Maybe this year will be better...

Author's Note: I think I know what I'm going to do with this fic, but I'm not entirely sure. I'd love feedback, comments, suggestions. I genuinely appreciate all reviewers who motivated me to take it beyond a one shot. I sincerely hope you enjoy! Thanks!!!!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

January 1st, 1980

It was late morning.

Steven Hyde had been living there long enough to determine the time of day simply by the sounds going on in the Forman household. He noted that there were several more sets of footsteps than there were residents of the home, which wasn't uncommon between the hours of 10am - 2am, and most of the noise seemed to be lingering in the kitchen. That wasn't a surprise either, it really was the heart of it all. The basement, of course, was their sanctuary; the place where the outside world could not get to them, for on that couch, in front of that tiny tv, enclosed in their circle, the rest of the world simply did not exist. But Mrs. Forman's kitchen, that was where the heart beat; she didn't dismiss the pains of the real world, she just healed them.

Or at least she tried to.

He'd been awake for hours, since long before any noises could be heard above him. In fact he wasn't entirely certain he'd slept at all. But as he heard the muffled boughts of laughter he tried to pick out the individual voices of his friends, his family.

He heard Donna's love laugh. The one she couldn't help but unleash whenever Eric was near. It was full of delight, and would roll out of her, barely controllable. No one else could make her laugh like that. Not himself, not Kasey, and definitely not Randy. He smiled slightly, comforted, because that laugh meant his best friend was really home.

He heard the guffaw of Kelso. Big and boisterous and proof that the lovable moron enjoyed the simplest things in life. Laughter burst forth from him, forceful and loud, and it was nothing if not contagious. It was fun and free, just like the man it came from, and despite himself, Hyde shook his head lovingly as the laugh was followed by a clang, a bang, and a yelp. And then there was an even louder guffaw.

He could hear the tumbling chuckle of Fez, blending slightly with the unique higher pitched snorting chortles of Kitty Forman. And he might have been imagining it, but he could hear, ever so slightly, the cute, girlish giggles of Jackie...the sweet laugh she only used when she was truly happy. It was quieter than one might expect from the generally loud ex-cheerleader, and he loved that he knew exactly how it sounded and exactly what it meant. He loved that for a few years he'd been lucky enough to revel in it everyday.

But suddenly he didn't want to think about that. Suddenly he remembered that while they were up there laughing, he lay here, alone, in his narrow cot, and in his saddened mind their laughs all blurred and faded.

He'd been reduced to a sap. And a miserable, lonely one at that.

He sighed loudly, slowly, as he pushed his unrested body out of bed. Pulling on a t-shirt and reaching for his shades, he couldn't fight the inward groan of dread before he made his way to join them all upstairs. So far, 1980 didn't feel any different, let alone any better.

There was barely any room for him around the Forman's kitchen table. Apparently, Eric's return had reminded them all where their real home was. As Kitty bustled around, spontaneously smiling and laughing for no reason, and putting together plate after plate of food, she stopped when she saw him and kissed him lovingly on the cheek as she sang him good morning. He smiled to know she was so happy.

Laurie had returned as well, and while he knew it probably had more to do with low funds or lack of boyfriends than the holiday, or her brother, she seemed to be contributing to his surrogate mother's good mood and so he couldn't begrudge her presence...yet.

Red was in his chair, paper open upon his lap, and while he rarely look up from it's pages, Hyde noticed his expression was softer than normal.

The rest of the usual suspects, Kelso, Fez, Jackie, Bob, were scattered on stools and in chairs, Donna nestled so close to Eric he wondered if his friend could breathe. He tried to not let jealous eyes linger on Jackie in Fez's lap as he joined them and grumbled for Kelso to move out of his seat.

"So what are you kid's going to do today? To start the new year off right?" Kitty asked them, her voice pure joy, as she set down a large plate of breakfast in front of him.

"You know what would really be fun?" Red asked flatly, not looking up from the sports section, "Getting out of my house. You know, before I have to give you all some New Year's Foot in the Ass."

Hyde turned to his best friend and watched as a smile slipped across his face. "You know, Dad. I really did miss you."

And if Hyde didn't know any better, he would have thought he heard some happiness in Red's voice when he replied,"Stop being weird."

As he shoveled in the warm eggs, fried with love, Hyde listened as his friends laid out their plan for the day.

"Let's go ice skating."

"Let's go sledding."

"Let's go shopping."

"Jackie, we are not shopping today."

"It wouldn't hurt you to dress a little less like a lumberjack now that Eric's back home, Don-na."

Hyde watched the girls' scowls fade into shared small smiles...both relieved to find themselves finally back to normal.

And he was almost surprised at his own voice as, before he could stop himself, he smirked in his classic fashion and said, "I've got an idea."

Twenty minutes later, with excuses made to Mrs. Forman and Red, he found himself in the first truly complete circle in months...all six of them, together in the fog. And if he closed his eyes it really felt good again. The excited voices, the fits of laughter, the clouded haze that blocked out everything else. And he was momentarily genuinely glad he'd thought of it. Kelso was talking about being really, really good looking. Donna and Eric couldn't stop smiling at eachother. First because Donna commented on how huge her hands were. Then because Eric commented that he freaking loved her huge hands. But then he looked to his right. Jackie draped across Fez. He wasn't whining about needs. She wasn't whining about anything. And Hyde took a large hit to distract from the sharp twist in his gut, telling himself dwelling on past pains was no way to start a new year.

He made a great effort to focus on Kelso's questions about Africa, even going so far in the charade as to comment himself and throw out a few burns. But as the circle began to break apart, and they all took their usual seats, Hyde felt no more high than he had at the start, and he suspected Eric saw right through him.

He was stalling in front of the fridge. No one was in the kitchen, but it looked better if he were to be caught to appear to be scrounging for food rather than just sitting at the table, alone and pouting. He closed his eyes and relished the feeling of cool air seeping around him, it made him shiver and he liked to react to something so effortlessly, so easily. Nothing else seemed easy anymore. He doubted any one realized it'd been ten minutes since he'd left the basement for "a snack." He doubted any one really heard him leave. And sadly, his suspicions were confirmed when Jackie looked genuinely surprised to see him standing between her and refrigerator.

"Oh, sorry." She apologized quickly, quietly, as if she'd just stumbled into his private sanctuary. Her eyes seemed fearful of whatever snarling and hurtful grunt she assumed he'd send her way. And he truly hated that he'd reduced them to this. Whether anyone would ever believe it or not, he'd honestly never intended to. He just didn't know how else to be. All their lives he'd either burned her or kissed her, and when one became out of the question he'd relied solely on the other.

"No need to be sorry, I was just looking." He was careful not to say anything mean; or anything that would indicate how badly he missed her. He stepped back, and kept his face as blank as he could. She mumbled a small thanks, and smiled at him without looking to his eyes, and pulled herself out a coke and then made her way to the brownies on the counter. He didn't move, afraid of the awkwardness if he found himself in her way again, and he almost held his breath, simultaneously hoping she'd just go back down the basement, and never leave his side again.

Still without making any eye contact, she asked, "So, Steven, what are your plans for 1980?"

He thought he could still hear the layer of her voice that cared about where he'd go and what'd he do, but he assumed it was just his imagination and that she was just being polite.

"Run the store, I guess. As best as I can. Maybe get my own place, an apartment or something." He swallowed hard. Why did his voice sound so strange. "You?"

"I don't know. School, maybe."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Donna's going. It's probably a good idea, and if I do it now, at least I won't have to do it alone."

He nodded, mostly to have something to do. He could understand being nervous about starting college all by oneself, but had no idea why she was always so afraid to do or be anything on her own. Didn't she know she could do anything?

There was another awkward pause, her eyes refusing to settle near him, his eyes refusting to go anywhere else. And then without another word she made her way back to the basement door. Not hearing Hyde's heavy exhilation of breath, and very sincere whisper. "I miss you."

The rest of the afternoon had passed uneventfully. He'd laughed some, although it was rather half-hearted. He'd talked some, although it rarely said anything real at all. And somehow he made it through a New Year's Family (plus all their misfit friends) Dinner without Kitty ever asking why he looked so sad.

He was standing in the kitchen now, leaning against the counter with a beer in his hand, smirking slightly at the crap Donna was giving Eric for insisting on wearing rubber gloves while doing the dishes. Then he heard it, they all heard it, and everyone stopped to listen.

"No, Fez. I can't just stay here and wait for something to happen." Jackie's voice had risen, carrying through the door to the living room, and Hyde's ears perked up at how strong she sounded.

"But Jackie, I do not want to move to Madison. I like my job. I like it here."

"I never said you had to come with me."

"I do not understand, my goddess."

"I think we should take things slow. And I know I need to go. We'll see eachother weekends, breaks, special occasions. But I'm leaving, whether you understand or not." The front door shut. Fez's whimpering started and Donna and Eric went out to comfort him.

Hyde stood, alone again, and gulped down his beer. Jackie was leaving? This year was definitely doomed...

AN2: Please, please, please, please please review! You'll get all my love and gratitude, & it only takes a moment!