Waking Up
Chapter 13
"I saw Georgie today." She turned and looked at him. He was casually resting on the laundry room door frame. For all intents and purposes, he looked at ease. But she knew different. "She said to say hello."
"Yeah?" That was all Molly could muster. She didn't want to get into this again. She continued to fold the clothes, separating them from those that desperately needed ironing, from those she could get away with not ironing.
"She had a favour to ask me." Again, Molly just briefly turned her head. Hoping he would spit it out, and also hoping he would appreciate that she just wasn't interested, or at least she pretended not to be. "She wants to re-join the section."
With this Molly spun round. "What the fuck? She can't be serious?"
"She was." Charles nodded. They both moved out of the laundry room and started to walk upstairs. Charles taking hold of the laundry basket. "Deadly." He watched as his wife slowly climbed up the stairs. He noticed that her steps were heavy and slow. He realised she was tired and fed up of it all, just like he was.
I had been two long years.
Two years in which Georgie and Elvis had focused too heavily in Charles and Molly's life together. Two years when the fun of being just them was marred.
It started with Elvis, not listening to Charles' council, not calling off the wedding, and instead jilting Georgie at the altar.
That started off a disastrous chain of events. Charles constantly feeling guilty for being the one to deliver the news that broke Georgie's heart.
That was why he had gone to Georgie when his section needed a new medic, and asked if she would join them. She agreed. In hindsight though, after Molly's two penneth, he realise it wasn't that she was agreeing not because it was the right thing to do professionally, but that she was trying to hold on to the past. Since the day she had been jilted, there had been little if any communication between her and Elvis. His choice, very definitely not hers. Charles quickly realised, as Molly pointed out right at the very beginning, that Georgie was only accepting the position to gain a link once again into Elvis' life.
The first exercise abroad, with her as his medic, should have been simple. The first mission should have been a walk in the park for seasoned soldiers. Yet it wasn't. It accumulated in Georgie being kidnapped, and Elvis being the one to rescue her. The bag of shit, for all involved, well and truly hit the fan, and it was where Molly and Charles' lives started to become infected.
Elvis now tried everything to win Georgie back. Georgie played the game of being hard to get. Enjoying the chase. She ended a long term relationship she was in, and gave Elvis hope, but little more. Their paths crossed several times, home and away, meaning Elvis and Georgie's complicated story continued.
More than once it was Molly though who had to pick up the pieces of Elvis' heart after he had been strung along, and then disappointed by Georgie. More than once it was Charles who had to justify Georgie's presence in his section. Though it was harder and harder to do, he realised that. A few doubtful decisions by her was the evidence that her kidnapping left her unable to cope as well as she used to. She started to put herself and others at risk a few times too many.
Charles should have done something about it. Molly told him repeatedly that things weren't right. He should have picked her up, taking her out and given into the duty of care that she deserved, but he couldn't. He didn't. He knew she was invested in her career, and he knew that any cessation of it would break her, just like she was broken once before. The day she was jilted at the altar.
And so Charles didn't do anything he just thought he had to be there to support her.
Molly had silently, and regretfully, noted that Charles was there, upfront and present, in Georgie's life. Far more than was needed. It wasn't unusual for her to come home at night to find Georgie sitting in her kitchen, invited round for a meal, or a quick drink. Molly often found her in her home, because as Charles said as 'she was struggling', and she knew because his heart was just too big.
Circumstances however took over before Molly could properly intervene. Another humanitarian mission, another whole cluster of doubtful decisions both from Charles and Georgie led to the ultimate disaster.
Georgie and Elvis' paths were crossed once again and it almost proved fatal. The section, including Charles and Georgie, return back to Afghanistan. Coincidentally Molly was out there too. The mission that was moving forward, was a large one, and all support was needed. Charles' section, with Georgie as medic, were joined with Elvis' elite team. Molly's section there as backup.
Charles still to this day, counted his blessings. So many things went wrong on that day, but one thing went right. There was a succession of errors and circumstances that occurred, but one went very right.
The first link in the disastrous chain of events was Elvis and Georgie rekindling their love for each other on that tour. Deciding to move their lives forward. Georgie forgiving him and accepting the second offer of marriage.
The next was Elvis, his mind which was too full of the happiness, made him take his eyes off the ball. He went into a situation that, had he been thinking correctly, he would never have tackled alone. He would have been more cautious. He would, they all knew, have done things differently. He approached it all wrong and the bomb went off, and he was blown from the roof onto the ground. Falling dead in front of Charles and Georgie.
Georgie froze. Charles maintained a level of command. The stars were aligned though as Molly was there and saw everything. It was her who jumped into action. It was her who restarted Elvis' heart. It was her who saved him. It was her who managed the situation that Georgie should have managed. Georgie for all to see had neglected her duty, and nearly cost Elvis his life.
It was something that Molly was finding hard to forgive. She'd been there before; she knew the feeling. She had been in that position, watching somebody you love fatally injured. She knew the training though needed to take over, emotions had nothing to do with it. She had done that for Charles, and now she had delivered for Elvis too. Georgie had not done anything.
Her actions needed to be brought into question and Charles finally saw this. The potential loss of his colleague, the potential loss of his best friend, and a good soldier, woke him up. He saw that Georgie needed help, and so from that day forward, he did everything to ensure it was put in place.
It wasn't a popular decision with everyone. It was the right thing to do, and Molly supported him, as did the rest of the section. Elvis, however didn't, despite him being the injured party. He spent months recovering from the blast, the fall, the cardiac arrest. Physically he did recover. However, months later, mentally, they were still waiting for the old Elvis to return. His body and his life came back from Afghanistan, but not his character. He was changed. He was too focused on Georgie, and on mis-placing his anger and frustration of the slow recovery solely on the shoulders of Charles and Molly.
The friendship suffered, and they saw very little of each other. Charles could only feel guilty. He knew on his sensible days that he done the correct thing. He knew as a commanding officer he had done the right thing, but he still felt that there was a level of betrayal. And Elvis' anger and the loss of friendship reinforced this.
They both sat down heavily on the bed. Knowing the enormity of Georgie's request. She wanted to re-join the section.
"So what are you going to do?" Molly asked.
"I don't know what I can do. I guess my hands are tied." He looked at her. "I guess I have to wait for the medical and psych report, and if she is passed by everybody then I have to take her request seriously."
"What about your current medic? I thought you were quite happy with him."
Charles nodded as he started to pair of the socks and separate their underwear from the laundry. "I was. I am. But he's got family problems. He's talking about looking into moving. Everyone knows. Needs to be closer to home he says. So the decision may not be mine in the end. I may lose a bloody good medic, and then have to take Georgie back. If she's the only one that's offering."
"Shit" said Molly as she joined in with the mundane, but comforting, task.
"It's not gonna change anything, though, you know that?" He reached his hand out and pulled her in for tight hug.
"I know." She sounded doubtful. He hated that. He knew his actions over the past few years had given her the right to doubt. "Just promise me one thing." She looked at him and saw him nod. "Just keep talking to me. We'll see this through together. We know they both have the power to hurt us, our relationship, to get under our skin. We won't let that happen. We're better than that." She hugged him tight to her as he nodded.
"Stay with me. Stay with me." She repeated loudly with authority. "Look at me, look me in the eye." She was kneeling down outside on a freezing cold October day, her knees in the damp mud that was seeping through her combat fatigues. The wind was whipping round her face. Yet none of that really bothered Molly. What bothered Molly was dealing with the casualty in front of her. She had seen it so many times. A panic attack. "Look at me. Breathe in. Breathe out slow …slowly. Come on mate; come on. Talk to me… five things that you can see….come on give them to me now."
She eventually talked Georgie down from her panic attack. But it had been hard.
It was another cruel twist of fate that saw them both there on that day. Georgie's active duty reassessment coincided with Molly's stint as the examining medic for battle simulation exercise. Some cruel twist of fate, which saw Molly next to Georgie went the simulated casualty sent Georgie into a blind panic. Some cruel twist of fate that it was now Molly who had to write the report. Molly had to pass or fail her.
"Just feel like a big shit." Molly said to her commanding officer. "I know her. I know her history. I was there when it all went wrong the first time, and then again when Elvis was blown from the roof."
"Molly. We have a job to do. You have a job to do. She's not ready. She freaked out with a casualty."
"Yeah I know I understand that, but the casualty, it must be hard for her. Well it was similar to what her fiancé went through. It all happened in front of her. He died….. that's what caused her to panic today…" Molly was speaking fast and gesticulating with her hands.
Her senior rested her hands on her shoulders. "Molly stop… it triggered something. It triggered something so deep it stopped her from doing her job. She's not ready. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can stay apart from the truth. I'll support you 100%. I saw it all. Georgie Lane is not ready to go back out on exercise."
"It's complicated." Molly said chewing her fingernail. "She wants to be the section medic for my husband's gang. She'll think that I've done this on purpose. That I want to keep them apart."
"Bollocks" her superior said as she moved away and walked around the room tidying up. "Complete and utter bollocks. Christ who knows what damage she would do to herself or others if we passed her. Do you really want to send somebody that unstable out to be your husband's medic? Can you imagine the shit storm that she potentially could cause?" Her superior looked directly at Molly. "You have no choice. Write the report."
They knew that difficult times were ahead. After the report was finalised they expected it. Charles never queried her decision. He made it known he supported her. She had given him the gist of that day's events as they cuddled in bed. He listened and held his counsel, but felt an immeasurable relief that Georgie was not returning to his command. Soon the official wheels of process took place, and months later he came home and broke the news to Molly that Georgie had not been declared fit for active service. Molly had mixed emotions about his news, but admitted it made her happy. It gave her huge sense of relief. She was protecting her husband, and she was protecting others. She was doing her job.
"You cheating little…" She stared at him, unsure how to finish the sentence. Shaking her head in utter disbelief. This wasn't the first time he had done this. "You cheated" she said, hurt, "again".
He looked back at her with sad big brown eyes. Unsure how to react and how to take the outburst. Molly wouldn't break his gaze, so he had no chance to hide away from his actions.
Then suddenly he burst out laughing. He saw the laughter in Molly's eyes too and was relieved that within seconds she was laughing as well.
"You're a little cheeky cheating monkey Samuel James. You've got that off your Dad." Pointing at the Monopoly board in front of him and the wad of money that Sam had in his account. "I knew it. You've been nicking from the bank again. There's no way you could afford to pay me rent on Park Lane."
Charles burst out laughing too. He'd been watching his 10-year-old take a little bit more from the bank each and every time he was due a pay-out. He hadn't intervened. This was their fun together time. All bets were off. He knew Molly would take his cheating in good faith. He knew his 10-year-old son was doing it to playfully wind Molly up. They both knew she would take the game far too seriously. She always did.
"Molly. I haven't been cheating. I'm just better at this game than you." He gave his best smile back at her.
Molly jumped up from her chair and reached over to tickle Sam. His punishment. "Oh yeah? Flashing me those cute little dimples. Being cute doesn't get you out of everything."
"I don't know." Charles joined his family, tickling both Molly and Sam at the same time. "It's always works for me." He teased close to her ear.
"Don't you listen to your father Sam. Once a cheater always a cheater." The enthusiastic tickling continued, only ending when the Monopoly board got knocked onto the floor. Sam groaned in dismay. Molly stood, self-righteous . "See cheating never pays off."
Sam helped his Dad pick up the game. Still laughing. He liked Molly these days. He had a good time and Molly was fun to be around. He now had more fun with his Dad too. Molly made his days fun, and visits far more frequent than they ever used to be. He had his own bedroom. He had his own bike in their shed. He had friends on the street where they lived. Coming to see his Dad every other weekend, and two nights every week day was not so bad. Even at the tender age of ten Sam understood that a lot of that was due to Molly.
"So I reckon that game is over then?" Molly said
Charles started packing away the cards. "I guess it is. How about we go for a bike ride now Sam?" It was something the three of them did together. Charles looked around expectantly. It was something that privately Molly had started to love. Charles found that since his injury it was the one thing that helped ease the discomfort. Molly found it kept her fitness up. For Sam he was a kid who just loved going fast and having the attention.
Instantly, Sam jumped up and started to run upstairs to get his gear ready for the ride. While Charles discussed with Molly his hope that they would cycle somewhere and stop off for an afternoon tea before it got dark. He was surprised when these plans were spoiled by Molly's reply.
"No I don't fancy it. Not today. Got a few things that I need to sort out. You don't mind do you?"
Honestly he was disappointed but understood. She sometimes needed a little bit of space. Being in her late twenties, and suddenly thrust into a relationship that brought along a loud, attention seeking child, could be hard work. "No. Put your feet up. We'll be back in an hour or so then."
Sam came running down the stairs. Charles kissed Molly goodbye and off they went. The hour went by quickly. Charles answering as best as he could the million and one questions that Sam had about everything and anything. It was a slow gentle ride through the beautiful countryside, but soon they were returning back to Molly.
As Charles entered the house he instantly heard the sound of angry raised voices.
"Given you what you did. You did it on purpose. Admit it!"
"I didn't. I had to do it, I had to be honest."
Both Sam and Charles recognised the voice immediately as Elvis'. Sam ran into the front room. Elvis was one of his favourite persons. Elvis was the guy that he looked up to. He'd been somebody who had been in Sam's life since he was born, but he hadn't seen him lately, and he was unsure why. He stopped dead however as he walked into the room. Both Molly and Elvis were standing. Staring at each other. It was uncomfortable.
Elvis turned and gave a very short tight smile. "Hi Sam." He didn't say any more as he caught sight of Charles towering over Sam. Sam now looking from adult to adult. Appreciating that there was something wrong.
"What's going on?" Charles asked. The look of concern on Molly's face made him understand the situation quickly. Charles didn't wait for a reply. "Scamp, why don't you go and get out of your cycling shorts? Have a shower and then come down in a bit for tea."
Sam, accepted his father's orders, not feeling too comfortable in the room. Happy he had been given an excuse for an escape. "Are you staying for tea." He still asked Elvis.
"No, I don't think so mate." Elvis spoke before anybody else. "Only came to see Molly, got things to do. Maybe I'll catch up with you later. Yeah? Another day!"
Sam nodded sadly, understanding that he was not welcome. He climbed the stairs with disappointment.
As soon as the sitting room door was closed behind him, he heard the raised voices.
"What the fucks going on?" Charles said. His voice hard cutting through the atmosphere. He moved protectively towards Molly. "What are you doing here?"
Elvis wasn't shy. "I came to speak to Molly… if you need to know. I reckon though everything that happens in this house is your business. Isn't it?"
"Elvis." Molly said, and tried to step forward, but Charles kept a hand on her shoulder. Protecting her. He'd seen Elvis angry before, and he knew he was angry today.
"Your missus here has affectively ruined Georgie's chances of promotion or getting back on tours." Elvis continued.
Charles nodded. "Yes, I know, she did what was right What she had to do."
"Bollocks, don't give me that; she did what she did because she was jealous. She didn't want you and Georgie going off. Having fun while she's stuck at home washing your smalls."
"You know that's not true." Charles said calmly, sitting down and pulling Molly gently beside him. He knew he was at the disadvantage being lower than Elvis, but he was trying to defuse the situation. Hoping Elvis would sit with them too. Charles sighed. The Army taught you many things. It taught you how to go into combat. It taught you how to deal with injuries, but it never taught you how to survive after the combat, after those injuries that affected your mind, and your world. "Elvis come. Sit down. Let's talk about this. What happened happened. It was unfortunate, but for the best."
"The best?" Elvis said. "The best? You honestly think that? Georgie….she's in bits. She can't eat, she can't sleep. She's like you, she's like me; the Army's what you want." Elvis pointed a finger sharply at Molly. "She's just taken that away from her. She is a wreck."
Molly swallowed back the upset and the anger. "Maybe it wasn't my report that's made her so upset." Molly said. "She ain't right Elvis. She hasn't been for a while. She needs help."
"I'm giving her the help she needs."
Charles interjected. "Sorry mate from what I see you're not much better. Since when did the Elvis I know come in and start screaming at a woman."
Elvis stopped at these words He sat and he dropped his head in his hands. "What the fuck is happening to me?"
"You've been through a lot Elvis. It's understandable."
He didn't look at her but raised his head and looked out the window. "I'm just so full of fucking rage all the time. I thought at least Georgie going back out there, doing something normal, something I still can't do, might make things better."
Molly wanted to get up and move across to sit next to him, to give some comfort, but she still didn't trust him. She'd seen many times over the past months his temper.
"You've been through such a lot. It's going to take time. For both of you."
"Shit Molly."
Charles stood and moved closer to Elvis, but still did not touch him. Creating a barrier in between him and Molly. "We've all been through enough. We've all been through too much. But mate this shouting, screaming won't make it better. We need to talk. Are you still talking to someone?"
Elvis shook his head. "No. No didn't think it was doing any good. Georgie felt that we talked enough. That we just needed each other now."
"Oh for God's sake," Molly said. "You know Elvis mate that's wrong. Rule 101 in this job is when the shit hits the fan… you talk. Not to each other Not all the time, but to somebody who's trained in listening and understanding."
Elvis his head snapped up. "Georgie understands. She understands more than you fucking guys do. Living in a perfect world." He laughed and stood up, almost squaring up to Charles. "Look at you. You get shot. Should've ended your career. Oh no Saint bloody Molly was there to save you. And then everything just comes up roses."
Charles replied quietly. "She did the same for you too Elvis. Saved you. You need to remember that. She did the same for you when Georgie couldn't, because Georgie's head wasn't in the right space. There's two of us in this room mate that owe their lives to her. So shouting at her isn't the way to say thanks."
Instantly, Elvis' demeanour changed. The tension, the threat went out of his body "I'm sorry. Molly I didn't mean it. I mean you know I'll be forever grateful."
"It's okay mate." Molly said graciously.
Charles turned as he watched his friend, semi, kneeling in front of his wife, begging for her apology. "Do you know mate that's all she was doing with Georgie. Trying to save lives."
"It's true. Nothing personal. That's not me, but Georgie, she panicked. I can't send anybody out like that. Her head just ain't in the right space. I had to do it."
Elvis stood. He was stiff from small periods of inactivity, another legacy of his fall from the roof. He nodded. "Yeah I understand." He took a big breath and swallowed deeply. "Tell Sam I said sorry and I'll catch up with him soon." Charles only nodded. Elvis squeezed Molly's hand as he moved out of the room towards the front door. "I'll see you. I'm sorry."
And then he left far more gently than he had arrived.
Instantly Charles pulled Molly into a hug. "You okay?" She nodded her head. He regarded her. She looked green. She was sweating. "Christ, Molly, you're shaking."
"I'm alright. It's just, it's just…" She breathed in deeply.
"Yes I know!" Charles said. "It took it out of you. I understand that. But you just got to understand his head is not the right place. He's just suffering."
"I know. And I feel for him. And Georgie too. What the pair of them have been through. God Charles for the flip of a coin that could've been us."
"But it isn't, and don't think I could be if I'm honest." Charles said.
"Don't you?" Molly asked "There was a time there where it was very easy to get drawn in. To stop listening to reason. To fall for Georgie's charms. It could've been us."
"You made me see sense. You saved me again I guess." He moved next to her as she sat, and she rested her head on his shoulders. He sat there in silence for a while. "I reckon I'll order pizzas in for tea. Don't feel like cooking." Molly only nodded Charles turned. "Hungry? Do you want to eat now?" He watched her shake her head. "What's up.?"
"Just ain't hungry."
"What's going on?" The words tumbled out of his mouth as he watched her rush to the downstairs toilet. Dry retching over the toilet bowl. He went behind her and held her hair. She wiped her mouth and rested against the toilet wall. "Dawes?"
"Just haven't been feeling so great lately."
"Are you feeling okay to go back in the sitting room?"
"Yeah just don't talk about food. It's kind of turning my stomach."
"What's going on!"
"Not now." She tried to stand.
He wasn't to be put off. He knelt down beside her in the very cramped room. She was avoiding his eyes, and he gently put his finger under her chin. "Molly what's going on?" He asked gently, moving stray hairs from her face.
"This ain't the time." She said as she tried to stand again. "I don't want to do it here."
"Oh for God sake, Molly, you're worrying me. This isn't just about Elvis and Georgie is it?" He was pleased to see her shake her head. Her head dipped and she broke off that ever important eye contact with him. "Please Molly just tell me."
"Nothing to worry about. I don't think anyway."
"Are you ill?" He jumped in interrupting.
"No, I'm not ill." She reach in to him. Understanding that there probably never was a right time to tell him. "I'm not ill Charles."
"But the sickness? Not being hungry. You weren't well the other morning either. It's not like you, Molly tell me what's going on."
She bought his hands now fully to her mouth, giving them both a kiss. "You are daft clueless prannet at times." She looked at him as he shook his head quizzically. "You really don't know? You ain't guessed?" He shook his head. She paused slightly, then spoke. "I'm pregnant Charles."
The shock on his face was only momentarily evident, until the smile took over his face. She had such plans to tell him. All involved nicer settings than the downstairs toilet. But just then seeing how happy he was she knew telling him anywhere, anytime was the perfect place.
She was pregnant. Something they hadn't planned, but had hoped for. They were going to be parents. They were on the pathway of a new adventure together. Things were back on track for Molly and Charles James.