"Humans…you're all in-insane…"

Rose had successfully relieved the Doctor of his shirt and jacket and he was sure that by now he must be one huge chocolaty mess. Not that he cared. Whatever she was doing with it, she was a genius.

"I don't hear you complaining. Actually," she murmured, brushing a chocolate-covered thumb across one nipple, "I'm impressed. You've managed to shut up. Ten out of ten." The Doctor bit his lip as she licked the chocolate off again.

"Does that mean I can take this thing off now?"

"No."

"Plea-agh!" Rose was ignoring him, apparently, appearing to prefer to continue the onslaught on his chest. "Complete maniacs," he muttered through gritted teeth, "complete maniacs…"

"You're going to have to stop the species-bashing," Rose warned, in between kisses, "or you really are going to be in trouble."

The Doctor grinned. "Stupid ape."

Without replying, Rose shoved the Doctor backwards, and he landed with a thud against the carpet. She ignored the protests and, occasionally pinning a restless hand to the ground, pulled his trousers off and discarded them, really not bothered whether they caught fire or not.

"Take it back?" she smirked.

"No." The blindfold disappeared and he blinked against the sudden light, Rose's face gradually swimming into view above him. He almost laughed out loud at the sight of her very smudged chin, but before he could open his mouth, she'd covered it with her own in a hard kiss, what was left of the chocolate in her mouth sending sparks through his head.

"You," she gasped as she pulled away, "are so screwed." Rose shifted again so that she straddled him, a wicked smile spreading across her lips.

Damn Rose, damn that dress, damn that smudge…

"Look what I found," she said in a singsong voice, waving a small white dish. She ran her finger round the edge, gathering up the last of the chocolate. "Whatever shall I do with this?"

"Just do something with it, for heaven's sake!" groaned the Doctor, unconsciously arching upwards into Rose. "Why did I choose today to wear underwear?"

An amused smile crossed Rose's face. "I'll have to remember that. Oh, and Doctor? You can move your hands now." She licked the remaining chocolate from her finger and cocked an eyebrow suggestively.

-

"Just how did I manage to do that?"

"What?"

The Doctor looked at Rose, a bit confused. "How did I manage to get that dress off you so fast without ripping it?"

Rose propped herself up on her elbows, regretting it immediately. Flopping back to the ground with a groan, she muttered in disbelief, "I don't know. I don't care! What I do know is, next time I surprise you, I'm not doing it on the floor. Ow…"

"Don't you think this is a bit weird?" asked the Doctor after a while. "Remember I told you how the TARDIS was alive? And that I talk to her and stuff?" Rose just stuck an eyebrow up at him. "Well, here we are, lying naked on the floor, staring at the roof…reckon she can see us as well?" He stuck his tongue out at Rose, the look of horror in her face causing him to burst into giggles.

"What, is this some kind of voyeur club now? Exclusive membership, sentient time ships only?"

"Seriously though, Rose." He sat up, looking down at her for a moment, his expression unreadable. "You know what this means, don't you?" Rose smiled.

"Signing up. You're stuck with me."

"That okay with you?"

Rose gave a long-suffering sigh. "Stupid Time Lord."