Title: Becoming Meilan
Summary: Wufei is actually Meilan—a girl! But how does one learn to live with peace? Wufei decides to go back to school.
Warnings: swearing, violence, future shojou-ai (lesbian) relationship. Nothing graphic.
Disclaimer: All of these characters and this world belong to me. Totally, definitely mine.

Author's Note: And we're finally getting somewhere! The previous junk's all been lead-up: the real meat of the story is coming right up. It all starts coming together, and next chapter we have the reappearance of a familiar (and dreaded) face.

Chapter 3

I'm…not going to go into the rest of the war. It was long, and hard, and lonely. We won some battles, and lost some battles. Eventually, we won the war.

And then—

First, there was only relief. Then the heady rush of victory: we won. Justice had been served. It was over. Finally, finally over.

And then—

I woke up the next morning, and I was still alive. People in the streets were still celebrating; I could hear them through my closed window. The war was over, and my family was still dead. My clan was still dead. Hell, my entire colony was still dead.

What was I? What purpose had I in this new world? Where was I to go, what was I to do? Who could I even speak to?

Nothing. No one.

It wasn't the most depressing thing ever—Wufei dying on my shoulder took the prize for that one—but it was close.

The future stretched before me, empty. I had no fucking idea what to do with it.

And I kept hearing things. Seeing things. Things that weren't there. Jumping at noises: the slam of a distant door, fireworks exploding overhead. I knew what this was, had reluctantly studied it so long ago. It was the first day after the war, and I had post-traumatic stress disorder.

I am a warrior. I always have been, and I always will be. What place does a warrior have in peace?

I had a lot of money, the accumulated wealth of the Dragon clan. Blood money, but I wasn't afraid to use it. I had no need to work, so I didn't. I don't remember exactly what I did do. Existed, likely; it surely wasn't living.

A year later, Quatre contacted me about sending the Gundams into space. I didn't reply. I had already joined Mariemaia's rebellion.

Mere weeks later, Mariemaia's rebellion was over. In the end, I had fought with the other Gundam pilots against her. Against war, that three-step waltz she was so fond of. I was surely a soldier, but Yuy had convinced me to try peace.

The forest I stood in was quiet. Birds sang nearby; I had been standing here, motionless, long enough for them to land on me if they so chose. The trigger in my hand mocked me silently. Did I dare press it?

I looked at Nataku one last time. We had been through a lot together, she and I. In a way, she was my last memory of Wufei.

But I didn't need something to remind me of him. I was Wufei, in every way that mattered.

Maybe that needed to change.

To live in peace was a tall order. The only thing I knew how to do as Wufei was fight. To live with peace…

Maybe—

Maybe it was time to be Meilan again.

I took a deep breath. Looked at Nataku one last time. And pressed the trigger.

"Nataku, rest in peace."

Behind me, Sally Po finally stirred. "Wufei. Noin and Zechs have disappeared somewhere. How about it? You want to work with me?"

I thought about it. I needed to do something, true, but…

"A preventer, eh?..."

But.

"No thank you, Ms. Po." I almost stopped there, then changed my mind. The war was over. I had no reason to be so tight-lipped anymore. Besides, Po had been a good ally during the war, and surely deserved more. "The war is over. I find I need to learn how to do something other than fight."

Po looked startled. Then she smiled. "Good luck with that."

I bowed in return. "Thank you for your assistance during the war. If there is any way I can repay you—"

"Oh, don't worry about that," Po interrupted. "I'll think of something. And Wufei…" She laid a hand on my shoulder, left it there even after I flinched. "Keep in touch, okay? Don't be a stranger."

The smile came out of me unbidden, and I could see her astonishment at it. When was the last time I had smiled?

I couldn't remember.

"Thank you, Sally. I will."

And then I left, before she could question me on my use of her first name. I had just realized that Sally Po was my first, and quite possibly only friend since—

Since Wufei died.

I shook off the morbid thought. The sun was out, the birds were still singing, and the war was over. A new life, right?

Right.

You know how they say that it's never as easy as it sounds?

That…was my life.

I stared into the dingy mirror above the sink in the flea-ridden motel room. My reflection stared back, unflinching. "I don't remember how to be Meilan," I told it. Then I scowled. So much for a new life.

My reflection, of course, scowled back at me. In that little mirror, Wufei scowled back at me. On a whim, I reached back and pulled out my hair tie.

My hair fell down around my face, softening its harsh angles. Making me look…feminine.

I shuddered and quickly pulled it back again. Small steps were obviously the way to go in this case. Miniscule steps, even. In the background the telecaster droned on. I practiced another scowl in the mirror, and this time felt grim satisfaction at the boy staring back at me.

Sometime the things that change your life come unexpectedly—little decisions that, at the time, seem inconsequential. In the end, it is these moments that decide your future. Years later, I would look back at what happened next as one of those moments. At the time, of course, it seemed pure chance.

What happened was that I turned away from the mirror to watch the rest of the newscast.

"…so Chancellor Moeser, why are you opening the doors of your school so suddenly?"

"We hope to give all young people a chance to build something with their lives away from the pain and suffering of war…"

Instantly my heart lightened: not much, but just enough. Just enough that I could see the dim path of something opening up before me. The future, maybe. Or just hope. It was more than I had had in a long time.

I wrote down the name of the school: Pax University.

Not subtle, but it would do.

I was going back to school.

Author's Note: Okay, I admit it: I took the chancellor's name from my old university. If you can figure out where I graduated from, you get a prize!

Special thanks go to nightcrawls, for being such a positive reviewer. Thanks!

Join Wufei next time in Chapter Four, where she discovers just how crappy dorm rooms can be, seriously considers requesting a new roommate whose favorite color isn't pink, drops at least two classes, and boycotts the cafeteria. All in Becoming Meilan!