Chapter 2: Feeling Lost

The next day, Taylor was back at work. She was thinking about the life that was growing inside of her more than the work that was in front of her. She was told that it's supposed to feel like the happiest time of her life, but now that she knew she was pregnant, she wasn't as excited as these other mothers who were expecting. She sat back in her chair and thought about when Alyssa found out she was pregnant with Elizabeth.

(Flashback)

Alyssa came running up to Taylor. "Guess what!" She shrieked. Taylor laughed to see her best friend practically jumping up and down.

"What?" She asked.

Alyssa smiled at her. "I'm eight weeks pregnant! Cole and I are having a baby!" She shrieked.

Taylor gasped and she hugged her.

"That's great, Alyssa, congratulations," Taylor stated.

Alyssa laughed and pulled back. "How did Cole take the news?" She asked.

"He was just as thrilled as I am," Alyssa replied.

Taylor laughed slightly and they walked through the park together. "Well, what about you and Eric? I mean, you two have been married for a year now," Alyssa commented. Taylor shrugged her shoulders slightly.

"We haven't thought about it actually," she answered.

"Really?" Alyssa asked.

"Yeah, we've been busy with our work. I mean we're lucky if we get that far at night lately."

Alyssa stared at Taylor in disbelief. "You two are sounding dull already being married for only a year," Alyssa commented.

"Well, that's what happens when to workaholics get married," she answered.

"Do you even want kids?"

Taylor thought about it. "I don't know…a lot of the time throughout my life I didn't want to be a mother," Taylor answered.

"What about now?" Alyssa asked.

"I don't know."

(End Flashback)

Taylor jumped out of her daydream when there was a knock on her door. "Come in," she answered. Wes came in with a comforting smile.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hey," she answered.

"I came by to give you this."

He handed Taylor a bag. "These are Eric's personal effects…of what we could find," he informed. Taylor opened the bag and a lump went up her throat when she saw Eric's Quantum Defender and morpher. "I'm really sorry, Taylor. When the smoke cleared, he was gone," he explained. Taylor dumped the rest of the stuff out and a tear fell down her face when his ring fell out of the bag.

"Can this get any worse?" She asked.

Taylor stood up and she looked at Wes. "Wes…a few hours before you called, I was seeing my doctor," she informed.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

Taylor shook her head slightly. "No…I found out I'm a month pregnant," she replied. Taylor crossed her arms over her chest and cleared her throat.

"Taylor…"

"Don't, Wes, I'm already a mess."

She pushed her hair out of her face and let out a sigh. "I have no idea what to do. I have no idea how to take care of a baby," she answered. Wes crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her.

"Do you even want it?" He asked.

Taylor bit her lip. "I do…but…" she trailed off. Taylor let out another sigh. "Now wouldn't be the best time for me to have one," she finished.

"So…what are you saying?" Wes asked.

"I don't know what I'm saying Wes. I'm a wreck. I can't do this without him here."

"Taylor this isn't like you at all."
"No shit Sherlock."

Taylor pushed her hair out of her face again. "Well, what do you want?" Wes asked. Taylor looked at him.

"Isn't it obvious, Wes? Do I really have to spell it out for you?" She asked.

Taylor sat down again and stared at her wedding picture that sat on the corner. "I want things to be back the way they were, before all this, before I joined the SGA. I want things to be back when I was a lieutenant and he was a commander," she explained. Wes sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"You know, Taylor, if you ever need Jen or me, you know how to get a hold of us," he reminded.

Taylor nodded her head slowly and watched as he left. Taylor stood up and she kicked her desk and pushed her chair across the room, crashing into the wall, knocking a few frames she had on the wall down. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!" She shouted. Jen came in hearing the crashing come in.

"TAYLOR!" She shouted.

She ran over and grabbed Taylor's arms. "Taylor, Taylor, what's going on?" She asked. Taylor pushed Jen away.

"Stay away from me Jen," she snapped.

Taylor backed up a bit. "Taylor, what is it?" She asked. Taylor shook her head slightly. "You have to calm down, Taylor okay? You'll hurt yourself and the baby," Jen pointed out. Taylor stood tall for a second before she sat in the middle of the mess she made.

"I can't do this, Jen…I can't do this…" she told her.

Jen sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Taylor lowered her head and she shook her head. "What's wrong with me? I don't act like this," she commented. Jen sighed and wiped the tears from Taylor's face.

"Even the strongest fall, Taylor," Jen answered.

Taylor bit her lip. "Eric learned while he was a Ranger, that sometimes you need friends to help you," she added.

"How can I raise this baby without him? I can't raise this baby without him," Taylor answered.

"You don't have to raise this baby by yourself."

Jen sighed. "We'll help you, all you have to do is ask for it," she added. Taylor let out a shaky sigh and she placed her hand on her stomach.

"I need your help, Jen, please help me," Taylor told her.

Jen wrapped her arms around Taylor in a sisterly embrace. "I'll help you," she assured her. Taylor swallowed the lump in her throat and her mind drifted back to her baby.

"Eric…why did you leave me?" She pondered.