This Is …Me

Summary: Jennifer De Silva is like your normal, typical, over-ambitious and highly intelligent teenager. There's only a few things wrong with her life: She doesn't have a boyfriend, her whole family are keeping secrets from her AND she can talk to ghosts.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Mediator BUT I DO own several of the characters i.e. the next generations of DeSilvas, McTavishes, Slaters, Ackermans etc. AND I own this amazing plot which might have been used before by someone else but I dunno…whatever

A/N. Jen writes in normal script, Odette in bold italics and Brooke, in bold. Letters and E-mails are in italics and stressed words are underlined

Chapter Six

A.N: Hey! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed but review more! I don't mind at all! And this is the longest chapter I've ever written so you better review loads!

18-09-31

After school

I've just had a meeting with the Guidance Counsellor A.K.A my mum; my lovely, darling mother who forgot to tell me she's a mediator-really.

It makes sense really if you think about it. The Mission's such an ancient school and yet I'm only ever met one or two ghosts because my mum sorted out the rest.

And guess what else she's failed to mention to me over the years? Dad's a mediator too!

Huh, a family of mediators-you would've never guessed it.

Then where does hunky Lucas come in? It turns out that his dad, Paul Slater, Kenny's dad, is a mediator and all though Lucas himself isn't one his dad told him all about them (although Lucas said his preferred name is Shifter, whatever that is). I wish my mum would have been as open as that but no, I've lived a whole 16 years thinking me and Kenny are the only ones like that in the world (and did I mention alien like freaks?) but it turns out there are more (and more alien like freaks).

But Mum still hasn't revealed the mystery which is Kenny (even though it isn't a mystery but…whatever)..

I never got to say by to Lucas though. As soon as Mum finished explaining, he hurried off. Sob.

Right now I'm in the passenger seat of Oddie's car, listening to the new rock band, Sue i Side and let me tell you, their songs are very depressing and that actually doesn't help. Oddie has also told me, that, there will be no parental supervision. Just loads of teens in a huge mansion. How dangerous.

Brooke's in the back seat. She's still not speaking to me. I don't care…well I do.

And look! There's darling Celine in her car (how strange is it that the twins have different cars? I guess it just shows how loaded Uncle Jake and Aunt Gina are) with Amber Slater next to her. I've hardly spoken to Lucas's sister but I can tell she's going to become a Celine clone.

Celine as usual has changed from the slightly decent clothes for school to the kind of outfit (or rather costume), a porn star would wear; a low cut halter with a tiny, black leather miniskirt and her lovely (not) belly-button ring can be seen. Amber, meanwhile, is wearing something a little (stress the little) decenter (I don't care if that isn't a word) but a lot more expensive.

I look down at my own outfit for the day-a pink shoulder baring sweater with black trousers and a pretty matching pink scarf. I could say that I'll never be as sexy as Celine (eurgh) but I know that's just lying.

We're reaching the mall now. It's like a race between Oddie and Celine to see who can reach there the quickest. They're speeding like mad and no! A red convertible swerves in front of the two cars and as the windows lowers, we find out it's Lucas.

Celine pushes her boobs out even further as I grimace with disgust.

"Lucas!"

"Celine," replied Lucas not too enthusiastically; not entirely looking at her, but at me.

I try to smile coolly.

"Are you ok?" whispers Oddie.

Knowing that the smile isn't working, I toss my hair and tilt my head slightly up, avoiding Lucas's penetrating gaze and pretending I just don't care.

I think he's fallen for my acting and the car turns and heads to the mall. "See ya ladies," he says, "I'll see you inside."

"Oh, we will!" replies Celine eagerly.

And then both cars wait for the red care to fade into the distance and the race starts again.

Celine wins.

"Damn!" says Oddie as gets out of the car and slams the door.

-

At Oddie's house

Oh. My. God.

(I seem to say that a lot these days).

I just came back from the mall after meeting Paul Slater. Kenny's dad.

We were in the Food Court, bags in every hand (I bought a strapless red top which flares out to wear with my designer jeans and some red strappy high heels-very chic, Oddie assured me).

Oddie also told me to make up with Rookie and we did, over coffee.

"I'm sorry I said you would have a Zack-baby."

"I'm sorry I got into such a strop."

And that was it.

Only two sentences and we were best friends again.

While we talked about how idiotic we had been, Lucas (where had he come from) came over and said hi.

"Hey," I replied in my ever so cool attitude.

"Um…well…I'd like you to meet my parents," and then he moved to the side to reveal a handsome man with Lucas's ice blue eyes and slick (but with curling ends) brown hair and a pretty lady who had Lucas's honey blonde hair.

"Hi, Jennifer right?" drawled the handsome man who I presumed to be Paul Slater.

"Yeah."

"And Brooke and Odette," said Paul, looking at the other two. "I knew your parents."

"We know," replied Oddie.

"I'm Kelly," introduced the lady. "Paul's wife."

Gee, I had no idea.

"So YOU'RE the person mum and Aunt Suze love bitching about!" burst out Rookie, then realizing her bluntness, she uttered a quiet, "Sorry."

Kelly narrowed her eyes and I knew she wanted to kill the three of us, but Paul laughed saying, "I could imagine that."

Then he looked again at me and I felt myself shrink at his gaze. "You're the splitting image of your father."

"So I've been told."

"You're an only child?"

"No, I have a younger brother, Kenny." You should know. "He looks a lot like you."

He seemed surprised by this.

"Me? But…" and then the all mighty Paul went quiet as realization sunk into his eyes. So he hadn't known that Mum was ever pregnant with his son. He hadn't known that such a huge thing could happen after raping her. He hadn't known that not using protection had huge consequences; He hadn't known.

"Hey, what happened?" asked Kelly.

"Nothing, nothing," said Paul, shaking his head. "Well it was nice meeting you girls. We'll hopefully see you soon."

We uttered good byes then Paul and Kelly left, leaving Lucas on his own at our table again.

"You guys are going to the party tomorrow aren't you?" he asked.

"I should hope so. It's half my party," replied Oddie obviously hurt that Lucas had forgot Celine had a twin sister.

Lucas had the grace to look embarrassed. "Oh, yeah, sorry."

"We're going though," jumped in Rookie, "As you can probably tell," she continued, looking around at the many bags which surrounded our smallish table.

Lucas laughed. He has a nice laugh-a deep, happy laugh. "So I'll see you soon."

Oh my God. Are you writing about Lucas?

Maybe

Oooo

Shut up!

Oooo

Hmph

Lol

We're gonna look like sex bombs tomorrow

I would hope so; otherwise I've spent $100 for nothing

YOU guys may look like sex bombs, but I won't. Even ZACK won't go out with me

He will

How can you be so sure?

Ve have our vays

I'm sure you do, Miss I-got-a-D-in-German

Last year! I'm taking Spanish now! And I'm getting an A in that!

Ahem

Thanks to little Miss De Silva here who is a master at that

Thank you

Back on my trauma?

Ah yes your trauma

With Zackie boy

Don't call him that!

Whatever

Anyway, just straighten you lurvely white blonde hair, emphasize those lovely violet eyes with your new eyeliner we got today…

…Make your lips as kissable as you can with your new lip gloss and slip on that lovely black dress over your skinny jeans…

…Which is excellent for you as it is a huge contrast against your white, white skin…

Then you'll be one of the hottest babes in Carmel

Northern California

The whole of California

The USA

The whole of America

The whole world

Did I mention you guys have wicked imaginations?

-Sticks tongue out-

Pillow fight!

19-09-31

After the party at my house (did I mention it's 4:00 am in the morning?)

That was the least boring party I've ever been to in my life. I'm not saying it was fantastic or brilliant or even very good, but it wasn't boring. It was excitement at it's peak.

It started when Rookie and I arrived at Oddie's house at 7 pm.

Celine opened the door for us, did this weird sneery thing when she saw who we were (and especially our outfits which made us look like sex bombs as mentioned before) then let us in. The first person we saw was Oddie, chatting to Zack. Oddie was looking the best she had in a long time. She was wearing black, v necked, tight fitting, 3 quarter sleeve top with a short black which accentuated her long, slim legs. She probably didn't know it but quite a few boys were ogling this and her cleavage.

"Oddie! Happy birthday!" we yelled, giving her the presents. Mine was a pair of shoes she'd had her eye on for a long time and Rookie's was the matching bag.

Oddie took our presents (after she complimenting us, and we complimenting her) and left to put them in the kitchen, leaving us alone with Zack.

"Hey Jen, you look great!" I smiled and said the same to her, conscious that other people were thinking the same judging by the leers I'd got from half the football team on the way in (did I mention I love being pretty?)

Then Zack looked at Rookie and his eyes practically popped out of his head.

"O-oh my God," he stuttered, "you look fantastic."

Rookie looked the happiest she'd been in ages. "Thanks," and then Zack invited her to dance for a bit and she very eagerly said yes. I rolled my eyes and went to the living room

I saw Blue Wonder and went to say hello but I was interrupted in my journey by my very hot, very backstabbing ex boyfriend Laurie Scott. He has hair down to his chin which is very black and wavy and grey eyes. We used to be inseparable but then he cheated on me with Tammy (HATE HER!), one of Celine's clones because I was "too caught up in work."

"Hey Jen."

"Hey."

"How are you?"

"I'm good."

"Aren't you gonna ask how I am?"

I rolled my eyes. "How are you?"

"Tammy dumped me."

"So I've heard."

"And I was wondering if-"

"You want us to get together again."

"Yeah!"

"No," and then I walked away, very calmly and coolly and then he stopped me.

"Jen, come on! Remember how happy we used to be?"

"Get lost."

"Remember this….and this…" and then he started to kiss me starting at my hair then my forehead, nose, lips and then even my neck. I pushed him away but he continued, forcefully.

Surprisingly I did not feel the sensation I used to when he kissed me but just bored. His hands were roaming everywhere-my shoulders, my back, my butt and then finally, predictably my boobs.

This was getting way too far.

I tried to push him off but his grip on me was too strong. "Geroff!" I shouted but Laurie just grinned, clearly enjoying my discomfort.

But then suddenly, I was able to breathe and Laurie wasn't in my face anymore but in the hands of Lucas who's big, strong hands were clasping Laurie's shoulder which looked to be very uncomfortable.

Lucas, I thought with joy, was looking hotter than ever in his dark jeans, plain white shirt and light coloured denim jacket.

"She said to get lost."

Laurie looked at me, then him. "God, what are you, going out or something?"

I laughed lightly, pretending to think this very funny. I looked at Lucas to see if he found this funny too but he just stood with the same emotionless expression.

Laurie raised one eyebrow then laughed very patronizingly as he walked away to Trisha Hopkins, another one of Celine's clones.

"You're chance has gone, Jen," he said.

"Guess what? I don't care."

Lucas looked at me for like the first time ever. "You okay?"

I nodded.

He looked me up and down and I thought there was something wrong then I realized he was checking me out. I felt a shiver down my spine. Ooh!

"Hey, Jen, you wanna…" but his sentence was cut off when Rookie came running, excitement in her eyes.

"Jen! I need to speak to you!" Then noticing Lucas, "Oh, hey Lucas."

He nodded. "I guess I'll be seeing you later."

Rookie led me to a corner to talk some girl talk. "He asked me out!"

"Who did?"

"Zack!" she squealed. "Zack Ackerman asked me, Brooke McTavish, resident freak (if only she knew) and albino, out!"

I hugged her warmly. "Awww, I'm so happy for you!"

She giggled…giggled. Not the totally cute horsey laughter I was used to hearing which she had inherited from her mum but a proper, high pitched, girly giggle. Her face meanwhile, was the epitome of happiness. It was shining, radiant and she had never looked more beautiful before.

"I know you would be! I mean, he probably hasn't still gotten over you yet," she replied, frowning, "But still! At least I look nice enough that the boy of my dreams is asking me out!"

"Dahling, I have every reason to believe he's gotten over me. Look at him over there, staring at you. You are clearly the object of his desire."

She giggled again (!!!) then said worriedly, "You're not angry though, are you? That he might now like me?"

"Eww! No way! Rookie, he's my cousin! Step cousin yes, but cousin all the same and even if he wasn't, I just don't feel for him that way. Now go over there and show him more reasons to lurve you!"

"You'll be okay? I mean, I don't want to leave you alone again. Look what happened last time," reminded Rookie.

I laughed. "I'll be fine. I'll go and say hello to Oddie."

And then Rookie went into her beloved's arms (okay, so not into his arms but…whatever).

I went to the kitchen to look for Oddie and what I found was NOT good.

Oddie was stumbling round the large kitchen, a cup of spiked punch in her hands. I hurried over to catch her as she nearly fell beside the sink.

"Oh my god, Oddie!"

She looked at me and smiled drunkenly. "Jennnn." She leaned back into the sink, tilting her head so her long, thick, sandy blonde hair fell into the dishes lying there. I took her head and positioned it upright, snatching the "punch" away.

"Oddie, what have you been doing?" I shouted.

"He came," she replied unhelpfully.

"Who?" I demanded.

"Blue Wonder," she answered, pointing to the door I had just come through, "and he started kissing me. I didn't mind at first-after all, he's one of the hottest guys in school but then it got uncomfortable. He gave me punch and starting touching me in places. He said I was looking hot and that I would look even hotter with all my clothes off. I pushed him and he called me a whore, said that I was the one who was leading him on to believe I wanted him to…you know…and then he touched me again and left. And he got me like this." Her words were slurred and she was crying heavily. I hugged her and said words of comfort like a mother.

"I'll go tell Blue Wonder where to go and…"

"Don't leave me on my own!"

She started to fall again and I held her up. "Ssh, it's okay, it's okay…"

Lucas came into the kitchen with a frown on his face. "Hey Jen, someone spiked the punch so I'm gonna refill it," then noticing the drunk Oddie, "Oh my God, what happened to Odette? Is she okay?"

I shook my head. "Does she look okay to you? She's drunk," and I then explained about what Blue Wonder had done. His eyes widened-was that anger or laughter? Was he feeling sorry for Oddie or mocking her? His blue eyes were completely unreadable yet the most shocking thing was what came out of his mouth.

"It's all my fault."

Huh?

He didn't wait to explain. "Blue was boasting he could get all the girls to second base by midnight and rest of us…we encouraged him. We said that if he did we would give him money…"

"And if he didn't?" I asked (quite coolly, may I add).

"He…he would have to go out with…with the albino in front of everyone at the Shack."

The Shack is the Smoothie Shack next to the beach. It's THE place for THE people-Celine and her clones and the Jocks. Everyone who's anyone goes there. When I was Laurie's girlfriend, I went there quite often (it was soo superficial-but the smoothies were amazing!) but now, sure I've gotten a few invites but from my experience, I know it's better not to go.

What made me most angry though, was that going out with Rookie was apparently a punishment. I was seething. This degrading of one of the best people ever made me forget about Oddie, leaning on my shoulder.

"You dickhead!" I said to Lucas. He looked surprised for a second that perfect Jen could use such language then quickly apologized over and over again; but I ignored him.

"You and your fucking friends are such fucking bastards! But then, that's not surprising is it. You know, Lucas, I thought you might be nicer than them but how I was wrong. I didn't' know you were JUST LIKE THE OTHERS!" My voice was laced with fury and rage, but I wasn't done yet. "But I guess that's to be expected of a guy who's dad raped my mum!"

Silence.

I could definitely read Lucas's eyes now.

And I walked away in anger, dragging Oddie with me, leaving Lucas, staring at our backs, open mouthed (and even looking like that he looked like a Greek God).

I led Oddie to the bathroom to sober herself up (and vomit loads of times into the sink).

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Several curls had come out from my updo, framing my face. I didn't bother to put them back.

"I can't believe you told him," said Oddie, her words slurring slightly when she had finished tidying herself up.

"Yeah, well I did and I don't regret. He should know."

"But he might not go out with you now seeing as you two are step brothers."

"Zack's my step cousin and he has…had…a huge crush on me, like Uncle Brad, had on Mum."

"Eww. Thanks for telling me," replied Oddie sarcastically.

"You'll probably forget since you're so drunk," I retorted.

Oddie laughed cynically. "That's me; Oddie the whore. Available for one hour, costing $50."

"Oddie!"

She thanked me for looking after her then we came out in search for Rookie but she was too busy sucking face with Zack on one of the couches in the living room. Oddie and I quickly hurried away into the garden, scarred for life.

"Ewww! Did you see where Zack's hand was? I swear all of us will lose our virginity by the end of the party. Me with some random footballer who'll be sent by Blue to remind me of my whoreness; Rookie with Zack and you…" Oddie looked to the doors leading into the garden where a certain Lucas was standing talking to Blue.

"Shut up!" But I continued looking at Lucas because something very interesting seemed to be happening judging by his actions.

"Oddie, come closer," I said and we tiptoed (although there was no reason to) to behind the bushes, near Lucas and Blue.

"What are you? The protector of virgins?" Blue was saying.

"Blue…"

"Cos you know, when you're done, hand them over to me so we can have some fun." Blue was obviously very drunk.

"This is what I mean! That's all you guys think about. I mean, come on, doesn't anything else attract you to a girl other than her boobs and butt?"

"I dunno…how about her virginity...but if she isn't, she'll be good in bed!" and Blue laughed in a really infuriating way. I just wanted to kill him there and then.

Lucas looked at him in disgust. Blue seemed to notice this and added, "Aw come on Luke, don't tell me you don't think about it either!"

Part of me wanted him to say no, proving he's nice but another part wanted him to say yes, proving he isn't gay. Yes, I agree, I'm a very messed up person.

"I'm a teenage boy, of course I do!" Hmmm, was that good or bad? "But I'm not just gonna go around sleeping with any girl who I think is hot but a girl who's hot AND has a great personality." Oh my God, he's perfect! He isn't gay AND he's nice (a/n is that even possible? Me and my friend were discussing how all the hot, nice guys are gay and the hot, mean ones or the ugly, nice ones are straight. It's not fair!). "And I would never harass a poor innocent girl like you did today!"

"What the fuck? You dared me to!"

"But only if the other girl wanted to."

"That whore so wanted it!"

Punch.

I winced.

"You fucking made her drunk!"

Punch back.

I winced.

And a fight followed, with of course, Oddie's new hero, Lucas winning.

Go Lucas! You're the best! You know how to beat the rest! Whoo!

Sorry, I got sidetracked for a moment. I have realized I'm rubbish at cheerleading.

Later on when Oddie had thanked Lucas (while staring at his six pack which had become visible after he took off his jacket) and Blue was comforted by Celine (who was practically offering her boobs to him), Lucas talked to me.

"So, we're related."

"Oh, no, not technically. You're dad raped my mum in a drunken state and ta-da, Kenny was born. Amazing Kenny who looks nothing like my dad. That's how I figured it out. Well, I overheard a conversation first. Yes, I know, eavesdropping was bad, but hell I was young! And foolish. Isn't it funny how young people are foolish? I guess I'm still young, and so are young, and I guess we're still foolish but I think were less…foolish, I mean…" Yes I was rambling. Yes I'm a geek. I do that when I'm nervous (I've inherited this from Mum).

"So that means I can still do this."

And then he kissed me.