Chances in Life

XO'MagickMoon'OX

.Chapter XII. Axel's Secret

A/N: Thank you, as usual, to all of my lovely reviewers! -blows kisses-

AbnormallyWeirdPerson: XD I like the idea of make-up artist!Riku, too. Maybe I'll write a story about that sometime...or maybe you should! And yes, Sora's dad did seem a little suspicious of Riku, but I guess that's just how his character is. It does make you think though, whether or not his parents suspect something. Do they? Who knows! Oh, wait... I know! Mwahaha...but no one shall find out 'til...latah. Anyway, bodybuilders are very scary. And weird-looking. I always want to know why anyone would want to look like...that. -shudders- Oh yes! That's why I love seme!Sora... 'cause I love seeing the stereotypical seme all vulnerable and at the mercy of the stereotypical uke. Hehehe... I sound so demented right now. Moving on. Hahah, yes there was a wet dream...but, not the one we yaoi fangirls think of. XD I almost found a place to put that wet dream scene in, though, but I think I lost it. T.T Ah well. Yup, the people in the Disney song were the Muses. Gotta love those Greek Gospel Muses. :D Greek and Gospel isn't supposed to work together, but Disney makes it happen. 'Cause they're amazing like that.

-Zeida-and-Maria-: Well, if the title of the chapter doesn't already tell you, here is where you find out about Axel and Roxas. :D Everyone cheer! Hahaha...hah...ahem, anyway. And again, sorry I kept forgetting to answer your question about Sora. You got the PM, right?

RMSTitanic89: I love your idea about Kairi and her boyfriend, but...sadly, this story is quickly drawing to a close and I don't think I'll be able to fit it in. -laments- It was still a great idea, though. :D I don't even know if I'll be able to fit Kairi's boyfriend-to-be it, with all the drama to come with Sora and Riku in the next few chapters. Gomen.

RainbowSerenity: -munches on cookie- Thanks for the snacks! And I'm glad my chapter made your day better. It makes my heart happy to think that my writing, even if it's not the best, helps my readers somehow. :D Hehe, that's funny about the parent questioning, thing. So I guess you could empathize with Riku, ne? Haha, I always forget my dreams, too. But, for Sora, this was just one of those dreams that stick in your memory, ya know? I think I have a few of those; some of them are from when I was in elementary school! And I still remember them somehow. And, it's okay, -whispers- I'm a spaz too. 8D Yay for spazzing! And, it's funny you should mention Kairi getting to watch Sora and Riku again. -shifty eyes- I think I just gave something away. Oh well. Enjoy the chapter!

The Glass Slipper: :D I give notes to my readers that are patient enough to leave long and (if nothing else) thorough reviews, something more than "Awesome, update soon!" So, I suspect you'll continue to get notes:) I'm glad you find my story believable! It means I'm doing at least something right, ne? I really like the line about Riku waking up and being disappointed at not finding Sora next to him, too! So I'm very happy that you acknowledged it. Methinks it was my favorite line in that chapter; there was just something bittersweet about it, and (as you might already suspect) I love bittersweet.

Anon19: "But seriously, chapter 10, Marluxia beating up Sora for being gay? XD" Hehe, you're right. ...Maybe Marly's hiding something, ne? Haha, or maybe not. But really, the Nature-controlling Org. XIII Member with the Pink Scythe of Flowery Death is most definitely gay, I agree. I just...needed an antagonist, and well, he and Sora did fight in CoM... ah, but whatever. That comment just made me laugh and nod my head. XD Moving on! And as for your suspicions with Axel, well, as the chapter title suggests, you'll find out here:D Oh the suspense!... -crickets chirp- Or not. And I agree: homophobes are most definitely irksome (like the freakin' President of America GAH!) And as for the OT...I haven't exactly read the Bible from cover to cover, but it does sound extremely contradictory; but then again, what isn't in this world? It does make you wonder though, what exactly Christians are supposed to believe. Well, I guess as long as we've all got the main message (like good ol' Sora) then everything's fine and dandy. Hmm, I see Wakka and Kairi paired a lot, too, but alas, as I told RMSTitanic89 I don't think I'm gonna get to fit any boyfriend for Kairi in. -sighs- Ah well. This is a RikuxSora fic, after all. ;)

Kagome1514: Yes, I hate Hip-Hop, Rap, etc, too. Ergo, Riku hates it. You're right; it just doesn't seem like music. Except for some of the rappers whom I can stand, the ones who actually rap about sensical and worthwhile things, but it's hard to find rappers like those these days, sadly. Anyway. Glad you're enjoying the story! And I'm sorry you don't know most of the songs; people not knowing the songs is what made me iffy about making this story uberly songficish, but I just decided "What the hell, I'll do it"... if you want to hear any of the songs I use, I'd be happy to e-mail them to you. :D

Phoenix: Glad the character development is going good! -cheers- Yay for character development!

Novelist: Ah, Tidus. I would hook Kairi up with Tidus, but alas, he has his eyes on Yuna. (Oh no! It's CANON! RUN! XD) But you find that out later. And as I've mentioned above somewhere in this tangle of words that is my A/N, I don't think I'm going to be able to fit anything with Kairi and a boyfriend in this story, as it's quickly drawing to a close. And I know it's annoying, but Riku shall remain a stubborn dumbass for another few chapters (it's even annoying to write him like that -sweatdrops-) Ah well, it's necesssary for the story. I don't know if there will be more to do with Sora's dream; I think I just randomly tied that in there 'cause during Riku's concert, Sora said that the name of the band reminded him of a dream he'd once had. I didn't really know what I was planning on doing with the dream, but if nothing else it serves to strengthen the RikuxSora bond, ne? In some freaky, cosmic way. -shrugs- The story on Sephy and Cloud shall be coming soon! ...But not soon enough, I guess. It's taking me too long to get around to it. -sweatdrops again-

Setsu-chan: Yes, everyone's saying they like Kairi in this fic. I like her, too; her character greatly reflects my own inner yaoi fangirl. XD I'm living vicariously through her. How pathetic. Oh well! I don't know if there'll be any smut coming up; I seriously doubt it, as tempting as it is to include it. -ponders- Hmm, we'll have to see. And it's awesome that you can relate to Riku's situation with his parents! And it's great that your situation worked out okay. But it looks like poor Riku's still paying for the consequences of his parents' actions with his twisted philosophies, ne?

Anyway, on with the chapter! Bon appetite!

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/Sora's POV/

I woke up the next morning achy and sore. I winced multiple times when getting ready for school, and I even limped to Aerith's car when she came to pick us up. I tried my best to hide it, though. I think Aerith and Kairi still looked worried.

I sank into my seat in homeroom. Pretty much accustomed to the pain now, it was a lot easier to conceal. Regardless, I heard someone snicker. Turning, there was Axel sitting to the right of me, leaning casually back with his arms crossed. I glared at him, which probably ended up looking more like a pout. I'd never quite mastered the art of glaring.

"Chill, Kid," he said. Glaring or not, I guess he could tell I was angry.

I ignored him, turning back around.

"Hey, Sora—"

"Leave me alone, Axel."

"Sora," he persisted, kneeling beside my desk now.

"Back off, you jerk," Kairi said from in front of me.

"Look, Sora," Axel continued, ignoring Kairi, "I'm sorry."

I turned to him, my eyes wide. "You're sorry?" I couldn't believe this. Had I imagined him saying that? And was he smiling? No, he was half-smiling, half-smirking. He was amused, as if this were all just a big joke.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. About what happened yesterday."

"Oh, you're so full of it, Axel," Kairi snarled. She was scary when she was angry, and it made me very relieved to not be on the receiving end of her wrath.

"Sora, listen to me," Axel was saying, still with this easy air that made me want to strangle him. "I know how you feel." His voice had lowered suddenly, almost conspiratorially, and the flirtatious fire in his eyes seemed to flicker, as if threatening to extinguish itself. "And I'm sorry." This time, he sounded somewhat…sincere. Maybe he'd been sincere when he'd said it the first two times, but it hadn't seemed like it. I guess that was just the way Axel was, always with this film of coquettishness coating his true feelings and motives that made people not take him seriously. "It's not right, what those guys did to you—"

"Then why did you just stand there when it was happening? Why did you let it go? Why didn't you help Sora?" Kairi demanded heatedly, her questions shooting at him in rapid-fire succession.

His eyes hardened then, the fire quavering behind a layer of crystal, as he turned his gaze on Kairi. "Because I don't want to be their next target," he hissed.

"What…do you mean?" I asked slowly, the pieces suddenly beginning to fall together. "Axel, are you—mmph!"

He clamped his hand over my mouth, his simmering glare now aimed at me. That was all the confirmation I needed.

Axel was just like me.

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I find it weird sometimes that, once you learn something new, suddenly that thing pops up everywhere. Like, when I learn a new word, all of a sudden I notice it being used in books, advertisements, movies, etcetera. Well, it was happening again. Except, this time it wasn't a new word that I'd learned, but Axel's secret.

I didn't really know Axel. I knew that he was a senior, though he was a few years older than everyone in his class due to some weird happenstance that had held him back in middle school. He was a pretty amusing guy, the class clown sort of person. He was also a pyromaniac, from what I'd heard, always carrying around a lighter (though he didn't smoke) and flicking it opened and closed when no teachers were looking. I knew that he ran in the same crowd as Marluxia, Demyx, Zexion, and Larxene, and therefore I'd never really associated much with him. But now, I was looking at him in a whole new light.

Ever since learning his secret, I started noticing things about Axel that I'd never thought possible. He shared a few classes with me, Kairi, Selphie, and this boy named Roxas. Now, I wouldn't have mentioned Roxas if he hadn't been the thing I noticed about Axel. When not preoccupied with work or talking to his friends, Axel would be staring at Roxas, whether consciously or not. Roxas was a boy in my grade, and everyone told me that we could pass as identical cousins, save for the difference in hair color and our slight difference in height. We were friends, I didn't know if I'd call us close friends, but friends nonetheless.

And Axel had a crush on him.

Initially, all I had to support this theory were speculations. But, come lunch time, I had all of the evidence I needed to make my theory cold, hard fact.

Maybe it was coincidence, or maybe it was one of those higher power things that people were always talking about, but I decided to head outside for lunch and sit in the courtyard. Our school's courtyard was beautiful, to say the least, thanks to our environmental club. There were tall maple trees lining the walls and bushes lining the trees. A pathway wound through the foliage, connecting the two doorways that led in and out of the courtyard. Needless to say, it was very easy for students to disappear into the courtyard and find privacy from the eagle-eyed teachers, even during the winter season when the cold weather stripped the plants of their dressings.

And who should I happen to come upon when taking an innocent stroll through said courtyard?

"Roxas…"

"Leave me alone, Axel."

"Roxas, please, just…hear me out."

This caught my interest. I slowed my pace and followed the hushed voices, peering over a bush to find none other than Axel and Roxas crouched behind a tree, sandwiched between the wide, sturdy trunk and the off-white brick wall. Roxas was leaning against the wall with Axel almost hovering over him, his hands on the blonde's shoulders. Quickly, I ducked in front of the bush, hiding myself from view. So, I was never much of an eavesdropper, but this was just too intriguing to pass up.

"Axel, stop it. You're being ridiculous." Oh yes, Roxas wasn't exactly known for his warmth. Despite our similar appearances, he and I were nearly polar opposite in demeanor. While my eyes were often compared to the summer sky, his were like the arctic waters that sloshed around the ice up north.

"Please," Axel pleaded again. I don't think I'd ever heard, nor thought I would hear, him sound so desperate. The playful film coating his words was completely wiped away, like grime from a stained-glass window, and now all that was showing through were the bright, clear colors—raw desperation. "Don't you care? At all?"

"It's all in your head, you don't really feel anything," Roxas tried to reason, his voice admonishing.

"The hell I don't! Who are you to tell me what I feel and don't feel, Roxas?" Roxas seemed to have no answer to that. So Axel continued. "Roxas, why are you so thickheaded! Dammit, I can't get through to you!"

"It's wrong," was the bland, matter-of-fact answer.

"What's wrong?"

"You feeling something like that. It's just…wrong."

"Shit," Axel swore under his breath, "not you, too."

"Axel, we've had this conversation before. It always ends the same. So why do you insist on bringing it up again?"

"Because I'm not going to give up! I… I can't give up, Roxas, don't you get it?"

"No, explain it to me."

"I… I…!" I could practically hear the trembling of Axel's body in his voice, as if his words were barely held together by thin, fragile threads. And then, there was a quick intake of breath from both parties, followed by a muffled protest, and I could only guess that Axel was kissing Roxas. Parting a few boughs in the bush, I saw that that was exactly what was happening.

I felt my face heat as I watched them, with Roxas on his back, laying in the lush blanket of grass, and Axel on top trying to spur some sort of reaction from the blonde. Roxas's eyes were wide, and Axel's were closed tightly, as if he was bracing himself for some chastisement that was sure to come from his brash actions.

And that was when I left, knowing that my face was probably tinged with more than a little pink. I took my sandwich and my apple, my water tucked under my arm and my backpack over my shoulder, and left as surreptitiously as I could. I don't think they noticed me.

Kairi and Selphie welcomed me back to the lunch table, asking me why I'd changed my mind and decided to eat inside. I just blushed more and stuffed my sandwich in my mouth.

I think…I would be able to forgive Axel for yesterday. Suddenly, I saw him as someone on my side, someone like me. I could understand his wanting to hang with the people he did; it was, after all, the perfect cover. He was safest there, and he knew it.

But despite how safe it was outwardly, I knew for a fact that it was killing him inside.

/Riku's POV/

AP Physics. That was where I was sitting Wednesday morning, listening to my teacher go on about something that I'd probably end up having Tidus explain to me later. I wasn't listening; my thoughts were wandering aimlessly through the expanse of my complicated cogitations. This morning, they'd taken a turn into a room that was showing a slideshow of yesterday afternoon. Somewhere in the background the soundtrack was playing.

"If you ever touch him again, I will make you regret it."

"Fucking queer."

"Bastard."

I scribbled into my notebook, harsh, embossed lines of shimmering gray graphite. I etched stick figures of those assholes from yesterday into the margin of my paper, then drew a stick figure of myself stabbing them with a katana. A knife wouldn't be long enough; I wanted to spear them all at once, like a homophobe shish kabob.

"I-I'm so-sorry for…being such a h-hassle…"

"Are you insane!"

Oh, Sora. My expression softened, my pencil strokes becoming lighter. I forewent my angry sketches and instead began doodling beneath them, drawing a little picture of Sora. I think the only thing that would be able to distinguish him as my boyfriend and not just a poorly drawn cartoon was the spiky hair and wide grin. I wasn't much of an artist; music was my forte.

"What happened? Why were they…all over you like that?"

"J-Just a…bunch of h-homophobes."

"Homophobes?"

"Y-Yeah…they, uh, saw us together yesterday and…well…"

"I…I'm sorry, Sora… I'm so sorry… It's all my fault… I should have been more careful. I should have…"

"It's okay, Riku. It's…not your fault… I've always had to deal with people like them."

"But…you shouldn't have to… Things shouldn't be like that… Just because—"

"I know. I don't understand it, either. But that's the way the world is, right?"

"But it shouldn't be! You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't… Why… I just…"

"I know."

I shook my head, turning the page of my notebook and starting to write. Of course I wasn't taking the notes I should have dutifully been, like the other students, but I was writing a song that had been stewing in my mind for a little while now. The World was the song I'd written after Leon's being harassed, but it wasn't enough. It didn't communicate the message I was so desperately trying to capture with my music. It wasn't angry enough.

Do really fucking think that it's a choice, a way of life plagued by discrimination?
You're narrow-minded and quick to judge with Bible belt tunnel-vision.

This is ignorance.
Failure to evolve is failure to us all.
When will you learn that this is where we fall?
Failure to evolve is failure to us all.
When will you learn that this is where we fall?

"Is this my fate?" he asked them.
They answered, condemning him to burn.
Rejected, forsaken, for being fucking born.
I can't believe that this is still a question that needs an answer.
A bigot's eyes, judging lives, based on the sex of who you fuck.

This is ignorance.
Failure to evolve is failure to us all.
When will you learn that this is where we fall?
Failure to evolve is failure to us all.
When will you learn that this is where we fall?

Burn, burn, judged and condemned to
Burn, burn, judged and condemned to
BURN.

I let out a breath of relief, setting my pencil down. It clicked hollowly against my desk.

Wow. I don't ever remember using the word "fuck" so much in my writing since…ever. But, I found that once my hand had started moving, it couldn't stop. The words just kept flowing. And now I was satisfied, even feeling a little better about the whole ordeal yesterday. Sure, I was still angry, but much of that anger was now on paper, burning holes through my notebook. At least it wasn't burning holes through my thoughts anymore.

I decided that I would now be able to focus on the lesson, only to find that class was over. I began to pack up my stuff, standing and slinging my bag over my shoulder. I saw Tidus standing behind me with his hip cocked and a fist perched on it. He was shaking his head at me, but smiling nonetheless. From the sheepish grin on my face, I think he knew, too, that he was going to have to spend the evening filling me in on what I'd missed.

I checked the time on my cell phone: 11:40. My classes were done for the day (my reward for cramming as many as I could into my schedule during my first three years), so I turned to Tidus as we were leaving Physics and asked, "Hey, wanna get some lunch?"

He seemed to think it over for a minute before nodding. "Sure."

I wrapped a friendly arm around his shoulder and grinned. "And, while we're at it, you can tell me what happened in class!"

He smirked, and I had a feeling it was going to be costing me for this lesson. He'd probably want me to pay for his lunch or something. "All right."

We signed out in the office and headed to the parking lot. We hopped into my car and within five minutes, we were out of the school vicinity. "Where to?" I asked him, glancing down the street.

He pointed. "There."

I veered to the right and pulled into an empty parking spot, cutting the engine and stepping out. As we stood in line to get our food, I pulled out my money and a little extra for Tidus. But, surprisingly, he paid for his own meal. Which meant he wanted something else. Damn.

We sat down in the booth and as I opened my straw, I demanded, "All right, Tidus, what do you want?"

He put on some innocent face and replied, "What do you mean?"

I shook my head. All right, if he wanted to play dumb, I'd let him. I'd be finding out eventually.

"Riku," he said after swallowing a bite of his burger, "what do you think of Yuna?"

"Yuna?" I thought back. That name sounded familiar. Oh right. "She's nice. I…uh, dated her in eighth grade." I offered him a smile, but I think he could tell what that smile was meant to hide.

"You slept with her, didn't you." It wasn't a question. I winced at the anger that flickered through his eyes.

"Sorry, man. How was I supposed to know that my friend would be going after her five years later? …You are going after her, right?"

"Riku! Come on! I've had a crush on her since middle school!"

Oops. I took a fry and crushed it into my mouth to keep anything stupid from coming out. These were the times when my body tended to betray me.

Tidus sighed and shook his head. "Whatever, dude. Just…you know her, right? Like, you associate with her?"

I nodded, sipping my drink to wash down the French fry. Note to self: never stuff a ketchup-less fry into mouth again, no matter the circumstances. It was just too dry. "Yeah."

"Could you…maybe talk to her for me?"

"What is this, Tidus? Freshman year all over again? Why don't you talk to her? Anything you say to her will probably mean ten times more than anything I could say to her."

He looked down at his quarter-eaten meal. "Yeah, you're right."

I nodded. "Good. And, Tidus? I'm…uh, sorry for…well, you know."

"Yeah, I know. It wasn't your fault. Actually, it was, but that's not the point. I don't think there's a girl in our school who hasn't been deflowered by you already. Or guy, for that matter."

I couldn't help but smirk around my straw.

He finished up his food and pulled his backpack to the table. "All right. Physics."

I pushed my garbage aside and leaned forward.

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A/N: First off, I do not own those awesome lyrics. They are from "Is This My Fate?" He Asked Them by Story of the Year. Awesome band; so intense. :D So, I'm a little iffy on how the whole thing with Axel and Roxas went. Any comments? Critiques would be greatly appreciated. Needless to say, review, please!

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