Chances in Life

XO'MagickMoon'OX

.Chapter XIV. Ghosts of the Past

A/N: Okay, now that the fun exhibitionism is over, back to the serious stuff. And yes, Riku will sadly continue to be frustrating for a little while longer...but don't be too hard on him, yeah? He's just a confused bishie! -hugs Riku, protecting him from rotten vegetables-

Aaaaanyway, all right, on with the chapter!

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/Riku's POV/

Ohhh boy. Okay. Now that had been intense. Of course, I wasn't an exhibitionist, but…well, it was just Kairi, and I personally know how those yaoi fangirls are. It was a favor to her (nothing else, really…I think). But, an irritating ache had settled itself around my pelvis, and I really wanted to get rid of it. Glancing at Sora, however, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I could have planned to take him to the mall and have my way with him in the back room in Hot Topic; I'd done it before. My coworkers, especially Leon, were never happy about it, but that never stopped me. And yet, with Sora,…I just couldn't do it.

This was getting frustrating.

My hands unconsciously tightened around the steering wheel as I drove into the parking lot, these blasphemous thoughts dancing around my head. I pulled into the first spot I could find, killing the engine and stepping out of the car. Sora and Kairi followed suit. As they walked a little ahead, I hated the way my eyes tethered themselves to Sora's ass. Agh, if only his underwear hadn't been in the way, I would've been touching his skin. I wondered if his skin was as soft there as it was everywhere else. Would I ever get to find out?

Dammit, of course I would. Why was I doubting myself? As Tidus had said, I was the Riku Ishiguro, the God of Sex and Seduction. I wouldn't fail, especially not with Sora. I couldn't fail with Sora. I…I wanted to… I wanted him. Jesus, I don't remember the last time I'd wanted someone so badly. I don't think…I'd ever wanted someone so badly. Why did I want him so badly? Why? What made him different from the thousands of other people I'd ever wanted? Want, desire, craving, it all translated to lust. Lust didn't differentiate, it didn't decide that it preferred one person over all the rest.

So what the hell was wrong with me?

"Riku."

I jumped, jarred from my thoughts, and saw Sora and Kairi watching me.

"What's wrong, Riku?" Sora asked. He looked so concerned, it made my chest…hurt. He fell in step beside me and laced his fingers through mine. "Hey," he murmured, "Riku?"

"It's nothing," I told him, smiling softly. Smiles just seemed to come naturally when I was around him.

"If you say so…" He shrugged and tightened his grip on my hand, swinging our arms casually back and forth. He was so cute.

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"Man, what took you so long!" Tidus griped as we walked through the entrance to Hot Topic. He was leaning backwards over the counter and regarding us pleadingly—upside-down. What an idiot. "Riku! My love! Take the register!" He reached dramatically out to me, and a few of the customers gave him weird looks. "I need foooood!"

Oh, so that was what the theatrics were about.

Kairi giggled and propped an elbow on the counter beside Tidus as he straightened, combing his wayward hair back into place with his fingers. "I'm sorry," she told him. "It's my fault Riku's late. I made him and Sora give me a show in the car."

"Whoa! Riku! Exhibitionist, are we?"

I scowled and promptly smacked him upside the head. "Keep it down, loudmouth. It was just a favor."

"To Kairi or yourself?"

"Just…go get your food, dumbass," I growled at him, swinging a leg over the counter and taking my post. "And bring me a milkshake."

"What's the magic word?" Tidus said sweetly, now across from me. Which meant that he could run if I tried to smack him again. Dammit.

"Pleeeeaase," I humored him, folding my hands beseechingly like a poor suppliant.

"Okay. Since you asked so nicely." And with that, he left, disappearing into the labyrinth of the mall.

"Riku," Kairi said, "me 'n Sora are gonna go shop around for a little."

"We are?" Sora eyed Kairi curiously.

"Yup." She smiled at me and gripped his arm, tugging him away. "We'll be back soon! Call Sora on his cell phone if you go on your break before we're back."

I gave her a two-fingered salute, leaning back against the counter, and nodded. "All right."

As they left the store, I mentally slapped myself when I found my eyes on Sora's ass again.

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Another slow day. Whoo. I could just feel the excitement bubbling to the roof. Look! It was spilling out the doorway! It was drowning that Old Guy and Ms. Prada who was going to trip over her heels going down the stairs. Hah. The elevator was broken.

Wow. If people could hear my thoughts right now, they'd probably wonder what I was smoking. But really, I was just suppressing other thoughts that I'd rather not think. Oh, wonderful. I'd just opened the floodgate by mentioning them, and here they came.

These thoughts always started with an image. Blue eyes, tousled chestnut hair, a heart-shaped face. And then they branched off.

His lips are delicious (I like to see him smile).

His skin would look sexy covered in sweat (it's so soft, like silk).

He's got a really hot body (I want to hold him).

His voice is gorgeous when he moans (his laughs are adorable).

I want to fuck him senseless (I want to worship his body).

"GAH!" I fell to my knees and hit my head against the flat edge of the counter. Repeatedly.

"That can't be healthy."

I jumped and sprang to my feet to see Leon peering down at me. "H-Hi!" I squeaked. What the fuck? I never squeaked. Sora squeaked. I didn't squeak.

Leon tilted his head almost imperceptibly. "What are you doing?"

Groaning, I propped my elbows on the counter and dropped my head into my hands. "Going insane."

"I see that."

"Then why did you ask?"

"I was wondering if you could see that."

"No, Leon, fill me in, why don't you?" I quipped. Picking my head up, I halfheartedly glowered at him through my bangs.

He sighed heavily and folded his arms across his chest. "Okay, so what's wrong?"

"I don't know what's wrong! That's what's wrong!"

"Read: it's Sora."

"Grrr…"

Leon blinked. "…Did you just growl at me?"

"Yes! Yes, I just growled at you." Tidus did, after all, say that I had the sex drive of a dog in heat, why not play the part?

"You're pathetic, you know that?"

I shook my head. I needed to change the subject. "So, Leon, how's that thing with Cloud going?"

He started, arms falling out of his default stance. "What thing?"

"The thing that you have yet to start."

"What are you talking about?"

"Leon, you're after him."

"And you know that…how?"

"Three things." I brandished said number of fingers while talking. "One: your encounter last Friday night was just teeming with a complicated history and sexual frustration. Two: you have a picture of him in your office—"

"I have pictures of all of my old friends."

I sighed. "You have five pictures of him—yes, I found the ones hidden in your desk. And three: you fell asleep in the back room the other day and I walked in on you moaning his name."

Whoa, I had never seen Leon blush a pink like that. …Wait, I had never seen him blush period! Oh, where was my camera when I needed it? Hah! I had a camera-phone! I quickly pulled it out and click. Yay for blackmail material!

"Stop that," Leon snapped. "I do not like Cloud."

"The evidence is against you, Leonhart."

"Okay, fine! I l…like him."

"Hm, stammering the word 'like'? What could this mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything!"

I draped myself idly over the counter and tapped my chin as if deep in thought. "I think it means that this is more than just a little thing; you want to fuck him. Over and over and over and ov—"

"The hell! Ishiguro, you're five seconds away from getting fired."

"You wouldn't fire me; Seph would kill you." I brushed aside his threat and continued. "Or maybe you want to get fucked. Though, you do seem like more of a top than a bottom. Maybe it's your brooding, death-to-the-world attitude. Then again, Blondie seems to parallel your demeanor. I guess you guys would be a versatile couple."

"Riku, cut it out!"

"And he's older than you, right? Maybe you would be on bottom. He has the maturity factor."

"What maturity factor?"

"Your characters are just…polar opposite. He's the respectable school teacher, a year or two your senior, while you're the high school graduate guitarist who manages a Gothic clothing shop in the mall." I nodded astutely. "Yup, you'd definitely be on bottom."

Leon looked ready to kill. "Riku, shut up."

"So, how long?"

"How long what?"

"How long have you had your eye on him?"

He averted his gaze. "Too long."

I reached across the counter and prodded his arm. "How long? Days, weeks, months…?"

"Years."

"Ohhh I see. How many years?"

He mumbled something incomprehensible.

"What was that? I couldn't understand you."

"I said…" he sighed, "ten years."

Whoa. I blinked, unsure of what to say. Suddenly, it didn't seem all that amusing anymore. "…That's…a long time."

"Yeah."

"Since high school?"

"Freshman year."

I bit my lip and then said, "So…you have a really big thing for him."

"You have no idea." He turned around and leaned the small of his back against the counter, his arms folded again. I regarded the back of his head with blank eyes.

"So what happened?" I asked. "Why didn't you do something about it?"

"He had a girlfriend."

"Oh, right…uh, what's-her-name…Aerith?"

He glanced at me over his shoulder. "You know her?"

"Yeah, she's friends with Sora and Kairi. I think both her and Cloud are. They must be friends of the family or something." I shrugged. "So, how long were Cloud and Aerith together?"

"They were one grade above me and Sephiroth. I met Cloud in Geometry class in ninth grade, and somewhere along the way, I started…well, crushing on him, I guess is what you'd call it. For as long as I'd known him, he and Aerith had been together. I think they started dating in their freshman year." I watched his shoulders rise and fall, and I hated the way he was pretending that this was all no big deal. "They were together up until graduation. Everyone was convinced that they were going to leave high school, go to college together, and get married. After his graduation, that was the last I saw of Cloud."

"So basically, you never even got a chance."

"Nope."

I scratched my head uncertainly. "That sucks."

"Yup." There was a pause, until he spoke again. "I never thought I would see him again. He left for college to be a teacher, with Aerith, as everyone expected. But…I had no idea he was still living in this town. He must have moved back after college." He chuckled dryly. "Did you hear when I screwed up that one part in The World during our performance Friday?"

I laughed. "Now that you mention it…"

"That was when I noticed him standing in the audience."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. I could hear the smile in Leon's voice (though I doubted it was showing on his face), so I knew it was okay to laugh. We were silent for a little while longer, until a thought struck me. "He and Aerith must have broken up sometime during college," I pointed out, "because they're certainly not married, and they're not together anymore."

"Yeah, well…" Leon waved a hand idly, as if waving away the idea he knew was formulating in my head. Psh, like I'd let him just let it go.

"So what are you waiting for?" I asked him. "Why don't you go after him?"

"Because he's as straight as a ruler."

"Do you know that for sure?" He didn't answer, and I smirked. "There's no way you'll know if you never try."

"He'll get mad at me."

"What if he feels the same way you do?"

"He doesn't."

"Do you know that for sure?" I asked again. "Have you ever even confronted him?"

"Of course not."

"Then how do you know?"

"I…don't."

"Exactly."

Leon turned to face me then, leaning his elbows on the counter. He was glaring at me. I think he was singeing the tips of my hair with his eyes, but it didn't matter.

I'd managed to keep my thoughts off of Sora for at least four minutes.

/Sora's POV/

"You guys were sooo hot!"

"Kairi," I groaned, "let it go."

"But you were!"

I shook my head, muttering, "It was all Riku."

"What are you talking about?" she asked as we passed the food court. The smells made my stomach growl. "He couldn't have done it by himself. You were hot, too!"

"Kairi, the word 'hot' doesn't describe me, nor does any adjective synonymous to the aforementioned." I folded my arms, adding resolutely, "As it should be."

"Sora!" Kairi exhaled exasperatedly. "You just don't get it, do you? Riku wouldn't have shown an interest in you in the first place if you weren't at all attractive. And you are! You are so attractive; there are tons of girls in our school who would kill to go out with you. And probably some guys, too, but, well, you know how that is." As she was wont to do, she began gesticulating, and nearly whacked a passerby in the head. He glared at her, and she ignored it. "Sora Tsukada, you are hot, sexy, adorable, gorgeous—"

"Kairi!" I interrupted her rant. People were starting to stare. "Cut it out. You're just saying all that."

"No, I mean it! Gah!" She grabbed my arm suddenly and dragged me into the nearest store, which was an Abercrombie & Fitch. She pulled me to the cash register and leaned an elbow on the counter, smiling amiably at the girl who was busy ringing up some shirt and packing it into a bag. "Excuse me," she said sweetly.

"Kairi," I murmured, feeling my face heat. She ignored me.

"How can I help you?" the girl asked, smiling also.

"I need your opinion." She gestured to me. "If given the chance, would you date this boy?"

Agh! I averted my eyes, blushing madly. This reminded me of two weeks ago when she'd dragged me to the mall in search of a boyfriend. The cashier regarded me for a moment with a thoughtful look before her grin broke anew across her face and she chirped, "Definitely! He's a cutie." She leaned on the counter and propped her chin in her hand. "Are you single?" she asked me.

"Unfortunately, no," Kairi answered for me.

"Oh." The girl looked disappointed. Turning to Kairi, she queried, "So, are you his girlfriend?"

Kairi shook her head. "Nope. Sadly, my friend here has been taken by the hottie who works over at Hot Topic."

The girl tapped her small chin contemplatively. Finally, she asked, "Who's that? I only know of two girls who work over there. One's married and the other's a lesbian."

"His name's Riku," Kairi said, turning around now so that she was leaning over the counter, too. It seemed they'd shifted into Girl Talk mode.

"Oh! Riku…I know him," the girl said. "Wow, aren't you a lucky one?" She giggled at me, twirling a dark lock of hair around her finger. "I can see why he went after you, though. Anyone who lets a catch like you get away is just plain crazy."

My blush was receding, and I was learning to accept this girl's compliments without turning red at every word. It felt sorta…nice…to be complimented like that. Did people really see me that way? As someone…worthwhile? I guess, after being with Riku, it was getting less and less difficult to believe.

"Well, nice talking with you," Kairi said to the cashier. With a short wave, she gripped my hand and bounced to the door, stumbling back into the mall with me in tow. "Hey, let's go down to the bookstore! Walden Books has a lot of good yaoi mangas."

I sighed. "Sure, why not."

"Come on, Sora!" She tugged on my hand and we started down towards Kairi's Yaoi Manga Haven. I remember her calling it that once.

We sat down in a small corner in front of the Romance section, which was on one of the walls running perpendicular to the freestanding manga shelf. Kairi began perusing the selection, running her fingertip over the titles. Squeaking happily, she practically tore one from its place, hugging it to her chest as she plopped down beside me. I just sat there with my chin propped in my hand, looking idly about the store. I liked this place; it was cozy, and there weren't many people. In fact, I don't think there were any save for us and the cashier. It was almost nothing like the Barnes and Noble we worked at, which was almost always full of people. Kairi also said that our Barnes and Noble had a horrible manga selection, and that she looked to Borders for her stock of yaoi. I always rolled my eyes and called her a traitor.

I exhaled heavily, letting my thoughts wander. They meandered right back to what had happened in Riku's car that afternoon. I blushed just remembering it. I don't know why I'd let that happen, but I would admit that it had been…well, fun. Different. Exciting. And…I think that during all of it, I had begun to realize something. But, I was just probably being silly. Because there was no way that something like that could happen so quickly.

Could it?

Maybe I should ask Kairi; she seemed to know more about these things than me.

I tapped her on the shoulder, bringing her out of her boy's love fantasy world. "Hey, Kairi…"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think it would be…ridiculous for me to…think I was in love?"

I jumped as her eyes lit up like Christmas lights and a huge grin spread across her face. "SORA!" she squealed, latching onto my neck and hugging me so tightly that I think she disrupted the flow of air through my trachea.

"K-Kairi!" I gasped. "Let…go…!"

She relented, putting a good inch between our bodies but keeping us connected with her arm around my shoulder. "Sora!" she whispered, her voice syrupy with delight. "Sora, are you in love with Riku?"

"That's what I was going to ask you."

She blinked. "No, I'm not in love with Riku. Well, I am, but not in the way that—"

"No, no," I interrupted. "I meant… I was going to ask you if you thought that I was in love with Riku."

"Well, how am I supposed to know that?"

"Um…well, do you think it's impossible for someone to fall in love with someone after only dating them for a week? And, I mean, I haven't even known him for much longer than that."

"I'd say that it's unlikely for someone to really fall in love over such a short period of time, but it's definitely possible."

"It's just that…I feel like I've known him for…well, ever. Is that stupid?"

"Of course not!" She thought for a moment before saying, "Why do you think you're in love?"

"Well, of course I don't actually know what love feels like; I can only speculate from what I've heard. But, based on what I've heard and what I feel, I would say that it feels like I'm in love. I'm always…really happy when I'm with him, and I only ever want him to be happy, too. I would sacrifice…maybe anything if it would mean his happiness." I shrank against the bookshelf, covering my face with my hands. "Agh, I sound like a bad Valentine's Day Hallmark card."

"No, no you don't, Sora!" Kairi tried to assure me. "Keep going."

I took a deep breath, feeling my cheeks fill with a very unwanted heat as I continued. "I…well…I feel…complete when I'm with him. It's the sort of complete that makes me realize that I was ever incomplete to begin with. Like, I never really felt like I was missing something until I met him and suddenly, there was this hole in my heart. And the only time it's filled is when he…kisses me, or smiles at me, or even just touches me. I feel…whole when he's around."

I glanced at Kairi to find her smiling wistfully. "Sounds like love to me," she said, her voice gentle.

"But…I mean, it's only been a couple weeks. I just met him! And…he's the first boyfriend I've ever had. How do I know I'm not just imagining all of this because I've never been with someone before? How do I know I'm not just over exaggerating?"

"Well, you don't. But… Sora, do you believe in soul mates?"

"Soul mates?"

"Yeah."

"I…I guess. I don't know; I've never really given it that much thought."

"Well," she said, "I think that everyone has someone in the world who was born just for them, and vice versa. Like two sides of the same coin, like the sun and the moon, like the melody and the harmony of a song.—"

She was being poetic again, but I just couldn't see this getting explicit.

"I think that everyone has a person who they're just…meant to love. And whether this person is your first partner or your fiftieth, I think you have to find them sooner or later. So why not sooner?"

"So…you think Riku and I are meant to be together?"

"I truly do."

I sat up a little, looking down at my lap for a moment. These were the times when I knew for sure why Kairi was my best friend. "Thanks, Kairi," I said softly.

"No problem." She braced herself against the wall and rose to her feet, holding out her hand to help me up. "Come on."

I smiled and took her hand. She paid for her manga and we left, her swinging her plastic bag merrily as we stepped through the exit. We made it past the cell phone kiosk when suddenly—

"Hey, you! Hey!"

—I felt a hand land on my shoulder and turned to see a couple of girls walking behind us. My first impression of one of them was that she was Kairi's twin sister, but then I noticed the blonde hair. The other girl was a brunette, a little shorter than her friend.

"Can I help you?" I asked as we stopped in the sparse flow of people.

"Yeah. You're Riku's boyfriend, right?" the blonde asked. I nodded hesitantly. She extended her hand, saying, "My name is Naminé. And this is Olette." She exchanged a look with Olette and continued, "We're Riku's ex-girlfriends."

Olette added, "And we need to talk to you."

Kairi and I passed each other bemused glances before I nodded and we followed the girls as they led us over to a bench in front of Bloomingdale's, which was right beside the bookstore. Kairi and I sat down on the lacquered wood, the two girls sitting beside me. "Okay. What's this about?" I asked.

Naminé smiled sweetly at me, which was a change from the initial homicidal vibe I'd picked up. "Your name's Sora, right?" she asked me. I nodded. "Sora, you seem like a nice boy."

"I…like to think that I am," I said, still a little lost as to what these girls wanted.

"Well, if you want to stay that way, you'll break up with Riku."

"Wh-What?"

"No way!" Kairi exclaimed, aghast.

"He's nothing but trouble," Olette inputted, leaning forward with her hands gripping the edge of the bench, peering around Naminé at me.

"Look, here's how it goes," Naminé said, sounding eerily business-like. "You don't know Riku like we do. We go to school with him, we've dated him—"

"There are few who haven't," Olette interrupted.

"—and we know what he's really like, whereas you have no clue. All you've seen is his carefully sculpted façade that he wears to charm his victims. You know, that sweet, considerate, loveable, albeit extremely sexy, Riku. Face it, Sora, you're an easy target for him because you're naïve."

"And still a virgin, I take it?" Olette mused. My face turned red again as I nodded curtly. Olette laughed, and it was hollow, dry. "You won't be that way for much longer if you stay with Riku."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked, feeling more than uncomfortable with the conversation.

Naminé studied her fingernails for a minute before saying, "Out of the, say, two-thousand students or so in our school—under- and upperclassmen alike—Riku has dated seventy-five percent of them, made-out with eighty-six percent, and slept with ninety-two percent."

"Th-That's ridiculous!" I said. "How could you…know something like that?"

"That's exactly my point: how could you not know something like that? It's pretty much common knowledge in our school. Riku is the Sex God of the student body. He's relentless, horrible, the worst bastard you'll ever meet. Do you want to know what happened with me and him?"

I wanted to say no.

"He dated me for about a week before he got me to sleep with him. It carried on like that for a while, I'd say about three weeks, until one morning I woke up and there was a note on his pillow saying that he wanted to break up with me."

"It was worse with our relationship," Olette piped up. "He didn't even sleep with me. On our second date, he just…fucked me and then told me afterwards that it was over."

"But he…" I was desperately trying to wrap my mind around this. Needless to say, it wasn't working very well. "He hasn't done anything like that to me. He's…really…"

"Nice? Chivalrous? Charming? He always is," Naminé said bitterly. "That's how he does it. Riku is an animal with a libido to match. When he finds someone he wants, he gets them. He captures their attention with his natural appeal, then seduces them into bed, and dumps them like yesterday's trash when he grows tired of them. It doesn't matter who you are or how you feel about him; all he has in mind is himself. And he gets what he wants; no one turns him down. It's only after he's torn you apart that you realize what a demon he really is. He will utterly destroy you and not even bat an eye."

Olette nodded. "He doesn't have girlfriends or boyfriends. He has playthings. That's all you are to him, Sora, a plaything. In Riku's mind, relationships are just a big game. Sooner or later, you'll see it. You'll be a victim just like the rest of us."

I laughed nervously; I couldn't help it. "You… You make him sound like a serial killer, or something."

Naminé shook her head. "No, he's much worse than a serial killer. Riku is a serial heartbreaker."

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A/N: Dun, dun, dun! What now? What will Sora think? What will he do? Oh, the questions! Review, and thou shalt find out!

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