statement." She lets out a huff before lowering her arm, eyes narrowing towards Durandal.
"Our division follows your orders, your lead. They believe in your actions and words more than anyone else because you gave them someone to believe in. To give me something to believe in."
Rita softens her gaze at those words, her voice still firm, yet it was also more soothing than before.
"Please do not feel like you have to be sorry for your actions, Durandal. None of us would be here if it weren't for you."
"I-"
She couldn't say another word, her mind unable to come up with anything to say back. How could she? She understood what Rita meant by those very words, yet a part of her still felt wrong.
She wanted to deny that she did nothing to them. That what she has done was only the bare minimum.
Yet reality isn't like that, especially for one as cruel and unforgiving as this one.
She could not say sorry for it will only sully their actions. She could not feel sorry for it will only make their past actions feel like a mistake. So what can she do?
"You don't have to apologize for every single thing you have done."
…Ah.
Was that what she meant…
"...Thank you, Rita."
Durandal simply smiles at her, surprising the woman.
She can't change her actions, for if she did, the people around her today would likely never exist. Even if the role she had taken on was not what she wanted to be nor what she asked to become, Rita would not be here beside her if she hadn't done what she did.
Then I mustn't be sorry.
She will be more careful and thoughtful of her actions, but she won't feel sorry for what she has done. Reality is not what she had hoped for it to be, and she accepts that. She will make the most out of it.
Starting with this.
"But I still want to do this alone. But if it makes you feel better, I have someone to help me."
"Oh? And may I ask who that person may be?"
"Someone I met last night. They were the one that gave me thought to check this and find out if-"
Durandal paused. Placing a hand to her chin as Rita stared at her puzzled, she then raised her voice again.
"Do you have the details of the case yesterday?"
"Of course?"
"Then can you help me find any contacts of their relatives?"
"I can do that, but for what purpose would this be?"
"I-" she hesitates, grabbing the journal from Rita's hand, "-I want to ask them about somethings."
"I see, then I shall get on with it." The rosemary-eyed woman then turns her back as she walks towards the doorway. Her eyes glanced back briefly at Durandal.
"What will you be doing?" Rita asked.
Durandal looks back onto her for a moment, a serious gleam emanating from her pupils.
"I'm going to meet someone."
"-and that's roughly what happened."
Bronya's voice lightly echoes throughout the living room, a phone held in her hand. Her eyes fixated onto the small notebook on her table, fingers turning the pages every so often.
On the other side of the phone, a familiar woman's voice hums.
[What are you going to do now then, Bronya-san?] They spoke with a gentle tone.
"Waiting. If nothing ultimately comes up, I'll head back there and ask around again." She eyed the notes she had written, the tip of her finger lightly tapping against the thin sheet.
Even if the other person ends up not contacting her, she wouldn't exactly be empty handed.
Whoever the culprit was had chosen this store for a reason. One of those reasons being how secluded the entire neighborhood was to the rest. She had found it odd why this particular street was picked so before she went home, she dug around a little bit.
Turns out that web like of a distinct was even more like a maze than she had realized. The only way into that neighborhood was also the only way out, both directions directly leading out of Nagazora and onto another road. A perfect way to get away from the crime scene as quickly as possible without attracting too much attention to the locals.
Coupled with no surveillance around that entire arena, if someone were to vanish there, nobody would even know.
Of course, even with all that thought out, they couldn't completely hide away from people. There will still be an eyewitness or two, but that would be enough to make all the difference.
Bronya thought she had finally found one of those people, before finding them murdered in their own store.
But I don't get it.
Taking out the only witness that could potentially give away your identity was an obvious thing to do. If this killer was the exact same one that kidnapped Kiana Kaslana, then why would they allow that store clerk to stay alive for so long after the incident? Was it to lower the chances of two separate cases being connected to one another?
Bronya might have believed that to be the case. If the murder didn't happen on the exact same day that she decided to look further into this. A coincidence so incredibly time-sensitive it seemed like an act of god.
So why?
Bronya closes her eyes, her mind fixated on this very question, the sound of light tapping and humming being the only encompassing noise in the silence. Time ticked by as she laid perfectly still, before something sparked in her mind.
There was another element to this puzzle.
The time that it happened.
There is a chance that this was an extremely unfortunate coincidence, that she was simply one step too late. But to entertain the thought that it wasn't, then quickly things start to click together.
The same day, the same time she decided to go out. It was as if the killer themselves knew what her intentions were and where she would be going. As if this very murder was only put into action when she decided to head out last night. The answer was simple.
She was being followed.
By who?
The only person that knew about her involvement in this was Seele. She only gave Mei a fabricated lie, so there was no way she would know anything more than just that. Her friend was never one to read the news after all.
Then who could it be? Someone who had been observing her without her knowledge, who somehow knows about her involvement and acts accordingly to her actions.
Someone…
The cogs in Bronya's head continue to turn and turn, images flooding back into her mind. Reconstructing itself from fragmented pieces, gluing itself back to form a clear picture that she had long kept hidden deep in the back of her head. An image that she had made sure to seer deeply into her very brain, reminding her of the emotions she had harbored and kept deep inside to this day.
The putrid smell of the damp wet floor. The taste of iron swirling in her mouth. The dilapidated walls encasing every side. The blinding light that burned into her skin.
A figure sitting in the middle of it all, their face fading through their hair.
Bronya's fingers laid frozen against thin paper, body in utter stillness. Her jaw tightens as she clasps her teeth against one another. Gray irises lose all of its gleam, leaving an ice cold glare.
[Bronya?]
The gentle voice of the woman on the phone snaps her mind back into reality. The light in her eyes return slightly, eyelids narrowing as she leans her ears into the phone.
"Sorry, got lost in my thoughts." Bronya muttered, her voice nonchalantly rang through the room.
For just a brief moment, her eyes rapidly glance around her surroundings before shutting.
I wonder if they are listening to me right now.
[Oh, I see..] The woman's voice seemed to trail off as Bronya brought her attention back to her.
"Something on your mind?"
[It's..about the officer you met last night, Durandal Kaslana. I wonder whether it was right to hide your involvement in this matter from her.]
Bronya hummed in response, raising her head slightly. Seele's concern was valid, it definitely felt wrong to keep the woman, especially knowing that she's Kiana's sister in the dark like this, but the silver-haired woman figured it was the best course of action for now.
For if the culprit was really them, Bronya would not want to drag her in any further.
"I'll tell her the truth eventually, don't worry."
Durandal Kaslana. She hadn't expected the woman to be such a character, though she hadn't expected to meet her on that day as well.
From the little images and words that she could find about the woman, it gave her a sense that she was a very serious and reserved person. The fact that nobody even knows much about her was proof of that.
And yet, Durandal was nothing like that. She still had presence to her and those in the force seemed to greatly respect and admired her, but the image Bronya had subconsciously built up in her mind was very different from reality.
The real Durandal seemed to keep her emotions on her sleeve, kept at bay purely through a dignified mask that she upholds diligently. Her demeanor and actions were gentle, almost to a fault, yet held a firmness to them that one could not help but be enraptured by it.
Someone who treated others with the most respect she could give while never asking for one in return. One whose will remains unbroken even as others try to hold them down. All admirable traits, yet what truly captured Bronya's interest in the woman, was her capacity to look at her with not pity or a sense of power, but with a gentleness and care for the people she sees.
A kind heart.
She reminds me of her.
Bronya breathes, the corner of her mouth slightly twitching. She gazed towards the ceiling, eyes closed shut as she suppressed her voice.
Another minute passes before she throws her head back down, a sigh leaving her chest. Her irises gleamed with insurmountable pain and grief, only known to herself.
Bronya questions if that person ever truly realized how she had felt, a thought that quickly faded from her mind like the wind that blows gently through the autumn leaves.
[…by the way, Bronya-san..]
"…Hmm?" Bronya hums, pushing away her thoughts for a moment.
I should stop remembering it.
[Liliya has been eating again lately. She seems to have finally come back to her senses.]
"Oh, that's great then."
[Mhm, if she keeps this up she'll recover in no time. And so, um, when she does..] The girl began to stutter over her words.
"When she does?"
[..when she does, would you like to see her? She would be glad to see your face again, both of them will.]
"That's so."
[Yeah! So um, when the time comes, you should come visit-]
"I already told you no, Seele."
Bronya answered, a sharpness in her voice that immediately made the girl freeze.
"I am never going back. So stop bringing it back up."
[…Right…]
"…I'm sorry." Bronya sighs, rubbing her temple as she calms herself down. She hated how easily she gets worked up by simply talking to her, but that's how it is now. The past still clings far too heavily around the girl for Bronya to simply forget.
Besides, it was better this way anyways.
"I doubt the twins would want to see me again. Not after the fiasco I caused by up and leaving."
Bronya tries to joke, her voice far too dry for it to even pass off as mildly hilarious. Was it even considered humor? She had no clue.
[…]
She couldn't hear the girl's voice anymore, an awkward silence melting into the foreground. By the time Bronya was really beginning to regret her choice of words, her phone began to ring loudly against her ear.
She looks at the glassy screen before her eyes widen.
"…I'll have to end the call now," she said quickly, barely able to hear a surprised yelp from the girl, "see you tomorrow."
[Eh? Wai-!]
Beep
The call ended as a new one took its place. Bringing the phone back up to her ear, Bronya spoke.
"Hey there, called back so early?"
[It's me-Oh. How.. did you know it was me?] A mature voice resounded through the phone, surprise etched in their voice.
"Not important, not important. Did you have something to share with me?"
[I think that's worth some merit of an explanation but..alright. Yes, I did find something.]
Bronya reaches over to the table, her notebook sprawled open as she readies a pen in her hand.
[I was able to get a detailed report on the gunshot residue on the victim's clothes. True to your suspicions, the marks left by the residue was incredibly abnormal, which I believe is the result of a murder disguised as a suicide.]
"Oooh, interesting." Bronya hummed.
[Y-yes? I suppose it is. That would explain the odd blood smear on the floor. The killer must have attempted to place the gun into their hands in a way that is as inconspicuous as possible, but few traces still remained from that act.]
"Who would do such a thing?"
[No visual evidence has been recovered so no. However, one of the things found on the victim's clothes was a small journal, which judging from its contents, was used as a diary of some sorts.]
"Eeeeh, really now?"
[...Yes. Um, is this might be a bad time fo-]
"No no, keep gooooing." Bronya's voice loudly through her room, an odd cheerfulness etched into her tone.
[Oh, alright…Well, I found something that might prove to be a potential lead for us. I would like to discuss it with you further directly.]
"A hangout? Sounds fun, where are we going?"
[I'll send you the address then…I'm not quite sure what you are doing but I won't question it. I need to inquire with you about some things as well once you get there.]
"Right right, I'll bring something for us to eat!"
With that, Bronya ends the call, slumping back into her chair. Her eyes look through her room, trying to spot anything out of the usual.
She then stood up and headed towards the closet, picking out the most casual clothing she had before putting them on.
Hopefully, she was able to mask the conversation as something not as important as it really was. She wasn't entirely sure if she was being listened to or not, but if she was, this was the best course of action to throw them off.
If she was being followed, then she will just have to make it harder for them to.
Ironically, her lie of a "stalker" turns out to be true, only it is directed to her. Regardless, she began to head out, turning to look at her room one last time.
She's going to find those damn audio chips when she comes back.
Click
Seele stood in silence, hand still pressing the phone to her ear. Her arms slowly move the phone towards her eyes, seeing nothing but her own reflection through a black screen.
She plants her forehead onto the phone, an audible sigh echoing from her thin lips.
"…Idiot."
Whispers meant only for herself, closing her eyes as she bit down onto her lower lips.
When she first met Bronya again after so long, she thought she had grown. She could look at her in the eyes and say what she wanted to say, to express just how dire the situation Liliya was in.
She felt like things could be different after so much time had passed.
And yet, why did her breath hitch whenever the silver-haired woman raises her voice? Why is it that she diverts her eyes away even when she can't see her? Why is it that she's so utterly frustrated with herself when she can't say anything more?
Afraid. She was afraid of Bronya.
She had noticed how much different Bronya had grown. Her silver gray hair she used to twirl and hang on her sides were now tied into one ponytail. Her lips fuller and plump, each word spoken was almost hypnotic to Seele.
Yet Seele could still recognize her. She could still see the Bronya of her past, blurring between her current self and one long ago. Her voice brought back memories she so dearly held close to her heart as she gazed into her eyes.
The kind and sweet little girl. The straightforward and blunt to a fault big sister. The always caring and always protective family member.
Her loving Bronya whom she so wishes to be with for the rest of her life.
Seele saw none of that in the woman's eyes.
Sharp and cold. Distant and vague. Those were the emotions she gauged from her gaze alone, silver gray irises that expressed just a hint of inner pain whenever they would lay eyes on Seele, and the subsequent flash of anger pilling up inside those pupils.
The fire that seemed to burn ever so brightly, never dimming even as time itself has molded and altered her being. One that only be stoked higher upon looking at Seele.
The very same gaze she had given her on the day she left.
Seele bit onto her lips, eyes squinting. She could still hear those words, ones that forever haunted her mind, spoken by the one person that had shielded her from those very words.
The marks left by their hands still felt so present, a stain that could never be removed. One that reminded her every single moment for the rest of her life just how unmendable everything truly was, no matter how long time passes.
Seele couldn't understand. She can't understand. It was all so sudden, so quick, so short.
Her world ended around her in just a moment, when she herself could not understand what she had done to cause it. And now she is living a world without light, one born from her own ignorance of what had occurred.
And yet Seele did not have the will to ask why. She had not the strength to quell the aching pain that burns away at her heart day after day, weeks after weeks, months after months, year after every agonizing year. Not a single courage that she could muster to even look Bronya in the eyes.
Because she felt she had no right to.
Because she was weak.
Because she was pathetic.
Because she always needed someone to take the pain for her instead of taking it herself.
Seele knew this. She has known herself so very well, yet all she did was hide behind a mask. Until that mask was inevitably shattered and torn down by the one she had used it the most.
And to think she was now imitating that very same person.
She was utterly disgusting, pure filth given form. To think that she could replace someone was so arrogant of her.
And yet she couldn't even do that right. She had broken down in front of Liliya, the one person that would ever need her to do so.
Her eyes couldn't see through all the tears. Her chest tightened with the sheer struggle of trying to breathe. Her stomach sickened to the core as she felt the girl's frail and so painfully thin arms wrapped around her.
None of that was right. Liliya shouldn't have been the one to comfort her.
She can't bear to live in this place anymore, let alone to stay near the girl. Not when she can't even do anything right. Not when everything she tries to do only comes out completely half-measured like herself, so utterly meaningless in its efforts.
She meant nothing.
What was even the point of her?
"Calling Bronya I'm assuming?"
"….oh."
Seele lifts her head back up, eyes trailing towards the door. Standing in front of the open doorway was Rozaliya, her long pink hair hanging freely in the air.
The girl's eyes narrowed slightly as she stared at Seele, whose unable to even muster up a fake smile.
"...It was, but it ended." She responds, any emotions utterly drained from her voice. "What are you doing here?"
"Picking out some clothes for Liliya."
"I thought you already did?"
"Not enough."
"Alright."
Rozaliya then remained silent, turning her eyes away as she walked over to the counter beside them. A mirror placed against the wall where the girl stood, her arms reaching into one of the drawers filled with clothes stacked neatly on top of one another.
"What were you two talking about?" The girl suddenly asked.
"Just how she was doing today and the weather."
"Really?"
"Mhm."
Neither said anything else after, their conversation so utterly short and devoid of any substance that it made the silence that befell onto them so much more awkward.
Seele didn't think about trying to say anything more. She didn't bother. Instead she simply walks.
Walking past Rozaliya and subsequently Liliya, her existence so unneeded be either of them.
Walking past Bronya, whose eyes could only express pain when they looked at her pathetic self.
Walking past herself, a nothing of a being.
"Where do you think you're going?" Rozaliya raised her voice, her figure slightly blocking the doorway.
"Somewhere." Seele said with not a hint of emotion behind them.
"Then go to Liliya's room then."
"Mmm."
"She needs you."
"Mmmm."
Seele's arm was then suddenly tugged by the side, spinning her body towards Rozaliya. The girl's eyes glaring directly towards her.
"Stop with that response." Her voice loud and clear, an intensity present in her tone. "You were trying to ask Bronya to come visit us, weren't you?"
"…So you did hear."
"You're trying to place responsibilities onto Bronya again. Just like how you always do."
"You're right."
"Why?"
"Because she's the one that's helping Liliya."
"Help what? She hasn't even talked to anyone but you."
"She's doing this for her."
"She's not here to tell Liliya that, is she? You are."
"What about me?"
"Haah?" Rozaliya glare seemed to intensify for a moment, before it was replaced with a stun look.
Seele was smiling.
She understands better than anyone. She knows more than anyone. This was the natural way it was going to go. She had accepted that reality now.
"I was never needed here."
All that emotion, all that hatred, all that acceptance channeled into those simple words, spoken towards the girl yet it was only directed to her.
"…"
The girl could only keep her gaze locked onto Seele, lips held tightly as she spoke of nothing. Eventually, her eyes break away from Seeles, her bangs covering her eyes as she turns her head to the side; loosening the grip on her arm.
Her smile forever remains on her lips as she begins to walk away.
"She came back for you."
Rozaliya's voice suddenly rang out once more.
"Liliya told me that. Even when she could barely move or talk or even eat, even as I begged her to not push herself to, she wanted me to hear this. Do you know why?"
"…."
"She felt so sorry for doing what she did. For closing herself off from her family. But what she was truly sorry for was what her state had done to you." Her voice grew hoarse as she said. "Liliya didn't come back because of Bronya. She came back because she couldn't bear to see her big sister cry."
"…Rozaliya-"
Before Seele could speak another word, the girl immediately bolted out of the room. Her bangs fluttered against her eyes as she saw, just for a brief moment, her teeth gritted against one another as she disappeared from the room.
Seele stood motionless, arm outstretched towards the opened doorway. Her smile is gone as her eyes slowly move towards the drawer, finding it still filled with clothes, untouched.
Her lips slightly parted as she lowered her arm to her side, eyes still looking on towards the drawer.
"…Because I cried?"
Those words left her mouth as a whisper, before silence overtook the air once more.
Where am I?
Her eyes stared into broken concrete, its texture grayish with hints of green scattered throughout its dilapidated structure.
The floors are the same color, dust and ash covering many places as far as her eyes can see. She felt a strange sense of familiarity, almost deja-vu-like.
Was this a dream?
Maybe, but a part of her can't seem to shake away that nostalgic feeling. Her mind is trying to connect these feelings to a memory that doesn't seem to exist.
It took her a while for her to realize she was laying sideways, her head resting against something soft. She turns her head slightly, eyes lifting upwards as she sees a woman's face. Their violet hair obscured their facial features, leaving only their lips visible through their hair, yet that was enough to bring about a multitude of emotions within her.
Confusion, curiosity, even anxiousness and slight unease. Yet as the woman's lips twirl upwards into a gentle smile, all those emotions seem to fade away, leaving only one remain as she gazes at her.
Love.
A smile so comforting that it made all the doubts in her mind fade away, completely content with the sight before her. The woman felt so familiar to her, like a part of her past, present and future that she could never forget, yet she can't seem to recall why.
She smiled back at the woman, hoping that hers were just as gentle and comforting as the one above her. She wanted this moment to last forever.
Her eyes felt heavier as she slowly closed them, the woman's smile still lingering in her quickly darkening vision. For a moment, she saw their lips move, just barely enough to make out what those words must have been.
"Good morning, Kiana."
Her eyes flutter awake, light blue irises staring at an empty spot next to her. Feeling an invading cold swept into the warm blanket kept her eyes from falling back into slumber as her mind slowly churn.
Pushing herself up from the soft embrace of the bed, a numbness spread across her neck as she gently nudged her head downwards. Letting the blood flow back into her veins, her eyes shifted towards the end of the bed frame and further along the floor.
Her gaze then laid upon a pair of naked legs, gently swaying across the white tiled floor. Trailing her eyes upwards, noting their distinct violet hair swaying silently with their back turned against her.
Her breath hitched for a moment as she instantly recognized the woman, her fingers instinctively tense up for a moment. But that nervousness suddenly dissolves, in its place was something much different.
She held her gaze, an odd sense of nostalgia washing over her. As if she had seen something similar just minutes ago. Yet try as she might, she couldn't remember why that is, her mine coming up blanks as she continued staring at them longingly.
Minutes pass on by as she continues to watch them. Their body is covered only by their long hair and white shirt, its sleeves intertwined with their arms as it shifts along the air.
Their legs gently raised as they slip on long black stockings, back bent down slightly, causing their shirt to press against their back as it pulls upwards, revealing only dark panties covering their lower half.
Her movements seemed to slow down dramatically as she put those on, holding her posture steady for almost a minute before raising back up again.
With their stockings properly slipped on, they then move onto the closet next to them, head turning slightly. The woman seemed to ponder something for a while before gripping onto a long dark blue work skirt.
They slowly put them on, back still fully turned towards Kiana. Once done, their head slowly turns back, indigo eyes meeting blue ones.
Her lips then twirl into a smile.
"Enjoyed the show?" Mei asked with a playful tone.
Kiana flinched at that question, her mind only now just catching up to her as she realized how fixated her gaze were onto the woman. She snaps her head to the side, mouth closed shut.
Mei only chuckled towards her reaction, twisting her body towards the closet.
"I was kidding, you slept so peacefully I couldn't bare to wake you up." Her hands rummaged through the opened closet as she spoke. "Glad you woke up just in time though."
"...In time for…what?" Kiana brings herself to ask at the woman's statement.
"In time to wave me goodbye for work of course." Mei then pulls out a single shirt, along with blue short pants. She promptly brings them over to Kiana; who swiftly covers her naked form with the blanket, and places them down onto the sheets.
"I'll go fetch something for you to eat." She said before walking away towards the other side of the room, a table situated neatly against one of the walls.
"…you're going to work?" Kiana asked, eyes fixated onto Mei's form.
"I am, even if I am going to be a little later than usual." The violet-haired woman began to fidget the items laid on the table, a cooker plugged in beside her. "Although it is tempting to stay at home with you all day, I can't quit my job when I have you to take care of."
"Mmm…"
"Do you want me to?"
"Huh?" Kiana yelps, sweats forming on her cheek.
"Just kidding~" Mei smiles, before returning her focus back to the table. An audible hum began to emanate from her however as she seemed to sing a tune of sorts.
Kiana sighs, turning her gaze back onto the bed. She promptly picks up the pants before slowly slipping them on under the blanket. Moving onto the shirt, she loops one of her into its sleeve as she pulls the shirt over her head and down her chest. The cloth glazing across her skin was a bit uncomfortable, side effects of being bare naked for a whole day, but she still pushed on regardless.
With a quick tug, the shirt fully falls down to her waist, her head popping out from the opening. Fixing her hair, she then glanced over to where the woman was standing.
Only to find Mei standing right next to her with a small tray in her hands.
Kiana's body jumps to the other side upon laying eyes on the woman, arms held tightly to her sides as she stares at her.
"Sorry for scaring you, I thought you heard me," Mei said with a surprised expression.
"…I didn't hear you at all."
"Well, my friend says I am awfully silent with my footsteps. I suppose she isn't wrong in that statement." Mei then winks before laying the small tray down on the bed, a single plate sat atop of it.
It was rice curry.
Kiana stares at the dish, recalling a not too distant memory of the last time she was given that same meal. She glanced to the side, seeing Mei standing perfectly still looking at her.
She weighs her options, before reluctantly moving closer to the curry tray, picking up a spoonful of it. It was lightly steaming as she held it closer to her mouth as she gently blew it.
"How is it?" Mei asked, her indigo eyes staring intently at her eating.
"...It's sweet and..nice." Kiana answered, eyes darting towards the other side of the bed.
The violet-haired woman only gave a wide smile at her comment, letting out a relieved sigh. Her cheeks slightly reddened as she walked to the small table on the bedside.
"I'll be gone till evening, so I made extra that I put in the cooker for you."
"..."
"Oh, and there's plenty of clothes in the closet if you want to wear something different. Just take a look for yourself." Putting on her wristwatch, she turns back towards Kiana.
"...Mmm."
"And one more thing~"
"...Aah!"
Before Kiana could react, she felt her chin tugged to the side as plump lips pressed against her cheek. Her mind froze as she felt a slight dampness spread across a small area on her cheek, Mei's lips pulling away as she let out a laugh.
"I always wanted to do that," She said through her blushes, before standing back and heading towards the doorway.
"I'll be going now, be a good girl and wait for me, Kiana-chan~"
With those last parting words, the woman promptly heads out through the doorway, gently closing it shut as an audible click resounds from the door handle.
Echoing footsteps came from beyond the doorway, quickly fading away with each audible step. Kiana waits until it becomes nothing but a distant noise, before letting out a drawn out sigh.
…Strange.
She clenches her hand over and over, her shoulders slumped a little. She felt it easier to breathe than before, letting her limbs stretch out a bit. She felt more relaxed, that was easier enough to understand.
What isn't is the lack of urgency in herself. She was nervous around Mei to a degree, yes, even slight unease, but those feelings weren't nearly as intense as it once was just days ago.
Kiana felt nervous, but she was alright to have Mei wander around near her. She felt uneasy, but she was still willing to let the woman come near her. Even as she felt Mei's lips press against her cheek, she was more surprised and shocked by the act than anything else.
She raises her arms to her cheek, glazing her fingers against the place where the kiss was planted. It was still slightly damp.
This uneasy comfortness she felt around that woman. The nervousness as if she was just talking to someone she didn't quite know rather than someone who had imprisoned her in their own home. The nonchalant reactions Kiana had given to the violet-haired woman.
All of this was so utterly strange and disturbing to her.
She presses her palm up to her cheek, eyes peering down to the bed.
Is something wrong with me?
She imagined Mei's face. Her genuine smile whenever she would gaze at Kiana. Her soft chuckles whenever she found something amusing. Her heartfelt laughter and excitement she expresses to her on occasions.
Her utter terror from what happened and overwhelming relief when she hugged Kiana last night.
No matter how hard she tried to muster up anything, the Kaslana simply could not muster the anger or fear she once honored. Even though she was trembling in place whenever she would lay her eyes upon that woman just days ago, now she could barely muster a visible reaction whenever Mei would get up close to her.
Kiana wasn't fearful around her anymore. She can't muster up the same animosity she once harbored towards her nor could she keep her eyes on her without feeling anxious about staring at her face.
It didn't help that a part of her found the woman to be so…familiar. Like someone she once knew, or had known? Like a memory of someone close that she could no longer recall no matter how hard she tries.
She wonders if she was going insane at this point. She wouldn't be surprised if this was the case. But until she knows for sure, Kiana decides to focus on one thing for now.
Getting out of here.
A part of her was glad that she still very much felt the urge to do so, at least her mind wasn't completely gone out the window. And so long as that's the case, she will use that fact to her advantage.
I really do sound crazy.
She almost smiled at that statement, one that is equally disturbing yet also not far from the truth.
With a hum, Kiana picks up the spoon again as she eats the curry, her pace seeming to quicken. She will have time to think over what to do, for now, she needs to fill her stomach with something after running on empty for days.
She didn't lie about the taste, it really was tasty.
AN: A little over a month I know, but hey! It's finally here! Things have been especially rough for me these past few weeks so I wasn't able to really focus on writing this chapter, but I'm glad to at least be a tiny bit consistent with my schedule.
Anyhow, with Rita being introduced in this chapter, that marks the end of the named cast. From this point on no more characters will be introduced! Otherwise this story will get even more bloated than it already is hah!
I hope that I'm able to properly portray each character in this chapter in a way that is natural while also interesting in their own rights. It's hard keeping balance between so many, but I hope I just barely managed to while still keeping the story going at a decent pace.
In any case, that's all from me, see y'all in the next chapter!
P.S: I may have gone a little overboard with all these vague hints at character's past and such, but hey! Gotta find something to enjoy myself with it heh.