Another delayed post, I'm so sorry…

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Marissa lay still with her hands clasped above her chest, staring into the ceiling and toying with the shadows formed upon it, making shapes and images as she thought of Ryan and the events of the night. She didn't know whether her revelations of how she'd been feeling all this time, was for the better. On one hand, she was glad he knew, but it was also because he knew, she regretted her decision to pour herself out to him. The storm was relentless and all that could be heard were the water drops hitting the surfaces and constructing its own rhythmical pattern. He loved her and he wanted to be with her, but she couldn't let him just traipse into her life how he wanted and when he wanted to. It wasn't right.

She wanted nothing more than to be by his side and embellishing in the reverie that was their relationship, but instead she was alone in the darkness, wondering where he was. Hoping he was okay and didn't stay caught up in the rain; that he was somewhere safe and warm, having just left him standing there and not looking back. At that moment, life to her felt like a forest, overwhelmed by its depth and every corner she turned would look identical to another. She was lost, carrying her weighted feelings with her and looking for a clearing. Letting her tears fall to her sides, her breathing became coarse the more she thought about him, wanting to reach out to him and fix everything that slowly began to tear at the seams. Closing her eyes letting the last of her cries spill out and hoping that rest will dissolve her problems.

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For while after Marissa had already left he just sat in his car, watching the water glide effortlessly down the windscreen. If only that rain could cleanse all the guilt he felt, wash away the sadness. All he could remember were her cries, her tears while she protested. Relaying her outbursts and rewound all that she had said. All this time, he had no idea. Oblivious to her pain, making him feel like he didn't even know her; and that thought scared him even more. Ryan sat there unable to comprehend how naïve he'd been; completely unaware of how he acts when he'd been around Sarah. Where do you begin when you find out someone close to you has been harbouring all these emotions, letting it eat away at themselves as they tried to do what was right for you. Starting the engine, he fastened his seatbelt and flicked the wipers on. He drove away, further and further from the spot where they'd had their confrontation. It didn't matter how much further he had gotten, because the emotions wouldn't stay buried there. They would go with him for there was no escaping this.

On the drive home he stopped at a familiar set of lights, looking over to one side and the girl he'd seen earlier on the way had still been sitting there, the exact same place under the bus shelter. He didn't know why but he felt intrigued by her, pulled in for some reason as she sat there alone, no baggage with her, just waiting. For what, he had no idea. With no cars around him he made an impulsive decision to make a quick left turn, pulling his car and parking it in the nearest available spot. Despite the heavy rainfall he persisted and trudged through the wet weather. There she was, still unmoved, and he looked at her getting a better view of her sullen face.

He sat next to her on the opposite side hoping he wasn't scaring her, but she seemed unfazed and kept her eyes focused to the front. As he sat there, he could no longer justify his rash decision. His senses coming to him and wondering what the hell had gotten into his head that propelled him to do go over to her.

Suddenly, cutting through the frosted air she spoke without turning her head toward him, "Long night?"

He was taken aback that she had been the first of them to speak, "…you could say that."

"What's her name?" She asked perceptively. Though she might be stranger, her presumptions were on target.

"…Marissa", he said quietly.

"Don't worry she'll come around…" The brunette girl said plainly, still making no eye contact with him.

Why he suddenly felt compelled to talk to this stranger about his personal life, he had no idea why, but he figured even talking to someone who has no ties to your own life, doesn't know where you've been or where you're going is much easier than talking to your closest friend. At the end of the day a stranger will continue to pass by, whether they judge you or not doesn't really matter; having someone to talk to at that moment was enough. "I don't like my chances…"

"She'll come around."

A small smile appears on his face that she's bluntly optimistic, "…how do you figure that."

"I'm sure she loves you…I don't think if she really loved you she could ever stay away for too long." She finally faced him, quickly giving him a glance and a raise of the eyebrows. "Do you love her?"

He exhaled letting air out of his system, "…I do love her. A lot more than she probably thinks I do right now."

"Why would she think that?"

Ryan began fiddling with his fingers and staring down at the cracked pavement, "Because sometimes things I've said or done, don't really compliment how I really feel."

Without exchanging names or getting into further detail about the specifics, they continued to talk as the drops bounced off the shelter. Rain continued to fall in front of them as they watch as if it were a moving picture. Occasionally a streak of lightning would pierce through the sky and brighten up the city like a greater being would be taking photographs of their lives from a distant place. The stranger continued to ask questions and he would carelessly answer her, no matter how personal, he would tell the girl knowing it involved no repercussions.

"Is she pretty?" She persisted, innocently.

Ryan pictured her, screen shots of all the times he'd been in awe, falling into a daze and imagining her smile and the way her hair settled lightly by her shoulders. "…she's…beautiful, and so much more than she knows."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I honestly have no idea. I don't know if she wants to see me." He replied honestly.

"Just give her time…" she said offering some insight.

Speaking of time, they'd been sitting there talking for a while now and a bus was yet to arrive. He began to wonder what she'd been waiting for all this time. "Doesn't seem like anyone's coming…"

"I'm not here for the bus." She said straight-forward. "Sometimes, I just go for walks and find somewhere to think. I like it here though; watching strangers come and go. I always wonder where they've been and where they're going."

As she said that it hit a nerve; struck by the coincidence he'd been wondering the exact same thing about her. He looked to his feet and contemplated where he'd been and where he would go after this.

"Don't worry Ryan, like I said, just give her time…" The girl said softly.

Upon hearing his name, something inside him clicked; realizing he hadn't actually mentioned in their entire conversation what his name was, nor did he ask hers. He looked up suddenly to find she had no longer been sitting beside him. Peering out looking in all directions, he found no one walking on the sidewalks. Feeling uncomfortable, he almost felt like he was hallucinating or going crazy. Where had she gone, he had no idea. But he took a moment and realised he now knew where he had to go.

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"Marissa, have you seen my black sweater?" Kyle called out from her bedroom as Marissa sat in the lounge.

She spooned out another portion of ice cream straight out of the container as she watched and old Meg Ryan film, with a look of longing on her face, "I saw it here in the basket. " Marissa said despondent, referring to the pile of fresh laundry near her.

Kyle came out of her room and caught sight of a hopeless Marissa sitting on the couch in her pyjama pants and her Berkeley sweatshirt, her spoon making another dig at the choc fudge. "Come on Marissa, I mean really…" Kyle rolls her eyes and walks over and takes the spoon already making another round trip to her mouth leaving Marissa's mouth gaping. "You can't sit here moping while you eat away your problems and watch When Harry met Sally. It's not going to help you." She took a breath as she figured what to say to the unmoved Marissa. "He's been calling you."

She proceeded to stare blankly into the box, "I know. I heard the messages off the machine."

"What are you going to do Marissa? Sit here all day?"

"No. I'll have bathroom breaks." She replied indifferently.

"Aren't you going to start packing? You guys are going home for Christmas aren't you?"

"I was."

"But?" Kyle asked as she dropped the spoon into the sink and placed the lid back onto the ice cream carton.

"Now I'm not…How come you're not packed?"

"I'm not going home for Christmas. In honor of my parents retiring, they've decided to whisk themselves away to Europe and visit some relatives for the holidays while they're at it. I've got some old high school friends coming here to celebrate Christmas with…Come on Marissa, what, you're not going to go home over this. You have to face him eventually, you can't ignore him…Don't you want to see your family?"

"Yeah but I'll be running into him everywhere. It's just awkward right now. I don't even know what to say after everything we've said."

"You can't ignore him." Kyle repeated once more.

The answering machine goes off once more and the light begins to flash as a message is being left. The two girls direct their attention toward it on the stand. "Marissa…it's me. I don't know if you're home or you're just screening me, but…I don't know…please just call me back when you can…" A beep ends the message.

"I just did." Marissa answered looking back up at Kyle, and her roommate just sighed at her behaviour.

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"Still not answering your calls huh…"

Ryan handed the house phone back to Seth which he placed back on the stand "Did it sound like she answered my call?" Ryan asked bitterly.

"Hey, don't blame me because your ex-girlfriend doesn't want to hear you confessions of love."

"She's not my ex-girlfriend…we were on a break."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure by now you're broken up." Seth answered bluntly as he continued to fold some clothes and pack them into a large overnight bag.

Ignoring Seth's last comment, Ryan just lay sprawled out on Seth and Summer's sofa, wondering how he's going to get through to her.

"Is it time to get out the old Boyz II Men classic, again?" Seth remarks.

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Marissa spent the whole day running through her DVD collection, movie after movie with the same formula. Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl back. Still in the clothes she'd slept in, she lazed about the house feeling deflated. He would continue to leave messages throughout the afternoon, and she insisted upon ignoring them, still at a loss for anything to say.

As she watches Marissa Tomei go after Robert Downey Jr. on screen, a knock at the door disrupts the moment she'd been waiting for.

"Coop! I know you're in there!" Summer yells out from the hallway.

Marissa hadn't at all been expecting her. She rushes to the door to stop her from yelling any further and disturbing the other tenants. "What're you doing here Sum?" She asks.

Summer looks her up and down at the state her best friend is in, "God, it's worse than I thought." She says as she welcomes herself in through the door.

Summer wanders around the room and gives Marissa's bedroom a quick once over, "Kyle was right. You're not packed. You're not packed even a little bit." Summer exclaims.

Kyle comes out of her bedroom on her way out with her carry bag on her arm, Marissa narrows her eyes at her and Kyle knows exactly why, "You left me no choice. I needed to get reinforcements." She said frankly and left as Marissa just shakes her head and makes her way back out to the lounge area to continue watching her movie. Summer comes back and steals the remote control away from her and switches it off to draw her attention.

"Hey!" Marissa pleads.

"What's this I hear that you don't want to come home for Christmas?" She asks, cutting to the chase.

"It's no big deal Sum." Marissa retaliates as she rubs her eyes.

"Marissa, it is a big deal. It's not the same if one of us isn't there." Summer pleaded.

Marissa understood where she was coming from, but couldn't help how she was feeling, "Summer, we're going to have to see each other a lot during this holiday season, and it's going to be just so uncomfortable."

"That's no reason to stay here and mope during Christmas."

"Sum, do you know how hard it is to even talk to him right now…You already know what happened, and…how do you even begin to fix that."

"You know he wants to talk to you. He's been at our place trying to call you all day." Summer says with a sombre look in her eyes.

"I want to talk to him. I just don't know what to say." Marissa explained.

"Say how you feel…"

"Saying how I felt is how this whole thing got so complicated."

"Believe me Coop, you and Chino were always complicated, even before you spilled your guts out."

Marissa just sighed and Summer could see she was torn. She wanted to go home, at least to see her mom, but Summer also understood where she was coming from. It wasn't that she was afraid of him, because she's proved herself in being able to confront him in the first place. It was merely she wasn't ready to face Ryan as yet, and if the whole four of them were going home it would leave her little to no choice.

"Look…as much I really want you to and think you should go, I can't force you. But I want you to be there, and I know it wouldn't be the same for Ryan if you weren't there. I just…I hope you change your mind." Summer finished tapping her lightly on the knee, hoping her best friend would just come home with them.

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